OWCA had thrown Perry into a lot of strange situations before he left, but this one really has them all beat. Heck, this is even weirder than the original dimensional mess from a few years back (although with the way time has flown, it only feels like one year).
And he thought that was the weirdest thing he'd ever do.
Now, it's not entirely irrational for him to say that it's a very good thing the teacher crammed into the refrigerator time machine with him was a gymnast. There's a sentence he's pretty sure he's never heard before.
(Speaking of being crammed in a refrigerator time machine, Perry sorely hopes that whatever artifact they're trying to find isn't very big- anything larger than his old fedora is definitely not going to fit. If it's some sort of painting, or god forbid a whole statue, they're fucked.)
The light in the refrigerator goes on, signaling that they've arrived in the proper time. The fifteen-twenties, or more specifically, mid-summer (local calendars are rather unreliable, and there hadn't been a lot of time for research) in fifteen twenty-one at about three PM local time.
Perry pushes the door open, and they both fall out into the past in a tangled sprawl.
As they get up off the ground, brushing the dirt from their clothes, Perry looks around at their surroundings. It's a forest. A somewhat sparse forest, without a lot of undergrowth, which should be nice for travelling, since there don't seem to be any roads nearby. Perry doesn't know the types of the trees around them, but they sure are pretty with the afternoon sun shining through the leaves.
You have the artifact finder, right? He asks the teacher, who nods and holds up the little handheld device Doofenshmirtz gave them. Hopefully it doesn't run out of battery while they're out here- it's not like there are a lot of electrical outlets in the forest, let alone the fifteen twenties.
The teacher fiddles with the finder, smiling when it beeps. Looks like we have a bit of a hike ahead of us, he signs, showing Perry the screen.
Seventy miles, just to get to the artifact. Yeah, that's gonna take a while. Good thing they've got all the time they need.
We should try and find some sort of village first, Perry says. We'll need food and water.
The teacher nods. We probably should have brought some with us.
Perry glances back towards the fridge. In what spare space?
True. Teacher Perry pauses. Wait, I thought OCWA or whatever agents had those fedoras that held everything in them?
Oh. Right. That. Putting aside the fact that he hasn't worn his fedora in at least a year, and he never wants to see one again, he never did carry much inside it anyway. Usually just work-related gadgets and a decent first-aid kit (since OWCA's medical department was- and probably still is- absolute shit).
Don't have it on me, Perry signs, with no intention of elaborating.
Before the teacher can reply, the creaking sound of wooden wagon wheels (don't ask him how he knows what that sounds like) echoes in the woods behind them.
They both turn around to see a wagon trundling through the woods, heading towards them.
Should we hide? The teacher asks. Perry nods, and they both dive into some rather conveniently located underbrush against a large tree. He's not exactly in the mood to get burnt at the stake for witchcraft.
The wagon stops near the time machine, and the man driving it hops down. He walks around the fridge-turned-time-machine a few times, hesitantly reaching out a few times but never actually getting close enough to touch it.
Perry laughs to himself at what must be going through this man's mind. A peasant who can (probably) barely read, seeing something from five hundred years in the future. Something that could send him five hundred years into the future. Definitely not something he could comprehend, that's for sure.
The teacher nudges him, getting him to shut up. Yeah, getting found out would probably be bad. Again, he's not really in the mood to be tried for witchcraft.
Thankfully, it isn't long until the peasant turns, then goes back to his wagon. Good, now they can leave the time machine alone and be safely on the way towards their destination (which is, of course, still somewhat unknown).
Except, the peasant doesn't spur his animal (it might be a donkey, but it also might be a horse? Equestrians have never been Perry's area of expertise) into leaving. He instead reaches into the back of his wagon and gets his pitchfork.
Uh-oh. That can't be good. There isn't exactly a good way to repair delicate electronics out here. The teacher seems to come to the same conclusion.
We should stop him, the teacher signs. Perry nods. They'll definitely have surprise on their side- this peasant has probably never seen anything like either of them before. Teal blue hair, strange clothes in bright colors, even their dark skin might be something he's never seen before.
They burst out of their hiding spot, running up to the peasant man.
The peasant turns around and jumps about a foot in the air. It would be hilarious, if Perry didn't have to lean back in order to avoid becoming a shish kebab.
For a long moment, none of them do anything. The wheels are obviously turning in the peasant's head, and of course, the teacher doesn't say anything.
Technically Perry could say something -his muteness is psychological- but talking is hard, and it's not like he knows what to say anyway.
Then the peasant narrows his eyes and lowers his pitchfork towards them in a very threatening manner.
Uh-oh.
Perry makes eye contact with the other him (which, in case anybody was wondering, is a very strange thing to do), and raises one eyebrow. The teacher nods- looks like they're on the same page.
In the same instant, they turn over their shoulders and run in the opposite direction. Time to get away from that weird, weird situation.
(Good thing they ran in the same direction. Splitting up would be a very bad idea.)
Running away from the time machine is also a bad idea, but it has its own electronic signature on it that the artifact finder can pick up. And pitchforks can't do that much damage, right?
After a few minutes, they slow down to make sure the peasant isn't following them. He doesn't seem to be, which is good.
The teacher starts to laugh, and Perry joins him. This- yeah, this is absurd. One hundred percent worth devolving into giggles over.
Their giddy feeling lasts for the next hour or so as they trek closer to the artifact. The teacher makes all sorts of (slightly tasteless) jokes about their predicament, each one causing Perry to laugh.
It turns out he is good at making himself laugh. Always good to be able to actually prove it.
By the time the sun starts to set, throwing gorgeous orange and red rays of dying sunlight all over the forest, they've made good progress. Sixty-five miles left to go- they might go ten miles tomorrow, since they'll have all day.
Perry starts looking around for a place where they can sleep for the night, preferably without being eaten by something with sharp teeth. (Or blunt teeth. When it comes to not being eaten, there's really only one acceptable answer.)
Thankfully, it's still rather warm outside, and showing no sign of getting any cooler, so they shouldn't have to worry about any temperature issues.
It isn't long before they stumble upon a few boulders clumped together, forming a sheltering cave of sorts.
How's this for a stopping spot? Perry asks, gesturing towards the rocks.
It's as good a place as any, the teacher signs. Though we should probably check for bears.
It's unlikely that anything is hibernating in this weather, but it is still a good idea to check. Perry looks around in their chosen spot, then steps in to make sure there's no small creatures lurking in any small spaces inside.
While there are no fuzzy beings inside their shelter, there is something else that catches Perry's eye. Something metallic and vaguely shiny.
Upon closer inspection, it looks like a sword. A rather plain sword, all things considered, but still a sword.
Of all the things Perry expected to find in fifteen-hundreds Europe, this really wasn't it.
But it's still a sword. A valid weapon in case of bears, a good way to cut through the underbrush that's slowly getting thicker, and pretty cool to boot, so he goes to pick it up. There aren't any sorts of magical sound effects when he does, and nothing starts to glow, so that seems like a good sign.
Every good medieval hero needs a sword, the teacher jokes. Now we can go forth and slay dragons!
Perry laughs. You say that, and now we'll actually have to do that.
Imagine if the artifact is a little dragon figurine or something, teacher Perry signs.
Nah, in this time period that'd probably be in East Asia. Perry picks up the artifact locator, checking the screen. And I think this artifact is somewhere around Italy.
The teacher shrugs. You're in charge, King Arthur.
He gets the feeling that won't be the last Knights of the Round Table joke he hears on this trip. This cave seems safe enough, he signs, so we might as well sleep here. I'll take the first watch?
The teacher nods. Sounds good to me. Wake me up in a few hours, okay? He grimaces. Sorry if I snore.
Perry nods. I will. And don't worry about that. He moves to the front of the cave and sits down. The sky is dark enough to see the first few stars- and they're beautiful.
Light pollution, general pollution, all of it makes stargazing hard to do in modern life. Even in a place like Danville, where the suburbs are relatively dark at night. But here in the fifteen hundreds, with none of that whatsoever, it's absolutely gorgeous.
The scale of the universe is hard to comprehend, and it feels even larger now. The night is still warm, but a chill runs down Perry's spine at the thought.
Space is beautiful. Part of him wishes he were the one to go to the 1960's and retrieve the artifact from the moon. It would be nice to see the Earth from space.
Maybe when he gets back to his dimension, he'll build a rocket ship. Hopefully that won't count as an evil activity, and he can actually finish something he wants to do for once.
If the kids help, maybe OWCA won't get their feathers ruffled. For educational purposes, right?
Perry leans back against a smaller rock at the front of the cave, the mostly-full moon casting a nice comforting glow over the forest.
This is nice. Peaceful, even.
Speaking of the moon, he wonders how the other Perrys are getting on with their missions. How does one go to the moon without attracting a hell of a lot of unwanted attention- in the era of the Space Race?