Chapter 6

It was around 8am when Danny was awoken by a repetitive beeping. His eyes opened and blinked slowly. His body was heavy, protesting against any movement due to the utter fatigue he felt. His arms were up and resting on the bed, his head set down on a folded blanket. His first vision was of the infusion pump, beside the bed, that was flashing to the beat of the sound.

He pressed his arms down against the bed with force, pushing up what seemed to feel like his entire body weight to lift his head up. Steve was on the bed; his head had fallen to the side slightly and he was asleep.

"Excuse me…" he called out softly to a fresh-faced nurse.

She looked up from a pile of notes before walking over.

"Do you know if he has been awake?"

"Not since I came on shift an hour ago."

He nodded as he brushed his hand gently up and down Steve's forearm. His attention was then turned to a raised voice just outside the door. Through the small window he could see Dr Menendez standing, her expression bristled, clearly the recipient of the pointed conversation. Danny squeezed Steve's arm. "I'll be back." He whispered.

Captain Anderson, a greying man in his late 50's, stood in his military fatigues and towering over Menendez. "I have no choice Kaylah… you are no longer Commander McGarrett's caregiver and I'll be submitting my report to the board, sighting insubordination amongst other things. And need I remind you this is not the first, second or even third time you've done this."

"Sir… with all due respect, I did what I thought was best for my patient."

"To hell with the security risk you placed us in?" He growled back.

"Excuse me…" Danny said as he walked out of the door and in between the standoff. "I don't mean to butt in…" he lied. "But did you just say that Doctor Menendez is no longer looking after Steve?"

"You must be Detective Williams?" The man replied.

"Yeah… I'm the security risk." Danny clapped back.

"Detective, please try and understand this from our point of view. It is nothing against you." Anderson replied as he shuffled on his feet nervously. "What Doctor Menendez authorized, last night, letting you near the patient was against our protocols."

"And yet it got the results." He growled, impatiently.

"I don't deny that. But I'm afraid her actions come with consequences…" Anderson fired back. "I would hope, you as a police officer, would understand that."

Danny pushed his hands in his pockets and looked between the pair. "I want her to continue treating Steve…"

"Detective…" he started to protest.

"When I got here last night, I had almost no expectations on Steve getting the kind of help that he needed… I was skeptical. Then Doctor Menendez came along, and she changed my mind." Danny shrugged. "Think of the toughest patient you've ever encountered and times it by ten… that's what we have in there. But I think she has what it takes to get through to him, she also has my trust… and believe me, that will go a long way with getting the results needed here."

Menendez stood frozen as she studied the Captain's expression. His face etched with poorly hidden frustration.

"Sir… you know that I have delt with cases much like Commander McGarrett's… and you know I have a high result rate." She paused. "At the end of the day, the patient's ultimate outcome is all we should care about… regardless of the methods we use to get there."

Anderson sighed and thinned his lips. "Okay…" he whispered. "But one more misstep and he'll be your last patient here. You understand?"

"Understood." Menendez nodded.

The captain dropped his shoulders with defeat before walking away.

Danny smirked smugly.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Insubordination?" He grinned.

"What can I say? I'm apparently a rebel." She laughed softly.

"No. I like it. Danny nodded. "This is helpful…"

She frowned. "Helpful, how?"

"Steve's favorite past time is insubordination. So, I now know that you and he are going to get along great."

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Steve had been the first person to enter the run down and abandoned building in downtown Honolulu. His semi-automatic drawn and pressed against his cheek as he was followed by his team. Inside, a maze of corridors leading into small rooms that needed to be cleared. The sun filtered through some of the cracked windows and the dust circling through the air caused a fine mist.

He stepped through, quietly and with precision, going deeper and deeper into the building. At first, he could hear the voices of his people, but one by one they seemed to mute until he realized there seemed to be no one near.

He frowned, turning his head slightly, eager to know why no one had swept through behind him. At last, he reached the final room, clearing it before turning down the hallway. Lowering his weapon to hang over his chest. "Danny?" he called out. "Lou?"

There was nothing but the sound of his own footsteps and the hum of traffic in the distance.

"Danny… you find anything?" He called out again, glancing in each and every room as he passed, finding nothing.

As he reached the main doors he stepped out into the warm Hawaiian afternoon, the direct sunlight blinding him momentarily. As his eyes refocused, he could see his truck, but it wasn't where he had left it. The doors were open, again not something he remembered doing.

His brow deepened as he moved closer, the outlines of people inside. "Hey…" he called out, angry that it was probably some bums trying to hotwire his vehicle. Suddenly he recognized the occupants. Danny was in the driver's seat, Lou next to him. Junior, Tani and Quinn in the back. All with their eyes closed and gun shots to their heads.

Steve's breath left him, unable to fill his lungs back up with much needed air. "Danny?" He called out frantically. He tried to get closer to the car but couldn't for some reason. "Danny!"

Danny's eyes opened; his head turned carelessly towards McGarrett. His eyes glazed but burning through his best friend with bitter disappointment. "You were supposed to look out for us…" he snarled breathlessly. "You were supposed to stay with us."

"Danny… just hold on buddy… I'm going to get you some help." He said as he reached for his cell phone.

"Sorry Commander…" he heard a familiar voice call out behind him. "We can't let you do that."

He turned. Chin and Kono stood behind him in HPD uniforms, pawing at his arms.

He shook his head. "Chin… what are you talking about? They need my help."

"It's too late Steve…" Kono shook her head. "You failed them… you failed all of us." She started to cough, blood staining her lips.

Steve winced with confusion before noticing a large hole in both of their dark blue shirts. His eyes widened as he looked around his surroundings. There were bodies on the ground which he hadn't noticed up until now. Adam, Nahele, Kamekona, Flipper, Max, Noelani and Catherine. "No…" he shouted.

"I asked you how many more people would have to die, Steve…" he heard from another familiar voice. "Remember?"

"Joe?"

"You did this, son. The minute you walked into their lives, you put them all in danger." He paused. "If there is one thing you were never good at… it was protecting the ones you loved." Joe pushed callously before pointing back towards the doorway.

Steve turned cautiously to see more bodies up against the wall. The realization forced him to collapse to his knees and scream out. Mary was clutching Joanie in her arms and Grace had hold of Charlie, all completely lifeless.

"You killed them, Steve… you killed all of us." Joe whispered.

"Steve?" Danny called out as Steve's body became rigid, clearly fighting something but what Danny didn't know. "Steve… it's me… hey…"

Steve's eyes darted open and he sounded a loud gasp.

"Hey…" Danny called out. "It's okay…"

McGarrett didn't focus on anyone or anything, but his body relaxed and sank back into the bed. Danny was immediately concerned that perhaps his best friend had slipped back into his catatonic state.

"Talk to me, Steve…"

Steve mumbled under his breath.

"I don't know what you're trying to say…"

Steve took a moment, collecting himself. "I'm sorry…" he whispered, but forcefully.

"Sorry for what?" Danny answered. "You don't got nothing to be sorry about."

"I can't stay here, Danny… I can't stay here. I can't put you in danger any more." He grabbed at the lines in his arms and pulled violently on them, ripping them out without care or regard of what he was doing. His body shaking with complete terror, his eyes wide with panic and the expression on his face was haunting. Millions of thoughts infiltrating his mind, none of which he could reason with or adequately express. His eyes locked on Danny's.

Danny shook his head and grabbed his hands in an attempt to control Steve's new found flight instinct from causing any more damage to himself or anyone else. "Steve… stop. You got to stop." He insisted before Doctor Menendez appeared in the corner of his eye. "Doc?"

She simply nodded to a nurse, obviously a silent instruction before leaning down next to her patient. "Commander… It's Doctor Menendez. Listen to me… your heartrate is way too high… and your oxygen is going down because you are panicking… okay?" she said clearly. "We're going to give you something to calm you down… alright?" she took hold of a loaded syringe and plunged it into his arm.

It only took a short amount of time for Steve to become listless, his attempt to escape became superfluous. Sweat had beaded on his face, his eyes became glassy though still held on Danny until they became too heavy and closed.

"Let's put some oxygen on him until his obs are back to normal, and I need the IV put back in." Menendez called out to the nurses. She then looked to Danny. "We need to start dealing with his mental state as soon as possible…" she nodded. "He's going to be out for a little while… why don't we have that talk?"

Danny sighed as he closed his eyes.

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Danny sank into the soft chair, behind a table, in a doctor's office. At this stage he wasn't too sure what was fueling him but he knew the exhaustion was kicking in. He sighed, leaning his elbows against the desk, and cupping his face inside his hands.

A few moments later Menendez appeared. She closed the door to the room softly and walked over, placing a tall cup of coffee next to Danny then sitting down opposite with a file.

Danny looked up, noticing the welcomed drink. "Thank you…"

"You're welcome." She said softly. "Call it payback for coming to my rescue with Captain Anderson. It meant a lot."

His lips thinned as he grabbed the cup. "Don't thank me yet… I could have made things worse."

"I'm due out of here next month… so…" she shrugged with a carefree smile before straightening. "Okay, Danny…" she started. "I have some of Steve's file here… it's flagged information… incidents, throughout a soldier's career, that have been marked as potential contributors for things like PTSD or other medical issues. What's in this file is extensive… but it's also the kind of details and experiences we expected for a SEAL."

Danny looked down to the manila folder which seemed to be a good inch thick.

"I have incident reports, case notes and debriefs. Operational information is redacted but that doesn't affect my ability to understand what Steve has been through whilst in the Navy." She paused. "What I don't have a lot of information on, is a before and after… and I am hoping you can fill in some of those gaps."

Danny swallowed the lump in his throat. He had to keep telling himself that this wasn't a betrayal of confidence. This was to give Steve the help he had been needing for far too long now. "Um…" he closed his eyes for a moment before looking back to her. "When he was fifteen… his mom was thought to have died in a car bomb… leaving, Steve his sister and his dad. Not long after, Steve's dad sent them both back to the mainland. He went to a military school and then into Naval Intel."

Menendez listened carefully as she jotted down notes.

"He uhh…" Danny hesitated. "He came back to O'ahu because his father was murdered. He was on the phone to John when he was shot… heard it all."

The doctor looked up with shock.

"An opportunity came up for him to stay here and start Five 0… he created a team… a family… and between trying to solve his father's death we worked homicides, kidnappings, terror related issues." He nodded. "Then he found out that his mother was alive… and she just caused more harm than good. I mean… it's not bad enough that the woman lied to them for a huge chunk of their lives, she continued to mess with him."

She frowned.

"His longtime girlfriend, who he was going to propose too, took off once and then again for the second time… Then he lost his CO, who was like a father to him… but who had a hand to play in Steve's trust issues… and finally… his mom was killed… for real this time… both died in his arms."

Menendez widened her eyes.

Danny couldn't help but grin. "Yeah. Messed up doesn't even begin to describe it. You still want this case?"

"I mean…" she shook her head. "It's no wonder he's in the state he's in."

"So after his mom actually died… he decided that he wanted to leave the island. He thought he going somewhere else would help him forget it all. Girlfriend comes back… they take off into the sunset… Steve thinks this is the start of something new. A couple of months in… he started to go off the rails… drinking… agitated… sometimes out of control. He ultimately called off the relationship. His ex calls me… I end up going over… morning after I arrive the wave hits…. And here we are."

She nodded as she scribbled down the notes. "And what about physical trauma?"

Danny coughed a laugh. "I don't know too much about his SEAL days but I'm willing to bet the last 10 years can challenge anything in that file in regard to physical trauma… I mean, the guy has been shot… multiple times… he nearly died and needed half my liver. He's been hit by cars, been in car wrecks, fallen down cliffs, tortured on several occasions, stabbed, building dropped on him… and me… plane crashes, helicopter crashes, radiation poisoning."

The doctors jaw dropped slightly.

"But I can guarantee you, none of this is about what's happened to him… it's all to do with this deep-rooted fear of not being able to protect or save everyone. If he succeeds, he quietly moves on like it is nothing… but if he fails… he takes it hard and he just can not forgive himself."

Menendez nodded gently. "And the outburst just before. You know what that's about?"

Danny sighed. "I mean… I can't be sure, but just before he left, we had this case that was personal to him… I got busted up… Steve talked about how he thought, the people we were after, used me to get to him. In his mind, putting distance between us was the only thing left, that he could do, to keep us safe."

"You don't believe that though?" She answered.

"Not for one second." Danny replied strongly. "The danger comes with the job we do."

She exhaled a loud and long sigh. "Okay… we still need to fully evaluate him, but given what you've told me and what I've read… it's without a doubt he has serious PTSD. That needs to be addressed as a matter of urgency."

Danny nodded. Slowly he was becoming more and more comfortable with the diagnosis.

"It's imperative that Steve be receptive to everything we do…"

"I understand that… but he's not great at receptiveness."

"Then we have to do everything we can to make it happen… because without this help… right now… Steve will deteriorate and left untreated he is at a high risk of an outcome that will be irreversible."

"Okay…" Danny whispered, though she did not say anything specific he knew the consequences she was referring to, just by her expression and the tone of her voice.

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It was early the next day when Danny walked into the floor waiting room. A sense of relief washed over him as he saw four familiar faces turn. Tani, Junior, Lou and Quinn hopped to their feet. Each giving him a tight hug.

"Thank you for coming down here." He whispered as they looked at him with sympathy. He clearly exhausted and the physical scars of what they had been through were still visible on his bare skin.

"No. You got it." Lou responded.

Danny sat down in one of the chairs and sighed as the rest followed him.

"Danny, you need to sleep." Quinn said with concern.

"Yeah, I'm working on it."

"How's Steve?" Junior asked.

"He's okay… the antibiotics they have been giving him has stopped any infection so far… his lungs are clear of water and he was moved out of ICU last night."

"But…" Junior whispered.

Danny cleared his throat. He wasn't going to go into details but they, of all people, deserved to know the basics. "He's had some issues since they found him out there… it's highlighted a few things. They diagnosed him with PTSD, which should come as no surprise to any of us." He paused. "What happened in Thailand seems to have triggered some underlying and unresolved problems…"

Quinn thinned her lips with sympathy. It was something she had been exposed to quite a bit in her military career, especially being an MP.

"What are they going to do about it?" Tani asked.

"Intense Cognitive Behavioral Therapy." Danny exhaled a deep breath. "The way the doctor here is treating it is like they would a debrief…" he said softly. "He talks about the impactful events in his life. That gives his mind a chance to process them, which he has never done before. Once he verbalizes what he has been through, they might focus on specific events further."

"Yeah, this kind of therapy is being used a lot in the Military. Especially for people like Steve who have had multiple traumas. It's like one giant download." Quinn nodded.

"Then what?" Junior asked.

"They teach him the tools to deal with traumatic stress… after that he may need some more ongoing therapy, he may need medication. They just have to wait and see."

"You just got to get Steve to agree to this." Lou replied.

"Actually… he already has." Danny responded. Their looks of shock said it all. "I know, right? I didn't have to fight him on this at all."

"Well, that's a good sign." Junior said, encouragingly.

Danny nodded. "I think he's accepted that what he's been doing hasn't worked. He knows he needs to do something. I think at this stage he is willing to give anything a try."

"What about you?" Tani asked. "Danny, you can't keep staying here."

"I'm going home." Danny replied. "Steve's settled enough now, he's happy for me to leave. But his one condition to doing all this, was that I be with him during therapy. They have agreed… so I'll be back in the morning." He nodded before thinning his eyes. "I just thought that you guys should know what's going on."

They all offered him a sympathetic smile.

"You need us… you call us." Junior nodded, patting Danny on the shoulder.

"Yeah… anything." Tani whispered. "That goes for both of you."

"Thank you…" Danny said softly.

"How you getting home?" Lou asked.

Danny rubbed his eyes. "I was going to get a cab."

"No you won't. Imma drive you myself." He answered. "Finish the journey I started, with you, a couple of nights ago."

"Thanks Lou… for everything." Danny nodded with sincerity.