"What the hell are you doing, you rotten Vice Chief?"

"Keep talking like Sougo, and he might really appear."

"Is that good or bad?"

"I hate to admit it, but we might need that Sadist Prince come in this scene."

Gintoki blinked with dryness in his voice. "Shouldn't you add mayo at the end of your sentence, Mayo Prince?"

A fist clenched out of the mayonnaise bottle costume, but Hijikata controlled himself. "Be thankful, you ignorant ass. The scent in this thing literally keeps those T-Zom off us."

"The heck is a T-Zom?"

"Testosterone-hungry Zombies. It's fitting that such an aphrodisiac drug is hidden in Yoshiwara."

"Just like that aizome kaori, huh?"

The screams from inside the Yoshiwara brought indescribable anguish towards the two adults. In front of them, another man fought for his dignity and boxers as the drugged citizens scramble to keep his hairy limbs secured. After a shared frozen moment, Gintoki patted the back of Hijikata's costume. "Good luck."

"O-Oi, oi!" Despite stumbling, Hijikata managed to catch the hem of the permhead's kimono. Gripping it tightly, he stated, "You are the hero of this story! Do your job!"

"Didn't you wear that to do your job in there?! You are the police in this town! Do your job!"

"Don't bring my words back! Look, someone in charge of Yoshiwara already got their citizens in a safe place, whatever. All you have to do is confirm everyone's safe, bring the drugs back as evidence, and look for the antidote. Clear?"

The gigantic costume bounced in the pole from Gintoki's kick. "Why're you dumping your job unto me? You have that mayo armor for yourself!" Dismissing the policeman's almost desperate grunt, Gintoki paced in the opposite direction. "Anyway, I'm going to find two annoying brats. Tell me if you- Utah*me *or*!"

"Tell you to -hik- what? Save us with your manliness? Ah, gracious hero, please come and end this -hik- princess's demise~ BWAHAHAHAHA AS IF I'M GONNA SAY THAT, IDIOT!"

Ah, too late, he was caught. Hijikata gave salutations to the unheroic protagonist as the latter got dragged by the female terminator deeper into Yoshiwara. "Reinforcements will come around an hour. They're busy preparing for the large-scale incident. They might take another hour, though."

"You bastard! Keep that grin off that mayo-induced fatty face!" He gestured his hands to strangle the rotten Vice Chief, but to no avail. While Tsukuyo kept off kicking the other T-Zom, her grip on Gintoki's waist is firm and unshakeable. "Once I get out of this, I'll-"

"Ha? What's -hik- that, darling?" A flushed face got closer to Gintoki's, with purple, dilated pupils piercing through his being. More like threatening my being, thought Gintoki as he swallowed his nervousness. Through planning his escape, Tsukuyo leaned closer and brought her lips beside his ear, her hot breath muttering, "Want me to throw you into this sea of willing lovers?"

Careful not to inhale any of the drugs in case Tsukuyo have been affected, Gintoki cleared his throat before calmly saying, "I-I would rather be thrown into a soft pair of boo- I mean pillows, honey-"

"THEN THE BED IT IS! MWAHAHAHA!"

The God of Misery must be having way too much fun with me. With that last train of thought, Gintoki could only scream as he flew over the horny crowd before crashing into a familiar household. All I've done throughout the story is scream! How uncool is that!

"Welcome, Gin-san," For the second time, he harshly landed through the broken walls of Hinowa's residence. The only one able to greet Hinowa back is a miserable-looking butt. "Still lively just always. I'm glad you avoided the mayhem outside."

With a soft grunt behind the boxes over his head, the permhead asked, "Thought people evacuated? Don't tell me that kiddo's still lingering 'round here?"

"Seita... went somewhere else, but he's safe. No minors were harmed nor involved, by the way." A little sigh came from the perm's direction.

A distant but bellowing laugh of a certain female terminator dominated over the noisy streets of Yoshiwara. Gintoki straightened up with crackling in his bones before observing his surroundings. Boxes littered around the area he slid into, some blown away from the impact. The white substances and the green herbs inside the plastic containers were enough for Gintoki to scoff at them. "Did she risked collecting all these that led her to that?"

Hinowa answered with merriment lacing her voice, "You don't really think that, do you? Truly, she turns into an adorable fool when she- Hm, let's just say it's a matter of preference rather than a consequence."

Hiding a little secret behind her smile, Hinowa watched Gintoki scratch his head, akin to what she would consider confusion. A little teasing was about to come out from the late courtesan when Gintoki cleared his throat, unusually heavy at that.

"... Have you- Were they-"

Bang!

"Hey, there -hik- darling~ Watcha doin' -hik-?" A swaggering body sluggishly danced its way through the hallway carrying a battered T-Zom and an expensive-looking box. The door miserably hung on its only functional hinge but received mercy when Tsukuyo kicked it off to fend the incoming T-Zom. "BLAST OFF, YOU HONEYMOON WRECKERS! BWAHAHA-hik-HAHAHAHA!"

Despite Hinowa's light protest, Gintoki wheeled her over to an adjacent room full of suitcases with an odor Gintoki didn't appreciate in the slightest. Before he closes the door, Hinowa remarks, "Don't get too hard! Save some for later!"

"What the hell are you talking about, woman! Read the situation, will ya!"

Right after sliding the door shut, a hand grasped his belt back away from a giggling T-Zom. A spear swung through between his legs, forcing him to split to avoid the undesirable accident. Tsukuyo heaved Gintoki off his feet and threw him to another hallway with a good measure from the hungry T-Zom crowd. Just as she was about to follow him, they engulfed her and pinned her down the mat.

"Tsukuyo!" Sweat runs down Gintoki's temple as he ponders whether or not to hurt the hormone-induced citizens. "Tch, when did you become a man, huh?! As far as I know, you're neither feminine nor masculine; you're just a drunk terminator!"

Dismissing Gintoki's attempt to distract whoever he was trying to distract, Tsukuyo merely grunted in response."Guess the alcohol wore off, huh? Gintoki! Get to the top of this building and burn this incense!"

"What, you're actually not drunk?"

"It was a special drink to make it seem I'm one of them-guh! Now, go!"

Hoping he caught the box containing the chocolates they made earlier, Tsukuyo resigned herself to her fate as she heard the steady beat of footsteps distancing away. Ironic, she ponders through her ordeal as they determinedly disable her, casting away my own feminity as a woman to be strong, yet I lost in the hands of such chemical.

She shunned the world with her fading consciousness. That was until she heard the surprised screams and grunts around her.

"Oi, honey!" Tsukuyo's open eye widened. Gintoki continuously threw the antiaphrodisiac drugs with his trustworthy wooden sword. Meanwhile, Hinowa gracefully passed the packs of white substances to the silver perm from a safe range. "If I'm gonna make something smokin' hot, someone gotta light it up first, right?"

Tsukuyo threw a kunai, inning two T-Zoms away from Hinowa and Gintoki. "What are ya saying? These packs have little effect to them. If ya only-"

"You still got yer pipe," For a moment, purple met red, and an electrifying force shot through the other. "Let's spark some fireworks, honey!"

"Don't call me that!" After pinning a kunai to both a T-Zom's clothes and to Gintoki's head, Tsukuyo ushered Hinowa back to the safe room. "How bothersome. But if you insist, there's nothing else left to do. Shall we, darling?"

With a shared smile and the box, both of them made their way to their final destination. "Wait, why does that sound like a death fla-"