She wanted to crawl into a hole and hide, mortified by the events that transpired with the Captain the night before. She could still feel his lips upon her own, taste the alcohol on his breath. Shame poured over her as she sat upon the side of her bed, running her hands over her tired face. She didn't want to go down for breakfast, unsure if she could even look at him after what had happened.
She prayed endlessly the night before, apologizing, seeking guidance, hoping to erase what had happened. The worst part of all was that she had enjoyed every moment of it at the time. If he had touched her more intimately, pushed a little more, she would have allowed it all to continue until their lips were bruised. And that fact terrified her.
After another quick prayer for strength, she took a deep breath and exited her bedroom. The house was quiet, and she entered the dining room to find it empty. She was never the first one to arrive to...well, anything, so it was a bit disconcerting. Food and drinks were laid out upon the counter, so she filled her plate and sat in her designated chair. She began eating quietly as her mind continued to nag at her for her transgressions.
"Good morning, Fraulein." The Captain entered the room looking put together and perfect, as usual. He smiled at her and began filling his plate. "How are you this morning?"
"Fine, thank you." He seemed completely unaffected, as if he hadn't been pressed against her body the night before. He sat in his own seat, not even appearing to be hungover or anything. She was terribly confused. "Are you well this morning?"
"Oh quite! I'm expecting a visit from my sister and my niece today. I haven't seen her in a while." He took a bite of his breakfast, and she simply stared at him, confused. Did he really have no memory of the night before? "Fraulein?"
"That sounds wonderful. I wasn't aware you had a sister." She recovered the best she could, taking a bite of her own food as the Baroness entered the room. She ate as quickly as was proper and excused herself, grabbing a book and heading to the garden to make sense of things.
It was entirely possible that he didn't remember, she thought. He had been very intoxicated. But she couldn't decide why she felt hurt instead of elated that he had forgotten. She knew she wasn't the most romantically experienced person in the world, but she definitely knew how to kiss.
She scolded herself for being silly and sat beneath a tree in the garden, listening to the sounds of the lake moving against the breeze. There was no reason for her to allow the incident with the Captain to occupy her mind, especially if he had no memory of it anyway. It was a beautiful day, calm and relaxing. She quickly lost herself in her book, the sounds of birds chirping above lulling her into another world.
Time must have carried on without her, as she didn't move from her place until the sounds of a crying baby echoed toward her from the veranda. She looked up to see the Captain and the Baroness sitting with another woman, presumably the Captain's sister. He caught her eye and waved her over, her heart catching in her throat. She had no reason to be nervous.
"Hede, I'd like you to meet Fraulein Maria. She's the children's governess for the summer." She smiled and shook hands, noting that her eyes were strikingly similar to her brother's. Her face was bare of makeup, and her hair was dark and laid over her shoulders, which was rare for upper class society women that she was used to seeing. She would have expected her to look much less casual or less common, even.
"It's lovely to meet you. And who is this?" Maria smiled at the baby on her lap, who could not have been more than six months old.
"Oh this is my daughter, Nora."
"She's beautiful! Hallo there." She knelt down and spoke in a happy voice to the baby, who smiled joyfully.
"I can't even get her to smile like that." Hede's joking tone caused her to laugh, and the women shared a smile. She liked her immediately.
"Well Fraulein Maria is the governess, after all. She could watch little Nora for a bit." The Baroness offered, which Maria didn't necessarily appreciate. She loved babies and would have been happy to play with the child for a bit, but she did not work for the Baroness. Luckily, the Captain came to her rescue.
"Fraulein Maria is technically on vacation while the children are away." He gave her a reassuring smile, which she returned.
"Oh no, Captain, I don't mind at all, really."
"You should enjoy your time off, dear." Hede's words were soft, much like the Captain's had been. Such a vast difference from the Baroness, she noticed. Perhaps all high society people were not the same; she chastised herself, of course they weren't.
"No really. I do love babies. The Captain's children are a bit difficult to hold." Hede smiled at her joke before she handed Nora to Maria. She smiled with joy when she balanced the baby upon her hip, making her way down the steps with the little bag of toys her mother brought. "We'll just be in the garden. Enjoy yourselves."
"She is quite charming, Georg." Hede smiled as she watched Maria find a place in the shade to play with her daughter. The Baroness rolled her eyes. "You disagree, Elsa?"
"Oh, no!" She was clearly caught off guard. "She's lovely. She's a postulant, you know. I suppose it comes with the territory."
"I suppose." Hede raised her eyebrows at Georg, who only just turned his gaze away from the governess, who had by then laid out a little baby blanket and begun singing nursery rhymes, much to the child's delight. He met her eyes, obviously knowing he was caught leering.
"Elsa, you have a phone call." Max popped his head out the door, holding a plate of something delicious he clearly swiped from the kitchen. She smiled and excused herself, leaving the brother and sister alone.
"So what do you think of her?" Hede shrugged, taking a sip of her tea and giving him a mischievous look.
"Elsa or the governess?"
"I beg your pardon?" He feigned ignorance, but knew it was no use. She could always read him like a book.
"Don't patronize me." He sighed, looking back to the house to make certain no one was listening. He would have died if Elsa heard anything about the night before.
"I kissed her last night."
"Georg!"
"I was terribly drunk, and she found me sulking. She helped me upstairs, and I couldn't stop myself." She rolled her eyes, looking out to see Maria laughing and tickling the baby.
"She seems unfazed."
"She thinks I don't remember. I've been playing as such all day."
"Honestly. You haven't spoken to her about it? Apologized, even?" He shrugged, taking a sip of his lemonade and sighing.
"I don't feel the need to apologize. She rather seemed to enjoy it." He recalled the sounds of her sighs when he deepened the kiss, and it made him feel warm.
"Arrogant man. She's a postulant. You should be apologizing based on that."
"She's quite different, though. I don't ever feel like I'm talking to a postulant with her. The way she looks at me..."
"The way you look at her." He rolled his eyes, wishing she wasn't so observant.
"I'm going to marry Elsa." Hede nodded, understanding that he didn't want to delve deeper into their prior conversation.
"She's a beautiful woman. A bit bitchy for my liking." He laughed, knowing his sister would be nothing other than brutally honest. He didn't need for her and Maria to actually begin a conversation then, he mused.
"She can be crass at times, but she really has a kind heart."
"She hates children."
"Not at all...why would you say that?" She laughed, talking another sip of her tea before answering.
"Let's see, she rolls her eyes every time you speak of yours, and she shoved mine off on the governess the first chance she could. How do your children feel about her?" He sighed, knowing his answer wouldn't be sufficient.
"They're trying."
"Which is more than you can say for her?" He scoffed, angrily meeting her eyes.
"Why do you do that? Don't put words in my mouth."
"I'm only stating the obvious. Your fiancée hates your children, and you want to ball the governess. Yes?" He was about to angrily respond when Elsa returned, smiling and completely oblivious to the conversation at hand.
Maria accepted a gentle hug from the baby, snuggling against her soft hair. She desperately wished she hadn't stopped singing, for then she wouldn't have been able to hear Hede's last words floating toward her from the veranda.