Chapter 6
For the next 48 hours, it was strangely peaceful. There were no interruptions of Zero's voice and Zero helped in a way to make him more comfortable. The blinding lights would dim automatically when his eyes started to flutter close, his meals were delicious, and the books kept him entertained. When he felt that he's mind was drifting, there would be a soft music playing in the background, bringing him back to the present.
Another gesture from Zero that shocked him was her solution to the constant urge to scratch his face. There was a plain worn mask in a slot tray. It was made out of light wood with embedded curvature marks, as if someone has carved it by hand. The mouth was exposed so that eating and talking was easier. Simon took the mask and tried it on. It fitted him perfectly. From then on, unless he was sleeping, he would wear the mask like a second skin.
48 hours passed and the chime of next scheduled stimulation began with Zero's voice.
"Your scheduled stimulation is in an hour. During this period, pills will no longer be provided to you."
Simon's heart thudded and he slowly wretched his head away from the book in his hand. Afterwards, he tried to turn his focus back to the book but to no avail, his concentration has escaped from him by fright. Slowly, the time crept forward until an hour has passed. Like clockwork, slots opened to bring forth mechanical claws that lifted him up with ease. Simon hissed at the touch of the cold metal against his warm flesh but, he didn't resist. Simon quivered like a lamb to a slaughter, knowing what were to come, but also realizing there was no point in resisting. He felt the needle prick his neck and slowly, he sank into the darkness.
Simon opened his eyes at the familiar landscape. There was a familiar sound to his one ear that made him frown with annoyance. The laughter of children was echoed off the high ceiling of a mall while the air conditioning whined and sputtered like a dying car engine. He could smell popcorn, plastic and waft of bad odours (a lot like the odour from a sweat locker he thought, filled with damp sweat and bad teen hygiene) that suggested whoever was on cleaning duty wasn't doing their job properly. He was sitting on top of a throne, looking over the spread out malls where the Apex roamed and where he ruled as their leader with the highest number.
Simon remembered he has drifted off for a short nap. But, he felt a cold sweat sliding down his neck, a sign that he always had when he dreamed a nightmare, even when he couldn't remember the content. At the edge of darkness, he felt the slippery nightmare seep into his unconsciousness. It left him feeling disgusted and paranoid with anxiety. Simon quickly wiped off his sweat and washed away the feeling with a sip of cold soda as his closest aide in Apex cautiously approached him.
"Sir, we caught another Straiders in our midst, plotting." The aide told him while staring at the floor and not meeting Simon's piercing gaze. The aide knew Simon was already in a foul mood. Wearing baseball hat and a purple hoodie, the aide trembled slightly. Simon stared down at his aide with blank expression. He couldn't remember the aide's name, yet 'Straider' hit him like a truck, causing him to feel silent rage. The aide fumbled nervously with the string dangling from her hoodie under Simon's perpetual stare. "What shall we do with them, sir?"
The aide has pointed toward the group of young teens and children huddled together, bound in ropes. The young teens growled at the guards who held make shift spears with thin knives wrapped on a pale thin pipe. Some children have begun to tear up in fear while some other has stayed adamantly quiet.
Simon opened his mouth and a rough husked voice came out, filled with fatigue and cold sharp edges. "Straiders? Another group of em?" They seem to multiple by day and night like rats.
The aide anxiously glanced at the group and back at Simon sitting on top of the crafted throne. "Yes, sir. This makes a second round this week."
"And the proof?" Simon asked nonchalantly. On cue, the aide tossed badges onto the foot of the throne. The badge was particularly carved out into a letter "G."
"Here they are. They had these horrid symbol with them." The aide raised his voice, and it was filled with anxious anger. "I brought them to be tried for their betrayal and plotting against the great Apex."
Simon thrummed his fingers along the arm rest and pretended to ponder. It gave him a small joy that the Apex and his close aide has begun to use the word he created. Straiders, those who were the individuals who strayed from the Apex and believe in the symbol "G" represent. Even in death, 'she' haunted him. The badges filled his heart with anger and madness lit up his eyes.
"There are only one ending for those who betrays the Apex, just as the one who was called a null has done so in the past." Simon dramatically raised his voice, and it echoed through the mall. Halting and unforgiving silence enveloped the cart. The cold gaze of the brainwashed children and teen watched the huddled group with vibrant fury.
Simon slid his thumb across his throat with one swift move, a move that would renounce their death sentence. "Wheel them."
A howl of protest and outcry from the Straiders mixed in strange cacophony of roars from Apex reverted to the mall. At once, a heavy fatigue fell upon Simon's shoulder. He got up and walked toward the escalator to go up to his private spot in the second floor above. Near the top fountain was a giant pole that he installed with the help of the Apex of the lies and deceits of the G so that they would never forget the betrayals.
But, many saw what happened that day.
He had tried to convince them that 'she' was a lie, a toxic poison that eroded the long-standing belief of Apex. Some were convinced and they reluctantly agreed with him.
Yet most did not.
With horror and tears in their eyes, they entered the mall and created a barrier walls, and they said it was to protect themselves. They told him they needed a couple of days to process what happened. But, soon they laid siege, unmoving and uncooperative. They no longer wanted to be part of the Apex. The eldest amongst them begged Simon to let them go.
Simon listened to their demand with emptiness in his eyes. Then, he did what had to be done. He denounced them on that day already in his heart. He got a smart name for them as well. Straider, he thought he would call them, because they strayed off the path of Apex.
No one wanted to talk about what had to happen after Simon has told the rest of Apex the truth. They stared at him with grim expression, already knowing where it was headed. The day after became a tragedy. A day that no one ever talks about in Apex, but Simon knew, they could still feel slick blood on their hands, wet and slippery which marked as a special anniversary, one that they will never forget. But many didn't carry out the action even under pressure. A friend turned on the other friends, newcomers who came were bewildered and confused about the different sides. Then, the vicious cycle would continue.
It took Simon a long time to get Apex to what it was today. A systematic system where everyone in the Apex were safe and remained that way. Finally, the children were laughing, smiling and casually eating popcorns. All the bloodshed was in the past. But, Simon knew there were rumours going around. Rumours about him. About how he was going mad, insane, and demented.
"What they are saying is true you know." A chilling voice spoke behind him. The voice wrapped around the throne and stroked his cheek. "You already know deep down, this 'peace' you have will not last. Not until I'm completely gone. It won't erase the blood you shed and the children you sacrificed."
Simon didn't reply. He cursed inwardly for not noticing the time.
"Why don't you tell them, how you have always been crazy. How you are growing crazier day by day? Oh, I guess only your 'aide' would know about how crazy you are? I'm sure this aide wouldn't last that long either. Remember what happened to the last one?"
"Shut up." Simon whispered and fumbled with his pocket. Where were they?
"Why don't you let your 'Apex' know how you tried to cut off your ear, to make yourself deaf? Thinking that was going to just make me quiet? Isn't that the reason why you are half deaf now? It was funny watching you do that."
Simon got up and firmly stared at the floor. The pills, they should have been in his pocket. Why weren't they there?
"I mean, after all, I'm just a figment of your imagination? Remember? You wheeled me. Just like you wheeled Tuba." The voice was in front of him now. Simon resisted the urge to look up. He tried to cover his eyes with his trembling hand, but it was too late. A face gaze back at him in a crouched position and stared at him endearingly. "Did you miss me Simon?
"I-I don't miss you." Simon stuttered as he stared back at Grace's warm and kind eyes. They were chocolate brown, just as he remembered them when she stared at him with her outstretched hands that grasped the empty air. "You aren't real." Simon wanted to look away, but her gaze, filled with joy and life, was hypnotizing.
"You know, I always wondered why you never conjured up Tuba, but I guess you never felt guilty about her. Only me. I guess I'm your special girl?" Grace teased jokingly, then her tone turned chillingly cold. "Even though you killed so many kids. I guess you never felt guilty about them either."
Simon felt alarm go off in his head. He needed those pills. Simon dashed away from the throne and down the escalator to the first floor, pushing and shoving into other kids, he dashed down recklessly with his heart pumping. His aide had to be on the first floor somewhere, hopefully with the bottle of pills in hand. Simon made sure they all carried one, after the first accident.
"Simon, where are you going?" Grace chuckled. "You can't run away from your own figment of imagination."
Simon finally spotted his aide in the corner, between the narrow space of the shops. The aide opened a heavy metal double door and stepped inside. Simon dashed in and caught the aide by the shoulder. Under the tight concrete corridor that stretched deeply under a white light, the aide's purple sweater stood out against the dull grey.
"Simon, where did you go?" Grace screamed with wild laughter behind the double metal door. Her laughter shredded the air. Simon closed his eyes and clutched his head.
"I need the pills." Simon demanded. "Now."
The aide's back stiffened. Finally turning around, the aide gazed at Simon with tears in her eyes. He would have recognize those eyes even with passage of time. They were once eyes of a young cheerful girl, but now he stared at hardened eyes of a young teen that stared back at him with pure hatred.
"Hazel?"
The young teen laughed with bitterness. "Hi Simon. You look like you are doing well. Still dull-witted as ever. Couldn't even notice that I was your aide for about a week now. Don't you even remember killing your 'aide' or were there too many of them to count?"
Simon stood in silence with tightness growing in his chest.
"But, I guess I'm the dull-witted one to believe you and leave you alone with Grace. I heard what you have done to Grace. You wheeled her, just like how you wheeled Tuba." Hazel snarled.
"How-how did you find out?"
Hazel laughed while tears fell from her eyes. "How did I find out? How? It was recorded by the Conductor and I mean every single wrong thing you have done. I saw the recordings with Amelie's help." Hazel paused while tears slowly fell from her burning eyes. "How could you kill Tuba? How could YOU kill Grace?"
"Tuba was a null." Simon stated numbly like reading a written script. "Grace lied to me all those years. She fed me lies, brainwashed me and then pretended that she did me a favour instead. How could I not hate her?" Simon said, but his voice was hollow and empty.
They stood parallel to each other, both looking into each other's eyes. Finally, Simon looked away. He saw the disgust on Hazel's face that stared at his numbers which has consumed the entirety of his skin. "I tried to give you a chance, even after all these years and passing time. Actually, I tried to forgive you for what you've done. It would have been what Tuba and Grace wanted." Hazel said with wet regret in her voice. Her voice cracked under the strain of heavy heart and deep sadness.
"But, no more." Hazel said. "What I see you doing now to the innocent children! Calling them Straider and 'wheeling' them." She glared at him with a resolution. "You're a monster."
Hazel took out an object from her pocket. Sharp and metallic, it shined under the white strobe light. With murder in her eyes, Hazel rushed forward. Simon turned and ran, dashing toward the entrance. But, someone was blocking the door.
Grace stood in front of him, smiling just like that day when she knew something he did not with the deep sadness in her eyes. "I found you Simon." Looking at Grace's smile, Simon knew it was over. Grace hugged him to be still and in rapid succession, he felt sharp pains in the back; one shallow cut behind his lungs and two in his lower back.
Simon tumbled forward with mouthful of blood in his mouth. His vision went fuzzy, his back burned while the tips of fingers grew colder by the seconds. He struggled and shuddered to breath. The puddle of blood in front of his vision spread out further and wider with each gasp and cough. Still in one ear, he heard Grace's whispering words, short and sweet, 'it's ok.'
Hazel swung one final time with her entire body- violently and brutally, into his heart.
Author's note: I remember when I used to work in a mall, there would always be these double metal backdoor which led to compost and recycle areas for the shops in the mall. They were long, narrow and confusing like a maze. Often, they led to the backdoor of many shops. It felt mysterious for me because the surface of the mall seemed shiny and bright while in the back was really dull, grey and dimly lit. Knowing the duality nature of the mall felt special to me.