Katara couldn't believe how excited she was to be back in the Fire Nation. The early days were still a bad memory but as she passed through the familiar Great Gates of Azulon she felt a rush of nostalgia. Azula came from below deck and stood with her at the bow. "I can't believe we've been gone nearly two years," Azula put an arm around Katara and held her tightly, "It'll be so good to see Zuko and Uncle again."
"I wonder how much has changed," Katara wondered aloud, "You and Zuko wrote to one another right, did he seem different?"
"He seems happier," Azula told Katara, "I think being Fire Lord fits him like a glove but it's still hard work."
"I still can't believe your big brother is the Fire Lord." Toph had followed Azula on deck though she looked as unsteady as ever on the ship. Azula took her hand and helped to stay on her feet, her grateful smile was all the thanks she needed. "He must have had a rough childhood with you around."
"I almost miss you being timid, Little Mole," Azula said affectionately, "These past two months have done wonders for your confidence."
Two months ago Katara and Azula had found Toph in a Fire Nation prison camp. She was a wreck, a broken little girl who called herself Mole. Thankfully, with the help of Katara, Azula, King Bumi of Omashu and one of the palace staff, Pama, she was getting better and had even started using her old name again. While Toph would never be her old self completely she realised that that didn't have to be a bad thing. Her old self had bottled up her emotions and acted out because of it but now she felt much more comfortable crying or showing that she cared.
The best news was that Toph had complete control of her bending again all thanks to King Bumi and Katara's guidance during the few weeks they spent in Omashu. The key thing she had lacked was her confidence but also good breath control which Katara helped with immensely.
In her downtime she spent time with Pama, doing things like going out to the market or meeting her family. Once she had considered these things boring and mundane but now she missed that sense of normalcy. Toph wondered if Pama knew just how much she had helped her confidence and as her confidence grew so too did her control over her Earthbending.
Azula was around but she liked to keep herself busy though it was because of her Toph had learned that not all Fire Nation folk, benders or otherwise, were bad people. All in all her time in Omashu had done so much for her. Although Azula didn't show it she had come to adore Toph who also returned the sentiment.
"You keep calling me 'Little Mole' so I'll just keep teasing you," Toph said snidely. Azula chuckled at the girl nudged her on the shoulder. One thing they had learned quickly was that Toph was a witty little monkey feather.
Once Toph was deemed safe by King Bumi, Azula had expressed her desire to return to the Fire Nation to find Zhao so that he could face justice. She had sent messenger hawks ahead of them and it seemed the snake had left the archipelago weeks ago. Toph had been reluctant to leave Pama but she wanted to be there when Zhao was found, no matter where he hid. Still, it had been a teary goodbye on her part.
The boat finally made landfall and the ramp was lowered to allow the girls and their crew to disembark. Waiting at the bottom was Iroh who looked to have gotten a little greyer in their time away. Katara ran down the ramp and flew into his arms. Iroh caught her with a strained groan as he fought to stay upright.
"I came the moment your message arrived," Iroh laughed joyfully, holding the girl tightly. "Look how big you've gotten," he said as he got a good look at her "Two years and you've practically become a woman."
"I'm seventeen," Katara reminded him, "Almost there I guess."
Azula was much more refined and hugged Iroh after Katara was done. "Good to see you Azula, how is the south treating you?"
"It's lovely once you get past the cold," Azula said with a light shrug, "You'd like it, they rarely eat anything that isn't meat." Katara glared at Azula. They ate more than just meat...sometimes...
"Perhaps I'll visit and try some myself one day," Iroh patted his belly with a loud laugh. Then his eyes fell on Toph who was still a little shy around new people and had opted to hide behind Azula. The two had become quite close. While Katara was seen as the gentle touch and always there to listen, Toph firmly believed Azula to be the one who protected them both.
"You must be Toph?" Azula stepped aside, letting Uncle get a good look at the girl, "You're tragic tale has broken many hearts young one, the Fire Nation can never atone for the horrors Commander Zhao put you and Gaoling through." Toph said nothing to him but Iroh didn't expect her to.
"We might not be able to change the past but we can punish those involved," Azula told her uncle, "Your message said Zhao was gone?"
"Yes, he fled the homeland when his crimes were discovered," Iroh said distastefully, "His spies told him no doubt."
"Any idea where he went?" Iroh shook his head at her and Azula felt her anger rising. "Do we know anything?"
"He left with soldiers loyal to him so I don't think he'll stay hidden for long," Iroh now had a grave look on his wizened face. "I'm worried that he's planning to start trouble but I'll keep an ear to the ground."
"Thank you, Uncle," Azula said gratefully. She took a deep breath to calm herself down before speaking again. "Uncle, would you be alright looking after Toph while Katara and I speak with my brother?"
"I wanna meet Zuko?" Toph piped up but Azula shook her head.
"Another time Little Mole," she promised her, "What we're going to discuss is Fire Nation business."
"Trust me Toph, I struggle to stay awake at most meetings," Iroh said with a cheesy grin, "I promise we'll have a much better time, so tell me, child, do you like tea?"
Zuko had been pacing the length of the podium back and forth, worrying about Zhao and his recent defection among other things. The Southern Water Tribe had made no demands of him, no doubt thanks to Azula, but the Northern Water Tribe and the Earth Kingdom had both demanded commiserations.
They said the money would be divided among the masses to help them rebuild their lives but he wasn't an idiot. Their motives were far from altruistic but if he didn't pay them then no doubt it would just increase the already high tensions between the Fire Nation and the rest of the world. Tensions often led to conflict and the last thing he wanted was another century of war.
Internally the Fire Nation was stable. The economy was booming thanks to ports worldwide being opened to them for the first time in a century. This was only possible because the Fire Nation hadn't been defeated in the war but had instead surrendered. The vast resources at Zuko's command had dwindled only slightly so the truth of the matter was, the Fire Nation remained the most powerful and stable nation on the planet. He was happy to share that good fortune if it brought them points with the other nations. He just wished the money was going to the people, not just the politicians.
"Zuzu, why didn't you meet us at the harbour?" came a familiar voice and Zuko's face brightened when he saw his family enter the large chamber. Zuko jumped off the podium and ran at Azula, hugging her almost as tightly as Iroh had.
"It's so good to see you," Zuko said happily before switching to the sassy older brother, "But I was busy doing your job, remember?" Azula laughed as they hugged. He then let go and turned to Katara. "I'm so glad you came back Katara," he said to her, "I want you to know you'll always be welcome here."
Katara smiled back at him. "It's good to see you too, Fire Lord Zuko." she bowed which caused Zuko to blush.
"Please, don't do that," Zuko asked her, "We're practically family." Katara embraced Zuko warmly, she had missed him. She hadn't seen Zuko in so long that she had almost forgotten about his scar. It had healed considerably but the left side of his face would remain disfigured for the rest of his life. He was lucky to still have the use of his left eye though. It reminded her of Pama back in Omashu who had a similar scar though it didn't cover her eye and went down from her cheek to the base of her neck.
"So," Zuko became more serious, "I take it you want to discuss what Zhao did in Gaoling?" he shook his head angrily, "I've already sent out messages across the Fire Nation and the Colonies, he's a fugitive now and he won't hide forever."
"He has a small army so I have no doubt he plans on using it," Azula mused, "He'll expose himself sooner or later, I only worry what he'll do to achieve it."
"That's why I've also sent a message to the Earth King in Ba Sing Se and King Bumi in Omashu," Zuko assured them, "They'll know to be on the lookout for Zhao and his renegades. Hopefully, they'll put the word out so the people don't get caught unawares."
"What do we do in the meantime?" Katara asked them both.
"Why not stay here?" Zuko offered, "If he makes a move you'll have the fastest ships in the world to get you to wherever he might turn up."
"We could send word to Aang?" Katara also put out, "Appa can fly us inland." Katara hadn't forgotten about their mission to find Aang an Earthbending teacher and she truly believed that Toph would one day overcome her fears and Earthbend again. Even if it didn't happen she couldn't see herself leaving Toph behind without good reason.
"I don't want the Avatar involved in this," Zuko said suddenly, "The world still fears the Fire Nation and if people hear of the Avatar fighting soldiers in Fire Nation colours it'll send the wrong message. The Fire Nation needs to be seen punishing those of us who can't let go of the war, for our image and to help restore our honour."
"I agree," Azula stated, "So is this our plan of action, remain here and simply wait?" Zuko nodded and they both turned to Katara who also agreed. "Very well, whose hungry? It's been so long since I've had some Fire Flakes."
"How's the tea?" Iroh asked Toph who was sat opposite him at his small table.
Toph took a sip, tasting the sharp bitterness of the ginseng root along with an earthy aftertaste. "Delicious," Toph told him. She took another sip and just let herself relax. Her mother had loved tea and so Toph had grown up drinking it. It was one of the few ways she had left that let her feel close to her mother. It had been over a year since they died but she had never even seen their graves. Did the people in Gaoling even bury them? Would she ever be welcome back?
"Thank you," Iroh said with a pleased grin, ignorant of her internal drama, "I always consider it a day wasted if I don't get to relax with a nice cup of ginseng tea." He then sipped his own and the room fell into a comfortable silence. Even Toph could tell it was impossible to feel awkward around him and they had just met. After a while, Iroh asked a question. "In her letters, my niece told me you are afraid to Earthbend, is that true?"
Toph shrugged. "I know it's stupid," she also admitted.
"Will you tell me why you fear it?" Iroh then asked, trying not to sound forceful.
Toph still couldn't Earthbend. Even after making so much progress and learning to control her emotions she still couldn't make that critical connection to the Earth even when it felt like it was begging her to try. Every time she did all she was the faces of those who had died because of her. Even though she had finally accepted that it wasn't her fault the guild still weighed heavily on her. No matter how she tried she couldn't forgive herself.
Toph took a moment to consider her answer, even considering not answering, but eventually, she found the right words. "Do you ever feel like the power you hold is so dangerous that losing control could end lives?"
"I'm a Firebender," Iroh said bluntly, "I live with that fear every single day, all benders do."
"Yeah but fire can be tamed, Earth is stubborn," Toph explained, "A wildfire might destroy a forest but that doesn't mean it won't regrow. If an Earthbender punches the side of a mountain they could cause a landslide and then there's no way it'll ever be the same. The mountain will be changed forever and the damage caused by the landslide might even destroy lives. Earth is far more dangerous than fire."
"There is wisdom in your reasoning," Iroh admitted with a nod. "Fire can burn you, earth can crush you, water can drown you, even the Airbenders could steal the air from your lungs if they were so inclined. The element itself is usually not dangerous on its own, only those who control it are."
"And that's why I can't Earthbend," Toph said stubbornly, "Deep down I know I'm dangerous." Even as she spoke those words Iroh could see the sadness in her expression. It was almost like she longed to not be afraid. As he looked over at Toph he noticed that she was squatting instead of sitting. He had been told that she could only see with her feet on the ground.
"Are you not uncomfortable sitting like that?" he then asked, looking at her sideways as he sipped his tea.
Toph shook her head. "I see with my feet," she explained.
"I thought you were afraid to Earthbend?"
"I'm not-" she stopped short when she realised what she almost said, "No, I guess I am Earthbending."
"And have you ever stopped being able to see since the accident?" Iroh then asked. Toph shook her head. "Then you never really stopped Earthbending did you?" His logic was clear but before Toph could answer he spoke again. "Once there was once a young man named Yun who lived during the time of Avatar Kyoshi and he was thought to be the Avatar before Kyoshi was discovered. As well as being smart, creative and loveable he was also a very gifted Earthbender and it was often said that the earth loved him."
"I've never heard of him," Toph racked her brain for any mention of this 'Yun' guy but got nothing. She knew a million Yun's but not one who was mistaken to be the Avatar.
"The earth Kingdom may wish to erase his mistaken identity and bury his story but there are those of us in the world with long memories and access to knowledge thought lost for centuries," was all he said, "As I was saying. Here you are, an Earthbender who uses the very ground beneath her feet to see without even thinking about it," he chuckled to himself, "I believe the earth loves you too, why else would it respond to you so effortlessly and without even thinking about it?"
"Perhaps your lack of control was also the earth trying to protect you?" he also offered, "Did you ever consider that?"
Iroh's words made her happy. "The earth loves me?" Toph repeated under her breath, "I've never thought of it like that." Even now Toph could feel it under her feet, hidden beneath the floorboards of Iroh's lovely home within the palace grounds. It had always been an inviting presence, even when she shunned the feeling like it was a disease. Even when she had begged to have her bending taken away the earth still loved her and it had refused to let her go. Back when she was the Blind Bandit she demonstrated feats of bending that had shocked thousands. As Mole, she berated herself for not considering what could have gone wrong but there was a big flaw in her thinking.
Mole had no control over bending but Toph, the Blind Bandit, did. She was in control. Nothing bad would happen if she just focused. Toph took a deep breath and placed her hands on the floorboards. Beneath them, she could feel the brick foundations of the house and beneath that was dirt, rock and sand combined with smaller amounts of salt and gravel. Each element spoke to her like it was trying to grab her attention. It was like listening to birds sing and recognising them by their calls.
"Did you know that the Earth Chakra is located at the base of the spine," Iroh said, not looking at Toph as she knelt on her hands and knees, "It deals with survival but is blocked by fear, is there something you fear?"
"I'm afraid of myself," Toph said resolutely, "I still fear losing control."
"Do you feel in control now?" Toph nodded, "So what do you have to fear?"
Toph smiled. "I have nothing to fear." All of a sudden she felt a surge of energy flow through her body. It was like a floodgate had been opened at the base of her spine and as the energy flowed her fears dissapated. She felt her chi expand out like thousands of tiny spiderwebs all of them gripping the ground below. For the first time in months, she made the critical connection. "I can feel it," Toph said in amazement, "I forgot how this felt. It's like reconnecting with an old friend!"
"Very poetic," Iroh sounded impressed, "But can you Earthbend?"
Toph nodded, "I think...I think I can do it," Toph looked over at Iroh who gave her an encouraging smile. Toph then got to her feet and moved into the garden. She found a rock used to separate the soil from the grass and extended her hand out towards it.
Her bending was rusty and where once a rock this size would have lifted easily, it took a little effort but she managed to lift it and that was what was important right now. There was no fear. No surge of emotion. Just the familiar sensation of connecting with her element. Iroh watched as the rock rose into the air, a wide smile on his face. Toph was also smiling as tears fell down her cheeks.
She felt whole again...