I'M LOOKING THROUGH YOU
As the seasons shifted, Lily and James became closer. They weren't friends, of course, but they got along.
They spent time reviewing schedules for Patrols, worked through point reviews together, and studied for their Potions project together. James realized that there was so much more to Lily than just her brains and her looks. She was kind and sweet and messy. She loved ice cream more than anything and wore sweaters almost every day of the week. She always had music playing in her bedroom, some band called The Beatles, and was often dancing with those weird slippers in the living room when she thought he was asleep or at practice.
He decided he loved to watch her read. She would chew on her lip, strands of vibrant red hair dangling over the pages and her fingers dancing over the page.
He decided that he loved to watch her laugh. It was light and ethereal, and made him want to kiss her.
He decided that he loved the way she looked in the firelight.
Of course, unless she was angry. She was angry quite a lot, especially at him. Almost everything he did frustrated her, but he didn't mind it. He liked the way her face reddened and she huffed in irritation, a small puff of air leaving her rosy lips. He liked how adorable she was when she flourished her hands.
"Potter!" She said harshly, whacking him over the head.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?" He said, raising his hand in defense.
"Pay. Attention," She hissed, shoving the schedules at him.
"Alright, Merlin." He picked up his quill, twirling it between his fingers.
"Okay, Remus and Hestia are going to take Monday, we'll take Tuesday because you don't have Quidditch, and Snape and Black will take Wednesday. Any problems?"
He stared at her. Her hair was so shiny and luscious.
Whack!
"Did you not hear me the first time?" She demanded, setting her book on the table.
"Padfoot isn't a Prefect."
"Whatever do you mean?"
"You said Black. Padfoot isn't a Prefect."
"I meant Regulus."
"Oh. Yeah, the schedule is fine. As long as you don't have a problem with people seeing us wandering the corridors at night? They might get the wrong idea." He winked at her, only trying to get a rise out of her. She scowled and stood.
"Something to drink?" Lily asked, rifling through the fridge.
"Do we have any more pumpkin juice?"
"No, I have Ribena, though."
"What is Ribono?" James asked, crinkling his nose.
"Ribena. It's a fruit juice."
"I'll try it." She handed him a glass bottle with a pink liquid in it. He unscrewed the top and took a sip, then promptly gagged.
"This is poison!" He said, disgust unfurling on his face.
"No, it isn't!"
"It tastes like puke."
"Shut it, Potter!"
"I'll just have water. Do you want the rest of this?" He stood and set the drink on the island.
"After your dirty mouth touched it? No, thank you!"
He smirked. "I can think of a lot dirtier things than my mouth."
She looked flustered for a second before frowning. "Bloody hell, Potter. Is sex all you think about?"
"Who said anything about sex? I was going to say: dirt, the Forbidden Forest, dust, Sirius's hair-"
"Let's just finish the schedule. I'm tired." She said, averting her eyes. It was already late, nearly twelve, but James was invigorated.
"Want to play chess?" He asked, desperate for her to stay up longer.
"I'm not very good…"
"Nonsense! I'll teach you!" He dragged her over to the couch where the chess set sat. She seated herself away from the fire, on the ground. When she shifted uncomfortably, he handed her a round pillow. She smiled gratefully and tucked it beneath her legs.
"White moves first-" James started before Lily interrupted him.
"I said I wasn't very good, not that I don't know how to play."
"Sorry," He said sarcastically.
She moved her pawn, beginning the game.
"Do you-" James started.
"Yes?"
"Do you mind me asking a personal question?"
"That depends."
"I just wanted to know why you were so worked up the other day when I touched you."
Lily paused, advancing her rook. "That's a really personal question."
"Sorry, if I made you uncomfortable. You don't have to answer."
"I don't really-"
"No, really it's fine!"
"It was just-"
"You weren't expecting it."
"-I wasn't expecting it."
"Yeah, I'm really sorry."
"It's alright. I know you wouldn't hurt me, you'd be too heartbroken if something happened to me."
He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Ha! Check!" She said happily, wiggling a bit. He easily avoided it, grinning at her disappointment.
"Ah, you'll get it," He said cheekily when he took her queen.
He thought she looked beautiful when she pouted, her lip stuck out and her forehead scrunched together.
James won, of course, he'd been playing chess since he was four years old, but Lily wasn't even upset. She'd had so much fun, she wished it wasn't two in the morning.
"I've really got to get to bed," She said, stretching.
"No, Evans," He gasped. "Ditching now?"
"Sorry, I don't have a free period first thing tomorrow like you. I have an Alchemy test that I should've been studying for."
James wrinkled his nose. "What's the difference between Potions and Alchemy?"
"I'm only good at one of them," Lily said sleepily.
He snorted, "You're probably good at both."
"I suppose. Alchemy is really hard though."
"Why are you taking it?"
"I want to be a Healer."
"Of course you do," James said without thinking. She raised her eyebrow quizzically.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Just that you're always helping people. Figures you'd want to make a career out of it."
"I don't have to get paid to be kind. I want to be a Healer because my younger brother died of an inoperable brain tumor," She said harshly, narrowing her eyes.
"Oh."
They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, but Lily made no move to leave.
"What was his name?" James asked softly.
"Harry. Harry Richard Evans." Lily smiled. "He was five when he died, I was only ten. He had the most adorable smile, like a puppy."
"I'm so sorry."
"Why do people do that?" Lily asked suddenly, frustration hardening her jaw.
"Do what?"
"Apologize for things they had no control over."
"Oh, I don't know. It's just… polite?"
"I suppose. I have to go to bed." She stood suddenly, her face still hard.
"I'm sorry if I made you angry," He said, standing with her.
She smiled. "You're always going to make me angry, Potter. No use apologizing for things you have no control over."