I went with something different for this chapter. Again, a bit of a lengthy one. The story will start to pick up shortly . As always please review!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Star Wars Story. Just a fan wanting to write.

Chapter 6

Ben Solo

I feel the warmth of her hands on my face. She is smiling, she has such a beautiful smile. I can't help but return one. I haven't felt this much joy since the last time I was with my mother, who I could feel slipping away.

I feel the numbness begin in my fingertips and my toes. It spreads to up my arms and my legs. I know what's about to happen. I saw her there, lying cold and lifeless on the floor. She had done so much good in her life, so innocent. I on the other hand had become a monster. I destroyed everything in my path to become the ultimate Sith leader.

I had placed my hand on her stomach, trying to pass some of my life force to her to bring her back to me. I realized quickly that it would take everything I had to bring her back. I would do it, without question.

It slowly continues to spread up my arms and legs into my core. I don't have much time left with her, but I have so much I had wanted to say. I feel myself start to fall backwards; her grip tightens around me. I see her expression of sadness, as everything starts to fade to black.

I jolt awake from what feels like a deep and somber sleep. I bring my body up to a seated position realizing I was laying on a cold rocky surface of what seemed like a cave. It was pitch black; I could hardly see anything. There seemed to be a damp, pungent smell that filled the air. I was still wearing the long blue sweater I had been wearing on Exegol, holes in the sleeves of the arms. My long dark hair still fell around my face that harboured cuts from my fight with the knights of Ren.

I felt sore. My arms weak and my legs felt shaky. I push myself from where I sat to a standing position. I look all around to survey my surroundings, there must be some indication as to where I could be. I see two different tunnels leaving from the place I awoke. Neither looked different than the other. If I truly hadn't died when I transferred my life force to her, then I needed to find a way out of this cave. I take the path directly to my left, not really sure of where it would take me.

As I descend further and further on this pathway, I start to hear voices and whispering. I increase my pace to see who it could be. I hear her voice. Rey.

"I'd rather not do this right now" she says. She is outside, walking along a cliffside. They sky is becoming dark. I can see her so clearly. Where is she? I hear my own voice…

"Yeah, me too" I've heard this before. It was one of our first encounters, only before I couldn't see her surroundings. Why could I now?

"Why did you hate your father?" she questions me. I sense her heartbreak. He was the first person she felt a parental connection to. My own father. The truth of the matter was I didn't hate him, our bond was not as strong as I wished it had been, but I never hated him.

She turned to look at me, I see her eyes shift to the ground. I remember now. I was in my chambers on my ship, I had no shirt on. I blush thinking of her reaction to this.

"Do you have something, a cowl or something you could put on" I hear her huff as she is annoyed that she needed to ask me to put a shirt on. My heart starts racing seeing her. Especially this moment, when we first felt a real connection to one another.

"Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer" she asked again. Her agitation is getting stronger and stronger, I can see it in the way her body is moving as she is speaking. Her voice begins to show more emotion, she is on the brink of tears.

"You had a father who loved you! He gave a damn about you!" She is shouting at me now. I see the tears streaming from her eyes. She is jealous of my childhood life. She grew up with no one, and she is jealous of the thought that I had two parents. I can only assume she feels that I threw it all away.

"I didn't hate him" I remained calm speaking to her. I wish I would have said more at this moment.

"Then why?" her body is so tense. I did what I felt I had to do at that moment with my father on that bridge. I was Kylo Ren, my mind told me to kill him. I felt guilt over it, immensely. I wanted her to know that. But again, in this moment I was Kylo Ren. I wouldn't explain that to her.

"Why what?" my voice sounds annoyed at her questioning my actions. I still cannot see myself, but I remember searing at her. I see her release a heavy breath. I hear my voice continue on trying to get a rise out of her.

"Why what? Say it." I feel like a jerk, in the moment I didn't care, but now reliving this moment I realized I wasn't kind.

"Why did you.." she is choking back tears "why did you kill him? I don't understand" she finally says. Meaning she would never have killed someone who she loved, who showed her love in return. One of the many reasons she thought I was a monster, and I was.

I could no longer hear her voice and I could no longer hear mine. I remember my response after she said this. I was trying to tear her down, belittle her. I see her appearance start to fade away, and behind her I see another path that would take me away from this memory.

I start to press forwards. I can see a light at the end of this pathway. I follow through until I walk out into Snoke's throne room on his ship. He is already dead, having died at my hands. I see us both, Rey and I, fighting the Praetorain guards. She moves swiftly to match my motions as we both battle. I remember feeling her strength in this moment. Her ability to stand against Snoke as he used the force against her. Her ability to fight numerous opponents with ease. I also remember feeling fortunate, she could have easily killed me while I was distracted, but she didn't.

On my right I see another path leading from the throne room. I turn a stride towards it. I relive another memory. I was looking for her on Kijimi. I struggled to find her not realizing she was on my ship. We were connected, battling it out with our sabers. I remember feeling so desperate to have her at my side, to rule with me. But I remember this outcome, she leaves again, and I felt defeated. I pushed past this memory and follow the path to the next one.

I continue to move until I come into a dark open space. I can't see anything. I can feel her though, I sense her presence around me.

"Hello?" I hear the echo all around me. No one was here, just me.

I feel almost a buzzing sensation on my left, instinctively I say, "On your left". I remain calm not knowing where she is or what she is doing. I feel her struggling. She is fighting someone. I still can't see who. I begin to hear the sounds of two sabers clashing. Her presence isn't fully there, this isn't a memory, she must be dreaming. I feel her grow tired and weak.

"Focus Rey, fight back". I feel her grip tighten around her own weapon, almost like I am holding it in my own hands. She is pushing back fighting ba-. My eyes grow wide as I feel immense pain that takes over my body. It's in my abdomen but I look down to see no wound. Rey. She must have been struck by the saber. I grow concerned for her; she is struggling to catch her breath. It's just a dream, she needs to wake up.

"Rey, it's ok. Focus and you'll wake up. It's only a nightmare Rey, it isn't real". I try to keep her calm to get her awake. I can't physically be there for her; I can't hold her and shake her out of this.

Almost like a snap of the fingers, I feel her much stronger than she was. She did it. She isn't sleeping, but she is still struggling to catch her breathe.

"Breathe" I try to tell her. I don't know how I am communicating with her. I wasn't able too before this, I only relived memories up until this point. I try to keep her calm so she can snap out of these feelings she is having.

"Rey, it's over, your awake. Breathe". I feel her start to settle down. As she regains her breathes, I feel her slip away, fading into the darkness all around me. I call out for her.

"Rey?" but I still feel nothing. Not her panic, or her calm. I can't feel the pain she was feeling from her wound in her dream. She was there. I couldn't see her, but I knew she was there. I was growing annoyed. My hands closing into fists as I squeeze them hard. I hadn't died on Exegol, or if I did, I was stuck somewhere, a place I could hopefully leave.

I had to find her, speak to her again. I press on further down the endless tunnels that make this cave. Reliving so many memories, not just of her, but my parents… my childhood. I felt so many emotions stepping in and out of those moments that I had previously lived, guilt, happiness, anxiety, sadness.