Chapter 6 - Why Pranks are Awesome

A/N: Pranks are awesome. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or anything you've seen before.

Apollo was lounging in his throne, practicing some new ukulele chords he had recently learned. He was trying to replicate the gods' songs from last night, but he couldn't get them quite right. Luckily, Hera had videotaped the whole thing, so Apollo would try to find the correct chord while quietly singing the lyrics to himself.

Well, that's what he was doing when he saw Hermes run towards the throne room doors.

Hermes running by was a blink-and-you-miss-it occasion. Those winged shoes of his let him run so fast that all you could see of him was a blur.

Also, Apollo noted, he was small.

"Hey Hermes!" he called, setting down his phone with Hera's video recording on it.

The messenger god skidded to a halt and turned to slightly glare at Apollo. "What is it?"

Boy, wasn't he cheerful this morning. "Well, a question just popped into my head."

Hermes crossed his arms. "I was going to prank Ares. You seriously interrupted one of my pranks to ask me a question on a whim of yours?"

The two brothers stared at each other for a long time before Hermes looked away. "Fine," he said after a pause. "What's your blockheaded question?"

Apollo chose to ignore Hermes's use of an adjective. "Why do you look like a kid? Like, it's you, Artemis, and Hestia who look younger than the rest of us. Why is that?" Apollo blurted.

Hermes laughed. "What?"

"I said, why are you so small? Like, why do you look like a kid fresh out of the sixth or seventh grade?"

Hermes laughed again. "Oh. Okay. Okay. I'm not mad anymore, because that's such an easy question!"

"Shoot." Apollo gestured for Hermes to explain.

"First of all," said Hermes. "A kid can get away with a lot more pranks than an adult or a teen like yourself can."

Apollo nodded. He himself looked like maybe a nineteen-year-old would. But there was one thing wring with what Hermes said. "I don't think Artemis and Hestia play as many pranks as you do."

"Are they goddesses of trickery?" asked Hermes. Apollo shook his head as Hermes continued. "And, y'know, you usually don't see adults playing as many pranks as I do."

"Oh," said Apollo. "I get it."

Hermes clapped his hands. "Now to answer the other question you're probably asking yourself, why do I play so many pranks, I will have to go make a list. I will need about four hours to do so. So, practice your ukulele while I go write this list." He snapped his fingers and teleported out of the throne room in a flash of golden light.

Apollo stared at the spot where he was just standing. Hermes always did enjoy making lists.

Four hours later, Hermes came back. All the other gods were in the throne room. Apollo had told them about his conversation with Hermes, leaving out the fact that he was going to prank Ares, and they had all taken interest.

Hermes strolled in the hall with a stack of paper in his hands. He sniffed them and said, "I LOVE the scent of papers fresh off the printer."

Athena nodded. "They do smell very good."

Hermes grinned and looked up from his papers. "I'm sure Apollo filled all of you in on our earlier discussion! So here's my list of why playing pranks awesome."

He tucked the papers under his arm, and held up the first sheet, reading off of it. "Number one. It's fun for me.

"I really, really love setting up a prank. And I love seeing people's reactions after I pull one on them. Their faces are usually priceless." He shot a meaningful glance at his dad. "You should've seen your face when I gave you that glass of Jell-o with a straw in it."

Zeus gave an exasperated sigh. "That was mean! There I was, trying to drink what I thought was fruit punch, but it wasn't! And I was thirsty, too!"

Hermes grinned widely. "Exactly! That's what's so fun about pranks! Watching others' reactions!"

Zeus sat back on his throne, muttering.

Hermes ignored him and held up two fingers. "Number two. Planning. Coming up with pranks is hard—"

"You can look pranks up on the internet," Ares told him.

"Yes, I can," said Hermes. "but you didn't let me finish. It's fun because it's so hard."

Ares shook his head slowly. "Hard is boring. Easy is fun."

"To the layman!" Hermes said with a smile. "It's awesome trying to come up with original pranks! Now, of course, I get a lot of them off the internet, like the Jell-o one."

All the gods looked at each other. "True," Demeter acknowledged. "I've seen that one before."

"Three!" said Hermes. "Lean back on your thrones for me, please. Like, all the way."

The gods did so.

"Now, try to lean your head back."

"We can't!" said Aphrodite. "There's nothing to lean against." She looked at Hermes for an explanation.

"Yes!" he said. He climbed onto his throne and demonstrated. "I can lean my head back because I didn't saw off part of the back of mine."

The other Olympians either glared at him or gaped at him. "Why would you do that?" Hephaestus demanded loudly.

Hermes rolled his eyes and giggled. "I didn't do that for real. That's number three about pranks being awesome—there are many different types. You can have physical humor, like whoopee cushions, or trickery. I tricked you into thinking there was something to lean against, even though there never was, and that I defaced your thrones. But I didn't. You just thought I did."

Hermes hopped off his throne and went back to the front of the room. "Number four. Jump scares are fun. I'm the trickery god, which means I know all the hiding places. Since I am small, I can fit into the tighter ones like the cabinet under the sink so I can jump out at somebody when they're least expecting it." He was staring mostly at Zeus. "You screamed the last time I did that."

Zeus just sighed.

Artemis raised her eyebrows at her half-brother. "Are you sure jump scares count as pranks?"

Hermes shrugged. "Who cares if they don't? It's still fun!"

This was met by shouts of protest. "It's NOT fun!" "Yeah, Aphrodite's right! It's super scary!" "More like startling, Fish Face. You used the wrong word...again."

Hermes raised his hand for silence. "Number five. They're funny!"

"Not to whoever's being tricked," someone muttered.

Hermes chose to ignore them. "Whenever I play a really good prank on somebody, everyone else laughs. It's very rewarding because I know I am the cause of that laughter."

"Yeah, but whenever I'm the one who's being tricked, I don't laugh," said Athena.

Hermes put his hands on his hips and gave her a look. "Yes, you do. You did when I replaced all your favorite books with photo albums of Poseidon."

"That was because you were too dumb to realize I had hidden my favorite books under my bed," Athena muttered. "Those were just decoys. Honestly, I loathe Poseidon." She shot the sea god a nasty look.

"I hate you too!" Poseidon called from across the room.

"Can we continue with the list?" Hades asked irritably.

Hermes dipped his head. "Good idea!

"Number six. This is all I have. For the moment." A pause. "This is possibly the most important of all, at least to me." He made eye contact with every god in the room before telling them what number six was. Then he grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Pranks can be pulled anywhere, at any time!"

All the gods stared at him, then their eyes widened in terror as they felt their thrones begin to move.

It took them a moment to realize that their thrones were spinning around. They picked up speed, spinning, faster and faster, until they were spinning so fast that all the gods flew off.

Hermes was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. The extremely dizzy Olympians were sprawled on the floor, trying not to throw up.

"How did you DO that?" choked out a very green Aphrodite. She looked like she wanted to strangle Hermes.

"A prankster never reveals his secrets," Hermes said with a goofy grin. There was absolutely no way he was telling anybody how he pulled that one off.

"Hey! After we stop feeling so sick, do you wanna go play hide-and-seek?" Dionysus asked, hoping that Hermes didn't like that game. This way they would get a break from his annoying pranks.

"Yes!" shouted all the gods. But they were still to dizzy to sit up, much less chase after Hermes, who was currently running out of the throne room to avoid the gods' revenge.

A/N: Guess what the plot of the next chapter will be?

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