Season 1 Episode 6
"Wow. This place is actually kind of cute on the inside." Bra surveyed the decor of his cabin shocked to find it could pass for urban chic. "Is interior design a secret passion of yours?"
"No." 17 answered flatly brushing past her to start the fireplace. Once the fire was ignited, he retrieved a blanket from his bed located in the middle of the large open space. He laid it before the fire folding it up to make a den-like bed. "Set him down."
Bra did as instructed as he moved to the kitchen area opening cabinets and drawers searching for something. "What are you looking for?" she asked.
"Feeding bottles." 17 responded head under the sink searching for those elusive bottles.
"You have a baby?!" Bra exclaimed. She couldn't picture it initially but then it dawned on her that would make him a "DILF"
"What?" 17 popped his head out.
"Dad I'd like to, you know." But by the confused look on his face, he did not know. "Colin Farrell is like the ultimate DILF. I had the pleasure of being his date to one of his movie premieres." Bra got lost in her head reminiscing about that unforgettable night.
"If you're done help me find the animal feeding bottles." 17 rolled his eyes. He hated when people daydreamed.
"Uh, fine." Bra moaned returning to reality.
"They're probably in the shed." 17 thought walking back outside. Not wanting to leave the baby chipmunk alone she sat down next to him and waited instead of continuing to search for the bottles.
"Found some leftover newborn formula too." 17 announced upon his return.
"You've done this before." Bra observed him return to his kitchen and turn on the small gas stove. He then retrieved a kettle from one of the cabinets, filled it with water then place it on the stove to warm up the water.
"A stray cat abandoned her kittens in my shed." 17 confirmed her theory.
"Did you find homes for them?" Bra inquired instantly invested in his story.
"Some." 17 admitted pouring some of the powder formula into the small bottle.
"What did you do with the ones that didn't find homes?" Bra feared she knew the answer to that question, it happened all too often.
"Took them to the shelter." 17 confirmed what she was expecting.
"No-kill?" Bra hoped.
"No." 17 squashed her hope.
"That is exactly why I can't watch those sad SPCA commercials. Sarah McLachlan singing Angels live at a charity event is like a million times more sad than on TV." Bra revealed a softer side of her and then quickly undid its good by adding, "Although I did meet Prince Henry and broke his heart when I said I wouldn't run away to London with him."
"Here." 17 held the full bottle in front of her face.
"You want me to feed him?" Bra blinked taken aback.
"It's your rescue." 17 reminded. "Would you rather walk to the feed store to buy more formula instead?" He asked when she hesitated to take the bottle from him.
"No, I'll feed him." Bra quickly changed her attitude taking the bottle and looking over at the helpless newborn chipmunk. "How exactly do I do that?"
"Put the nipple in his mouth." 17 said so straight-faced it made fighting back the urge to make his naughty sounding statement sound even worse near impossible.
"Usually, a guy buys me dinner first," Bra smirked failing miserably at resisted the urge and going there. And with her inappropriate sexual innuendo 17 left to get more formula without another word…..
"Good morning." Goten greeted chipperly as he coincidently bumped into Trunks outside Sierra Café.
"Ugh, there's nothing good about it." Trunks complained holding his head.
"Rough night?" Goten inquired concerned with a dash of amused.
"Something like that." Trunks distractedly looked over Goten's shoulder and into the café. "Is Marron working today?"
"She works every day," Goten informed noticing the other man's odd behavior. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm just trying really hard to avoid an awkward situation." Trunks revealed acting, as his father liked to describe, like a disgruntle pelican.
"Why? Did you sleep with her and then ghost her?" Goten joked with a laugh that vanished when the other man showed guilt written all over his face. "Oh."
"She's a sweet girl it's just I'm not currently in a place in my life where I can be in a so-called relationship." Trunks tried to explain.
"Understandable. It's just -" Goten skirted around a sensitive subject.
"It's just what?" Trunks looked him over.
"I thought you were a coffee drinker," Goten stated holding up his to-go cup of coffee. "Not a tea drinker." He motioned over to a woman by the window drinking a cup of tea.
"Oh. I see what you're trying to say there." Trunks nodded catching his drift clearly understanding his metaphor. "I do drink coffee."
His confirmation changing the other man's demeanor from confused and let down to hopeful. However, he was about to get a lesson.
"But I also drink tea." Trunks added bringing the other man right back to confused. "Lots of people drink coffee and tea."
"Not around here." Goten cemented an age-old belief about small towns and small-town peoples' narrow-minded beliefs.
"Well, now there is." Trunks unapologetically owned who he was with a level of unwavering confidence that made him all the more attractive to his not-so-secret admirer….
"Do you remember that one time you nearly ran me over with your motorbike?" Goku asked with a laugh as he stood outside his new neighbors' front porch.
"I did hit you with my motorbike. Why do you think I bought this village? So your family wouldn't sue my family." Bulma confessed.
"Really? I thought it was because we were friends." Goku's face fell for a brief moment before the door opened to reveal an irate looking Vegeta in one of his pro wrestling robes he appeared to be using as a bathrobe.
"Good morning Vegeta."
"Bulma. We are completely out of clean towels." Vegeta ignored the trespasser addressing his spouse instead.
"That's because no one's washed any laundry since we got here." Bulma countered pointblank.
"Well, why not?" Vegeta demanded with a huff.
"Good question. You've been home the entire time while I've been working nonstop to sell this miser- ah quaint little place." Bulma caught herself from insulting the village in front of the village leader's husband.
"What about the kids? Assuredly they must have the rudimentary skills to complete such a trivial task." Vegeta threw his offsprings under the bus.
"I'm sure you could teach them once they come home from wherever they were last night." Bulma dropped a bit of information he wasn't aware of.
"Hey, Vegeta. I actually came by to ask if you could speak to my wrestling team today before their match." Goku spoke up.
"Why on earth would I do that?" Vegeta scoffed turning his nose up at his request.
"Well, the kids really look up to you. It would mean the world to them to be mentored by a professional." Goku appealed to the other man's ego.
"I'm not that kind of wrestler." Vegeta shot down but not strongly enough as the other man persisted.
"I know but they still admire you. A peep talk from a legend could be the motivation they need to get their first win." Goku prattled on laying it on a little thick.
"Hmmm. Very well." Vegeta agreed the ego-stroking having worked.
"Great!" Goku exclaimed. "We can leave - "
"On one condition." Vegeta held up his hand preventing the other man to get ahead of himself.
"Sure. Anything." Goku innocently had no idea what he was possibly signing himself up for. By the warning look on Bulma's face, he should have been wary.
"You have to do our laundry," Vegeta revealed the price for his favor. A legend never did anything for free.
"Uh…" Goku turned to Bulma for assistance but she merely shrugged apparently finding the deal beneficial to herself. "Fine." He yielded.
"If you ruin any of my clothes the deal is off," Vegeta warned disappearing back into the house. Goku luckily didn't ruin anything and completed the task in a couple of hours. Just in time to drive over to the high school.
"Everyone we have a special guest today. Someone that needs no introduction," Goku spoke to his wrestling team gathered at the high school gymnasium. "but still insisted on one." He said a little under his breath as he directed his team's attention to the bleacher stands.
On cue Vegeta appeared on top of the bleachers dressed fully in one of his famous WWE costumes. His long red unbuttoned trench coat with elaborate gold decorative swirl patterns swayed as he slowly walked down the steps with deliberate purpose.
"Where's my entrance music?" Vegeta demanded stopping halfway down the steps an annoyed scowl darkening his face.
"I told you on the drive here I don't know how to work the sound system." Goku reminded recalling their back and forth on the subject in the truck just a few minutes early. A fight that along with the revelation that he wouldn't be provided with a private dressing room almost caused Vegeta to quit even though it wasn't a paying job.
"And I told you to get some nerds to do it." Vegeta spat back in full diva mode.
"You can't call people nerds. It's not PC." Goku hoped he wouldn't get in trouble for bringing him in.
"Hmph. Then get the science geeks to make smoke for my grand entrance next time." Vegeta laid out his list of demands as he walked down the remainder of the bleacher with less flair.
"Geek is not PC either." Goku sighed shaking his head regretting his idea already. However, one look at his students' starstruck expressions and he knew it was worth dealing with a little prima donna attitude.
"Listen up C-show wannabes." Vegeta insulted pacing down the line of high school athletes. "If you want to be a winner you have to be ruthless. Show your opponent no mercy. Defeat them physically and mentally."
Vegeta disregarded Goku's head shaking and arm-waving begging him to stop instead he continued on. "Find their greatest weakness and use it against them. Insult their mothers if you have to."
"No. No, don't do that." Goku finally interjected feeling things derailing faster than a runaway train.
"Fine. Moving on to demolishing your opponent physically." Vegeta attempted to grab one of the students but Goku stepped in the way.
"You can't touch the students." Goku reiterated rule number one he had told him about before allowing him to meet his students.
"How the hell are you suppose to teach them anything?" Vegeta was aghast. Before Goku could mention that he shouldn't use the word hell in front of students either he proclaimed "Fine. I'll just demonstration on you." And with that, he suplexed the taller man into the gym mat.
"Ow ow ow ow!" Goku yelled in pain as he found himself twisted on the wrong end of a wrestling move; he was not prepared for.
"Stop whining. That's not even my finishing move." Vegeta ridiculed standing up while fixing his coat.
"Coach. Are you okay?" The team's captain Uub stepped forward worry noticeable all over his face.
"No." Goku groaned in visible pain not daring to move.
"Don't be such a wuss. I was speared off a 20-foot ladder into a table then went on to win that match." Vegeta bragged.
"I think you've reaggravated an old neck injury." Goku accused in agony.
"Go get Principal Piccolo," Ubb ordered his teammate to the right of him. "You. Call 911" He instructed the one on the left before crouching down next to his coach telling him not to move.
"Wasn't planning on it." Goku still managed to make a joke while suffering.
"Hey, hey, hey! What is going on here?" A tall man in a suit demanded rushing over to the group.
"Just a little sparring mishap." Goku downplayed the severity of the situation.
"Did you do this?" The intimidating principal turned his focus to the newcomer. An intruder he'd never seen before that had no business being on his campus as far as he was concerned.
"He begged me to mentor his team," Vegeta stated defiantly with no remorse.
"Great. Then you can stand in as their coach during the tournament." Principal Piccolo declared.
"What?!" Vegeta exclaimed.
"The team can't compete without a coach." The principal explained.
"Then you do it." Vegeta rejected exasperated. He didn't even want to talk to the team in the first place now he was supposed to be their temporary coach? He didn't think so.
"You injured Coach Son therefore you will step up for Coach Son. Am I clear?" The administrator wielded his veteran principal tone of authority like a well-sharpened sword. Stabbing Vegeta in his refusal to help.
"Fine." The pro wrestler caved.
"Just stand by the sideline. You don't even have to say anything." Goku advised as EMT lifted him carefully onto a gurney. The ambulance arriving in record time.
"I've got this." Vegeta sneered. Doubting his ability to babysit a bunch of amateurs was unforgivably disrespectful.
"Good luck." Goku wished them well unaware just how much they were going to need it until he was laying in his hospital bed awaiting surgery with his wife by his side.
"If it wasn't for the fact that I can't wait to get rid of them I'd rip up the agreement to allow your friend to sell this village right now!" ChiChi cursed. "They've been nothing but a pain in my side since they arrived."
"It hasn't been that bad." Goku tried to calm his enraged spouse.
"Not that bad? Bulma has been pestering the village council daily with elaborate schemes to get buyers interested. Seeming unfazed by the fact that it was on the market for 30 years before she bought it." ChiChi ranted and raved.
"If she hadn't, we would have been kicked out so that one company could build a mall." Goku reminded her of what he still believed was a selfless act to help an old childhood friend. Adding a well-placed "Dear" at the end of that sentence when she turned her murderous glare on him for defending the wife of the man that sent him to the hospital.
"We've more than repaid them by allowing them to live here rent-free." ChiChi countered. She was about to unleash a fury of insults about the washed up, has been, irrelevant, fake wrestler when the door opened.
"May I come in coach?" Uub asked politely.
"Of course." Goku greeted cheerfully. "How did the matches go?"
"We were disqualified." Uub hung his head in shame.
"What? Why?" Goku attempted to sit up in utter disbelief.
"Mr. Vegeta hit the referee with a chair," Uub told the abridged version. ….
"Hello? Yes, this is Bulma Briefs. HE DID WHAT?!"