The next morning, May woke at her usual time and went through her morning routine before heading downstairs for tai chi like she usually did. Yesterday's events were slowly catching up with her in her brain, and she was wondering whether it was all some weird fever dream, until she saw Daisy in her workout gear gazing into the med bay. May approached silently, and Daisy smiled before moving aside and letting her watch too.
Skye and the other May had already started their routine, though with the lights dimmed as Coulson was still asleep. The other May didn't acknowledge them, too immersed in the motions as May knew she would be, but Skye gave a smile and a small wave when she caught sight of them.
"It's really nice to know this," Daisy said, almost in a whisper. She looked very content, more so than May had ever seen her. May gave her a look that prompted her to continue her thought.
"I mean," Daisy said, fidgeting with the the ends of her hair. "I spent most of my life wondering if I had a family, people who cared about me. And I found that with SHIELD. And it's just…it's really nice to know that in every universe, I always have you and Coulson with me. I always have a family no matter what universe I'm in."
"Of course," May said. "I'm not surprised at all." Daisy smiled gratefully at the woman she saw as her mother. Then a mischievous twinkle entered her eyes.
"And in every universe, you and Coulson are always together," Daisy nudged May, "so hmm, how about this one too?"
May rolled her eyes and tried to keep herself from blushing, which would only fuel the younger agent's long-standing quest to get her and Coulson together.
"Come on, we're late for our own tai chi as it is," May said, ignoring Daisy's previous comment and steering her towards the gym. And May was glad for the calming familiar routine, as she tried to relax while wondering how in the world she would explain all this to Coulson when he came back.
The next week was a blur for May. Although nothing else major happened within that time, their new visitors caused quite a stir. Schedules were rearranged so that a team could investigate the Coulsons' plane and work on repairs and parts replacement. Fitz and Mack were fascinated with the blueprints and had uploaded the schematics to their own network to study at a later time, to see how they could be applied to their own vessels. Coulson's recovery was slow but steady, and May suspected Simmons quite enjoyed chatting with the person who was so remarkably like their own beloved Director. Skye and her mother, meanwhile, had spearheaded their research into their universe, and were interviewing the agents about events that had taken place, Skye doing most of the questions and the other May doing most of the recording.
Daisy and Skye had become fast friends, to no one's surprise, and they could be found eagerly exchanging stories about their respective universes on a regular basis. May also spent a lot of time with her counterpart, though this was mostly research based. They would interview each other on the other's universe, May recording what might be useful to their own initiatives, and the other May collecting research and sharing what information she could about what worked for their SHIELD when facing certain situations.
The silence wasn't awkward, since both women preferred the silence to focus, and each concentrated on her own tasks when information wasn't being shared. Despite the busyness though, May had a burning desire to ask how she and Coulson had started a relationship and gotten married and had a daughter, despite all the trials she was sure they had. But May knew herself, and it wasn't likely that she would want to answer such a personal question. And of course, it had also been nagging at her that their Coulson hadn't called back with a check in since that fateful day when the Coulsons first arrived, and she was starting to worry.
She must have been fidgeting and glancing at the phone more than she thought, because the other May eventually broke the silence and asked, "He hasn't called to check in for a while, has he?"
"What?" May said, taken by surprise.
"You forget that I've been there too," the other May said, setting down her laptop and taking a sip of her tea. "When my husband first became Director, he wouldn't check in for weeks. Skye was still young then, and she would cry thinking that something terrible happened to him. Trying to raise my daughter while worrying about my husband wasn't the most fun for me. I gave him a good talking to every time he got back, but never had the heart to be truly mad. He's always so worried about others that he doesn't realize that others can worry about him. He finally started improving when Skye yelled at him one time and threw a tantrum. I think he was never so scared in his life," the other May added wryly. May grinned. She could picture Coulson caving to anything that would make Daisy happy too.
"That sounds like our Coulson too," May said. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "I've been meaning to ask, if it isn't too intrusive, how you two…"
"How we ended up together?" the other May supplied, and May nodded, glad that the other woman didn't seem mad. In fact, she gave a sympathetic smile, and set down her mug.
"I've been through Bahrain too," the other May said softly, and May knew instantly that they shared the same depth of pain and emotion regarding that event. "And I didn't think I deserved happiness, or a family, after that. And if you're like me, which I think you are, then I'm sure you felt the same way. Still feel, maybe," and May could only swallow and look away.
"I transferred to administration, I was done with field work," the other May continued. "I shut myself out from everything and everyone, but Phil was the only person who continued to try to reach out, regardless of my lack of response. He would keep me updated on all the work he was doing with the Avengers. He brought me food when he was in town. Sent me flowers on my birthdays and on holidays. And he was so patient, so gentle, never prodded me to share or do more than I felt comfortable with. He never snapped back when I was impatient or rude like I was with everyone else, never gave up even when I tried to drive him away with my cold shoulder and unresponsiveness. And I gradually realized I loved him, but I think I already loved him long before that."
May nodded quietly. It was so, so similar to her own story, her own emotions. So similar to how Coulson had been with her after her Bahrain.
"When I heard he died, I…" the other May paused, and exhaled. "I'll spare you the details, because I'm sure you've felt all this too." May nodded, remembering her own anguish, which felt worse than Bahrain at the time, and at times still stabbed her with its pain. "After TAHITI, I realized I was given a second chance that no one else gets," the other May continued. "And I was determined to protect him and never let him out of my sight again." The other May lifted her chin in defiance. "He's what SHIELD needs, and will always need, he's what the world needs. And he's what I need. The other agents always joked about how I would follow him to the grave, and I wasn't ashamed to admit that I would. And I told him all that. And the rest is history," the other May finished.
"I…But how did you…" May started, unsure, really, of what she was asking.
"It was hard," the other May admitted. "Initially, I was afraid he wouldn't return my feelings. Then, I was afraid that if I tried my shot at happiness it would crash and burn around me. Then after we got married, it was the fear that we had more to lose if something happened to either one of us during missions. And I was really, really afraid when I had Skye, of what it would mean for me to be a mother. And then trying to rebuild SHIELD together those long years while raising Skye at the same time, with him being Director. It was hard for Skye too, growing up in a spy agency with both her parents often being more busy than not. I guess this family research ship is a way for making up for lost time," she said, a fond smile gracing her face. "But for all the hardships we endured to get to where we are now, I wouldn't change a thing. I wouldn't trade what we have now for the world. So whatever fears you're facing about taking the leap," the other May met her eyes. "It's all worth it. Trust me."
May's heart was in turmoil. The whispered 'what if?' in her heart that she'd thought about more than she'd wanted to admit all these years, was growing louder and louder. And she couldn't help the tiny sapling of hope that had begun to spring up at the other May's words.
"Isn't this kind of, you know, altering the timeline and what not? If you tell me all this?" May said jokingly, trying to lighten the heavy mood as she attempted to sort out her feelings.
The other May tilted her head in acknowledgement. "Usually when visiting other universes we have disguises, and we don't tell people our full names or that we're a family. But Skye was panicking when we got here and already spilled about her father, and we didn't have time to get disguises together. But in regards to this," here the other May smiled. "I don't think I'm telling you anything you don't already know."
May pondered all this for a while, work forgotten on the coffee table in front of her. Her mind and heart wrestled with the possibilities. But the living proof in front of her spoke volumes that this, a life with the one she loved for longer than she could remember, could work out.
"Oh," the other May added, a playful twinkle in her eye. "And don't wait for him to make the first move. You will literally have to wait forever."
May laughed, but anxiety twisted at her stomach. "Why's that?" she asked hesitantly.
The other May waved her hand nonchalantly. "You're Phil's right hand, you're too important to him. He wouldn't risk that for anything, not even his own happiness. He respects you too much and doesn't want to risk doing anything that might scare you away. So he'll keep his mouth shut about it, but he'll literally show you in any other way possible that he loves you. But I'm sure deep down, you know that too."
May knew she did. She thought of all the times she'd had his back, but also when he had hers. The years working together as partners on missions. The tenderness in his smile when he saw her, even if she was grouchy. The gentle way he treated her wounds after an op. The way he bared his soul to her, and how she knew him better than anyone, and he knew her better than anyone. The look in his eyes when he told her he trusted her, and no one else. And May remembered the panic of hearing about his death in New York, monitoring him apprehensively after TAHITI, seeing him begging to die in the memory machine, the time he had vanished into the mirror dimension, and the most recent memory of him being shot in the Framework. Even though she didn't have her memories in the Framework, the thought of him dying was just as unbearable in there.
May resolved then, that she would tell him everything when he got back. As Phil had always gently reminded her, she had punished herself for long enough after Bahrain. Why shouldn't she take her shot at happiness? And she had the perfect opening for the topic anyways, when she'll have to debrief him on this recent mission. The butterflies of nervousness were fluttering around in her gut, but she had hope. Phil would understand, she thinks, without her having to say everything, in the way only he could.
The other May must have sensed her resolve, because she smiled. "Invite us to the wedding when it comes along. We'd love to be there."
May managed a weak laugh and hoped she wasn't blushing. "That's getting a little far ahead of ourselves, don't you think?"
"Maybe," the other May shrugged, unperturbed. "But what I know for certain, is that there is no universe out there where Melinda May's happiness is complete without Phil Coulson."
May smiled to herself. No spoilers there, she thought. She already knew that too.