Accidentally In Love

The brilliant orange, pink and yellow hues of the sunset splashed across the darkening blue of the evening sky. The air was still and warm around them and, as the time past, tiny pinpoints of sparkling stars started to break through the vast openness above them.

Leaning back on his elbows, he stretched his legs out in front of him, rotating his ankles. Their hike up the mountain had been more taxing on him than he anticipated. While he considered himself physically fit, it had been quite some time since he had been on hike such as this one.

He chanced a quick glace to his right. Beverly was sitting on the blanket next to him, knees pulled into her chest, arms encircling her legs. A sitting position he was quickly learning was her favorite – or at least her go-to. He wondered if she did it for comfort, or as a means of feeling protected and safe. She was looking up at the sky, staring out into the ether…mind a million miles away.

"Penny?"

She continued to gaze at the stars in silence. He was convinced she hadn't heard his question, but before he could ask again, she started to shake her head slightly. "I was just thinking how absolutely gorgeous this view is."

He continued to stare at her, as she stared out across the horizon. "I couldn't agree more."

Reluctantly pulling his eyes from her, he joined her in admiring the beautiful view. It had been almost a week since their conversation about the holodeck. He had carefully taken his time in finding a program he felt they would both enjoy. Something that would be both invigorating and relaxing. While searching the database, he stumbled upon their current adventure – a hike through the gorgeous jungles of Hawaii, complete with majestic waterfalls and even a volcano shrouded in the distance.

In all honestly, he had been extremely excited at the prospect of spending time alone with Beverly. He knew he shouldn't have been. He knew it was wrong…but the moment she had walked into his life she had ignited a feeling in his heart he hadn't felt in a very long time, if ever.

Shifting, she changed her position to match his. He could feel his heart thumping uncontrollably in his chest at her close proximity. Forcing himself to focus on the stars above, he struggled to manage his breathing.

"I almost didn't come today." She looked at him with a sad smile.

Furrowing his brow, he looked at her once again. "Why not?"

"I…" Her voice trailed off as she gathered her thoughts. "I was having second thoughts…because I'm starting to wonder if it's a good idea for us to be spending so much time together." Her eyes were sad as she spoke the words that cut through his heart.

"But you decided to come."

"I did."

Catching each other's eyes, they shared a long, silent moment. As he stared into the depths of blue, a shiver ran though his body. The air between them became thick, charged with the emotions emanating from the both of them. Without breaking their connection, her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. Then, ever so slightly, she bit her bottom lip with her teeth. Just like the night in his quarters. Sucking in a quick breath, he took a moment to try and slow his racing heart. He didn't dare move, not trusting himself not to lean across the space between them to kiss her.

So instead, he watched her.

He watched her eyes become dilated. He watched her chest start to move rapidly with shallow breaths. He watched as she swallowed heavily. He watched as her eyes shifted to his lips, before quickly finding his eyes once again. He watched as a slight flush rose from her chest to find home on her cheeks.

He never wanted to stop watching her.

And just as quickly as it started, the moment ended.

She closed her eyes, ending their connection. Sitting up, she crossed her legs and ran her hands through her hair, letting her head rest in her hands. "What is happening to me?"

He barely heard her; her voice muffled through her hands covering her face. He pushed himself up to sit next to her. Slowly, he reached out to gently touch her shoulder. She jumped at the contact, snapping her head up to look at him. He removed his hand but continued to look at her with concern. "What's the matter?"

And then she laughed. It was a nervous laugh, but a laugh all the same. He loved hearing her laugh. It was a sound he had catalogued away in his brain. One that he recalled any time he wanted to smile.

"Oh, Jean-Luc. I have no idea what's happening to me." She shook her head and chuckled. "I know I shouldn't be laughing, but I just…" She looked at him as her eyes became serious. Not wanting to ignore what she was feeling any longer. Not wanting to pretend there wasn't something between them. "What is happening between us?"

He looked at her with as much raw honesty as he could muster, as his heart once again starting to beat uncomfortably loudly in his chest. "I don't know."

"Don't you?"

He was silent as he carefully chose his words. "I know what I feel. I don't know…what to do about it."

She looked at the man before her. Took in the honestly and affection pouring from his eyes. She knew they were on dangerous ground. She knew it was wrong…but at the same time everything just seemed so right when they were together.

Every cell in her body wanted to reach out and touch him. Just once caress of her fingers against his hand.

It took all the strength she possessed to keep her hands still, safely in her lap.

"I know what I feel too…and it scares me." She felt tears start to pool in her eyes. "We're both married." She looked at him. "What we are feeling…it can't happen, Jean-Luc. It's not right."

And the tears fell as her heart cracked in two.

She noticed his eyes glistening in the moonlight. "I'm so sorry. I never meant to…I didn't anticipate…" Words failing her, she simply looked at him and shrugged.

He nodded, visibly fighting back his emotions.

"I know Jack and I are having a lot of issues right now, but I also have to think of Wesley. He deserves two parents who are going to try and work towards keeping his family together."

Again, Jean-Luc simply nodded. "I know. Jenice deserves the same." He turned to glance up at the bright moon above them. "I haven't been the best husband. My career overshadowed our marriage and, like you, I know I owe her the courtesy to try to make up for that."

"So." Her voice was laced with sorrow.

"So." He echoed her tone.

Turning his attention back towards her, he tentatively reached out to take her hand. She gave it to him willingly, squeezing it tightly as they sat in silence enjoying their last moments together, the air around them turning cold, almost as if it recognized their heartache.

"So…I think it's probably best we don't spend time together anymore. No more lunches. No holodeck adventures…" Sighing, she shook her head and hid her eyes, praying she could curtail the sobs threatening to bubble up in her throat.

"I understand. As much as it pains me, I agree it's the best course." Giving her hand one last squeeze, he reluctantly let go.

They continued to sit for a little while, neither wanting their last moments together to end. Eventually, they terminated the program and made their way back into the corridor.

"So that's that, I suppose." She gave him a sad look, then quickly glanced around them. They were alone. Reaching up, she gave him a lingering kiss on the corner of his mouth. Pulling back, she stared intently into his eyes, using what little strength remained to hold back her desire. "I'm going to miss you, Jean-Luc."

With that, she left him. Making her way down the hallway, she allowed her tears to fall once again as she fought with every ounce of energy she had left not to turn around.

Accidentally in Love, written by Adam Duritz, Dan Vickrey, David Bryson, Matt Malley and David Immerglück, performed by Counting Crows