...

"You pissed in his office?" Tony Stark questioned me, the drink in his hand momentarily paused in the air as he gave me a bewildered look. "Really?"

I shrugged, idly relaxing into the sofa.

We'd, since bringing up Vanko, moved into a more comfortable room in the building. One with fewer gadgets and more sofas. One of which I currently had the luxury of laying my head back on.

"To be fair, I pissed in his flower pot, and can you blame me? He tried to honeypot me into an interrogation!"

"So you pissed in his houseplant. I should remember that one. Lord knows he's tried that with me."

I raised an eyebrow at the wording, admittedly surprised.

"You believe in a god?"

"I used to think I was him."

"So... improvement?"

"You believe that?"

"I can definitely see it."

He rolled his eyes at me and took another sip.

"Well, for your information, I was kidding."

"Still think you're a god then?" I questioned with a snort, idly raising my head up from the sofa. My gaze filtering over towards the giant screen latched onto the wall, the screen currently been used by Jarvis judging by the wide array of technobabble filtering around.

"Kidding about that too genius."

"Tony Stark thinks I am a genius? I am flattered."

"You should be."

Well, as fun as this had been... I did have other matters to attend to, particularly some involving a brutishly green scientist with melodramatic issues. So, after taking a final sip of the glass I'd somehow managed to win the favor back of, I promptly stood up on top of my feet. Tony Stark's own expression turned somber for a moment before turning indifferent immediately after.

"Leaving so soon?"

Instead of answering, I figured I might as well figure out whether I should help him out a little more or not.

"What are you planning to do about Vanko then?"

The man hummed to himself in response, idly turning his gaze towards the large screen before turning back to me with a shrug.

"Not sure, depends on his dad's health I suppose. You said he only goes off 'cos he dies on him right?"

"Yes?"

"You know if he's died by now?"

I shrugged.

"Depends."

"On?"

"What year is it?"

Tony Stark, for a moment, seemed to stop responding. His incredulous expression growing leaps and bounds before the man sighed in exasperation.

"You're entirely useless aren't you?"

"Most of the time," I answered honestly. "I take it you're going to cover his dad's health bill if he's alive?"

"I'll certainly try to. You weren't specific about his condition, for all you know, it might not be preve-"

That's all I really needed to hear in truth.

I promptly took out the single vial I'd brought with me from Kamar- Whatever it was called and promptly threw it towards him. The man catching it with ease, his gaze immediately appraising it.

"What's this?"

"Your get-out-of-a-villain free card." I answered with a grin. "What are you going to do if he's already dead though?"

"Do I have to give it back?

"About Vanko?" I rolled my eyes. "Feel free to keep it."

"Can I mass-produce it?"

"You can't."

"Can I try?"

"You're going to do that regardless, if you get to keep it that is."

"You know me so well."

Eh, not exactly my problem. More Kamar-whatever's in truth. As far as the vial was concerned, it was more or less meant to clear up any pre-existing conditions- It didn't necessarily guarantee the patient wouldn't ever receive any of them again.

"If he's already dead then... I'll try and see if we can come to an understanding."

"...Take your Iron Man Armor with you."

"I am not stupid."

"

Could've fooled me." When Tony Stark made to protest the comment, I continued. "You need help finding him?"

The man shook his head in the negative, idly indicating the screen before us.

"Dad might've been a dick, but he was a meticulous one. Jarvis should have his most likely locations for me soon."

"Well, then. Until next time Anthony."

"Never call me that again. How do I reach you if I need more of your 'advice'?"

I blinked, somewhat surprised by the request.

I am pretty sure Tony Stark is one of the only people who've ever interacted with me that has willingly asked to do it again.

Freakin' weirdo.

"How do you know I have more?"

The man shrugged. "It's a hunch."

I shrugged as well.

"You have a phone I can borrow-"

I promptly caught the suddenly thrown device, somewhat surprised he'd already had it prepared.

"Don't sell that one." The man warned me before throwing something else towards me.

Catching the second item, I was a little surprised to note it was a credit-card.

"And don't rob me again. You get a monthly wage starting today."

"...Am I an employee now? What's my job?" I questioned amused.

I haven't had a job in over five-hundred years.

"I'll tell you when I figure it out."

"How much do I get paid?"

"Same answer."

"It's a credit card." He knew how those worked right?

"Then you can't complain." Okay. So he did. "Don't buy too many houses. I'll know."

"How many houses can I buy?"

"Get out. I have a villain to prevent."

Rolling my eyes, I promptly spun my hand in a circle, watching as the orange portal slowly opened up. The visuals immediately attracting Tony Stark's mystified expression. The only thought in my mind been the scientist I wanted to meet.

I gazed back towards Tony Stark.

"Next time, drinks on me," I stated with a snort, idly waving the card in hand. "If things go well with Vanko... I might even tell you why your parents died."

A pair of widened Stark eyes later, I promptly swept through the portal.

...

Judging by the location I'd wound up in, I was fairly certain my Sling-Ring was either fucking with me, or the universe had taken control of it.

I was pretty sure Bruce Banner didn't live in a studio apartment filled with Astronomy technobabble.

The sound of a door of sort's opening and a shocked gasp promptly caught my attention, my body whirling around in an instead to catch-

Another pair of widened eyes later, that been my own, I was promptly greeted to the sight of an evidently post-shower Jane Foster crashing into her wall as she made to turn and run.

Well, would you look at that? Not even first base and I've already seen her naked.

Ha! Take that Thor!

She was going to bash my head in when she woke up, wasn't she?

As far as first impressions go, this definitely didn't look good.

With a sigh, I promptly threw the cover on her sofa over her knocked-out body (I sure as hell wasn't touching any of that) because apparently, the girl didn't believe in beds, nor self-awareness.

It took a second later before the phone started ringing.

"Can't talk right now, I have a naked-girl in the room I need to convince not to hate me."

"...How the- You teleported to the wrong place didn't you?"

"Yup."

"Why not just leave?"

"And give her life-long paranoia? Who do you take me for? Obadiah?"

The sound of silence on the other side was rather telling.

"Too soon?"

"Yes, but it was a good one so I'll let it slide. Call me back when you've sorted your mess out. We definitely need to talk."

"Don't you have a Vanko situation to deal with?"

"I have a you situation as well. And keep your hands to yourself."

"Who do you take me for? Tony S-"

Bastard hung up on me before I could finish!

And people say I am rude.

With another sigh, I promptly took a seat on the aforementioned sofa and opened up the latest Physics Theories Weekly thrown about on the coffee table.

I idly started judging every incompetent scientist featured in it, because damn was all of this shit wrong.

Picking up one of the pens on the table, I figured I might as well correct some of it.

Not like I had anything better to do before judgment-and-lawsuits woke up to give me hell.

...

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