Chapter 6: Zero (Looking for a way out)

I find it hard to say the things I want to say the most

Find a little bit of steady as I get close

Find a balance in the middle of the chaos

Send me low, send me high, send me never demigod

I remember walking in the cold of November

Hoping that I make it to the end of December

Twenty-seven years and the end of my mind, but

Holding to the thought of another time, but

Looking to the ways of the ones before me

Looking for the path of the young and lonely

I don't want to hear about what to do

I don't want to do it just to do it for you

Everyone was on high alert when the alarm started blaring at the Croft Manor. They gathered in the main room, awaiting for the incoming threat. The air buzzed with intensifying electrical charge, becoming stuffy. The stench of sulphur filled the room as a spot just in front of Sam and Mick started cracking. Boris and the butler stayed behind them, Ketch and other operatives to the side.

Suddenly, Lara and Dean were before them, both panting, covered in blood, bruised and battered. Lara had her arm around Dean's waist, holding him upright, just barely. They stumbled forward, Lara's free hand flying to Dean's chest to stop him from falling face first, and the action snapped Sam out of his daze, and he lurched forward, grabbed his brother and took his weight from Lara. Dean groaned, becoming a bit more conscious of his surroundings.

"What happened?!" Sam demanded while trying to drag Dean to the nearest couch, but Dean struggled, not wanting to go.

"No... No... Lena." he croaked, reaching back towards the girl. It was then that Sam noticed her, taking in they way she looked. Lara had her arms around her, as if she was trying to hold herself back, shaking and painting. Her chest were heaving as if she couldn't get enough air in her lungs despite the deep breaths, her eyes were red, blood shot and teary. When Dean reached for her, calling her Lena, she shook her head and took a step back, her eyes turning demon black before the color dispersed and she growled like a wild beast.

"No! No. No..." she said, and Dean broke off from Sam's embrace, stumbling towards her.

"Lena. Lena, wait..." he tried, but stopped when she let out another deep roar.

"No! You stay away! You fucking stay away!!!" she screamed, her accent without a trace of British. Dean obeyed her wishes and remained where he was, but still tried to get her to come, extending his hand towards her.

"Lena..."

Her eyes turned black again, her face morphing into something vicious and she stood up straight, flicked her wrist, sending them all flying into a nearest wall. All except Dean, who conveniently landed on Ketch.

"Too little, too late, Winchester. She is gone!" Lara, Lena, or whoever that was spoke, but growled and hissed, face morphing in pain. "No! No! I... No!" Lena screamed and doubled down, crying out and gasping for air. Dean rose on his wobbly feet and approached her again.

"Stay away, Dean, I fucking mean it!!! I can't... I can't..." Lena said, clearly struggling to maintain control, her humanity fighting the ever rising darkness she allowed consume her just so that they could get away.

"You won't hurt me." He said, tone low and mouth dry, and took another step closer.

"I know, for fuck's sake! You're fucking hurting me! Get the fuck away from me!!!" She cried out, the demon taking over for a split second to grin a bloody smile Dean's way before Lena took over again. "No, I have to, I gotta... No... No, I won't let you..." She said, screwing her eyes tight, stepping away from Dean, backing away as if he was the bad guy. Her eyes darted out, landing on a monstrosity of a carpet behind her and slowly moving back towards it. The demon inside her growled and roared and struggled to get out, but she kept her reins on him. "Just a little while longer... I am almost..." She said, and took enough control to fling herself to the stupid carpet.

There, she sighed in relief, giving everyone a small smile before passing out.

Hello, hello

Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero

Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel

Like I'm empty and there's nothing really real, real

I'm looking for a way out

"I am so sorry. But I... I have to do this, I can't... I can't go back up there... I am so sorry..."

...

"It's going to be alright, it'll heal. I'm so fucking sorry, I can't... I can't stop. I can't go back up there. I swear to God I don't want to do this to you, I am so sorry."

...

"Shhhh... What's your name? It'll be alright, you'll be alright... What's you name?... Lena? That's a nice name. I'm Dean. Shhhh, I know. I know. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

...

"Fuck! I can't... I... I am so sorry, Lena, so fucking sorry, but I have to... I can't go back on the rack, I can't..."

...

"Just hold on, okay? Hold on, please... I'll get you out of here, I'll get us both out, I swear. Please... Please, Lena... Please forgive me..."

...

"Lena? Lena?! Leeennnaaa?!!!!"

A high pitched scream shook the room, and slowly, unnaturally, Lena rose back to her feet, straining her neck and making it pop loudly. Her head rose up and when her eyes opened, they were as black as night. An unnerving smile spread across her face as she took in the room.

"Clever girl." was the first comment the demon made, looking down at the carpet with distaste. To the left, on the very edge of it, paint showed underneath, indicating there was a devil's trap under the damn thing.

"Doesn't matter. I'll get out one way or another."

"Lena..." Dean tried, taking a step closer. The demon scrunched up her nose, eyeing Dean with so much disgust and hatred it made him stop dead in his tracks.

"Oh, so you finally remember me, huh? Took you long enough."

"Lena, I..."

"Don't. Don't bother."

"Dean..." Sam tried, reached and set his hand on his brother's shoulder, but Dean just shrugged it of.

"No. No, I can't... This... This is my fault."

"Fuck yeah, it is." The demon spat out, shuffling her feel around the carpet, probably looking for weak spots.

"Lena, I'm so sorry."

"Getting a sense of deja vu here, Dean." She sneered back. "You gonna promise to save me this time too? Are you gonna ask me to try and hang on, and tell me we're gonna get out of this hell together every time you come to carve more into my heart?! Are you gonna tell me it'll all be alright, and then walk away again?!?! DON'T BOTHER! There is nothing left to save anymore, Dean." The demon spat back, smirking as she saw how her words were affecting Dean.

Even if he knew this was just the emotionless demon talking, it wasn't really Lena, his strong, brave Lena, he still let all her words get to him, because he thought he deserved it all. And the demon saw it too.

"You know, you were a skillful torturer Dean. You kept saying you're sorry, kept giving girl hope as you tore her apart, and fuck me if that wasn't even worse than having you laugh in my face like the others did. You do know there were others after you, right? You can imagine what they did to me, Dean? Or would you like me to paint you a picture?"

"Stop!" Sam tried, but to no avail. Lena completely ignored him, and just kept talking.

"They too carved me open, even more so than you would. They raped me, dozens of them at a time. They'd burn me, mark me, electrocute me, drown me. They would break every single bone in my body, Dean."

"But I never caved. I never gave up. I waited for you... I waited for years, for you to come and save me..." She said, pacing around the carpet. Mick and Ketch exchanged glances and Ketch disappeared for a few minutes, but nobody paid any mind.

"But I never came..." Dean said, his throat closing up on him, the words choking him and his tears drowning him.

"Oh, no. You came. You came alright. I just didn't know it wasn't really you. See, Alistair picked up where you left off, torturing me, and he was pissed it wasn't working. Until one day, when he disguised himself as you. He pulled me off the rack, kissed my sore wrists and guided me to what I thought was the exit. But we were just going in circles. And when we came back to the same room I was in before, I turned, scared and confused, and you... You were there, looking at me with those white demonic eyes, and you pushed me in and tied me back up..." Lena kept talking, spitting out every word without a trace of any pain or sorrow, but with plenty of malice. Dean's eyes were cast down on the ground, he seemed seconds away from falling apart.

"...And you started cutting again. You started cutting and kissing the fucking cuts and saying you were sorry and I could see you didn't mean it, Dean. I could see it in your eyes. And when you... when he..." For a split second something flashed in her eyes, some lingering emotion that wasn't supposed to be there.

"...When he kissed me, I could feel it wasn't you. I could tell. And I knew... Dean... I knew... You were never coming back for me."

Hello, hello

Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero

Let me show you what it's like to never feel, feel

Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real

I'm looking for a way out

"And I broke. I broke, Dean... I broke and I let the darkness in. I let it consume me." She whispered, he voice cracking, but it was all a show, anyone could see it. Anyone except Dean. With her last words spoken, with the implications of them, Dean finally crumbled to the ground, unable to hold himself.

Lena started to laugh so viciously, pleased she managed to get to him, to hurt him.

Looking to the ways of the ones before me

Looking for the path of the young and lonely

I don't want to hear about what to do, no

I don't want to do it just to do it for you

Hello, hello

Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero

Let me show you what it's like to always feel, feel

Like I'm empty and there's nothing really real, real

I'm looking for a way out

Hello, hello

Let me tell you what it's like to be a zero, zero

Let me show you what it's like to never feel, feel

Like I'm good enough for anything that's real, real

I'm looking for a way out

Suddenly, the ground started shaking along with Lena's laugher, as if she was feeding the earthquake, drawing her energy from Dean's defeat. He was on his knees, pale and shaking, and as much as Sam tried to bring him up on his knees, Dean still remained slumped.

The windows erupted, sending glass shards everywhere, the walls crumpled, debris flying everywhere.

"Look at you handy work, Dean!" Lena shouted out. "Look at what you helped create! Look at me, Dean!" she yelled and laughed harder as Dean shook his head, unable to lift his gaze. The ground shook even harder, splitting open, the crack reaching Lena, threatening to break the devil's trap.

Mick, Ketch and the others tried to tell her to stop, Sam kept shouting something and pulling Dean to stand up straight, but Dean wouldn't budge.

"So much for the Righteous man!" The crack almost reached Lena as her laughter echoed through the mansion, but it was those last words that snapped Dean out of his daze.

It was a label thrusted upon him by heaven, but it didn't make it any less true. He was the Righteous Man, and he needed to right yet another wrong.

"ENOUGH!!!" His voice boomed through the space like thunder, turning every other sound into silence, making everything stop to see it's glory.

Ketch somehow materialized next to him as he stood up, and thrusted three syringes in his hand, but Dean only had eyes for Lena, even though he tightened his grip on the blood in his hand.

"You are right. I allowed myself to forget about that part of my life, to forget about you. I was weak, a damn coward and I didn't want to go back, I was... scared to go back. But I am here now. I am here and I am not going anywhere this time." Dean said, every word one step closer to Lena. The demon seemed pissed, but frozen in time, as her deep rooted need to obey her master took over her body.

"And I am going to save you." He said, and shoved the three needles into her chest, immediately pressing the syringes and pumping her full of purified blood. Lena threw her head back and screamed, her voice filled with raw agony and despair before she crumpled down on the flood, not moving, not breathing, eyes wide open, lifeless, but no longer black.

Let me tell you 'bout it

Well let me tell you 'bout it

Maybe you're the same as me

Let me tell you 'bout it

Well let me tell you 'bout it

They say the truth will set you free

For weeks, Dean remained by her side, as Lena slept, all the while watching his purified blood getting pumped into her veins, knowing it still won't be enough to completely cure her, but hoping to at least bring her back the way she was when she came to them a few months back.

Sam showed him her file again, and as he ran his fingers across the initials L.A.R. across the cover, huffing as he figured where Lena got her name, he couldn't help but remember her story.

Lena Anderson Richards was only a ten year old girl when her father died of cancer and her mother sold her soul to a crossroads demon. But when he told her she would only get 10 years, her mother though it wasn't enough. So she had her own daughter agree to sell her soul for ten more years of her daddy's life. A decade later, hellhounds came and dragged her and her mother down to hell, leaving her father to live the next decade alone and committed, diagnosed for being delusional and demented, and probably guilty of killing his wife and child.

Lena was only twenty when Dean met her down in the pits, her soul shining so bright, without a trace of darkness. And she was so strong, so brave and it tore him apart to do that to her. he hated himself, he hated how weak he was, but she forgave him each and every time and repeated his words back to him. That it would be alright. They they would get out of there together. And in the end, he just left her there.

But no this time. He won't leave her this time.