*BPOV*
If running in my human body had been like trying to start my old Chevy up on a cold winter day, then running in my vampire body, conversely, was like driving Edward's Aston Martin around a freshly paved racetrack.
My body was built for performance. I didn't get winded, my muscles never cramped, and my feet were sure and steady beneath me. The speed was exhilarating. Addicting, even. The faster I ran, the faster I wanted to run. I knew without question that, like Edward, I'd never be content to drive in the slow lane again.
I don't know how Edward didn't laugh at me when I'd been so afraid of him running into trees. That was giving the trees entirely too much credit. I felt sure that if I ran fast enough, I could barrel right through a tree trunk like it was Platform 9 ¾. (Probably not recommended with a human passenger, though, I mused.)
Running with Edward, shooting across the surface of the earth like twin comets, was like nothing I could have ever imagined, not even having experienced it riding on his back as a human.
Edward was never freer than when he ran. He never smiled wider or laughed louder. His infectious peels of boyish laughter trailed behind him like exhaust fumes as I labored to keep up.
Running with all the Cullens, however, was something entirely different. Such a heady thing. We were as powerful and unstoppable as eight monster trucks roaring side-by-side down an eight-lane highway but with the grace and fluidity of a pod of dolphins cutting soundlessly through placid water.
The nice thing about Alaska was that out of its 365 million acres, only 160,000 of those acres were claimed by humans. The rest was untouched wilderness that we could hunt freely without fear of detection or the temptation of human blood.
That was still the largest unknown for me. What would it feel like to be compelled by raw instinct to hunt humans? To murder? What if I wasn't strong enough to fight that instinct? Would Edward be disappointed in me if I had a weak moment? Would the rest of them?
"Bella, you doin' ok?" Jasper asked with concern from a short distance up ahead, picking up on my sudden anxiety.
*EPOV*
Since it would take a substantial amount of wildlife to satisfy all eight of us, in the interest of discretion and sustainability, we ran due west for the craggy, inhospitable (to humans) mountain ranges bordering British Columbia.
Crossing over icefields and frozen tundra, we were fast approaching our target area of the foothills overlooking Tatsamenie Lake.
The lake was at the bottom of a canyon sandwiched between a mountain range and a forest, and the largest body of water for miles around. The prime location would be rich with wildlife, and devoid of human life. The perfect place for a hunting party.
The run had been a quiet one, as usual, for everyone else but me.
It's just so wonderful to be all together like this. And just look at the smile on Edward…
Is it bear season yet? I'm so fucking sick of ungulates.
The only thing that looks better than Emmett running from the front is Emmett running from behind. RAWR.
I wonder how to get the Tlingit tribe to trust me when they have such distrust of "white" medicine? Medicine doesn't get much whiter than me...
Would it kill Xtratuf boots to make something with a heel?
Anxiety. Apprehension. Dread. Fear.
Bella's face flickered through Jasper's thoughts, who sent a wave of calm her way. "Bella, you doin' ok?" He reflexively surveyed our surroundings for signs of trouble but found none.
My eyes (as well as everyone else's) flashed to my wife, whose face gave nothing away. I frowned. Knowing how Bella felt without knowing why she felt that way was often more frustrating than not having any intel at all.
"Peachy," she said in a clipped tone, clearly not appreciating being 'put on blast,' as the kids were apt to saying these days.
We slowed to a stop at what would be our rendezvous point, a ridge between the narrow canyon and the treeline. Using a sweeping motion, Bella used her arm to brush the snow off the top of a boulder.
She inadvertently sheared off the top six inches of the boulder, leaving it flat as a tabletop. She resignedly shrugged and muttered "That works," and then swung her pack over her shoulder onto the granite table. I laid my rucksack next to hers.
"What are we hunting?" Bella asked, the look on her face made it clear she wasn't interested in talking about anything else.
"Whatever you find," I answered cheerfully. "There's plenty of moose, elk, wolves, lynx. A little lower you'll find black-tailed deer, and if you're really unlucky, mountain goat."
"Mountain goat is the worst!" Emmett lamented. "Little bastards spit," he made a revolted face.
"Well maybe if you didn't play with your food…" An exasperated Rose interjected, sounding very much like a mother reprimanding a small child.
Emmett looked appalled. "Now where's the fun in that?" Then looking her appreciatively up and down, he added with a grin, "You should try it sometime, baby! I bet the beasties wouldn't even fight back if you were the one trying to ride them."
Without missing a beat, Rose quipped, "You never do."
Carlisle cleared his throat. "On that note, before we all lose our appetites," Carlisle teased good-naturedly, "I declare this hunt officially started. Whoever gets back here first-"
"It'll be Jasper and me," Alice said with certainty. "And yes, we'll start the fire."
"Very good, thank you," Carlisle clapped his hands together, keeping them clasped in front of his navy blue running jacket, dusted with snow. "Nobody deserves to let loose more than you all do, after working so tirelessly to restrain yourselves year in and year out. So happy hunting everyone! Especially you two," Carlisle winked in my and Bella's direction.
And with that, the other six pairs of eyes gathered around unfocused as they listened for nearby sounds of life. One by one, with lethal determination, they vanished into the trees, silent to anyone or anything without supernatural aural faculties.
"You can ask me now," Bella murmured once we were alone. "I know you want to," she said with a hard-edged laugh.
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. Bella must've been ravenous, but, the angel of mercy that was, she delayed her own relief to put me out of my overthinking misery.
I took her hands, anxiously knotted together, and held them between my own. "What were you thinking about just now? When Jasper picked up on you being anxious and afraid?"
"I was wondering what it would feel like to be compelled to hunt a human. I was... worried that I won't be strong enough to stop myself," she averted her eyes, looking down at our clasped hands.
"And scared that you and everyone else will be disappointed, or think less of me if I can't control myself."
Using one of my hands to keep hold of hers, I used the other to tilt her chin up to look at me.
"Bella, I need you to listen to me, because this is important," I said sternly. "I will do everything in my power to make sure that doesn't happen. But there is nothing you could do that would make me think less than of you. Nothing.
"If you slaughtered an entire village," I expounded, causing her to wince, "I'd bury the bodies and then take you home and draw you a bath and tell you how sorry I was that you had a bad day.
"Because that's all it would be to me, a bad day. And the same goes for the rest of our family. So don't let that ever be a fear of yours, alright?"
Bella nodded. "Ok. But do you think when we get back, you and Emmett and Jasper can take me to the other side of the island and hold me down while I smell the humans?... Not knowing what it will feel like is making me go a little crazy. I just want to know so I can be prepared."
"I think that's a great idea," I smiled encouragingly. "We'll run it by the others when we get back to camp, alright?"
Picking up her pack, I slid the straps over my shoulders. Bella watched me with a quizzical expression.
"Do you remember what you looked like after your last hunt? Because I do," I grinned. "You might want your clothes before we come back here."
Her face lit up in understanding. "What would I do without you?" she smiled.
Leaning forward and kissing Bella softly on the lips I said, "You'll never have to find out." Kissing her once more, I sighed and pulled away. "Let's hunt. You must be hurting," I added, noting her compulsive swallowing.
Slipping around behind her, I cupped my hands around the tops of her slender arms. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, the way I'd shown her before. "How do I know if someone else is hunting the same thing I am?"
"Good question! You'll know because its heart will stop beating before you get there," I chuckled.
"That's gotta be aggravating," she surmised, keeping her eyes closed.
"It's like what I imagine it would feel like if someone stole your parking space," I mused.
Bella snorted. "Of course you wouldn't know what that's like," she said, shaking her head a little. Refocusing, Bella dialed in on the sounds of hooves crunching through the snow coming from the east. Elk, by the sound of it.
Just as Bella took off in a sprint toward the herd, a bull elk began to bugle. It started as a low bellow and crescendoed in a high-pitched trumpet that echoed back and forth between the mountains.
I made sure not to disrupt Bella's hunt this time, staying back a safe distance. I caught sight of her just in time for the six-point bull to let out a warning grunt before lowering his head and running at her in a full charge.
Bella stood her ground, watching the animal advance with a smooth, calculating expression. Once the massive antlers were within her grasp, she lunged forward and grabbed the impressive rack on one side, flinging the 700-pound beast up into the air and onto his side with a crunch of bone and a whoosh of air that was knocked from his lungs.
With a feral snarl, she threw herself at the bull's flank and wrapped her arms in an iron grip around his neck restraining his head from thrashing side to side. She then unerringly sank her teeth into the spot on its throat where the appealing sound of hot, pulsing blood throbbed the loudest.
The wind changed directions, and I caught the musky scent of another elk, a challenging male, and the probable reason for this bull's bugling. I set after him and spied it standing under the protective branches of a towering fir just a couple hundred yards away from where I'd left Bella.
Wanting to get back to Bella, I didn't dawdle. I made the easy seventy-five-foot jump catching a thick branch of the fir tree the elk was standing under. Releasing the branch, I landed on the balls of my feet inches away from the animal's odorous, muddy hide.
He spooked, but his flight instincts weren't nearly fast enough. By the time he had so much as tensed, I'd already sunk my teeth into him and began to drink as he bleated in a vain protest. Seconds later, the fight left his body with a choked gurgle, and his weak heartbeat stuttered to a stop.
When I straightened up, I became aware of Bella watching me intently from where she stood between the willowy trunks of a grouping of young pines. Her eyes were bright with excitement and tinged with desire.
Bella's clothing had fared a little better than they had against the wolf, but she was covered in elk hair and there were a few splattered drops of blood down the front of her white Northface jacket.
Dashing to her side, I slipped my fingers inside the front pockets of her jacket and pulled her close for a kiss. I could taste the metallic sweetness of animal blood on her lips.
"Look at you with barely a hair out of place. Getting better all the time, Mrs. Cullen!" I praised.
Bella looked down at herself, appraising the state of her clothing. "Oh, shoot!" she muttered, noticing the bloodstains.
"Hydrogen peroxide will take that right out," I assured her, tapping a red splotch.
Bella looked up at me with an amused look of surprise. "What?!" I queried with put-on defensiveness. "I may not know the right way to load a dishwasher, but I happen to know my way around a bloodstain, thankyouverymuch."
Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I asked "Have you had enough? Or shall we keep going? Hunting parties are just like human holidays. It's the time to glut yourself," I chuckled.
"I feel a little guilty because I kinda want to find another wolf. It tasted better than the elk," she wrinkled her nose slightly in the same adorable way she would recoil at pineapple on her pizza.
I nodded in understanding. "Carnivores definitely taste better. It's why we get so amped up about big game. Let's go see if we can find you one, then!"
Saw some fresh scat on the east bank of the river right around where it forks, Alice thought helpfully as soon as I'd made a plan.
Unsure if she was close enough to hear my voice, I visualized myself thanking her when I saw her again.
You're welcome!
*BPOV*
Somehow Edward had known to head back west toward the river, and there we followed the fresh scent of wet dog to where we found a small pack hunting a mother moose and her calf.
With a jerk of my head, I nodded with intent toward a gray wolf, hackles raised and baring its teeth at the fearful moose and her baby, surrounded on all sides by snarling predators.
Edward nodded and pointed to the larger, tawny alpha. I may not have had the stomach to go after the reddish-brown canine, but Edward had no such compunctions.
He then mouthed, "On three," and held up three fingers and silently counted down. After the third count, we blitzed through the trees, tackling the two wolves closest to us.
Spooked, the other wolves scattered, yipping and howling in fright as the moose cow looked from Edward to me as if she couldn't believe her luck. Calf in tow, she then trotted off through the trees in the opposite direction as the wolves had fled.
I drank from the gray wolf with long, hard pulls, listening and watching as the heartbeat and the light in his eyes grew fainter. My eyes flashed to Edward; he was already watching me.
Making eye contact with Edward as we synchronously engaged in such a primal act was the most intimate, electrifying thing I'd ever felt without him actually having to touch me. And if the darkened look in his golden eyes was any indication, I'd say he was feeling it, too.
Like a drained Capri Sun, the more I drank, the harder I had to suck to get out the last few drops. And with a few more pulls, the wolf's emptied veins collapsed, giving no more.
Already finished, Edward jumped nimbly to his feet and pulled the wolf's limp body away from mine by the scruff of its neck.
He unceremoniously dumped the remains into a heap with the other larger wolf a few feet away, then extended a hand to help me off the ground.
"Excellent teamwork, Mrs. Cullen. That was…" he paused, searching for the right word.
"Hot," I finished for him.
"So hot," Edward agreed emphatically, kissing me hard on the mouth.
With his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, Edward pulled his lips away but left his forehead pressed against mine with his eyes closed.
His delicious breath whirled in my face as he offered, "If you're still thirsty, we can go round up Quil and Embry. They couldn't have gone far," he laughed. It was a deep, dark sound that rumbled out of his chest.
I gave him a little smack on the chest with the back of my hand, "Be nice," I insisted through my deeply offended giggles. He rubbed his smarting chest and mouthed "ow" but the smile never faded from his perfect face.
"Let me just bury the mongrels and we can head back to camp if you're ready."
I nodded. "Ok, but let me help. You buried them last time," I said.
Edward shook his head. "I'm going to bury them every time if I can possibly help it. You gave up your whole life to be this with me. The very least I could do is make an unpleasant part of your new existence a little less unpleasant."
I jutted my lip out, touched. "In a morbid way...that's kind of really sweet."
"Chivalry isn't dead, even if I am," Edward grinned and kissed the back of my hand.
"Very smooth, Mr. Cullen. How long have you been waiting to drop that line?" I teased.
His face went blank, the picture of pure guilelessness. Then under his breath, he confessed, "Awhile," and flashed his crooked smile.
When we got back up to the ridge, we were the last ones to take our seats around the roaring fire.
I looked around the circle of faces, all basking in the afterglow of a successful hunt and the actual glow of the fire.
Orange and red tongues of flame crackled and danced before us. When a burning log broke, it sent a shower of sparks shooting up into the sky like fireflies on a warm summer night.
The sky was inky black. And here in the mountains, in the complete absence of light pollution and with my enhanced vision, I was completely entranced by the night sky, overcrowded with brilliant, twinkling stars.
Edward leaned toward me and put his lips to my ear, murmuring "You have never looked more beautiful than right now, gazing up at the stars, lit up by the firelight." I felt his lips press lightly into the hollow beneath my ear before he pulled away.
I heard Esme's breath hitch in her throat, overcome with satisfaction like she often was whenever her youngest oldest son showed me the slightest bit of affection.
Edward made a face like he'd just remembered something and began rifling through the rucksack that he'd retrieved from the flattened boulder.
He pulled out what appeared to be a small pair of fancy wireless speakers that he set up on either side of the circle before returning to my side and pulling me back into his arms.
"This should be interesting," I mused out loud. "What kind of music does a family of vampires with over a thousand years shared between you listen to at a hunting party?"
"A little bit of everything," Edward replied, hitting play on an iPod. "It's a shared playlist that everyone has contributed to over the years. You'll have to add your favorite tracks to the mix, too!" he encouraged, giving me a little squeeze.
The Duke Ellington & Ella Fitzgerald version of "Don't Mean a Thing" started playing softly in the background, allowing for conversation.
"Oh, this is my jam! Turn it up!" Alice squealed and jumped to her feet, tugging a startled Jasper up to a stand. Stepping outside the fire circle, unperturbed by the snow, they burst into a frolicking swing dance performance complete with flips, turns, and jazz hands.
I watched them dancing so effortlessly under the moonlight, Jasper swinging Alice up into the air like a rag doll as she laughed delightedly.
"We can learn to do that, too, you know," Edward said lowly, watching me watch them.
"Oh, I can't d-" I started to say, a lifelong habit. But then I met Edward's gaze. His eyebrows were raised, an amused smile on his face as he waited patiently for it to sink in. With my new body, my new flawless coordination, there was nothing physical I couldn't do. Not anymore.
I smiled widely, feeling...well...immortal. "I'd like that." Edward's answering smile was even broader.
"How was your hunt, Bella?" Carlisle asked with a warm smile as Alice and Jasper's dance wound down and they returned to their spot cuddled by the fire.
I opened my mouth to speak but Edward excitedly answered for me, proudly boasting, "Amazing. She was amazing, Carlisle! You should have seen her. She was fierce!"
And then turning to me, he marveled," I wish I could have taken a video of you standing your ground against a charging bull elk and then body-slamming the 700-pound beast over your head by the antler like he was a styrofoam Christmas decoration."
"Badass," Emmett nodded his head approvingly.
Vampirism hadn't made me any better at accepting compliments. I stared bashfully at the snow beneath me, digging my toes into the powder. "That wasn't even the best part!" I interjected. "We saved a moose and her baby from certain death. We're basically heroes."
"Wait, you saved a moose? Did Edward not tell you how hunting works?" Emmett guffawed.
"Oh, he did. But the wolves that were attacking the moose seemed like the tastier choice," I smirked.
"Hell yeah, little sis!" Emmett pumped an enormous fist in the air. "That's how it's done. Didn't know you had it in you.
"I bet that gave Edward a real thrill. He's going to be the reason wolves get put back on the endangered species list," Emmett chuckled.
*EPOV*
Bella twisted in my arms so that she could look accusingly at me.
"Merely doing my part to help the black-tailed deer population," I said, barely able to keep a straight face.
"Which are classified as 'of least concern,'" Jasper supplied with a wide grin, always one to pile one.
I leveled my brothers with a withering glare. After having a turn at being 'put on blast,' I could much more clearly understand Bella's earlier ire.
"Well, hell if I can blame him," Bella rushed to my defense. "They're a helluva lot tastier than elk," Bella said, making a face and earning a hearty laugh from the whole family.
I worried that our laughter might set Bella off again, but she seemed to understand we were laughing with her and not at her and remained calm and relaxed in my arms.
"Alright you party animals, it's time for your favorite New Year's tradition," Alice trilled to a chorus of groans. "Let's go around the circle and say what our New Year's resolutions are. I'll start!
"In 2007, I'm going to work harder to be content with what I already have."
"That's kind of cheating when there's nowhere to go shopping and Amazon won't deliver here," I chuckled, causing Alice to stick her tongue out at me.
"Okay then, smart ass, what's your resolution?"
Gazing at Bella, I said the first thing that came to mind. "My resolution for 2007 is to only make new mistakes."
"Good one," Bella smiled and nodded with approval. "I'm keeping it pretty simple. My resolution for the new year is to not kill anybody," she said dryly to a round of titters.
"That is an admirable goal, Bella," Carlisle lauded, smiling fondly. "One we all share. My resolution for the coming year is to be more present with my family.
"I've spent centuries dedicating myself to medicine and helping people. And it pains me to admit that current technology has made my expertise somewhat redundant. So I'm going to allow myself to step back and really enjoy my...paternity leave," Carlisle looked as if he'd be raising his glass toward Bella if he'd been holding one.
Bella smiled shyly, hiding her face behind the thick curtain of her hair. I leaned forward, burying my nose in her glossy auburn locks and breathing her in, kissing the top of her head. Seeing the familiar human habit felt like falling in love with her all over again.
It was like a domino effect. From the south side of the circle, Jasper, overcome by the sudden depth of my emotions made a desperate whimpering sound. He then murmured "Ally," and poured all of his love and affection into the diminutive little pixie in his arms.
Alice's face was rapturous; beaming with love and warmth, which only intensified the amorous feelings Jasper was already exuding.
When Jasper felt something so intensely, it became difficult for him to manage the excesses, and sometimes it spilled over to unintentional targets, anybody within close enough range.
Emmett was usually the most susceptible because he spent the most time around Jasper and because he was already a very passionate person. With fresh animal blood coursing through his body acting as an aphrodisiac, Emmett was a goner.
Emmett was also not nearly as good at controlling his thoughts as the rest of my family tried to be. I tried to divert my focus away from the obscene plans he was making in his head with my sister.
But Alice couldn't help but see the future that pertained to her, and Emmett's graphic plans meant leaving her presence in order to worship his flaxen-haired goddess until the sun came up.
So now Jasper was picking up on Emmett's lust twice over through Emmett firsthand, and secondhand through Alice, affected (however involuntarily) by her vision.
I shook silently with laughter. Bella didn't know it yet but she was witnessing a 'sex frenzy' happening right before her eyes. She turned around to look at me curiously.
"Wait for it," I whispered, wondering whose dam would break first.
"Aw hell. Evenin' everyone," Jasper drawled, tipping his head. He picked up Alice, giggling delightedly in his arms, and ran south back up into the mountains.
"My New Year's resolution is to love this woman right here," Emmett nuzzled Rosalie, who tartily replied, "And mine is to let him."
To the tune of Bessie Smith's "I Need a Little Sugar in My Bowl," Emmett carried Rosalie off like a two-ton snowplow at warp speed.
Carlisle and Esme watched them leave and then turned their respective gazes back to Bella and me.
"Was it something I said?" Carlisle chuckled a little awkwardly. Hand to her chest, Esme incredulously declared "Not even two songs in! That's some kind of a record."
"No, it was me," Bella and I admitted simultaneously. And then we looked at each other in complete surprise and burst into laughter.
"I guess we'll be going now, too," I said a bit sheepishly. "Have a pleasant night, Carlisle. Esme," I nodded with respect to my parental figures, who looked between each other and us with amused bewilderment.
Leaving the iPod on the flattened granite slab with the speaker for them to enjoy the music, I retrieved both our packs, grabbed up my eager wife, and hauled ass north for the trees, leaving Carlise and Esme staring after us by the blazing fire.
"I thought they'd never leave," Carlisle muttered raspily into Esme's ear, intent on having her right there by the fire.
*A/N* Not a fade to black, just a commercial break! 😆 I just love and appreciate all of the feedback I've been getting. Y'all are giving me life through this pandemic!
And as an aside, I read every single review but tend not to reply on FF unless someone asks a direct question. I'm probably overthinking it, but it feels weird that a reply goes to your PMs. That seems oddly disproportionate, like replying to a text with a phone call.
Archive of Our Own enables wonderful comment threads, more like social media. And I reply to every single one of those comments. So if you want to nerd out about Twilight, or would prefer a response, subscribe to this fic on AO3. It's pretty much a better experience all around, IMO.
And just one last humble request to vote for She's My Blackberry Pie on twifanfictionrecs dot com. You can vote every day up through 4/30. Thank you in advance, it means the world to me! Til next time, lovelies!