Warning: This chapter is SUPER HEAVY. Discussion of rape and miscarriages. Unfortunately, while you of course CAN skip it, it's inherent to the story, as well as most of the chapter. I completely understand if you're unable to read about it, though.
xXx
"Yo, Sess. You seen what today is?" Kouga looks up from his desk to look over at his two partners, also sitting at their desks in Kagome's corner office- perks of being a founding member, and effective boss of everyone, she gets the biggest damn office in the building, which perfectly fits two other desks for her partners so they could lock the door and prevent non emergency interruptions.
"It is June 14th, 2014. Why?" the inu drawls, not looking up from the report he is filling out.
"Happy one year partnerversary, dude!" Kouga's grin is wide and cheeky as he leans back in his chair, lacing his fingers behind his head.
"What? It's been a year already?" Kagome mumbles excitedly, shoving papers out of the way of her giant desk calendar. "Holy shit, it has. Well, happy partnerversary, babe." She looks up at Sesshoumaru, smiling at him. "We're getting a cake on the way home, tonight." she declares, making the inu snort.
"It is not necessary." he replies.
"Sure it is. It's a big deal that you've stuck with us for a year. Especially with her. Bigger deal that you've both been dating for four months and not torn each other or the house apart, too." the wolf taunts, waggling his eyebrows at the couple, who both roll their eyes and ignore him. "Another cause for celebration if you ask me. Oh! Plus, stalker hasn't been back since that first night with the lights. Definitely need cake for that." Kouga nods sagely.
"So long as I can get that fudgey death by chocolate monstrosity from that one bakery, you know the one I'm talking about, Kouga. Y'all can get whatever you like, but that's my demand." Kagome then turns her attention back to the papers on the desk.
"Sure thing, gorgeous. I'll put an order in and have it delivered. You want something not chocolate, Sess?"
"Indeed. Something not chocolate, or too sweet." the inu replies evenly, before pausing at a thought and turning to the miko."Kagome, what year did you fall into the well?"
She stiffens immediately, freezing mid movement before slowly putting down her papers and placing her hands flat against her desk. The inu's eyes flick over to the wolf, seeing him sitting very still, watching the woman warily.
"I apologize, I did not mean to upset you." Sesshoumaru says, moving to stand to comfort his miko before seeing her shake her head.
"S'fine." she breathes out quietly, before inhaling deeply and letting it out slowly. "I fell through the well almost five years ago now. It's just over another year until the well closes." she whispers before standing and walking to the door of the room.
"Kagome…" the inu starts, rising from his seat as well when she waves a hand at him.
"I'm fine, just need a minute. I'll be back." she replies as she leaves the room.
"Well. That went better than I thought it would." Kouga murmurs, relaxing in his seat.
"I did not think it would upset her so. Perhaps I should have, however." Sesshoumaru remarks, brows furrowing.
"You couldn't have known if she's never said anything about it. She's… sensitive about the subject. It's kinda wrapped up in the whole mess with your brother, really." Kouga shrugs, "She'll be back, like she said, she just needs a minute."
"Indeed. I still do not know what happened with… with him."
"Like I told you before, you gotta ask her. Perhaps not now, though." The ookami smirks wryly.
"Indeed." Sesshoumaru looks down at his paperwork, thoughts racing.
xXx
"Kagome?"
"Hm? What?" The miko looks up from her book, curled up in her favourite bean bag with Kirara snuggling against her stomach.
"I… I would like to ask you something, though I know it will upset you. You do not have to tell me if you do not wish to." Sesshoumaru tells her as he settles into a bean bag next to her.
A sigh escapes her. "You want to know what happened with InuYasha and why I got upset over you asking about my family." she deduces, marking her place in the book with a ribbon before setting it aside.
"Yes. I have been curious about my brother since I partnered with you, but I honestly did not expect the reaction you had about your family today. I apologize again for upsetting you. It was not my intention." He reaches for her hand, smiling softly when she laces her fingers with his.
"I… fuck. This is going to be kinda long, and I'm going to get angry and upset." She sucks in a deep breath, curling in on herself more. "Please, don't interrupt me until I'm done, I haven't had to say any of this outloud in a couple centuries." she whispers, receiving a wary nod from the inu.
"Right. Here goes. Um, so, you know, well, you may not know. Back during the shard hunt, your brother and I, though it was really rocky to start with, by the end, we were a couple." she pauses, her jaw clenching as tears already begin to fill her eyes. "You remember after the final battle, and the wish, that the well closed and I got stuck on the past side of it, obviously. We spent a year, year and a half, in Edo, almost entirely so that I could learn how to handle my reiki properly, since sporadic lessons here and there when we were stuck there due to injuries for a week or two over the course of five years, does not a master make. So, I became a sponge with Kaede, learning everything I could from her until she had nothing else to teach me."
"While we were there, we'd become essentially freelance exterminators, and when it started becoming clear that I was nearing the end of my training with Kaede, we started making plans. We'd decided we were going to go to the old slayer village and fix it up, start recruiting and training new people, humans and youkai. We wanted to keep helping people as we had been during the shard hunt. So. We did. We named it the Order of the Sun once we had a dozen or so more people. I had the idea that because we were helping all of Japan, that since it's the land of the rising sun, it made sense to name the group as an homage to what we were fighting for. They all decided to name it for me, for my family name- it means sunset. They said that if it hadn't been for me, none of them would have come together as we all did, and we wouldn't have accomplished any of what we had." Sesshoumaru nods in agreement, remembering the girl she had been, how she kept everyone together and drove them to be better people, himself included once he started travelling with them.
"We grew from the four of us, six if you count Shippo and Kirara- Shippo wasn't allowed to go with us anymore until he was older, we sent him to the kitsune academy instead for three quarters of the year- but we grew from the four of us to a dozen. Then to three dozen. Then six. The village kept getting bigger and bigger." Kagome's voice has become detached at this point, clinical almost as she rattles off the information. "This entire time, your brother and I were still together. Turns out the demon slayers have this amazing concoction that works as a birth control that pretty much guarantees you to not get pregnant while you're taking it- the Order makes a synthetic version of it now that's administered as a monthly shot. Hell of a lot easier than boiling the stuff into tea every morning. Anyways, after about a century and a half, Sango, Miroku, Rin and Kohaku were gone. The ones who'd helped us set up the Order were gone, and their kids were now elderly as well. So, we decided we wanted to start our own family. We'd been building the Order for so long, and it was finally at a point where we could loosen our reins on it a bit."
"Your brother was my partner, as you know. He was just as reckless a century later as he was during the shard hunt. Normally, it didn't matter so much. I was- am- an insanely powerful miko, especially after the wish and even more so once I learned how to handle my reiki," she pauses to flick her eyes over to him to see if he reacts to the statement, and sees his brow arch minutely. Sighing, she continues, knowing he'll ask later about it. "Though I could only learn so much from Kaede, we ended up having several miko's stay in our village over the years, and I kept learning more and more. By the end of the 1600s, I rivalled Midoriko, if not surpassed her. So, his reckless idiocy usually didn't make any difference, because I could protect everyone."
"Then..." Kagome stops, her voice breaking on the word as tears begin flowing freely. Sesshoumaru shifts to pull the miko into his lap, holding her as she clutches at his shirt and Kirara, who had begun purring loudly in an attempt to soothe the girl. "We got a request to go and investigate some weird abductions that were happening to a village. Girls were disappearing and being found a week later, their clothes shredded and their bodies looking like they'd been mauled. He and I went alone, figuring we could suss out what was happening and determine if we needed backup or not. If it was a one on one contest, very few could outmatch us in terms of power, but if it was several beings, or something using magic, it helped to have others around just in case."
"So, we get to this village, and lo and behold, they've just had a girl turn up dead again. It was the fifth one in three months. I go to examine her body and she's a mess. Her entire torso is barely being held together, she's been clawed so deeply everywhere. Then, I notice strange bruising on her legs. I remove the hakama and find…" Kagome stops again, squeezing her eyes shut. "She'd been… yeah." A shuddering breath escapes the woman as a shiver races down her spine. "Brutally. We can't find any signs of magic on her, though, so we assume it's some rogue youkai picking off unlucky girls, having his way with them and dumping them. Well, we weren't wrong, entirely."
"That night, we came up with a plan of attack, using me as bait. We'd done it before, and it'd gone off without a hitch. So, the next night, I go walking near the woods at twilight, since that's where they think the girls had been being taken from. It takes about twenty minutes before someone grabs me." She swallows thickly, her voice barely a whisper at this point. "We didn't detect any magic because the girls had no magic defenses, so they were easy to subdue. I, obviously, wasn't. He ended up knocking me out, and when I woke up, I had cuffs around my wrists and ankles. They blocked my reiki. I was alone, without my only real defense, most likely had a concussion, and…" Her shoulders begin to shake as she loses herself in silent sobs. "I'd figured out two days before we left for the assignment that I was pregnant. Somewhere around the two and a half month mark. I hadn't told anyone yet." she chokes out.
"The youkai, I still don't know what kind he was, but he was big. He decided that since I was a miko, he wasn't going to just maim me like he did the others, he wanted to take his time with me, break me, before killing me. It felt like days. He nearly did break me. See, whatever kind of youkai he was, he could glean thoughts and memories. So, in order to make sure that InuYasha didn't come and get me, he created an image of Kikyo and led him on a goose chase, and the fucking idiot took the bait, completely forgetting about the fact that the entire reason we were in that fucking village was because of a serial raping murderer. He left me. For hours! Just so he could see her." Her entire body is shaking violently, voice raw in her rage.
"By the time he finally remembered that I'd been taken, the youkai had had me for god only knows how long. He didn't claw at me, but he made sure to leave me with a litany of bruises. Everywhere. I was already bleeding by the time he finally showed up to rescue me."
Sesshoumaru was struggling, the cold fury that was sliding through him nearly threatening to drown him and force a transformation.
"When we got back to the village I asked for Kouga and Shippo and refused to allow anyone but the head miko to see me. After telling those three what happened, I didn't speak for a long, long time. I barely ate, probably would've died regardless of the jewel's fuckery had Kouga and Shippo not practically force fed me after the first two days. I left the village to stay in Kouga's caves, letting him fuss over me while I just… shut down. It wasn't until a rogue boar youkai nearly skewered a couple of the packs cubs that I came out of the fog I'd let myself drift in. After that, I threw myself into learning every possible means to defend myself, so I would never be in that position again. Rare as those cuffs might be, there was still a chance I could run across them, and I never wanted to feel helpless ever again."
"It was almost a full century before I went back to the Order as more than a distant consultant. By that point, the story had spread, though missing some of the details, among the heads of the Order that I had been attacked brutally, and InuYasha wasn't fast enough to prevent me from being hurt. I didn't bother to correct them, because it's not wrong, and I don't need the looks of pity from people. Besides, idiot he may be, he'd done well with the Order, and kept it going despite my very long sabbatical."
"I refused to be partnered with him again though, which raised some eyebrows, but no one questioned me on it. However, it became increasingly more difficult to keep a partner. Until Kouga volunteered. He'd been working with us off and on since the beginning, and around the time that I rejoined the Order officially, the humans had begun encroaching and hunting youkai, so he moved his pack away from the caves and helped us turn the Order into what it is now. It was about the 1920s when he finally asked to be paired with me permanently. Fast forward, and now here we are."
Kagome finishes her story, wiping the tears from her face as she leans heavily against the inu who is still struggling to control his anger, his nose having buried itself in her hair long ago, using her scent as a grounding point.
"How does the wish factor in, other than sealing the well?" he asks quietly, voice gravelly.
She shrugs, fingers twirling a stray lock of his hair. "I can't prove it, other than with my unnaturally long life, but I'm pretty sure that when I made the wish, the physical jewel disappeared, but the amount of power it held didn't. Instead, I got it. I didn't know at the time, but according to everyone else, when the jewel was disintegrating, I was glowing."
He nods, filing the information away before asking his next question. "Your family?" he manages to force out, his voice rough with emotion.
"Because I know I'll have to explain what happened and why I'm no longer on civil speaking terms with the hanyou they'd fallen in love with as much as I had 500 years ago. Except for them, it'll only have been a few weeks. They'll expect me to show up with him, and I won't be. He doesn't know what year to look for, and I'm not telling him. I'm sure eventually he'll figure it out, but until then…" she trails off, not entirely sure herself what she means to infer. He continues to hold her as they sit quietly for a few minutes, his mind turning over all the information he'd been given, as well as giving himself time to get a grasp on his riled emotions.
"I am-" Sesshoumaru starts, voice still thick, before she interrupts him.
"Don't say you're sorry, please. I don't want the pity, or the sympathy. It happened, while I'm still fucking furious with your brother over it, and it still hurts, it's in the past. I'm not a broken girl anymore, just one with some anger issues." She smirks. "Kouga did so much for me then, and stuck with me through everything. He's my rock."
"I was not going to offer such sympathies, though you have them. I was merely going to say that I am surprised you would allow anyone to touch you, let alone another man." the inu murmurs against her hair.
"Kouga." is all she replies with.
He nods stiffly, inhaling her scent again. "I see. I owe, it seems, my everything to the wolf." he whispers, hugging her tighter to him, just as he notices that the ookami is seated on the floor just outside the door, knees drawn up and his arms draped over them, his head bowed low. "I will have to thank him." Sesshoumaru says quietly, both to the miko and the wolf, catching Kouga's eye when he lifts his head. "For now, though, how about we get you some more cake, and go watch a movie with the wolf. How does that sound?" The inu presses a kiss to her temple as she nods weakly. Scooping her up as he stands, Kirara still in her lap, Kouga hops to his feet as well to get the TV set up.
"Yo, you want popcorn with your cake, Kags?" Kouga calls as the other two enter the room.
"Yeah, sure." she replies quietly as Sesshoumaru sets her down on the couch.
"Will do. Sess, come help real quick." Both canines step into the kitchen to prepare the snacks for their miko. "Thanks, man." the wolf starts, keeping his voice soft so that Kagome doesn't hear. "I… fuck. I love that girl, she means the world to me, and I… I just want to say thanks for being there for her in ways that I can't be. She's been through a lot, and while some of the scars will never go away, I'm really glad that you guys got together." Kouga confides to Sesshoumaru before nodding and heading back out to the living room, the inu trailing behind.
xXx
Sesshoumaru lays on his back on Kagome's bed with her curled up tightly against his side, one arm wrapped around her back, his fingers rubbing gentle circles on her hip, the other pillowing his head as he stares at the ceiling, watching the soft galaxy light show she has projecting there, his mind going over everything she'd told him earlier. He can still feel the fury snaking through him, but he's also awed at the immeasurable strength that the woman next to him has. His heart clenches painfully at the thought of the torment she had endured over these past centuries. This tiny slip of a woman deserves every happiness, deserves to be loved unconditionally and irrevocably.
The thought stills him as soon as he has it, his eyes widening at what he's just implied to himself. Glancing down at Kagome, he realizes that the new revelation doesn't upset him. If anything, it pleases him. He leans down and kisses the crown of her head, smiling when she nuzzles against him.
"Mm, what?" she asks sleepily, pulling the covers up around her more securely.
"It is nothing, little one. I was merely thinking." he answers softly, as she lifts her head to look at him.
"About what?"
"You. Myself. Us."
"What about us?"
"Kagome," he starts, rolling to his side and wrapping both arms around her, "you are magnificent. I have lived for over a millenia, and I have never come across anyone quite as amazing as you. I do not deserve you, and yet, here I am, lucky enough to have you. Kagome, I love you." he confesses, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead as she inhales sharply before her arms slip around his neck and she clings to him.
"I love you, too." she echoes, pressing her nose to his throat, smiling softly as she allows herself to fall asleep, wrapped in the arms of the man she loves.
xXx
5/10/21 A/N: I'm sorry again if this chapter upset anyone. It's heavy AF, but it's important to set up why Kagome is the way she is and why she's clashing with InuYasha. I did state in the beginning that the characters are OOC in some ways, and she's the most OOC. Next chapter is a lot less depressing, promise!