I knoooow I am late but here is the thing, college started again and when I had figured out my schedule there, I got COVID (I had a VERY mild case, I'm okay) and then I decided to start a whole booktube channel bc I aparently don't have enough to do already hahaha
Anyway, here is a longer chapter as a peace offering.
****Trigger warnings in the notes at the end!
The thing about the acts one takes in anger, is that they almost always cause a staggering amount of self-consciousness once said anger is gone. At the time, forcing Tommy Shelby's gun out of his holster and demanding his trust by force, seemed like the best and only way to make her point. The next day however, it felt like an unnecessary display of pride.
Now, every time Tommy addressed her, it was all she could do to force her body temperature to something below the warm degrees of shame. It wasn't that he looked at her differently, per se. It was that now, she knew how the smell of sodium bicarb was strong enough to overpower the nicotine in his breath. You know, the kind of information that should absolutely not flood her mind in relation to anyone in the past. But it did. Nobody showed that in the movies.
At least it had worked, she comforted herself. Of course, Tommy Shelby would not be told what to do, so no parties were thrown. Apparently, the millions of rooms in his mansion were not made for such things; he never did explain what all that space was actually for though. In any case, the head of the Peaky Blinders had spent the 2 weeks subsequent to their… theatrical interaction, knee deep in tea meetings and club luncheons with the politicians around. By Friday, the man looked exhausted.
Not that Tommy Shelby ever looked anything but exhausted. The defiant way he held himself reminded her of the Greek Myth of Atlas.
"You are welcome to join me at the races Mr. Blake. I'm sure Lizzie would love to meet your family." Tommy said while escorted the middle aged men out the door of his office.
"I'm sure I will, Mr. Shelby. See you Sunday." Mr. Blake shook Tommy's hand as he said his goodbyes and left.
"Would you like me to schedule a terrible illness to take place on Sunday sir?" Anna said in her best impression of a subservient secretary.
"Fuck you." He replied, but the slightest movement of the left side of his mouth betrayed amusement. She smirked back.
"Papa!" a childish voice pierced the room and stopped Tommy from going back into his office. The change in him was immediate.
Before she blinked twice, Tommy was kneeling with arms stretched wide beside him. Charles, running in the unsteady way children often do, reached the embrace of his father who immediately got up and twirled the little boy in the air.
Behind his first born came Lizzie Stark holding Tommy's daughter in her arms, a proud smile on her face. Anna had no evidence that their relationship was unilateral from her studies. Paper clippings can never properly describe a relationship, and even if she knew that they would not end up together - or at least they didn't before she came to mess up the timeline- it really was hard to not root for the couple a little bit when she saw the tender way Tommy kissed his children in the forehead and his… lover? on the cheek. It made her wish for something similar someday. A limited slice of happiness was happiness still.
"Papa, can we ride the horsies today? Pleaseeee?" George's voice was the last thing he heard as Tommy led them out of the building. Not even a goodbye thrown her way.
Slowly, Anna began the tedious job of getting the office ready to close before the weekend. It wasn't a lengthy process by any means, she could have it done in 10 minutes, maybe even less, but she had been going through the familiar routine slower and slower every day for a while now. Loneliness was a funny thing. It's not like she got a lot of social interaction out of Tommy Shelby everyday, the man's definition of a conversation was barely considered a tweet by her estimation. It was, however, something.
Inevitably, the work was done and she left the office with the suggestion of sunlight still hovering somewhere beyond the smog covered Birmingham. Being from another time could make things in the past seem unreal in so many ways. The tired looks on the faces of child workers, the torn dresses of overworked prostitutes and the ever present smoke were very real to her eyes, but somehow always ended up being interpreted in her brain as some ethereal artistic photograph. She could almost see everything in black and white.
There was a colorful spot amid the neighborhood though. The Garrison attracted her with its near magnetic pulse, like it did everyone else. A place where people could see their own successful Peaky Blinders in the flesh. It was hard to fault the young man that lined up before Arthur Shelby trying to get a job that could kill them if the Blinder's home was the only semblance of happiness they ever got. She would want to be a Blinder too.
As usual, Arthur Shelby held court around the bar, toasting to everything, in honor of everyone in that way that kept the Shelby's as a part of the community despite their higher status. It was a smart political move and it was also a very natural Arthur thing to do. Damn, Tommy Shelby was smart.
"Anna!" His powerful voice made every eye turn towards her for a second. "John, get the woman a drink!" Unsurprisingly he was already wasted but, come to think of it, had she ever seen sober Arthur?
Anna walked through the nicotine scented smoke to Arthur's side, leaned against the polished counter and allowed him to kiss her cheek.
"What will it be ma'am?" John, the young bartender asked.
"Whatever it is you would never serve Arthur, John." Anna answered directing a mischievous grin towards the elder Shelby. Arthur barked a laugh as John fetched her a glass of cider.
"And how is my little brother treating you, Anna?" Arthur dismissed most of his fans with a drunken gesture and turned completely towards her on his bench. "Not making you work too hard is he?"
"Not as much as you, apparently. I haven't seen you in here for almost 2 weeks." Not the most subtle way to try gathering information from the man, but Arthur wasn't known for his conversational awareness so she felt pretty safe.
"Ah, yeah. Well Tommy had me working on some trouble in London lately ya know?" He said in his usual booming voice, but then lowered it to an almost whisper to add, "There was a man selling children."
"Ah yes, busy work." Anna said and slowly sipped her cider. He was doing what?
"That stupid fucking psycho never knew what hit him!" Arthur almost shouted.
"Shut up Arthur!" The polished voice of Polly Gray interrupted them. "That is family business" She continued looking at Anna like she had just crawled out of the sewers.
"Come on Pol, Anna is…"
The Shelby matriarch cut him off with a look, took en elegant drag on her cigarette and said:
"Find a boy to walk Ms. Strauss home Arthur. Tommy wants her protected."
Arthur hesitated, but obeyed.
Anna had enough information anyway. Mourning the missed night of simple company already she downed what was left of her cider and got down from her bar stool.
"Good night Polly." She tried to move past the woman but Polly's slender, cold hand had locked around her bicep, keeping her in place.
"You could make this so much easier on yourself if you just told me the truth girl." Polly whispered in her ear. Anna looked up and faced the veiled concern in Polly's eyes.
"And how long after that you'll start convincing Mr. Shelby to distrust me because I broke my word?" She tried to make her eyes convey honesty instead of defiance. "I'm sorry Polly." She said, ripping her arm away from the older woman's grip.
Anna had enough information anyway. Mourning the missed night of simple company already she downed what was left of her cider and got down from her bar stool.
"Good night Polly" She tried to move past the woman but Polly's slender, cold had locked around her bicep, keeping her in place.
"You could make this so much easier on yourself if you just told me the truth girl." Polly whispered in her ear. Anna looked up and faced the veiled concern in Polly's eyes.
"And how long after that you'll start convincing Mr. Shelby to distrust me because I broke my word?" She tried to make her eyes convey honesty instead of defiance.
"I'm sorry Polly." She said, ripping her arm away from the older woman's grip.
It was too bad really. Polly hadn't been anything but professional in their last 3 business luncheons. Sure, she wasn't kind either, but Anna thought they had at least reached an understanding… Oh well, that was tomorrow's problem. She was tired, and even more aware of the loneliness inside, after her brief moments of social interaction.
Marcus, a young man of maybe 15, already carried a gun and seemed way too happy about it as he walked her home. Loyal boy that he was, he refused a cup of tea when they reached her, Shelby approved, apartment and with a polite goodbye vanished back into the night. It was just as well, she consoled herself, Anna could make a killer cup of coffee in her sleep, but tea was an art that escaped her entirely.
Moving past the phone and into the kitchen, Anna considered what to make for dinner. Her grandma's pasta recipe maybe… wait. The phone?
She walked back a few paces and, sure enough, there it was, on her living room wall, a very big and very new telephone with a note attached to it.
From: Tommy Shelby
Was all it said. With his home phone number written at the bottom. He wanted her to be always available, now, did he? Very well.
She dialed the number.
"Shelby residence" his maid answered in the third ring.
"Hello Martha. Is Mr. Shelby home?" She asked in a sweet voice. The woman was still half convinced the telephone was the devil's work apparently. "Tell him it's his secretary calling. I wanna thank him for the wonderful gift" her voice grated a tiny bit. She hoped Martha didn't notice.
"A gift? Oh how wonderful! I'll let him know." Martha said, all too happy to have an excuse to let go of the device.
"I hope you know that I'm not paying the bill for this." She said as soon as his breathing could be heard through the line. He waited a beat to respond.
"I value my privacy Anna. I thought you might feel the same way."
"You value ownership and control Tommy. Why the hell are you thinking about getting me a phone when you have bigger and more important connections to be focusing on?! You see me everyday!" Her voice was way less composed than she would like to admit, but she was already on edge.
"A phone is it?" Was that a smile in his voice? "I would have it removed, but you seem to already be quite enamored with the thing" It was definitely a fucking smile.
"That's just what we call teleph… That is so not the point! I'm sure I don't need to remind you that the vote is next month Tommy. You do not have the time to be diverging your attention to getting me telephones or to be using Arthur as executioner in London!" Silence on the other side of the line.
"My connections are not a problem." He finally said. Very calm.
"Yes, and pigs are prone to flight!" Anna snapped back.
He said nothing.
"I don't even… this was a stupid idea!" She sighed, closing her eyes and resting her head in the cool wooden door beside the phone.
"I have it under control Anna."
"I'm… too tired for this. Goodnight Tommy." Anna said in a low voice. "And I am still not paying for this bill!" Energy came back to her for the last sentence and she slammed the receiver back into its hook.
Anna made a conscious effort to put him out of his mind for the remainder of the evening. She cleaned her bedroom, made herself some delicious pasta, closed the windows and allowed herself a few minutes with her earphones on, listening to some 21st century music.
She was very careful to maintain the device in good condition. It had all the data she had brought to aid her mission, all her research on the Blinders and some comfort things, like pictures of family, friends and some good music. She had a solar charger that she left glued to the back of her bedroom door on Sunday mornings, when the streets were empty and no one was likely to see the futuristic device. People didn't burn women for being witches anymore, but she didn't wanna raise any questions.
Today she deserved some familiar comforting things. Even if they made her heart ache with the loss of home. It was worth the risk.
She started to drift off when the clues finally clicked in her mind. Tommy's connections were going well. And Arthur has some undisclosed assignments in London? Her stomach went cold.
Oh the stupid reckless asshole!
Anna spent her Saturday deliberately keeping Tommy out of her mind. She cooked, she cleaned and she went out for the week's groceries. Post WWI Birmingham was not the best place to get fresh produce, but she did her best. And anyway, if there is one thing that lonely people appreciate is long errands to take their mind off of the emptiness.
The morning after that she was ready. She got dressed in a pretty dark blue dress, she could only afford because of her little black book of bets (which, really, wasn't so much a black book as it was a password protected file in her phone), she packed a few extra thousand and took off in the direction of the races.
The extra money and a little flirting got her a spot in the rich people side of the arena. Anna chose a table by the window in the back of a restaurant and watched as Tommy negotiated something with old Mr. Blake two tables over. It was easy to identify his negotiating face because it was always the most calm one in the room. She drank her tea and watched the meeting take place before her.
It ended when a very dignified, silver haired woman, Mrs. Blake, came to the table to greet Tommy and her husband. The atmosphere around them suddenly turned polite, though still a little stiff by the looks of the strain in Tommy's eyes. She really needed to teach that man the art of small talk. The aristocratic couple got up and moved off, saying their goodbyes. Another well dressed man came in his direction, but she was faster.
"Your cover would work better if you brought your wife to these things." She said, and continued, whispering. "I could tell something very illegal was happening here from a mile away."
Tommy looked at her. No expression on his face. Not even the mild disinterest he tended to wear when trying to unsettle an opponent.
"She is not my wife" He leaned back. "And you are interfering with business." He reached for a cigarette.
"You are interfering with business!" She paused to take a deep breath and leaned back herself. "You know how stupid this is, which is why Arthur is the only one you told and even he doubts the wiseness of this decisions. Otherwise he wouldn't have told Polly about it too! How are you supposed to help me if you are hanged?"
"Are you trying to tell me the man selling children from Grace's charity deserved to live?" He lit the cigarette, the lighter's flame flickering out of rhythm with the breeze inside the restaurant.
"Are you telling me they are all child traffickers?" She whispered. "It's a wonder there are any children still around!" Anna populated her voice with a good layer of sarcasm.
Silence fell between them. Tense and familiar, it allowed both of them to really listen to the noise around them. A new race was about to begin and the narrators were riling the crowd up. Waves of excited cheer enveloped the quiet chatter inside the room.
"And last, owned by the newest Member of Parliament, Grace's Secret!" The crowd cheered and Tommy was standing.
"Tommy…"
A gunshot echoed through the arena. Tommy's lit cigarette fell on the table, and he was gone. Anna smothered the flame with the napkin in her lap, dropped a few bills on the table and ran after him through the back door. He was going to physically run from her questions now?
She glimpsed the tail of his coat turning the corner to the staff hallway and hastened her pace a bit, his name on her lips. Turning the corner she found Tommy, leaning against the wall, fighting a useless fight with the knotted tie around his neck. Small, wheezing breaths heaving his entire chest up and down at an unhealthy speed.
"Oh Fuck." Anna halted, eyes wide, kind of wanting to lean against the wall herself. "Tommy?" She said instead, and looked around them.
Tommy didn't respond, which was no surprise. He was always around the pasty side of white, but she had never thought of snow when looking at his completion before. His hands were shaking around the buttons of his collar, and the trembling got worse when the roars of victory shook the walls again.
Thousands of contradictory first aid instructions raided her brain. What to do first? Lay him down? Take his pulse? Oh wait… yes… take him somewhere safe.
Anna started to try all the doors in that hallway. A smelly bathroom, tree locked doors, and one, blissfully unlocked supply room. She went back to Tommy. His teeth grinding harder by the second.
"Tommy, it's Anna." She murmured. You shouldn't shout at a panicking person right? She tried to get into his eye line. He didn't seem to see her though.
"Can I touch you?" She extended her opened palm between them.
Five ragged breaths between them before she continued. "I just want to get you in a more private place," She pointed to the opened door. "Is that okay?"
More silence.
But he did nod his head once.
Anna breathed out hard, and very slowly moved her hand to his. It was icy.
When his attitude didn't change for a good minute of them touching, she gave his arm a little tug. Murmuring sweet, meaningless, nothings to comfort herself. Whatever was the proper order for actual first aid, she did know that panicking herself was not an option.
Close to the door, she stopped them and asked to borrow his lighter a few times. Tommy nodded somewhere along the third time and Anna reached in his left side pocket to get it. His extremities were cold, but Tommy was sweating under his jacket. It took her a couple of tries to light the lamp inside the room one handed, but God only knew if he would allow her to touch him again if Anna let him go and she could hear waiters talking in the hallway they came from.
Finally, the lamp was lit and she managed to lower both of them down, leaning against the shelves. She closed the door with her foot.
Anna was hoping that by that point, Tommy's breathing would be better, but that wasn't the case. His shaking was getting slower which she would take as a win, except for the fact that he seemed to be a little less responsive too. What the fuck would she do if he passed out here? Were ambulances even a reliable thing yet?
Okay, first things first, - her very basic medical training kicked in - is he having a heart attack? I mean, it was possible, with the lifestyle he led, but she also knew that Tommy Shelby was supposed to die somewhere in his 60's from an overdose which made it not very likely.
Even so…
"Tommy…" She sat cross legged in front of him. He didn't say anything, but after a while his eyes widened a little looking at her. "Tommy, does your left arm hurt?" She said in the most soothing version of a commanding voice she could conjure. It took a few tries but he shook his head.
"Okay, that is good." She rubbed little circles with her thumb in the back of his hand.
"I think you're having a panic attack Tommy. I know it feels awful, but it will pass okay? I promise." That had his eyes very focused on her, very fast.
"I know, hard to believe, but it will! Start by breathing with me." She took a deep breath to demonstrate. "We'll breathe in for 5 seconds, hold it for 5 seconds and breathe out for 5 okay? Follow my lead." It was dark and she couldn't see his face very well in the gloom of the oil lamp by the door so Anna, on impulse, raised their clasped hands to her chest.
"Okay, come on, you can do it! In…" She counted to five "And out…"
At first, all Tommy produced back to her were hiccups. But she convinced herself that they were deeper hiccups every time and kept breathing, because what else was there?
At some point, who knows when Tommy was breathing deep enough for her to venture a question. Ms. Johnson always said that simple questions were the best at this point (Panic attacks were quite common with time travel), but not simple enough that they could be answered with yes or no.
"Good, I'm not so scared that you will pass out now. Which is good. You wouldn't want that here, now would you? By the way, where are we Tommy?"
No answer.
"Come on dude, help me out here." She squeezed his hand a little, still pressed to her chest.
"You know where" He whispered when she was about to ask again.
"Fine, tell me something I don't know then." She said before thinking, a genuine smile on her lips.
.
He kept silent for almost a full 10 minutes after that. No matter what she said, he wouldn't budge. So she looked at her wrist watch and prayed.
When he finally did move, it was to divorce his hand of hers and, with trembling fingers, light a cigarette
"Lizzie won't come to the races with me anymore." He took a drag and coughed a little. Anna took the cigarette out of his, now, slightly warmer hand. "I don't blame her." Tommy leaned his head back and Anna could have sworn that she saw watery eyes before they were beyond the fading light's domain.
****Trigger warnings: Panic attacks; mentions of child trafficking