She's almost back at the base. It's late at night and she hopes she'll have a couple hours of sleep before tomorrow-morning's training.

Petra likes it when she is not in military uniform.

Her father said she was very cute in that blue dress.

Her mother rolled her eyes saying: "What's the point in being girly now? You should have had those interests seven years ago, before you joined the military. Now it's too late".

Her sister made a sexy "arrr" sound and asked: "Do you think captain Levi will like this dress? Even if he doesn't, you can just take it off. Maybe he'll like you more that way".

Petra can only laugh as she remembers the past few days with her family. As her trip back to base comes to its end, she finds herself torn between the two families she has: her biological and the one waiting for her back in the base.

And then it hits her: they have never met one another.

But Petra is sure her parents will like the boys, if they ever meet them. After all, they liked the dress they bought for her.

It was one year ago. Funny story.

"You ask him, Petra!"

"Yeah, he can't say no to you!"

"If any of us asks, he'll burn us alive! Please, Petra!"

The young woman rolled her eyes and let out a sigh. Most times she doubted her comrades' mental age.

"Guys, that's not true. You really think the captain treats me differently?"

Three pair of eyes stared at her.

"Duh!"

"Obviously!"

"Yep".

"Well, you are wrong!" Petra folded her arms in front of her chest and wrinkled her nose. How can they think that? "He will be equally pissed whether I ask him or one of you does".

"Yeah, but he won't put you on for toilet duty for one month! He has never done that to you" Gunther said.

"That's because I'm a responsible and respectful soldier!"

"And because the captain has a crush on you" Oluo added with a playful smirk.

How childish! "You're just making up scenarios to pass your boring time". Petra tried to laugh. She had never been a good actor, but it sounded plausible. "All you guys ever think about is hook ups and drinks!"

"No, we don't!" Eld protested.

"You just asked me to convince the captain to let you go to the beer festival!"

"Well, it's not only beer! There will be sausages and steaks too".

"And a market. You'll see, Petra, you'll have a great time!"

"Please, Petra! The captain will only listen to you".

"I honestly don't know why you assume that" Petra snorted in disbelief. "The captain will hate the idea, whoever tells him".

"Come on, Pet!" Gunther proceeded to make puppy eyes. "We only ask for a small favor".

"We'll take care of your laundry for a month!" Oluo volunteered.

"As if I trust your cleaning skills!" Petra snapped out.

"Don't tell us you stick to the captain's standards! Wow, you are really dazzled by him, aren't you?"

"I have to go clean my room" Petra said vexed and stormed off.

She heard them go outdoors when she reached the end of the corridor.

Why are they so stupid? What an absurd idea! Me and the captain? As if! How can they say such—

"Don't let anyone force you into something you don't want to" the captain's apathetic voice startled her.

She straightened her back and brought her fist to her heart.

"It's pathetic" he continued. "Those dorks must learn to speak up for themselves".

"C-Captain, were you listening?" she asked with a trembling voice.

"Lower your fist. Or better yet, use it to punch the morons' faces".

She didn't know if she should laugh. It was funny, but his tone was dead-serious.

Petra relaxed from her salute and rubbed the back of her head awkwardly.

"They are not morons, sir. Maybe a little, but they just want to have some fun once in a while. They deserve it after all their hard work. Not that it's too much! In fact, we quite enjoy it!"

Levi stood there in silence.

He hadn't dismissed her yet, but Petra wasn't sure if he'd tell her anything else. Maybe he forgot her? Should she cough? Remind him of her presence somehow?

Suddenly the captain leaned back against the wall and groaned.

"If they don't go the festival, they will hold a grudge against you for at least two weeks. I don't want this kind of shit in my squad. I guess calling off training just once isn't that big of a deal".

"So… You'll let them go to the festival?"

"You think I shouldn't?"

"No, I think… I think that whatever you decide is right. You know better. A subordinate shouldn't express an opinion".

Levi straightened himself up and brought his face uncomfortably close to Petra's, while placing his hands on her shoulders.

"I asked for your opinion, Petra".

The woman was in loss of words.

He let go of her and rubbed his temples.

"They can go to the festival".

"Really?" Petra gasped in surprise.

Instead of a proper response, he continued looking at her with the same serious expression.

"Great! I'll let them know!" she bowed to excuse herself. But before she could walk away, she turned around and added: "You should come with us, sir! It'll be fun".

"I'm certainly not going. Neither are you".

Did she hear right? "Am I… punished?"

"No. How old are you, Petra? Twenty? Twenty-one?"

"Twenty-two in a couple months actually, sir" she replied, unsure of what that had to do with anything.

"I don't trust those shitty brats to stay sober. And I can't let them accompany a young lady if they can't vouch for her safety".

"Sir, with all due respect, I don't need—"

"Yeah, I knew you'd protest. Maybe you are right. I may be a little overprotective, but my point still stands. Besides, you don't want to take care of three drunk men, right?"

He had a point.

Petra nodded in agreement, with a melodic chuckle.

"I would come along, despite my very judgement, so you wouldn't be left alone with them. But you don't even want to go to the festival, so why pressure ourselves?"

"Yeah, I guess I agree" she laughed nervously. "Hm, there are no left-overs for dinner. How about I make some pasta?"

"Don't bother with that. It was Eld's turn to make dinner. We've already done our share of cooking for the week".

"Well, we gotta eat something" she chuckled.

"Since the shit-heads are taking a night out, so should we".

"What do you mean?"

"Try to remember if you know any good restaurants in the area. Choose whatever you want, I don't mind. The only thing I ask is they're better be clean".

"Captain? I… I don't understand".

He brought his hand to his forehead and rolled his grey eyes. "You are not an idiot, Petra. Don't act like it. We leave at eight o'clock precisely. Don't be late".

"You mean… we'll go out… just you and me?"

"If you want to invite anyone else, go on. I don't care".

"No, it's fine! Eight o'clock. Noted!" she bowed and left hastily, before he could see her blushing.

"Good news, guys!" she shouted joyfully as she entered the stables.

Petra was excited that the boys would go to the festival they had been dreaming about. Just that. There wasn't any other reason to cause her such enthusiasm!

"Don't tell me you asked him!" Eld said, eyes full of hope.

Well, technically she didn't. But instead of providing a direct answer, she only let them know that: "The captain has agreed to the beer festival and has cancelled today's training".

Loud expressions of excitement filled the air, so much that Petra had to cover her ears. A quick kiss on her left cheek surprised her.

"I knew you'd do it!" Eld ruffled her auburn hair.

"Hey, you already have a girl! Don't mess with Petra. If the captain sees you, he'll beat you up, and most importantly he won't let us go to the beer festival!" Gunther nudged Eld.

"Thank you, Petra!" Oluo patted her on the shoulder. "You'll see you won't regret it. We'll have a great time".

"Oh… I'm not coming along" she waved her hand in the air.

"What?" three voices uttered in shock.

"You'll miss all the fun!"

"Are you sure?"

"Stuck here on a Saturday night, you poor thing?"

"Thanks for your concern" Petra said, "but I'll be fine. The captain and I will go downtown to grab something to eat".

The boys' first reactions were a few gasps of shock, but the impressed looks on their faces didn't take long to appear.

"You're going on a date with the captain?" Gunther raised his right eyebrow.

"What? No! It's not a date!"

"It's a man and a woman going out together. Of course it's a date!" Oluo said.

"It's not like that!"

"I knew you were his favorite shitty brat" Eld smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Petra. We won't be back 'till morning. If the date goes well… you'll have all the base to yourself afterwards" Oluo elbowed her.

Petra's face became as red as her hair and she slapped him.

"Ouch! I was only kidding!"

"That's why you bottled up the courage to go and talk to him!" Eld laughed. "It wasn't about the beer festival, you actually wanted to ask him out on a date!"

"Eld, stop it!" Petra placed a finger on his torso. "I didn't even suggest it!"

"The captain asked you out? That shortie is a player after all!" Gunther clapped his hands amused.

"It took him two years, but he finally went for the girl" Oluo didn't hesitate to comment again after the slap.

Petra made an "ough!" sound and walked away, her patience all ran-out. She tried to ignore their voices:

"Have fun tonight!"

"Good luck!"

"Show him who is the boss!"

She was already ready by 19:30.

She was sitting on her bed, unable to do anything else than wait. She shouldn't be nervous, it wasn't a date.

Petra felt a weird disturbance in her stomach. Maybe she should call it off? No, it was too late for that. What would the captain think if she cancelled last minute?

Well, he wasn't a monster. Of course he would understand and prioritize her health. Perhaps he'd even prepare a hot soup for her?

No, no. Staying in bed was out of the question.

She got up and decided to brush her hair one last time, to keep her mind busy. Her reflection in the mirror caught her eyes. She came closer, noticing all the details in her face. Her scattered freckles, her rosy cheeks, her pale lips… She couldn't help but wonder: Was she beautiful? Beautiful enough for a man maybe?

"Welcome to the Merry Pigeons! What can I get you?"

She was a sweet, good-looking waitress. Petra couldn't explain why, but as soon as she came to their table, she felt a hint of… jealousy?

The uniform every waitress was wearing in the Merry Pigeons was a little too… revealing, for Petra's taste. Not that it didn't look good on Emma (as her label indicated). She must have been around Petra's age, but certainly a lot more gifted.

Petra felt extremely uncomfortable as Emma was leaning on their table asking for their order and wished from the bottom of her heart that her two… pigeons wouldn't draw Levi's attention.

And Petra was just sitting there in her military attire. That wasn't fair! She should have worn a more feminine outfit. It was a night-off either way. She had a few dresses that could attract her captain's curiosity and could very well make him—

No, no!

It sounded like a good idea in her mind, but in reality she would never do such thing! What was wrong with her? Why was she thinking things like that?

"Do you need more time?" Emma asked with a gentle smile.

"I'll have the roasted duck combo, please" Petra said.

"Make it two" Levi, who didn't even bother to check the menu, added.

"Sure thing" Emma wrote down on her notebook. "Anything else?"

"Please, don't add the prune sauce in the one of the two combos" Petra said. She remembered that the captain was never fond of these 'disgusting purple nightmares' as he called the prunes.

When Emma left, Petra felt more at ease. She had him all to herself.

"I'm sorry for interfering with your food order, captain".

"No, you did me a favor. Thanks".

She opened her mouth, but then thought twice and decided that it would be best if she didn't say what she had in mind. Hopefully he didn't notice. She would be desperately curious to ask him this question, but she wouldn't risk making a fool out of herself.

Petra took some sips from her tea, while there was an awkward silence in their booth, before Levi abruptly spoke up.

"Say it, Ral".

He only called her by her last name on training sessions. Maybe that meant he was giving her an order? She had a night off, however she still felt obliged to reply.

"Why did you want to dine with me, captain?"

"We eat together every night", he raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Yes, but not alone. Not like this. You know, in a restaurant and—"

"So, your problem is the restaurant?"

"No. I didn't say there's a problem! I just was curious about… you know… why did you… Never mind! I'd better drink my tea while it's hot".

Oh, there wasn't any left.

"We're just eating together, you don't have to dwell on it too much" he murmured.

"Yes, sir".

Petra tried not to stare when Emma arrived with their dishes.

But she did catch herself staring at her captain from time to time. Thankfully he was too busy with his food to notice.

Why was she acting so strange?

Captain Levi was a bit more talkative than usual. There were still many awkward (at least for Petra) pauses between the different topics they discussed about, but nothing too long. He even initiated some topics!

That man was a mystery. Petra was in his squad for two years and she still had a lot to learn about him.

When they exited the restaurant, it was already dark.

He suggested to take the long way home. The weather encouraged a night walk. Besides, they hadn't trained today, so this sort of physical exercise would be beneficial.

The mesmerizing sight of the river sure made up for the few extra minutes they had to walk due to not taking the short-cut through the town.

Walking next to the flowing water, the crystal moon reflecting perfectly in its wavy surface, seemed so surreal. Petra thought she was in one of those fairytale books she used to read when she was a child.

There were lanterns in all colors to light the path, although the moon was eminently bright tonight.

"It must be full moon" Petra thought as she gazed up.

It seemed it was a popular spot for romantic expeditions and public affections. With all that people around them holding hands, Petra felt somewhat jealous.

"Petra? I need to ask you something important" her companion drew her attention. "But answer honestly, okay?"

"Is that why we're here alone? S-so you could ask me this question?" Petra mumbled.

"Partially".

"Um… What is it?"

They kept walking at the same pace.

He didn't talk right away and for a moment Petra thought he had forgotten (either what he wanted to say or talking in general).

"Are you happy here, Petra?"

"Huh? By the river? Yeah, I think it's very romantic! I mean… not in a weird sense! Just in general. It doesn't have to be romantic for us! But there are other couples around that—Not that we are a couple! I mean, sure, we are a couple of soldiers. But not a couple as in… Yeah, I think the river looks great!"

"I didn't mean that. I meant…" he turned to look at her directly, "are you happy in our squad?"

That was a weird question.

"Of course, sir" she frowned in confusion. "What makes you doubt that?"

"Are you happy just because it's the elite squad? Or are you actually satisfied with the environment?"

"I can't deny that it's a huge privilege and honor to be in the Special Operations Squad. But to me it's not only that. It's the people that make it great. It's you" she smiles. "I mean, all of you!". She had to clarify that.

"I see".

They didn't say anything for the following few moments, but Petra didn't want to drop the subject like that.

"Did you notice anything strange, sir?"

"I realized that being the only girl in the squad could make you feel lonely. Not that you don't get along with the three morons. They're actually quite fond of you. But maybe you seek something more. A type of companionship the rest of us can't give you".

"Oh, that's not the case. To be honest… I never really got along with other girls. As a child I never had a best friend or a group of besties. I wasn't close not even with my sister. She's not much older than me, just four years. But most times we quarreled over stupid stuff, so we preferred not spending much time together if we could avoid it".

"I would never guess that" captain Levi said.

"What do you mean?"

"You are very friendly. I thought you'd be one of those popular kids everyone wants to hang out with".

Could that mean that he enjoyed hanging out with her?

"Not really" Petra giggled. "Our squad is perfect. They guys are fine and I like having my own room and some personal space. But seriously, thank you so much for your concern, captain! It was very swee— eh em, considerate of you to ask me about that".

"Making sure each member of my squad is satisfied is of great importance to me. How else can I expect you to perform as best as you can?"

"I understand" she nodded.

"And I don't care only from an administrative point of view. I've lived with you guys for two years. I want to make sure everything is alright".

"It is, sir" Petra smiled. Even though his words were spoken in a cold and severe tone, they had touched her deeply.

"If that ever changes, for one reason or another, I need you to tell me. Okay?"

"Of course. Though I don't think it ever will".

"Good" he turned his face ahead.

"Sir, thank you for choosing me for your squad".

"You should be thanking yourself. Your abilities brought you here".

"That doesn't mean I shouldn't be grateful to you, sir".

Captain Levi suddenly stopped walking.

Petra looked at him puzzled as she stood beside him. Did she say anything bad? Was she in trouble?

"Petra?" his voice was stiff, his jaw tightened. "I want you to do me a favor".

"Of course, captain. Anything".

"Don't be formal with me when we are alone".

She felt her heart skip a beat.

"Just 'Levi' will do" he added.

Was he really asking that? Was it proper? She was sure that would break some military rule. But her captain's orders were more important than the code.

"Okay" she said softly.

He then resumed walking and Petra followed him.

"Are you happy, Levi?"

It felt strange to call him by his first name, but she couldn't go against his wishes.

"What was that?"

"Does your job as a captain make you happy?" she explained.

"I didn't join the army to be happy" Levi snorted.

"Then why did you?"

"To slaughter those hideous assholes who walk around naked outside the walls".

Petra burst out in laughter upon his description of the Titans.

"Sometimes, you are hilarious!"

"It wasn't my intention" he said coldly, totally unaffected by Petra's loose state.

"That's what makes it all the more amusing!"

Her laughter soon died out, as it was not joined by his.

"Levi?" she seized the opportunity to say his name once more. It was a beautiful name. "If we lived in a world with no Titans… What would do with your life?"

"There is no point in thinking about hypothetical scenarios".

"Come on, Levi! Don't tell me you never thought about that!"

He let out a sigh. "I guess… opening a tea shop would not suck".

"I knew it would be something involving tea! That's a wholesome goal" she beamed at him. "I hope someday you achieve it. I will be a regular client! Will I have a discount?"

"Discount? No". Before she could protest, Levi continued: "I would serve you for free".

"Oh" she blushed.

"And what about you? How would you spend a life without Titans, besides taking advantage of my shop?"

A chuckle escaped her mouth. "I think like… today".

"Today?" Levi repeated.

"Yeah. Today I forgot that there are Titans" she explained. "I don't know if we'll ever have a word without them, but regardless… I want to live every moment as if this ideal world already exists and I'm part of it. Even if I don't make it till it actually happens, I want to see how it would be. This is where I get the strength to continue fighting".

"You know what, Petra? Today I forgot about Titans too" he said in a confessing tone. "Thank you".

It was almost dawn and she still wasn't able to sleep. She had spent all night changing sides.

She got up from her bed and tried writing a letter to her father to distract her busy (and not so modest) thoughts.

Dear Papa,

I miss you a lot! How is everything going on back at home?

Here everything is pretty much the same. Oluo is still the same idiot, Gunther still makes stupid jokes (but I try to laugh out of pity) and Eld still won't shut up about his 'gorgeous-stunning-perfect' fiancée. Is falling in love really so disarming? Was it like that with you and mom?

Dad, how do you know if you are in love with someone? Is there a clear sign you can look for in yourself? Maybe you'll think that's a stupid question! I'm sorry, I'd better write about something else.

Captain Levi is taking good care of us. He really is a great man. He may be a cleaning freak, but I think I got used to that! After all, it's a pity if a man doesn't smell nice.

He has often complimented my cooking skills and that makes me want to cook for him every day for the rest of my life. I hope that doesn't sound weird! Hahaha!

Yesterday we went out together and dined in a restaurant downtown. He insisted to pay for the both of us, despite me protesting. Eventually he told me to put my wallet back in my pocket and that was an order.

I guess that, now that you are reading this, you worry about me being alone with Levi. But I assure you, it was fine. He never made me feel uneasy. In fact, I felt really comfortable around him. I could discuss about anything so effortlessly. Yesterday I felt closer to him than ever.

I wanted to touch his face. And his hair. Put my hand into his. I want to hear his voice very close to my ear.

I'm truly devoted to him. I want to follow him everywhere. Even if we manage to kill all the Titans and bring peace to the world. And the Survey Corps is no more. And everyone retires and leaves to find another job and lead a normal life. I will follow him still.

When I am around him, I feel safe and secure. I will never leave his side.

When did she write all that?

No, she couldn't send that letter to her father. But it was a confession she had to take out of her system.

She took one last look at her cursive letters before dropping the paper in the fireplace. She watched it burn, as her heart was burning too, burdened with the realization of her tender feelings towards her captain.

She didn't know if there was a particular instant when it all began. Was it a specific word he said or a look he gave her? Or did it happen gradually, until it reached a moment when it was too much to ignore anymore?

She couldn't tell when or how her love was born. But that morning she knew that it was there.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps in the corridor and a few repressed laughters that accompanied them.

Petra opened her door and saw Eld, Gunther and Oluo passing by.

"Well, look who decided to come back!"

"See, Gunther? I told you not to laugh! You woke up Petra" Eld said. He was leaning on Oluo, presumably too drunk to stand on his own.

"Sorry, Pet" Gunther apologized. His face was as red as a tomato. Because he was embarrassed or because of the beer? "To my defense, I didn't think you'd be sleeping in your room".

"What is that bag? Brought a little souvenir from the festival?" she asked about a bag that he was holding, resisting the urge to ask about what he meant.

Gunther raised the bag and offered it to Petra.

"That's a gift we all bought together" he explained.

"For me?" the girl asked in awe.

"It's to thank you for convincing the captain to let us go to the festival" Eld said.

"Even though you probably already received a gift last night" Oluo commented cheerfully.

"I can't even be mad at you right now!" Petra exclaimed enthusiastically as she opened the bag and found a beautiful blue dress inside. "It's absolutely perfect! Aw, you guys! If you didn't stink from the alcohol, I'd give you all a hug and a kiss! Thank you very much!"

"Told you she'd like it. See, losers? That's why you should trust the taste of a man who has a girlfriend" Eld said triumphantly.

"Hey! We all chose it together!" Oluo protested.

"What do you mean? I saw it first!" Gunther said.

"Aw, guys! It doesn't matter who saw it first. It's your thought that counts" Petra reassured them.

"Well, not to brag, but it was actually my idea".

"You wish! I insisted we buy something for Petra!"

"Only after I suggested it!"

Petra smiles at the memory. It was over a year ago, but that weekend is still very vivid in her mind and it will probably always be.

She's wearing that same blue dress, not only because it looks good on her, but because it's an extremely valuable gift to her, even though it must have been relatively cheap.

Her back-pack is beginning to mess with her back after all these hours, but she's finally close.

When she enters the base, she lets out a long sigh.

"It's good to be back!" she thinks to herself, afraid to voice the words out loud, lest she wakes up anyone.

Everybody must be sleeping by now, so she walks on her toes.

She passes by the kitchen when a voice calling out her name scares her. She recognizes him.

She enters and finds him sitting at the table and drinking tea, black circles under his beautiful grey eyes.