Chapter 6
Married

The next morning, in the Great Hall
Monday, 4th May

Harry and Hermione went about the Great Hall and said to people, "After breakfast, we're being elf-popped to the Ministry, to walk to the Registrar's office to get married. Please join us as witnesses."

Harry and Hermione avoided the High Table. They had decided that it would be awkward to invite some professors and to not invite others; so none of the professors were invited.

The other Slytherins looked shocked when Harry and Hermione invited both Narcissa and Draco. The other Slytherins were shocked again when both blonds accepted the couple's invitation. (Though Draco accepted with clear reluctance.)

Susan Bones thanked the engaged couple with a smile, and said she definitely would attend.

Luna's reply was to smile dreamily.

Neville smiled as he said he would attend. Then Neville and Luna exchanged shy smiles.

George Weasley was invited, but Molly, Ron and Ginny were not invited. As those three glared at Harry and Hermione, George asked the couple, "You're not planning to have a gigantic, 'social event of the season' extravaganza?"

Harry shrugged. "Narcissa probably will insist on one, later; but Hermione and I, this isn't our style. Besides, for several reasons, I want to marry Hermione as soon as possible."

"Before she starts showing," Ron muttered.

Harry face-palmed. "Bloody hell, Ron. Why did you shoot your mouth off now, after I've donned the ring?"

Then Harry said, "Ron, you and I are done."

Harry took a breath and said formally, "Ronald Bilius Weasley, you have just slandered the fiancée of the Head of Two Ancient and Noble Houses, Potter and Black."

"Oh, shit," George muttered. "Look out."

Harry stared at Ron and continued, "You have two choices. You can stand up now, and loudly make an apology that satisfies me—not you, not your mother, your apology must satisfy me—or you and I shall duel to the death right now."

Molly looked stunned. For once she did not flap her jaw with foghorn-loudness.

Hermione said to Ron, "Harry hasn't forgotten why I faced a troll. He hasn't forgotten you ruining my Yule Ball. Or you leaving the tent."

Arthur said, "Apologise, Ron."

Ron stood up and mumbled, "Everybody, I said Hermione was sleeping with Harry before marriage, when I don't know that this is true. I should apologise for this."

Harry said, "Ron, I've heard you yell loudly enough that the entire Great Hall could hear clearly every word you spoke. Apologise loudly, or..." Harry chin-pointed to the doors leading outside.

Now Ron said loudly, "I said Hermione was sleeping with Harry before marriage. I should apologise for this."

"Saying you 'should apologise' is not apologising! Try again! Or walk outside with your wand in your hand."

Ron's ears were red. Now Ron had no trouble at all being loud: "Why are you doing this to me? What I said to you was good enough."

" 'Good enough,' really? You spoke a nasty insult about Hermione on our wedding day. I'll make you stand up and talk till sundown if that's how long it takes for you to apologise right. Now, if you lack the honour to speak a proper apology, you can face me outside!" Harry pointed to the exit doors now, with his wand in his hand.

George gestured for Ron to lean down. Then George murmured in Ron's ear.

Ron straightened up and yelled, "I said Hermione was sleeping with Harry before marriage, when I have no reason to believe this is true. I apologise to both Harry and Hermione for what I said."

Harry and Hermione exchanged a look, then Harry said, "Apology accepted." Harry restowed his wand.

Harry and Hermione had walked away only two steps when Molly snapped, "Ron doesn't rate a 'Thank you'?"

Harry turned to face Molly. "Truthfully, I have no idea about what the wizarding etiquette is for receiving a dragged-out and boorish apology. But you know what? I don't care."

Harry and Hermione walked back to their part of the Gryffindor table. Just before the teens stepped over the bench, Hermione grabbed the front of Harry's shirt, yanked him towards her, and kissed him like she meant it.

On the other side of the Great Hall, Draco said, "My eyeballs hurt."

Twenty minutes later
In the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic

Harry saw scorch-marks on the walls of the atrium, and the Fountain of Magical Brethren was in ruins.

Greyclay just had elf-popped Harry and Hermione from the Great Hall to the Ministry atrium. The couple was waiting for the witnesses (Narcissa, Draco, Susan, Luna, Neville and George) to arrive by elf-travel or by Floo.

Then a voice yelled, "NOW YOU DIE, POTTER! DIE, MUDBLOOD WHORE!"

The yelling wizard was standing next to Daphne Greengrass; she was frowning at him. The yelling wizard was Marcus Flint's younger brother, Harry remembered, he was two years older than Harry, Hermione and Daphne. The yelling wizard's first name, Harry remembered, started with 'S'. Scott? Steven? No surprise, Whatzisname Flint had been Sorted into Slytherin.

Something strange was happening. Flint was pointing his wand at Harry, but was not casting a spell; and Flint's hand was shaking noticeably. Also, Harry felt a magical connexion to Flint. Flint was feeling anger and hatred; Harry knew through the connexion what the other wizard was feeling.

Meanwhile, wizards and witches were screaming and running about, as Harry and Hermione drew their wands. Oddly, Daphne was not drawing a wand. Even as Harry was drawing his wand, he was saying "Expelliarmus." No sooner was Harry's wand in his hand and pointed at Flint, but the spell was cast.

Flint's wand flew out of his hand and across the atrium. Harry caught the wand one-handed, then pocketed the wand. Harry heard Hermione sigh with relief.

But Flint was not out of the game. He thrust his hand towards Harry, whilst not speaking, and a pea-green spell flew away from his hand. Harry protected himself with the Parseltongue version of Protego.

Meanwhile, Harry still was feeling the connexion to the wizard who was trying to kill him.

"Stop doing magic!" Harry yelled at Flint. What Harry meant was Stop doing magic and admit you are beaten, now that I have taken your wand.

But Flint admitting defeat was not what happened. Instead, Daphne's companion turned blackest black for a second; he was a three-dimensional silhouette. Then he dropped to his knees, screaming.

Flint still did not give up—even as he was screaming, he thrust his hand out twice, at Harry then at Hermione. "Expulso! Expulso!"

Nothing happened.

Daphne finally drew her wand, but she pointed it at her kneeling companion, not at Harry or Hermione.

Daphne did wand-waving, then her expression turned cruel. "Samuel Abraxas Flint, my betrothal contract presumes that you are a wizard when I marry you, but now you aren't magical at all. I'm so sorry to say this, but by the terms of the contract, our betrothal is ended. So mote it be." Light flashed.

Harry heard onlookers say, "Harry Potter took that wizard's magic? Merlin!"

"What did you do, Lord Potter?" Narcissa's voice asked.

Harry turned round and discovered that Narcissa, Draco and Susan were standing nearby, and George, Neville and Luna were approaching through the crowd.

As Harry's eyes returned to Draco's face, Harry noticed for the first time that, just as with Samuel Flint, a connexion ran between himself and Draco. Draco was looking at Muggle-fied Samuel Flint and Draco felt fear—Harry could feel the fear.

Harry realised then what Samuel Flint and Draco had in common: Draco was a marked Death Eater, and Samuel Flint likely was.

Samuel Flint by now had stood up, and looked like he was about to attack Harry with fists. One red Stupefy spell took care of the problem.

Harry replied to Narcissa's question, "What did I do? I'm about to find out."

Harry walked up to Daphne and the stunned Samuel Flint (as Hermione and Harry's friends followed behind). The connexions that Harry felt with Flint and with Draco, Harry felt none of with Daphne. Harry asked Daphne, "Is he a Death Eater?"

Daphne did not reply with words, but she nodded, scowling.

Harry used an underpowered Diffindo spell to cut away the left sleeve of Flint's robe. Sure enough, the Dark Mark was revealed on Flint's left forearm.

Hermione, Harry's friends, Daphne, and atrium onlookers all were silent. So Harry was heard clearly when he said, "Having killed Voldemort, I now own chattel. And it seems I can strip the magic from my chattel."

Draco gasped, as did many onlookers. Daphne smiled cruelly.

Harry raised his voice so that onlookers could hear him. "Albus Dumbledore gave unlimited second chances to people who didn't deserve them. I'm not Dumbledore."

Then Harry pointed his wand at the ceiling. "All the Houses that I inherited from Lord Voldemort by Right of Conquest—House Slytherin, House Gaunt and the sixteen chattel houses that include House Avery, House Flint, House Malfoy and House Yaxley—I now declare to be extinct. For these eighteen designated-extinct Houses, Heirs and Heiresses of those Houses lose their Heir or Heiress status, I do not name anyone as Heir or Heiress for any of these named Houses, and nobody may claim Lordship of any of these named Houses after I die. So mote it be."

Light flashed.

"Merlin on a mushroom," breathed Narcissa.

"You pranked the Dark families mightily," said George.

Harry still had his wand pointing up. "Every surviving Death Eater now is my chattel. I call upon Magic to strip all the magic from every marked Death Eater except Draco Malfoy. Do not leave these evildoers as wizards or witches, or even Squibs—remove all magic from their magical cores, then remove their cores. So mote it be."

Light flashed again in the atrium, and an Auror screamed and dropped to the floor.

The atrium was silent for as long as Harry remained there. Harry calmly led his party to the elevators.

What Harry did not know until much later was that when he demagicked every male and female Death Eater at once, he demagicked Euphemia Rowle. Euphemia, who was only distantly related to Bella and who was not related to Tom Riddle at all (within ten generations), now was completely unqualified to raise Delphini Riddle, the daughter of Euphemia's friend Bella. Even if Euphemia somehow had achieved unofficial custody of Delphini, the Wizengamot would not have allowed Euphemia to keep the baby.

In short, nobody was left who could challenge Harry's custody of Delphini Riddle.

Twenty minutes later
The Registrar's Office and Department of Records
Ministry of Magic

Four friends of Harry and Hermione, plus three Slytherins (Narcissa and Draco, and Daphne who had been invited at the last moment), watched as Harry and Hermione were magically married by the Registrar in a civil ceremony.

During the marriage ceremony, Harry and Hermione put Potter marriage-rings on each other's fingers. (This morning, the couple had chosen their rings after Greyclay had fetched a tray of Potter rings from the Potter family vault.) When placed on the couple's fingers, each marriage-ring immediately shrank to fit.

When the Registrar said "I now pronounce you wizard and witch-wife," Harry felt a shift in his magical core. Hermione's look of surprise told Harry that she had felt the same thing at the same time.

Because this was a civil ceremony, every part of the marriage ceremony, except for the exchanging of marriage-rings and the kiss at the end, was straightforward and unglamorous. Even so, Susan and Luna cried at the marriage ceremony. Surprisingly to Harry, Narcissa cried too.

After the seven witnesses had signed the relevant marriage parchmentwork as witnesses, Harry and Hermione treated them to a celebratory dinner in the Executive Dining Room, elsewhere in the Ministry building.

George Weasley was one of the nine people at the table; what he said at the table often was ribald. Harry and Hermione often blushed, and Narcissa often almost laughed.

Daphne kept rubbing the place on her finger where her betrothal ring had been.

Eventually Harry and Hermione announced that they had business at Gringotts, and so left the table. Nobody said anything when Narcissa left the table when the newlyweds were almost at the door.

Minutes later, Harry, Hermione and Narcissa all were at Gringotts, in the office of Bladebloody, who was the Black account manager. The three magicals plus goblin wrote up a concubine contract between Harry and Narcissa. The most important terms of the written contract were, word for word, what Narcissa had dictated to Harry as her Life Debt payment.

But to Hermione's obvious shock, Harry refused to sign the contract, once the contract was written out. He explained to Hermione his new wife, "I want at least a month in which the only woman in my life is you, and the only woman I have sex with, is you."

Narcissa calmly nodded. "I can wait."

Harry and Hermione said goodbye to Bladebloody, the Black account manager; then paid a brief visit to Axefrenzy, the Potter account manager. The Potters gave Axefrenzy a copy of the Ministry's marriage parchmentwork. In return, Axefrenzy gave Harry two portkeys. The first portkey would move Harry and Hermione from Potter Manor in Wales to Magical France's Customs and Immigration Département in Calais, and back again; the second portkey would move the Potters from Calais to the Potter Chateau in Languedoc-Roussillon Region, and back again.

Just before Harry and Hermione Portkeyed to Calais, they went to a private post service in Diagon Alley. The teens walked in there to hire a postal owl, to take a letter they had written together.

The letter was addressed to "Prime Minister Tony Blair, Number 10, Downing Street, London." The wizard whom Harry handed the one-sickle fee to, recognised neither the name nor the address; Hermione rolled her eyes.

An hour later, near the Burrow

The only reason that Narcissa Black had been able to show up for the funeral of Frederick Weasley was that the funeral was being held in the Weasley cemetery that was in an orchard. Thus the funeral was outside the Weasley-house wards.

Speaking of the Weasley house, Narcissa decided that the building looked ridiculous. If Lucius had ever seen the house, he would have rolled on the ground in laughter.

But the time for woolgathering was over; Narcissa spotted Arthur Weasley and the Burro (Arthur's wife) headed straight for her.

"Narcissa Malfoy!" Molly Weasley screeched. "You've no place here. Go away!"

"My name is Narcissa Black now. You've been told this."

"So what? Malfoy, Black—they're both Dark."

"Not with Sirius Black, and now Harry Potter, acting as Lord Black. Do try to keep informed, Molly dear."

Arthur Weasley said calmly, "May I ask why you're here, Miss Black? You aren't part of Fred's family, nor are you a friend of his."

"Indeed, Lord Weasley. My son Draco was oftentimes a victim of Fred Weasley, but never his friend." Narcissa said formally, "I am here at the request of Harry and Hermione Potter-Black, who were friends with Frederick Weasley, and who asked me to stand in for them at Mr Weasley's funeral."

Molly said, "They should've come! It was disrespectful of them to not come themselves, and to send Lucius Malfoy's widow in their place."

Narcissa raised an eyebrow. "Surely you other twin son informed you: Those two were married today, and now are on their honeymoon."

"They could've waited a few hours," Molly declared without hesitation. "People expected the Man Who Conquered to attend Fred's funeral, but he's not here."

"Ah, I understand. You wanted the status that would come from proving Our family is close friends with the hero of the hour, Harry Potter. You don't give a"—Narcissa said this next part in a genteel, refined voice—"rat's arse what Harry wants or needs."

Both adult Weasleys stared at Narcissa openmouthed.

Narcissa said, "Two days ago, I was nearby when the Dark Lord AK'd Harry Potter. I can't explain how Harry came back from the dead, but I saw this: Harry Potter died."

Both parental Weasleys looked stunned.

Narcissa continued, "I think that after everything that this young man has gone through—from the Dark Lord, from the headmaster, from my late husband and from my son—Harry Potter has earned the right to be selfish for once in his life. What I'm saying, Molly Weasley, is that Harry deserves to be having sex with a beautiful young woman right now, instead of forcing him to listen to you."

Hours later, in the Potter Chateau in southern France

On Hermione's first trip to Flourish and Blotts long ago, which had been eleven months before she would enter Hogwarts, Hermione had bought a book about Hogwarts. Then she had read that book over and over. When she finally had gotten the chance to apply her knowledge, as a firstie at Hogwarts, she had been hit with many fewer surprises than the other firsties.

So now Harry was unsurprised to be told that Hermione, back when she had been a virgin in every sense, had read her mother's sex manuals like a fiend. Hermione also had spent hours of her hols in Crawley reading sex manuals online.

The results of all Hermione's special research?

When Harry ruptured Hermione's hymen, he was more bothered by the deflowering process than she was—even as she was wincing in pain.

A little later, Hermione gave Harry the second fellation he had ever received, which was the first fellation Hermione had ever given. Hermione's fellation felt wondrous.

(Ginny's fellation? Meh.)

A week later—Monday, 11th May
At Number 10, Downing Street, London
(The residence of Prime Minister Tony Blair)

Heather Tidwell had been hired at Number Ten as a word-processing typist, using Wordperfect and Word software, and this was her first day on the job. A woman actually younger than Heather, Shirley, was giving Heather the new-employee orientation.

Heather Tidwell was thirty-four, almost elderly for a first-level position, but she was not complaining. She was alive, and she was free—whereas most British Mundane-borns were not.

There was a good reason why Heather was alive now and not being released from Azkaban: a year ago, she had quit her Ministry of Magic job—she had been a receptionist at Obliviator Headquarters—and had presented herself to the magical section of the US Embassy in London. There, Heather had asked for asylum.

Heather's request had been granted. Whilst Dolores Umbridge was falsely imprisoning Mundane-borns with her Muggle-Born Registration Commission, Heather had been living in Alexandria, Virginia, USA. There Heather had worked at data-entry and word-processing, whilst using Muggle computers at a Muggle job. (No way was Heather going back to work in the magical world!)

Heather had spent the last four months in Alexandria being amused by the political comedy that was coming out of Washington, DC: the president of the United States had involved himself with a White House intern. By all accounts, Clinton's relationship with the girl was consensual; whereas Heather could not imagine any young witch having sex with the late Cornelius Fudge without many (many, many) galleons changing hands.

Another good thing about Heather's time in Alexandria: Between Heather's magnificent mammary manifestations and her British accent, Heather had been asked out on many dates. She had been taken to see Titanic three times. (Heather the former Ravenclaw never could answer one question about the film: Why had Kate Winslet, a British actress, played an American woman?)

Still, Heather's time in Alexandria had not always been a picnic. Always she had felt the fear that one day she would walk into her "apartment" (flat) and would discover a Death Eater waiting for her. Heather had had dreams in which Dolores Umbridge and red-robed Aurors would show up with official-looking parchmentwork, and Heather would be extradited to Britain, soon to die.

But Heather was loyal to Queen and Country; and learning to drive on the right side of the road was annoying. So when Heather had learnt a week ago that Harry Potter had killed You-Know-Who, Heather had notified the U.S State Department and the Embassy of the United Kingdom that she wished to return to England. Telephone calls were made on Heather's behalf, and now Heather not only was back in London, but today was starting work in the prime minister's office.

A half-hour ago, Shirley had brought Heather into Tony Blair's office to meet the handsome young politician. Heather had expected to be in Mr Blair's presence for less than a minute; but as soon as she had walked into the room, she had sensed magic from a portrait above the fireplace.

Heather had placed herself so that her back had been to the magical portrait when she had shaken Blair's hand. As she had shaken the PM's hand, Heather had murmured, too lowly for Shirley to hear, "One portrait here is magical."

Mr Blair had blinked. Then he had murmured back, just as lowly, "Are you magical too?" Heather had nodded.

Shirley, afterwards, had acted scandalised. Not being able to hear the too-quiet dialogue, Shirley had accused Heather of trying to recreate the Lewinsky scandal on this side of the Atlantic.

Now Shirley was showing Heather some of the word-processing templates that the office used. Suddenly a brown owl appeared at the window and tapped on the glass with its beak.

Shirley felt flummoxed when Heather opened the window and let the owl in; doubly so when Heather apologised to the owl for not having any "owl treats" on hand. Shirley was further gobsmacked to see that a letter had been tied to one of the owl's legs, and that Heather untied the letter as if this were an everyday event. The strangeness for Shirley ended when Heather finished removing the letter, the brown owl flew out the window, and Heather calmly shut the window.

Now Heather opened the envelope, removed the letter and unfolded it. Shirley did not understand what was going on, but she did understand addresses on letters. She sputtered, "You can't read this! This is for Mr Blair!"

Heather replied, "Any letters that come by Royal Mail, you're right, it's not my place to read them. But any letters that come by owl, I should screen first."

Then Heather said, "Oh my, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger wrote this letter, a week ago."

"Who are they?" Shirley asked.