Hanji prided herself on being composed.

Ish.

Ish, in the sense that unless it was about the titans, Eren, or Levi's closeted past, she stayed composed. This was not one of those mornings. She had gone about her regular day (six AM wake up, seven shots of coffee with a bit of booze, avoiding Levi) when she decided to check in on Erwin. The past few days, he'd been on and off about his wake up times. But even when eight AM rolled around Hanji began to seriously doubt if he was okay.

Maybe Levi choked him out. She laughed internally but quickened her steps just in case.

"Oi! Shitty glasses!"

Oh no. "Levi! Good morning!" Hanji plastered her signature creep-smile in place. "Sleep well?"

"No. Erwin however... I couldn't even wake him for his midnight pee break."

"Well..." Hanji waved her arms. "Anything else?"

"The little baka slept like the dead," Levi said as he turned the handle to his office. Hanji followed him, but at a distance. Morning Levi was a more volatile Levi, and she didn't want an elbow to the face because she stood too close. "He was a complete- oh no."

Hanji pushed past and felt a similar horror well up in her. Her mollified scream shattered the silence.

Erwin had woken that morning with a massive headache. Nothing felt right anymore.

He sat up in bed trying to ignore the throbbing that seemed to hold every inch of his being hostage. He risked a check under the covers, and was terrified at what faced him. His legs were so far away! and his hands looked huge compared to last night. Teenage Erwin, half awake and very afraid, stumbled to the bathroom. What he saw sparked a little bit of hope and a lot of terror.

Why was his hair like that? How could ever think he looked handsome with it gelled so tightly to his misshapen skull. He glanced in the mirror taking in his naked form, and screamed.

Was that... acne?

He risked a glance down...

Then the door burst open and Levi came in.

"Oh no," Levi gasped.

To make matters worse Hanji appeared next. The stack of papers she'd been holding tumbled to the floor. Then her eyes drifted over him before an ear shattering scream broke the silence.

Of course, that set Erwin off again until both of them were wailing.

"ZITS!" Erwin cried as he turned back to the mirror. His voice cracked, "WHY AM I COVERED IN ZITS?" which made everything a billion times more awful.

"OH MY EYES. THEY BURN!"

Levi scoffed, but he moved to offer a bit of privacy. "It's not that bad Hanji," he said as he tossed his cape for Erwin to cover up. "Stop being dramatic. That's the kid's job."

"I'm not a kid," Erwin whined in a very childlike fashion. A familiar sense of doom settled in his chest, and his stomach began to twist itself in knots. "Ooooo," he groaned, "Why does everything feel so mortifying?" He couldn't do this. He can't be seen so vulnerable, so incapable of rationalizing. He wished he was a toddler again, but only so his crying was taken seriously. So the urge to throw a temper tantrum was seen as tolerable, cute even, instead of immature. He wrapped Levi's cloak tightly around his body hating how flushed he looked.

I'm wearing Heicho's clothes! he internally rejoiced. How romantic...

"Oi brat!" Levi snapped his fingers. "Focus down here."

Erwin sunk to the floor with his arms wrapped around him. He hid his face and tried desperately not to cry.

Today really wasn't his day.

It might never be the same after having literally everyone, like, ogle his grotesque body. "I effing HATE THIS!"

"Oi oi oi! Just cause you're grown up doesn't mean you get to swear!" Levi kneeled in an attempt to put Erwin at ease. "Listen up eyebrows, Get yourself together. Hanji's undoubtedly collaborating with the squad to make you clothes so don't go around shitting all over their efforts."

"Y-yes sir."

Levi stood and was half way to the door before he realized Erwin hadn't move from the floor. "Oi!" He snapped, and Erwin jolted to his feet.

"He's gone from toddler to teeanger over night!" Hanji exclaimed as she excitedly circled a nervous Erwin. Levi reverse in a chair a few meters away, a scowl fixed on his face.

"Why is that exciting?" Erwin whispered. "Can I put my clothes back on now?"

"No."

Erwin looked to Levi for help, but Levi silently shook his head. "Let her have her field day, Erwin." Levi averted his gaze back to Hanji as she riffled through Erwin's desk drawers for the files.

"So Erwin," she said as she perched on the edge of the desk. "What's new? Do you feel anything different?"

Erwin's face scrunched in thought. "Hmmm..." I want to leave. "Nothing really. A little tired." Exhausted. "Again, not important." Get me out of here.

"I got a question," Levi didn't bother to raise his hand. What? he was an adult now. "Why you so shrimpy? The adult version of you is so much larger."

"Puberty?" Erwin guessed. He wasn't comfortable with all the probing questions. "I don't know..."

Hanji wrote down puberty in her scientific journal. "Fascinating. Anything else?"

Oh dear Maria, Erwin thought, please let me go. I'm so hungry.

"Erwin?"

They better feed me after this.

"OI! MR EYEBROWS."

Erwin jolted back to the present. "Can I go now?" He's tired, and hungry, and fed up with this stupid exam and the stupid questions.

"Man up soldier," Levi snapped and Erwin's complaints fell silent. "Hanji, the least you could do is give him a towel. Privacy?"

"But Leviiiii!" She whined. "I wanted to do vitality tests. Strength! Endurance."

"Goddamit Hanji!" Levi threw the chair at her (she barely missed) and charged her. "He's a minor!"

"Ack! I'm sorry okay? Sorry Erwin, Sorry Levi. There, we good now?" She had her hands raised, trying to soothe Levi's rage.

"Don't hit her!" Erwin intervened.

Levi glared up at Erwin. "So the brat finally grows a spine?"

Erwin backed down immediately, tears building in his eyes. "I hate here!" Erwin's sudden outburst startled both adults. "I want my father!"