When he came too a minute, Meredith was stroking his hair and crying softly. His eyes fluttered open, he was boiling hot and sweating like mad. Meredith quickly wiped her eyes and stroked his face gently.

"You ass."

"Hmmm?"

"Why the hell did you go running when your so sick?"

"I'm...useless...need...normal." He slurred only half-awake.

"Oh Der, your not useless, your sick."

Derek sat up and leant tiredly against the wall. Meredith moved to sit next to him and she wrapped her arm around his neck.

"What do you need now Derek?"

"I don't know." He sighed looking down at his shaking legs.

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

Knock Knock Knock.

Meredith stood up looking confused and walked to the door.

Addison. Addison Montgomery. The red-haired lady stood at the door.

"Addison?" She stuttered.

"Hello." She said, soaking wet from the rain.

"Erm...come in."

Addison walked in and took her coat off revealing her designer outfit. Meredith took her coat and hung it up on the coat rack. Derek stumbled up from the floor and Meredith ran over to him before he fell over. He leant straight into her as if she was the only thing holding him up. She walked him straight to the couch and helped him sit down comfortably, placing a cushion behind his back and neck. Meredith quickly got him a glass of juice and a protein bar. Addison sat down on the other couch and looked in shock and confusion.

"How are you?" Addison asked.

"I have acute promyelocytic leukaemia so I'm doing great." He snapped.

She sat in shock for a second before standing up and pacing.

"I'm sorry...I...I didn't know."

"I'm sorry for snapping." He sighed.

"You need to eat this Der." Meredith said handing him the opened protein bar.

He quickly ate the entire small bar as Addison still paced.

"When did you find out?"

"3 days ago."

"How far along is it?"

"It's in the early stages."

"When do you start chemo?"

"Tuesday, why are you here Addison?"

"Your sisters told me about Ma and then said I had to stay here with them for a few weeks but not why. And Teddy."

"Okay." He said before turning to Meredith. "Can I go to bed?"

"Yes of course." She said grabbing his hand. "Do you need any help?"

"No thanks, love you."

"Love you."

Derek stood up and slowly walked into their bedroom slamming the door behind him. He was still really unsteady on his feet and he grabbed everything to keep him steady. As soon as he had walked in the room, the door flung open followed by Nancy, Lizzie, Kathleen and the kids laughing and giggling.

"Addie!" Nancy smiled walking over to her and hugging her.

Lizzie went straight over to Meredith as she could see how worried she was.

"What happened?"

"When I was asleep, he went running. For at least an hour. He fainted when he got back. He's pushing himself too much and I think he's depressed." Meredith said, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Oh Mer!" She said hugging her.

"Mommy?" Asked Orva.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Is daddy okay?"

"Daddy just scared Mommy, he's just sleeping why don't you go and have a nap with him, give him a cuddle better."

"Okay."

Orva ran excitedly into Derek's room to see him laying on the bed. He turned over as he heard the door and smiled weakly.

"Hey Orva."

"Mommy said to come give you cuddles and nap with you."

"Come on then." He said patting the bed next to him.

She ran on and jumped onto the bed, shaking the whole thing. Derek laid back down facing her.

Both her and Robyn were identical twins; they had long black curls; fair skin; they both wore glasses; they were very clever and they looked like Derek. However, Kai looked like Meredith; he had short dirty blonde hair; darker skin; he was short for his age and he too was clever.

Orva buried her head into Derek's chest and hugged him tightly whilst crying.

"Orva, what's the matter baby?"

"Your sick and I don't want you to die like Nona."

"Oh Orva." She said hugging him weakly.

"But you are Daddy loads of people die from 'ancer."

"When was the last time you saw me poorly?"

"Erm...I don't know your never poorly, you always look after us and Mommy."

"Exactly, I'm strong which means I can get through the cancer. All it means is your not going to see Mommy and Daddy for a bit because their in hospital as the medicine I need to get better makes me poorly."

"Can I come visit?"

"If I'm feeling up to it."

"Yay! If Mommy with you, who with us?"

"Your Auntie Nancy, Kathleen and Lizzie. Sometimes Auntie Izzie, Cristina and Lexie might come, maybe even uncle Alex and George might come."

"George funny!" She laughed.

"And Addison."

"I like Addison."

"Daddy used to." He sighed.

"If Addison is coming, does that mean Teddy is coming too?"

Teddy Montgomery-Shepherd. Derek's 16 year old daughter. Teddy was her shortened name, Theodora Carolyn Michaela Montgomery-Shepherd. Teddy lived with Addison in LA, he hardly ever saw her. She had fair skin and long auburn curls. She was immensely clever and already studying at the University of Southern California, like her parents studying medicine. When Addison and Derek split up she wasn't born. She was born a year later, when Addison came to Seattle for the first time with Mark. She phoned her at least once a week but hadn't seen her for a long time.

"I don't know if Teddy is coming, I hope so I haven't seen her for months."

They heard a small knock on the door and the door creak open.

"Dad?" A small voice said.

As if out of magic, Teddy arrived. She had her long hair tied up in a bun and she had her travelling clothes on.

"Teddy." He smiled.

He sat up against the back board and turned the lights on from the switch next to his bed.

"Orva, can you go and get me a glass of juice please?"

"Okay daddy."

She ran out of the room leaving Teddy and him alone. She walked up to the bed and sat down next to him, tears building up in her eyes.

"What's up bear?"

Bear had been the name that Derek's mom had come up with when everyone still called her Theodorsia. But now that she liked being called Teddy it sounded better.

"You."

"Me?"

"Mom just told me." She said tears falling off her face.

"Oh bear I'm sorry," He said pulling her into a weak embrace.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know until 3 days ago and these last days I've been really sick."

"You...you can't die." She sobbed.

"I'm not going to..."

"But Nona did, she's gone Dad that's why I'm here."

She sobbed into his chest for a few minutes before calming down.

"I love you dad."

"I love you too bear." He said. "Who is out there?"

"Auntie Nancy, Auntie Lizzie, Auntie Kathleen, Mom, Mom Meredith, Orva, Kai, Robyn and this other person called Cristina, she said she's here to check on you."

"Cristina is Mom Meredith's best friend, she is worried about me since I took time off."

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm in a lot of pain and I'm tired but okay, I start chemo on Tuesday and I have to stay in the hospital for 6 weeks."

"Oh wow! Why don't we go out and talk to them all?"

"Can you wait here while I change bear? I can't walk very well so I need a bit of help."

"Okay dad."

Derek slowly stood up and walked into the bathroom to change. He put on a pair of sweatpants, fluffy socks and a fleece shirt. He walked back out and grabbed hold of the doorway, to scared to move because of how faint he felt.

"I've got you." Teddy said grabbing his arm. "Have you fainted yet?"

"A few times, mainly because of my blood sugars though. I fainted just before you got here."

"Oh."

Teddy helped him out of the bathroom and into the living room, she tightly gripped hold of his arm not letting go until he was sat on the couch.

"Hey." Meredith smiled.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Just tired like usual."

"Any pain?"

"A bit, just my back and hips still."

"We have just ordered some pizzas, Addison and Teddy are staying tonight in one of the guest beds."

"Okay."

"Can you eat do you think?"

"I can try."

"Good."

"So tomorrow..." Nancy started. "The funeral is at 2pm, we need to leave here around 1pm, we're taking 3 cars."

"Who is making a speech?"

"Kathleen and Derek."

"I am?" Derek questioned.

"You just have to say it, Ma wanted you to it was in her will."

"I don't know if...if I can stand."

"I'll stand with you, we're doing the speech together." Kathleen said.

"Okay."

"What's happening after?"

"We're coming here and Meredith has booked a caterer to come while we're at there and Izzie Stevens is helping, Meredith's friend."

"Okay."

"Are we wearing black?"

"Yes."

"Mer, my suits won't fit me, I've lost 10 pounds." He whispered.

"Should we go check now?"

"Yeah."

"We're going to find something to wear tomorrow." Meredith said standing up.

"Okay."

Meredith helped Derek up and walked him into the bedroom. She helped him sit down on the comfortable chair and she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"It's nice to see Teddy isn't it."

"Yeah."

"Are you sure your okay? I mean mentally."

"Yeah." He said distantly.

"No your not Der, your depressed."

"Hmm?"

"Derek!"

"What did you say?"

"Your depressed Der."

"I'm not."

"You are, but it is expected. Your mom has died, your sick and you have leukaemia." She said moving over to him, "I will help you however you need, I'm here and I'm not leaving you ever."

"I'm fine Mer." He sighed, tears filling his eyes.

She sat down on the small chair and pulled him into her chest as a sob racked his chest. She stroked his back and rocked side-to-side gently.

"It's okay, it's okay." She soothed.

His breath hitched in his throat every time he tried to breathe, he sat back and pawed at his neck trying to catch a desperate breath. His shallow breaths echoed in the large room. He swallowed as he looked at his knees. The room flashed in and out, and panic like a tsunami swept over his body. He couldn't breathe or speak. He thrashed. He clawed at his collar, but nothing helped. He tried to suck down air, and he couldn't.

"Slow, deep breaths," Meredith instructed.

Sound blotted out except for the throb of his heart in his ears. He listened to that for the longest time. He didn't know how long. By the time the room stopped moving, he felt flayed, quartered, and left for dead in pieces. His throat hurt. His hands felt clammy, felt slippery against his hair as he yanked and yanked. He swallowed.

"Your okay, I've got you." Meredith said wrapping her arms around him.

"I'm sorry," He said in a low, tired pitch, too tired to care about the flames of embarrassment licking at his skin. He couldn't manage anything else but breathing.

For a few minutes, he sat getting his breath back to it's normal steady pace. He ran his shaky fingers through his hair and looked at Meredith.

"I'm sorry Mer." He whispered.

"Don't apologise, I love you Derek."

"I love you."

"Why don't we have a sleep?"

"Okay, good."

She helped him into bed and laid down next to him. She wrapped her arms over his hips and her leg over his. Meredith leant forward and kissed him on the neck. He groaned quietly and fell asleep shortly before she did.

"Dad?" Teddy said bursting into the room, immediately stopping when she saw him and Meredith cuddled up sleeping peacefully.

Derek began to stir and turned around to face her.

"Sorry dad you go back to sleep."

Teddy left the room as Derek fell back asleep.

"He's asleep, and Meredith." Teddy said sitting down on the couch.

"He's exhausted and he needs to sleep." Nancy said whilst typing on her computer.

The doorbell ring loudly and Addison went to go get it. She handed the delivery man the money and took the 4 large pizza boxes on the coffee table.

They ate the pizza whilst reminiscing about Carolyn and they caught up as they hadn't talked for ages. Almost 2 hours had passed since Derek's panic attack when he woke up again, waking Meredith up in the process.

"Hey." He whispered.

"Hi."

Derek rolled over and faced her. He kissed her on the cheek and hugged her tightly.

"Love you."

There was knock at the door and it slowly opened, the light glaring into the dark room. Teddy appeared with a pizza box, glass of juice and some meds.

"Dad?"

"Yes bear."

"I was wondering, if you were up for it do you want to watch a film like we always do when we see each other or do you not feel great?"

"Yes sure."

"Do you want to watch too Meredith?"

"Thank you Teddy but I need to sort some stuff out for tomorrow."

"Okay."

Meredith climbed out of bed, put a hoodie on and left the room as Teddy got into bed beside Derek after putting the juice and meds on his bedside table.

"Are you hungry?"

"No not really bear but I'll have a bit."

"Okay."

"What do you want to watch?"

"How about a comedy dad?"

"Okay, you choose."

"Charlie's Angels."

"Sure, I haven't seen that one."

"Where's your laptop?"

"In my bag next to the closet."

"Okay," Said Teddy jumping off the bed.

"Do any of the specialties interest you?"

"Neuro seems interesting-"

"It is."

"And plastics, like uncle Mark."

"He would've persuaded you and persuaded you to take it." He said a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Talking about Mark still pained Derek even though it was so long after his death. It was Derek who took him off life support, under his wishes. He had a major heart attack but fell into a coma. After 30 days, his living will said he wanted to be taken off life support.

Derek had tried hard for 6 months to keep it together and not cry until he had a patient who fell into a coma and had the directives as Mark...