Author's Note: If you've read the original Number Thirty-Seven installments, you might remember that there was a real life number thirty-seven in my life (a hockey player), who I loosely based the stories on. Fun fact, my dad and I collected the real life number thirty-seven's various jerseys throughout his career, but my favorites were his college jerseys. Over the years, my dad has sold them. Sad, right? At least Yuna still has her jersey, which plays a big part in this chapter. Enjoy!
CHAPTER SIX:
The Jersey Retirement
Yuna has changed her outfit three times, switching from a casual red dress with thick black tights to a button down shirt with jeans, to a crew-neck sweatshirt. By the time she's pulling on a black turtleneck sweater she knows this is a mistake.
If she was going to this game "as friends" she wouldn't care so much about what she's wearing.
With a heavy sigh, she drops onto her childhood bed, which creaks under her weight. She rubs at her temples, careful not to mess her styled hair up or frizz it out. "I have to cancel," she says out loud to the empty room.
She had brunch this morning with Rikku and while she mentioned Gippal and the girls reminisced about their college days a bit, which did include some mention of Tidus, Yuna did not tell Rikku that she was going to the jersey retirement. She couldn't bear the thought of Rikku wondering what caused her to do a one-eighty in such a short time or Rikku's knowing look.
Because Rikku would know that Yuna she still has feelings for Tidus.
"This is emotional cheating," Yuna says out loud to her empty room, her fingers massaging circles over her eyebrows. "You have to cancel."
But the thought of Tidus going to his jersey retirement all alone breaks her heart. Sure, maybe he cheated on her with Dona. He ended up married to her, though, so their relationship must have meant something to him. Was it possible that Yuna had been upset about nothing all these years?
"He broke your heart," she reminds herself. "He tore it out of your chest and shredded it to a million pieces. And now you want to tempt fate and go out with him again? When you have a perfectly lovely boyfriend?" The next bit she thinks, but doesn't say out loud. A perfectly safe boyfriend.
A boyfriend who's away more often than he's home.
Not to mention the grappling she's been doing all day about what Rikku said about Baralai profiting off of the Al Bhed, perpetuating negative stereotypes. More harm than good.
Her perfect boyfriend doesn't seem so perfect after all.
Yuna finally settles on a pair of black jeans, white sneakers, and a white sweater paired with a jean jacket. Totally casual. She'd put a baseball cap on, too, if she had one, like she's just out running errands.
When she does her entire makeup routine instead of going for something simpler, she sighs.
"I have to tell Baralai."
And stop talking to myself.
Yuna picks up her phone, takes a deep breath, and calls Baralai.
She paces in the bathroom as it rings, her eyes closed, knowing full well she'll probably get voice mail. In fact, she's so convinced she'll be leaving him an awkward, nervous message asking him to call her back that when he answers, she jumps.
"H-Hey!" She greets, her voice going up ten octaves. "I'm not bothering you, am I?"
"You caught me at a good time, actually. My guide is taking me to a small Al Bhed town in the mountains."
"You're at Mt. Gagazet?"
"Yep."
Wow. He's had time to fly from the deserts of Bikanel to Mt. Gagazet but yet he doesn't have time to stop at her dad's retirement party or ask her how it went. Yuna tries not to think about it.
She squeezes her phone. "Hey. I have to tell you something."
"Sure. What's up?"
"Um. I just thought you should know that I'm going to a Bevelle University blitzball game tonight. I'm, um, I'm going to with Tidus."
There's a pause. A little over ten years ago Yuna was using Baralai for his blitzball tickets so she could see Tidus. She grips her phone tighter. What was she thinking, agreeing to go with Tidus?
In fact, she's about to tell Baralai forget it, she'll cancel, but he speaks first.
"Yeah, whatever."
Whatever?
"Have fun," he continues.
Have fun?
Her grip on her phone loosens.
"Don't you—" she starts, about to ask him if he's bothered at all that she's going to a game with a guy she once left Baralai for, but he cuts her off.
"Hey, I gotta go. We're at our spot. Talk soon. Bye!"
The phone clicks before she can say anything more.
Yuna stares at her phone, the Home Screen a picture of one of Baralai's photographs, a sunset over KiIlika Island, from the last vacation they took together, which was over three years ago. She knows it's not good to want your boyfriend to be jealous, but couldn't he have shown any emotion? Does he really not care that she's going with Tidus?
Her phone buzzes with a text and her throat tightens. It's from Tidus.
"Here!"
"Well," Yuna says as she slides her phone into her pocket, "it's now or never."
She heads back to her room to scoop up her cross-body bag and spots Tidus's jersey still crumpled in the "to-toss" box. When she tugged it out of her closet and dumped it there, she never could have imagined she'd have the opportunity to return it to Tidus. His college jersey retirement night seems like the right chance.
Full circle.
A perfect goodbye.
She scoops it up and heads out.
A shiny SUV sits in her driveway and Tidus is busy scrolling through his phone. The fact that his attention isn't on her makes her heart drop with disappointment, and she has to order herself to get a grip. She made it abundantly clear that she was going with him as a friend. So she can't be all weird when he acts how she requested.
"Hey," she says, crawling in and it's then that he looks up from his phone, wearing a smile that slowly fades as he takes her in.
"Wow, you look great," he says, the words causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand and her stomach to turn to jelly. Then, he leans across the center console and pulls her into his arms, that familiar scent crashing into her, his arms soft as they wrap around her. His hair smells a bit fruity, which causes her to tense as she wonders if he's using Lenne's shampoo.
"Thanks," she says as they part, knowing darn well that she's blushing.
Tidus nods to the jersey cradled in her arms.
"What's that?"'
"Oh! Look what I found in my closet here!" She does her best to unfold it, letting the wrinkled jersey fall out.
"Oh wow, no way!" He reaches for it, his arm brushing against hers as he smooths it out, taking it in. "Ha, look at my signature. You know it's different now? I changed it up when I got to Zanarkand."
"Oh. I didn't know that." She looks at the swooping "T" that she's traced no less than a hundred times. "I like this signature."
"It took too long so I had to change it. My hand got too cramped." He puts his car into reverse and begins backing out of her driveway. "Are you wearing it to the game?"
"Huh? Oh, no. No. I actually brought it because I thought you might like it back." She holds it out to him like an offering. "Here you go. All yours."
Tidus presses his lips together and then shakes his head. "I think you should wear it."
"What? But I've never worn it! Remember when you were in college people would swarm around me trying to buy it from me and yell at me, saying it's a collector's item."
A smile tugs on Tidus's lips. "Yeah. Wow, I'd forgotten about that."
"So, yeah, I don't exactly wear it."
"You should, though. Tonight." He pouts. "Please?"
She rolls her eyes, but there's a blaze of heat in her stomach. "Fine."
It's a short drive to Bevelle U—which is the main reason Tidus lived so close to Yuna, the proximity to the arena—and Tidus pulls into the players' parking lot. Yuna watches as he exchanges a complicated looking handshake with the parking attendant, who's apparently been here since Tidus's college days judging by how well they seem to know each other.
"Good luck tonight!" The parking attendant calls out and Tidus honks and waves out the window.
"Wow, this is bringing back so many memories," Tidus says with a chuckle as he parks.
Yuna looks at the stadium out the window, a familiar feeling in her chest. Yesterday at the Bevelle Brutes game she'd been thinking of the magic she used to feel, the excitement mixed with anticipation.
And now, sitting here next to Tidus, in his warm car outside of this arena, there's an inkling of that magic deep in the depths of her heart.
"Yeah, it really is," she agrees.
They step out of the car and Tidus holds his arm out.
"What?" she asks.
"Your jacket."
"Oh, you were serious about me wearing the jersey?"
He nods, grinning. "Sure was."
"Okay. Fine." She does her best to hide a smile as she pulls her jacket off and hands it to Tidus. Her heart does something funny when she watches him toss it gently into the passenger seat of his car, like there's a piece of her in there now. Then, Tidus holds her purse for her, and she does her best to ignore the flutter in her chest at how boyfriend that is of him as she tugs the jersey over her head, careful not to mess up her hair.
Just like that, there's a piece of her in his car and there's a piece of him on her body. The jersey's a bit large and for a second she feels a bit embarrassed by how she must look, drowning in this massive jersey, but Tidus's smile widens and she knows the look in his eyes.
It's that same adoration she used to see when he looked at Dona.
She blushes and looks away, pretending she didn't notice.
"Ready?" He holds out his hand to her but this time Yuna walks ahead without letting him take hers, even though her fingers tingle with anticipation. Tidus doesn't say anything, just follows her before over-taking her to open the door for her.
She's never walked in this way—it's the players' entrance, and she pauses, unsure where she's supposed to go. Tidus gently pulls on her arm, nodding to the right with his head, and then releases her. She swallows down the desire to tell him that he has to stop touching her.
Because if he doesn't, she doesn't know what will happen.
Nothing good, that's for sure.
Yep. Tempting fate.
She follows him to the security table where he checks in.
"And this is my friend, Yuna," he says with a smile.
The middle-aged woman checking them in smiles and says, "Welcome, Yuna! Wow, your jersey!"
"Um, yeah, I actually won it in the jersey raffle Tidus's sophomore year."
"Really?"
"Yeah, she's a total super-fan," Tidus says, his tone in jest.
Yuna nudges him—old habits die hard—and says, "You wish."
And for a second, it's just the two of them, Tidus and Yuna. Yuna and Tidus.
The woman at the security counter has to clear her throat.
"Tidus, the recognition is going to happen before the game, after warmups. We'll raise your jersey up to the rafters and everything."
Yuna looks down at her jersey, like that's the jersey that'll be raised up to the rafters.
"A banner," Tidus says, his voice in her ear. "Not a jersey."
"No one will ever wear number thirty-seven for the Basilisks again," the woman says with a bright smile. "It will have been retired."
"A true honor," Tidus says, although his tone seems a bit bland.
"A true honor indeed," Yuna agrees.
"Great, so we're just going to have you two over here." The woman gestures to a seating area by where the players head to the pool.
"Shall we?" Tidus asks, leading Yuna over.
The music from the stadium is louder over here, the players in the pool for warm-ups. They're playing Luca, Tidus's old rival from his Bevelle U days.
"I can't believe you still have that jersey, honestly," Tidus says as he paces by the entrance to the sphere. "Figured you would have burned it or something."
Yuna laughs. "Yeah, if I'd had it with me in Zanarkand, I probably would have."
Tidus smiles, but it's only a sliver. It fades quickly and he tucks his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He rocks back on his heels and says, "So what's he like? Your boyfriend?"
"Oh, uh, well… you've met him, actually."
Tidus raises an eyebrow. "I have?"
"Yeah. Baralai. That guy I was with when we first met. I think you literally interrupted one of our dates once."
She expects that to get a smile out of Tidus. Nineteen-year-old Tidus was pretty proud of himself, flirting with her openly in front of the guy she was with. But now, at thirty, Tidus doesn't even crack a hint of a smile. Instead, he looks down at his shoes.
"Oh," he finally says.
"That's all?" Yuna crosses her arms, looking past Tidus and out to the sphere. She used to love watching warm-ups. She loved seeing the intensity in Tidus's eyes as he ran through his opening drills, did his stretches.
"I guess I thought he was a dud."
She digs her nails into her elbows. "He was. But he went to grad school in Zanarkand and it was an eye-opening experience for him. He dropped out and went to art school. He's a photographer now. A photo-journalist, actually. He's really…" Her words drop off. "Talented."
"Cool," Tidus says, his voice a bit gruff.
Yuna glances at him. He's walked closer to the sphere now, peering out. A tingle runs down her spine. She had wanted Baralai to act at least a little jealous that she was out with Tidus right now. But she hadn't expected Tidus to seem jealous that she was with Baralai.
Of course he's jealous, she tells herself. It's Tidus. He always wants what he can't have.
She squeezes her arms tighter around herself. Whatever spark was between them when they were checking in at the security counter is gone, and left in its place is complicated emotions and a heavy coldness.
Her brain runs as she tries to think of something to say, but before she can settle on anything, a female voice rings through the arena.
"Tidus?"
Both Yuna and Tidus spin around as a tall brunette comes walking around the corner. She's wearing a black pantsuit, a lanyard bouncing as she walks.
"No way," Tidus says, his previous sullen expression softening. "Elma? What the hell!" He brightens up and playfully runs over to her, lifting her up and spinning her around.
Yuna's chest tightens as the memory hits. Elma played on the women's blitzball team—with Lenne—and she was super close with Tidus. He claimed they might have slept together but he was too drunk to know for sure.
So gross. Yuna spins back around, pretending she's too invested in the warm-ups to have noticed Elma.
"I'm an assistant coach for the University of Luca!" she's saying. "When I heard it was your jersey retirement, I was hoping we'd get to chat!"
"How did I not know you were coaching for Luca? Although, what the hell, they were our biggest rivals!"
"Not anymore," Elma laughs. "We're going to kick Bevelle's ass tonight."
"Oh, hey," Tidus says, and suddenly he's tugging gently on Yuna's arm. "Yuna, have you ever met Elma?"
Yuna faces her, knowing she should be polite. Besides, whatever happened back in college is long buried in the past. "I don't know if we ever met," Yuna manages.
"Hi, I'm Elma!" Elma reaches out to shake Yuna's hand. "It's so nice to meet you!"
"Same." Yuna has to smile in hopes Elma can't tell she's lying. Even though it's stupid. Sure, Yuna felt extremely intimidated by this girl ten years ago when she thought her boyfriend might be more into Elma than her. But now Tidus isn't her boyfriend.
"Lenne couldn't make it?" Elma asks, and Yuna tenses.
"Nah, she's in Zanarkand. I'm sure she'll be sad to have missed you."
Elma's smile falters. "Ehhh, she kind of did her own thing after graduation. She never plays in our alumni matches, even though we always send her an invite. It'd be a big get, after all, if we could have Spira's most famous pop star at our charity games!"
"Oh, really?" Tidus looks surprised, his eyebrows pushed together. "I'll talk to her about it. She should go. It's probably a schedule conflict or something."
"Maybe," Elma says with a shrug. She smiles at Yuna then, and reaches out, giving the jersey a slight tug. "Love the jersey. What a blast from the past."
"I know, right?" Yuna says, feeling a bit awkward.
"Hey, it was good to see you." Elma's eyes are back on Tidus, her smile wide. "I gotta get to the locker room. Warm-up's gonna be over soon. Great to see you. Next time you're in Luca, I'd love to introduce you to my wife!"
"Yeah, for sure." Tidus gives her a hug and she nods to Yuna. Yuna nods back.
"Didn't you say you might have slept with her?" Yuna asks in a low whisper once Elma's gone.
"Elma? Oh, shit, I did say that, didn't I." Tidus slaps his forehead and lets out a groan. "Yevon, why was I such a dick?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Elma's gay. Clearly. But I…" He sighs. "Look, Yuna. I might have, erm, I might have kind of lied a bit about my escapades. Or, well, my 'sexcapades.' I mean, like, I did have girls flocking me, you know that, but I… I didn't…"
"Wait. You lied to me about being a man-whore? Tidus, why would you do that?"
"Because that's what I thought blitzball players were and I… I wasn't so I felt like a loser, I guess?"
Yuna shakes her head and turns back around. The sphere is empty now.
"That might have changed things," she says after a long moment of silence.
Tidus doesn't say anything. He just stands quietly at her side.
"Tidus, you're up," the woman at the security desk says, and sure enough, the Basilisks' PA announcer comes walking towards them, a broad smile across his face. He reaches to shake Tidus's hands and Tidus bounces back, his posture straightening in an instant.
"This is a huge honor," the PA announcer says, his grip still tight on Tidus's hand. "You're only the third player in Basilisks history to have their jersey number retired!"
"It is a huge honor," Tidus agrees. Then, he looks over his shoulder. "Come out with me?" He asks Yuna.
"Oh, I can just stay here…"
"Ah, come on out! Everyone will want to see that jersey again!" The PA announcer encourages.
"Are you sure?" Yuna asks, her question directed at Tidus.
His eyes go soft. "I'd love for you to be at my side for this."
And how in Spira is she supposed to say no to that?
So Yuna nods and she follows them out onto he platform that's been set up for the ceremony. The crowd erupts and Yuna stumbles backwards, surprised by how huge the stadium looks from this angle. She's never been at sphere level before, seeing the stands and the fans from the perspective of a blitzball player.
The crowd erupts into applause and Tidus waves to his left and to his right, his teeth so perfect and white as he smiles. Yuna trails a bit behind him, the jersey on her back feeling heavy. She looks into a million phones capturing her standing here and an awkward heat creeps into her face.
Tidus looks behind at her, his smile so wonderful and he gently pulls her closer.
"Today, we are absolutely honored to retire the number thirty-seven, last worn by Tidus, who still holds the record for points in a Basilisks jersey!"
The crowd screams.
"He's a three-time national championship winner with the Zanarkand Abes!"
More cheering, although some people boo. Tidus chuckles.
"And now, he becomes the third player to have his jersey number retired!"
And just like that, a royal blue banner lifts up to the rafters of the building, the number thirty-seven in bright, metallic gold, Tidus's name prominently written out above it. Yuna's breath hitches and her heart hurts a bit.
Never again will a college girl get caught up with a number thirty-seven at this school again.
"You okay?" Tidus asks, softly.
"Yeah," Yuna says, blinking away sudden tears as she watches the banner rise up, up, up. "This is really special, Tidus. I'm glad I get to experience it with you." She means it. And this time, Yuna reaches for his hand. He smiles and gives hers a squeeze.
And just like that, it's over. Tidus and Yuna drop each other's hands to applaud once the banner has reached the top of the rafters, and then they leave the sphere. From there they're ushered off to a suite not far from Baralai's old box seats. Yuna considers sending him a picture of his empty seats but thinks better of it. He's probably busy, anyway.
Tidus immediately gets swarmed by a bunch of different people—old coaches, old teammates, old team staff. Yuna takes a seat by herself and watches the game, or at least tries to. Instead she's sucked back to ten years ago, when she'd come to these games to watch Tidus play. She eyes the student section, which isn't nearly as full now as it was back when Tidus was playing. Back then, she'd get to the games so early with Rikku in tow so they could get the best seats. The building hasn't changed much and if Yuna closes her eyes, it's almost like she's back.
"Popcorn?"
Yuna looks up just as Tidus slides into the seat next to her, a box of popcorn in front of her face, the smell of butter and salt flooding her senses.
"Sure," she says, more because she likes the idea of sharing popcorn with Tidus than because she actually wants some. "Thanks."
They sit in silence, watching the game, which has been mostly back and forth play.
"It's kind of weird watching with you," Yuna admits. "Usually you're out playing, not sitting next to me."
"Yeah," Tidus says, his eyes on the sphere. "It's been a while since I was in a game, though. Hopefully I get to play this weekend."
"I hope so, too," Yuna says.
More silence. More back and forth game play.
Tidus suddenly shifts, his left elbow brushing against the jersey Yuna's still wearing, and he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a phone. Yuna watches from the corner of her eye as his eyes widen and the color drains from his face. He stares at something displayed on his phone, and Yuna's own gaze drops to his screen before she can stop herself.
It's a text from Lenne.
A picture.
Yuna and Tidus, hand-in-hand, Yuna wearing that jersey, her eyes on Tidus, a smile on her face, on the platform during the ceremony.
Lenne sends a text below the photo.
"What the hell is this?"
And then, Yuna's phone starts buzzing.
Tidus turns to face Yuna, his mouth agape.
"I think we've got a problem," he says.