Hey again! So as promised here comes Chapter 6 on Friday. I really wanna know if you guys are enjoying this story so I can continue writing leaving all insecurities aside. Enjoy!
Trigger warnings: Abuse, inappropriate language.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, the characters belong to Dick Wolf but this particular plot is all mine!
I am only human,
And I bleed when I fall down
~human, Christina Perri
The hour was three am in the morning. They were lying in the bed, Rafael asleep with a very much awake Amanda in his arms. She could get used to this. The comfort of a warm hug, the feeling of being loved and taken care of. Something so new and domestic that brought butterflies in her stomach.
She turned her head on the side and looked outside the window. There was no view, just the brick wall of a building, but even though, she couldn't help but smile.
'Maybe, just maybe, life will be good for a change.'
Staring at that brick wall she thought that maybe there was no need for that wall of hers to be up any more. And what if she let people in for once? What if she trusts? What if she let herself be loved and cared for? Yeah, it's going to sting when it all comes to an end, but couldn't she just enjoy the present as it was?
The sound of her iPhone ringing on the Latino boy's nightstand, took her out of her overthinking. When she felt Raf moving next to her she pretended yawning and rubbing her eyes, like she was sleeping, and extended her hand to grab her phone.
"Who the hell is calling you at," He glanced quickly at his phone screen, "3 am?"
When Amanda saw the caller ID she was up and moving with in seconds, while at the same time answering the call with a very concerned voice.
"Okay, Liv, you need to slow down! What happened? WHAT? Okay stay right were you are I am coming. I will be there before you know it." She hang up and started looking for her things.
Everything was happening so fast and Rafael was still half asleep. When he caught up on what was happening he stood in front of Amanda and held her by the shoulders to stop her movements.
"Amanda, what is going on? Is Liv alright?"
"Look Raf," She started pulling away from his touch to grab her jacket that was on the back of Rafael's desk seat. "Liv is gonna be just fine. I just have to go and find her." She put her phone in her pocket and went to get out her friend's bedroom.
"Wait, let me get dressed and I'll come with you."
"No, you won't." She cut him off. "Look, Raf, Liv called me for a reason. Plus we wouldn't be able to explain why we are together anyway. So, let me handle this, 'kay?" When he nodded she got close to him, cupped with her right hand his cheek and gave him a soft kiss on the lips. When had she become so smutty? "I will come back, promise." And with that she left the apartment of a still very confused Rafael Barba.
30 minutes earlier in the Benson apartment
The brunette was sitting her room trying to get some sleep but to no avail. Her mind kept running and running, wondering how different her life could be. How could she be conceived by love. Have both a mom and a dad who loved her, and each other, unconditionally. How could she live in a big house, maybe with a dog.
And now she was here, in a two bedroom, very small apartment, with an alcoholic mother, having to be her own guardian. Having to pick up vodka bottles off the floor or throw them down the drain, occasionally hiding them in hopes that maybe today she wouldn't get drunk. Maybe today she wouldn't get mad. Maybe one day, but not today and probably not tomorrow either.
Afraid of her own emotions she decided to get up and go for a run or just a walk. It might have been a Friday night in Manhattan which meant the chances of her being assaulted murdered or kidnapped were severely increased, but she needed air and she needed it immediately.
She got up and grabbed of the small armchair in her room, the clothes she wore at school today. After rethinking it, she grabbed a baby blue sweater from the closet instead of the T-shirt because chances were, it was going to be a bit cold at this hour of the night outside.
Once ready she grabbed her phone and keys and tried to open the door of her room as quietly as possible. Happy with herself for perfecting the silent walk she smiled and as she was ready to head for the door that would take her away from this suffocating place, a voice from behind her stopped her.
"Where the hell do you think you are going?" She spat out through clenched teeth, her voice low and full of venom.
"Just gonna grab some air. I will be back before you know it. Go to sleep mom." She said and turned around to head for the door that now would be her freedom.
As soon as she reached the handle a strong hand grabbed her forearm and dragged her back to the living room area.
"Don't ever call me that again you stupid cunt!" And with those words Serena Grace Benson, threw her daughter on the floor with every inch of strength that she had left.
"Mom, please." She begged, as her mother grabbed a vodka bottle from the coffee table and threw it at her.
Luckily, Olivia's reflexes were quick enough so the bottle didn't smash on her head. Instead it scraped her arm just a little.
"Shut up! And I said don't call me that word ever again!" She spat on her daughter and stumbled to her room shutting the door with such force that probably woke up the entire building.
The brunette started crying, silently. She checked on her arm and saw a blood stain on her sweater. Unable to think straight she did the first thing that popped up in mind. She took out her phone and went through her contacts looking for the name that would save her once again.
She was running, faster than ever. Her blonde her was getting in her eyes because of the air but that didn't stop her. She just kept running. She needed to get to her friend and make sure she was safe. Olivia on the phone had said through tears and sniffles that things got heated with her mother, that there was blood and to meet her at their regular spot.
Finally she reached the corner and when she turned she came to a stop. What she saw was a very disheveled Olivia Benson, standing in the middle of the pavement, eyes red and swollen and she was agitated. She immediately ran towards her.
"Liv." She whisperer and when the brunette acknowledged her presence Amanda took her into a warm and tight embrace. "Oh, Liv."
Olivia hugged the southern girl back. Right now she needed stability, she needed an anchor and she had just found it.
"Thank you, Amanda." That's the only thing she uttered before she started sobbing so hard that Amanda thought she might stop breathing.
"Okay, honey, I need you to take a deep breath for me. Just try to breathe with me." And she started inhaling and exhaling instructing the girl in her arms, that now felt so small, to do the same.
Once Olivia was calm she let out a sigh. Not a sigh of frustration but a sigh of relief. She pulled away from the embrace to look into the two ocean orbs of the blonde girl in front of her. Amanda then, gave her a reassuring smile that said 'I am here now, everything is gonna be fine.'
"God you are shaking, Liv!" Amanda suddenly noticed. She quickly took off her jacket and put it around her friend, forgetting that her bruises weren't covered. Frankly, she didn't give a damn. Her priority right now was her friend and her friend only.
The light on the streets were bright enough for them to find their way on the edge of the sidewalk and sit. When they did, Olivia turned to look at her savior and gave her a smile. Just when she was about to say something, her smile faded away and her hand shot up to to remove blonde strands that covered a part of Amanda's neck.
"Amanda what the hell is this?" She asked when she noticed the angry purple handprint on her neck.
' Shit.' The blonde thought to herself. With her arm she tried to remove Liv's hand off her but made it even worse because, then,she also had a visual of the ring shaped bruises on her wrists too. And when she completely turned her face towards her a colored cheek appeared.
"Look, this is not about me. You are bleeding we need to get you someth-"
"Cut the crap Rollins!" A now angry Olivia said. "Oh my God." She whispered suddenly all the pieces of the puzzle put together. "Your sister the other day, the poem, even the jacket with 90 degrees outside." Forgetting all about her mother and her own problems in general, she stood up and started pacing up and down.
"Olivia please sit down. You are injured." Amanda now stood up too trying to get a hold on the brunette but failing.
"You too. Why don't we worry about that for a second, huh? We have been talking on and on about me. God, am I really that selfish and self-centered?" She put a hand on her forehead and stopped to stare in the beautiful night sky of Manhattan. "How long has this been going on?" She now turned around to look at the blonde.
"Look, it doesn't matter. It's under control. You know what matters right now? You! So-"
"Amanda, stop!" Liv yelled. She had never heard her yell before. "You have been taking care of all of us. Me with my mother, Fin with his family issues, even Rafael and we all know how proud he can be." She now got close to her and gently took both her hands in hers. "Who has been taking care of you?" She rubbed her thumbs over pale white knuckles.
"I.." Amanda trailed off.
What was she supposed to say? That she was taking care of herself? That Rafael was taking care of her? Didn't her friend have already a lot on her plate?
"You what Amanda?"
Lying wasn't an option. Not now anyway.
"I don't care about myself anymore. But I do care about you. Very much. So let me take care of you first and then I promise I will answer all your questions."
Olivia eventually caved in and they started walking, trying to find the nearest pharmacy to get something to clean up the wound.
The sky was still dark something that Amanda was grateful for. She could still protect her soul. Just for a little while longer.
So tomorrow there is gonna be a second disclosure. Are you excited? Did you like this chapter? Please let me know with a review. You have no idea how much your words motivate me and make me wanna evolve. So just drop a comment or a PM. Have a nice day or night y'all!