I don't know how long I sat there, hands fisted in my worn duvet.

Long enough that the dings faded to silence that stretched and taunted my nerves.

Long enough that when my phone buzzed and sang, it took all of my effort to reach out and pluck it from the floor.
I accepted the call and waited.

"Clary, I can't believe you!" Isabelle's voice was sharp and cut through me.
"He was so interested in you! What's wrong with you?"
She took a deep breath. "Luckily Simon and I are going out again next week. Should I even bother including you? Are you even there?"

I cleared my throat but my voice still came out hoarse and unsure. "I-I'm here, Iz. Sorry."

"Clary-" She paused, silence settling uncomfortably between us for the first time in a very long time.

"Are you okay, Clare?" She asked softly.

"I will be." I murmured, curling my duvet up and around myself. The smell of vanilla surrounded me as I settled in. "But right now? Not really, Iz."

"Oh, Clary, I'm sorry! I won't push guys onto you anymore, ok? I was just... well, I was just trying to help."

"I know." I whispered, feeling unshed tears clogging my throat.

"Can I come over? I'll bring apology goodies."

I hesitated. Isabelle was my best friend, but right now I didn't know if I could see her without stirring up feelings I was trying my best to ignore.

"I don't know Iz, I'm kinda tired."

Leaning my head back against my wooden headboard, I stared intensely at the stars painted onto my ceiling. In the darkness only glimmers of gold and silver winked back at me.

"Oh god, Clary, I- I really fucked up didn't I?"

Sighing heavily, I answered without thinking.

"No Iz, you didn't. I think I did."

"Don't be silly, Clary! You're my bestest friend in the whole wide world, you could never fuck up with me, you know that!"

Tears began to prick at my eyes, while nausea roiled horribly within me again. Pressing a fist to my abdomen, I whispered the only thing I could. "I love you, Iz, you know that right?"

"I'm coming over." She said firmly, "I don't care what you say, I need a bestie hug."

I huffed out a weak laugh. "Ok, you loser. Door's unlocked."

"See you soon!" She squealed out and I heard a door slam shut.

Just like that I was abandoned to the silence again.

Flopping down onto the bed, tangled in the thick comforter, I was alarmed when the sharp ridge of my sketchbook jabbed me in the leg. Tugging it up through the sea of fabric, I smoothed down the pages where it had been left open.

Thick black lines bled through the page I ran my hand down. I didn't use heavy black pen, preferring to use paints, charcoal and plain old pencil. Frowning, I turned the page. Rendered with all the artistic ability of a child was a teeny sketch in thick marker. Two figures held hands, their heads far too big in comparison to their bodies, especially where one was mostly comprised of fat ringlet curls. Small, hastily scribbled hearts danced around their heads, and beneath it all, a cursive J x.

Tracing my fingers over the lines, I held in another sob. Ordinarily I would be beyond pissed that someone else had opened my sketchbook, let alone used it themselves, but...

Snapping the sketchbook shut, I slid it beneath my pillow and sought out my phone.

I didn't expect a reply, but I couldn't help but hope as my fingers danced across the keyboard.

I hope you can still heart me. A faint woosh as it sent.

I still heart you.

When Isabelle thundered up the stairs, my phone was still markedly silent and my heart had been consistently jackhammering against my chest.

She paused in the doorway, her eyes tracking the jeans crumpled on the floor, the duvet thrown over me, and met my swollen eyes.

Without speaking she kicked off her shoes and approached the bed, dumping a heavy carrier bag at the foot of the bed.

Throwing the covers back, she jumped in beside me, and I flinched at her icy body shuffling up beside mine.

"Oooo, you're warm." Izzy's muffled voice stirred the hair at the base of my neck. Her arms came up around me and I heard the rustling of plastic. "Which chocolate do you want? I got one of all all your favourites."

I grabbed for a big bar of fudge and she released me, finding my laptop quickly and setting it on the bed before us.

When I woke in the morning, my limbs knotted with Izzy's, hair tangled and melted chocolate stained on my fingers, I was surprised. Not that she was here, that was a given, but the sun had risen and I was ok. The world doesn't stop for a broken heart, and I couldn't hide in the darkness forever. I fumbled for my phone.

No new messages.

I blew out a sharp breath and looked to Izzy, who shockingly, was awake. Her large brown eyes watched me appraisingly.

"You ok, Clare?" She squeezed me, eyes darting down to the phone in my lap before returning to mine.

I didn't respond straight away, using my fingers to comb through my neglected curls. When I did speak, I surprised even myself.

"Any parties tonight, Iz?"