Disclaimer: I do not own Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Mineta tries flirting with...
Chapter six: The Showdown
The audience summoned to the theater room by Talespinner69 had just finished watching episode number five of the realm where Mineta, once per episode, tries flirting with a different girl in his year of the hero course at UA. So far, all efforts that Mineta had made were seen to have ended in failure, some more grand than others. Regardless, Mineta in the audience holds out hope that he'll get lucky and that he'll have some success with a girl.
"So all who's left for the creep to try to creep on is me and all of the girls in class 1-B," Kyoka said, shuddering a bit out of realization that she may still be targeted.
Clapping his hands together before he started rubbing them, Mineta remarked, "So I got eight more shots at succeeding. That's good."
"All that means is that you'll be bothering eight more girls, you little troll," Itsuka scolded, "With one of said girls being me."
Shrugging, Juzo said, "Relax, Itsuka. This realm has shown that the girls have all manner of means of dealing with Mineta. I'm sure that when your time comes, you'll be seen telling him to fuck off in style."
Nodding in agreement with Juzo, Izuku commented, "He's right. Although I don't think all of the physical abuse Mineta suffers in appropriate, one can argue that Mineta, from time to time, has it coming for his attitude towards girls."
Where she sat next to Ryukyu, Mirko snickered, "I still think the one episode where Ryukyu went after the little turd for bothering her girls is hilarious." Ryukyu could only roll her eyes.
"Well if all of you are done," Kotaro called out from where he and Tale stood in front of the big theater screen, "We got the next episode of the realm ready to play!"
Everyone turned front and center to look at the big theater screen, all of them wondering which girl Mineta will be shown setting his sights on next. Mineta himself is particularly curious, as he is still hoping to be seen scoring with a girl, or at the very least be seen having some measure of success with a girl.
...
(Mineta tries flirting with Kyoka Jiro)
"Eww, I figured that I was next," Kyoka in the audience said in a disgusted tone.
Shrugging, Tale said, "Well it makes sense. I mean, all of the girls shown so far are in class 1-A, the same class that Mineta is in. They're a lot closer to him in proximity, basically being down the hall or so from him."
"So he was shown going after all of us first because he doesn't have to walk as far to find us?" Hagakure asked.
Shrugging again, Tale replied, "Well that's my theory at least."
Folding his arms over his chest, Monoma said, "I was figuring he'd be seen trying his luck on all of the girls in his class first."
One morning during breakfast, Mineta found Sero, Kirishima, and Kaminari seated at the island counter in the kitchen area of the class 1-A dorm building. "Good morning, gentlemen," Mineta greeted, "How did all of you sleep?"
"I had a weird dream where Eri was giggling to herself while writing in a diary," Sero began, "And when Aizawa-sensei came over and asked what was so funny, Eri quickly closed the diary and told him it's a secret."
Giving off an amused chuckle, Kirishima said, "It sounds like she was writing about a boy that she likes."
"D'oh, that does sound cute," Hizashi in the audience said.
"Well if there's one good thing about Mineta going after girls here," Yaoyorozu said, "He's only going after girls in his same general age group. He's not been shown eyeing a girl who's around Eri's age."
Nodding in agreement, Mineta said, "Yeah, she's way to young for me."
Shrugging, Mineta said, "Well I think that Eri is getting to the age where little girls start to notice boys. But that's besides the point." Gesturing to himself, Mineta went on, "The point is that I'm a boy who has noticed the ladies, and I got lucky lady number six in my sights!"
Rolling his eyes, Sero said, "So who's the poor girl this time?"
"She's not poor, she's lucky," Mineta insisted, "And who I'm going to try for now is Kyoka, our class's resident music expert."
"No, no, Sero's got a point," Kyoka in the audience remarked.
"You can just jab Mineta with your earphone jacks repeatedly," Mina pointed out, "It's worked in the past before."
Looking up from his cereal, Kaminari said, "...Kyoka, you say."
Nodding in confirmation, Mineta said, "I do say. Watch it, boys, for by the end of today, I'll have her arms around me!" Mineta turned to leave, and made it to the front door of the dorm building. However, when he opened the door to leave, Mineta to his surprise saw that his path was blocked off by Kaminari standing there.
Confused, Mineta turned to look back where the other boys were still eating breakfast, saw that Kaminari wasn't sitting there anymore. Turning to look back at Kaminari standing in front of him, Mineta asked with some mild confusion in his tone, "How did you-"
"I used magic, but that's beside the point," Kaminari replied, cutting Mineta off in the process, "Remember when I said that if you try going after the girl I got my eye on, I'll fight you tooth and nail on the matter? ...Yeah, I'm here to fight you tooth and nail on the matter."
"Kaminari has his eyes on Kyoka?" Mina in the audience remarked in mild surprise.
"Well she is pretty awesome," Kaminari defended, "Personally, I'd actually enjoy getting together with her."
Nodding in agreement, Yaoyorozu said, "I can see how you and her would make a great couple."
Sighing, Kyoka said, "Well at least it's not Mineta."
"Oi!" Mineta cried out in a tone of complaint.
His eyes narrowing in a challenging manner, Mineta said, "...Very well, then. I haven't had to fight a guy for a girl's heart in a while, but I bet I can defeat you and win over Kyoka."
"There's no way you can beat me, Mineta," Kaminari explained as he held his arms out at his sides, "I have the high ground."
"You underestimate my power," Mineta retorted, "With the ladies." With that, Mineta's having to compete against Kaminari to try to impress Kyoka was a go.
"Mineta overestimates his power with the ladies is more like it," Kyoka in the audience snarked.
"Still, it would be nice seeing two boys fight one another for a girl's heart," Mina remarked, "It's part of why I like the first episode here where Izuku fought against Mineta to protect Uraraka's maiden honor."
Shrugging, Monoma said, "But this fight will just pit the class pervert against the class idiot. How will it-"
Monoma was cut off when Mineta and Kaminari both threw stuff at him. "...Wow, it feels weird to be on the giving end of this rather than the receiving end," Mineta remarked as he stopped in the middle of throwing stuff at Monoma, a look of realization on his face.
...
Mineta and Kaminari, with Sero and Kirishima watching, began to compete against one another in their little contest to see which one of them would be better for Kyoka. They started things off by trying to play musical instruments, given that Kyoka likes music. As the boys started getting ready, Bakugo wandered over randomly and saw what all was going on.
"The hell are you two doing?" Bakugo asked as he looked over at Mineta and Kaminari.
Getting Bakugo's attention, Kirishima said, "Oh Baku-bro, they're competing against one another because they're both aiming to get Kyoka to like them."
Bakugo, with a mildly confused look on his face, asked, "Didn't Grape Head fail when he had to tango with Deku when both tried going after Round Face?"
"He's going to try to sabotage me like he did when I faced Izuku in this realm," Mineta in the audience said in a tone of complaint, "Isn't he?"
Snickering to himself, Bakugo remarked, "If I do, I can't wait to see how I pull it off."
Shrugging, Sero said, "Well yeah, but since it turned out that Uraraka liked Izuku back, Mineta was already sort of slated to fail. Here, we have no idea about Kyoka's preferences as she has made no indication."
Bakugo wore a look of consideration on his face as he thought about how Mineta was now facing off against Kaminari for Kyoka's affections. "...Alright, I can see the guys having a music themed contest would work since Earplugs likes music. But I'm getting to decide on which instrument each guy plays."
Walking over to a pile of instruments that was provided ahead of time, Bakugo searched it for a bit, found two random ones that got his attention, and then walked over to where Mineta was primed to throw down against Kaminari. Handing an electric guitar over to Mineta, Bakugo said, "You get this one, Grape Head."
"It's just like the guitar I couldn't play for the school festival because I had trouble reaching the strings!" Mineta in the audience complained, "Bakugo is sabotaging me here!"
As Bakugo laughed out loud, Sero said, "It would have been nice, for the sake of fairness in the contest, if you had given Mineta something he could play."
"What, and risk putting Earplugs in Grape Head's path?" Bakugo replied.
"Sero is arguing for fairness, Kacchan," Izuku pointed out, "Not pushing Kyoka towards Mineta."
Shrugging, Kyoka said, "Actually, I think both sides are valid. Sero and Izuku because fairness in a contest is necessary, and Bakugo because I by no means want to be pushed towards Mineta."
Walking up to Kaminari, Bakugo handed him a flute-like instrument and said, "You, on the other hand, get this blue, potato-shaped flute whatever the fuck this is."
"It's an ocarina, Bakugo," Kaminari replied as he received the instrument.
At Bakugo's cue, the music showdown started, with Mineta going first. He was barely able to reach a string or two, and what notes he did play didn't mix well together. "That was fucking terrible, Grape Head," Bakugo said in an indifferent tone.
"Well maybe if you didn't hand me an instrument that's too impractical for me to handle due to size, I might have been able to perform better," Mineta replied.
"Exactly!" Mineta in the audience complained.
"Shut up, Grape Head," Bakugo retorted.
Gently shaking his head, Bakugo said, "No, Earplugs likes guitar, so you got guitar." To Kaminari, Bakugo said, "Now you try."
Looking to the ocarina he was holding, Kaminari shrugged as he said, "Well it's a good thing I played all that Ocarina of Time." Kaminari then proceeded to play a decent sounding bit of music on the ocarina. It lasted only a few seconds, but it sounded like actual music, rather than the pitiful mess of notes Mineta was barely able to get out.
"Oh, well would you look at that," Bakugo said, a very slight hint of knowingness in his tone, "Kaminari wins the first round."
Mineta gave Bakugo a suspicious look. "...You planned this." Bakugo merely flipped Mineta off in responce, his expression indifferent.
"He did sabotage me," Mineta in the audience said in a sad tone.
Folding his arms over his chest, Aizawa remarked, "Yeah, that seemed rather unfair, not of course I would expect Bakugo to give Mineta much of a chance."
"How does me playing what sounds like a video game help me play an ocarina?" Kaminari asked rhetorically.
...
Next in the showdown between Mineta and Kaminari, Mina got in on the action when Sero and the other boys in their group of friends told her what was going on. Sero, Kirishima and Bakugo were gathered around watching as Mina began explaining her challenge to Mineta and Kaminari. "If there's one thing I know Kyoka will like in a guy, it's the ability to work well with young kids," Mina began, "Luckily, Tsuyu's little brother is still staying here at UA as part of that witness protection deal."
Mina went into the other room from the common area of the 1-A dorm building that the contest was taking place in, then came back out with Samidare. "For your challenge, boys," Mina said, "You both have to try to bond with lil' Samidare here." Tsuyu's little brother stuck a small bit of his tongue out in a 'blep' kind of manner.
Some of the girls in the audience giggled cutely out of how adorable Tsuyu's little brother was being. Meanwhile, Mineta was looking annoyed. "That little demon has it out for me, I swear," Mineta complained as he gestured to the big theater screen.
Folding his arms over his chest, Kaminari said, "Actually, the Mina on screen might be onto something. As we're all training to be pro heroes, we ought to have at least some idea as to how to handle kids, as we'll either be rescuing them from some manner of danger or they'll be super excited to see us as pro heroes. Some kids might even become fans of ours."
Aizawa's eyes widened in surprise at what Kaminari was talking about. "...Those are all valid points, actually."
Mineta decided to go first with Samidare, being careful not to let his temper get the best of him since he's had a rough run-in with Samidare before. "So, uhh...I got it down from the sticker that you put on my test that got a D- that you aren't all that fond of Present Mic," Mineta began, trying to make small talk.
"Present Mic is really loud," Samidare replied, sounding a bit nervous, "And loud is scary."
"Is that why you have him as the D- sticker?" Mineta replied, a bit surprised to learn the reason behind Samidare ranking Hizashi-sensei so low that he only outranks Endeavor.
Shrugging, Hizashi in the audience said, "So that's why the me sticker is given out on a D- grade. And hey, at least I still outrank Endeavor."
"Loud strikes my little brother as scary in this realm kero?" Tsuyu remarked in a surprised tone, "Wow, that seems a bit weird."
"How come some kid thinks I'm lower ranking than a hero who's not even in the actual top one-hundred?" Endeavor practically exclaimed.
Shrugging, Mirko said, "The kid in question seems like a shy, timid, soft-spoken kind of kid, and the way you come off as can easily be seen as obscenely frightening. I bet he'd be more drawn to a pro hero with a kind, gentle personality." Ryukyu nodded in agreement.
After Samidare nodded a bit nervously, Mineta said, "Hey kiddo, I bet that Hizashi-sensei would be agreeable to keep the volume down around you if you ask."
Samidare shook a bit out of fright. "...I can't. I'm too scared to go up and ask."
Mina had Mineta back off so that Samidare could relax a bit. After a few moments, Mina gave the cue to Kaminari to try connecting with Tsuyu's little brother. "So lil' dude, how you liking the life here at UA so far?" Kaminari asked in a friendly, mildly amused tone.
"He's trying to put Samidare at easy with a friendly tone and expression," Tsuyu in the audience took note of, "Not a bad start."
Shrugging, Sero said, "Well Kaminari is a fun, friendly dude. I bet he'd be able to connect well with kids."
While Kaminari gave off an amused air, Mineta just scowled bitterly. "Oh, of all the luck."
"Well, I get to see Tsuyu more often ever since she moved into the school," Samidare began, "And a lot of Tsuyu's classmates seem like nice people."
"That would probably explain why you got us those chocolate bars a few days ago," Kaminari said, "Although I have to ask, why did you give two to Tokoyami?"
"One was for Shadow Friend," Samidare explained.
"Aww, he gave an extra chocolate bar to Tokoyami for Dark Shadow," Mina in the audience gushed, touched by how sweet Samidare was being without even trying.
Chuckling in amusement, Tokoyami said, "That would be sweet of him if it occurred for real."
"And giving the girls cookies and cream bars over the milk chocolate the boys got?" Kaminari asked.
"Cookies and cream is the best," Samidare said, "And mom and dad told me I have to be nice to girls, so I gave them cookies and cream."
Kaminari chuckled in amusement, saying, "That sounds pretty tight, little dude. You're one heck of a team player." Samidare giggled a little bit out of someone being sincerely nice to him, then agreed to do a fist bump with Kaminari. Since it was clear that Samidare was in far higher spirits with Kaminari, he was given the win.
However, the last round was a winner take all section as decided by Kirishima, mostly because he wanted to know what the guys intended to do with Kyoka, and to see if they would be manly when in the company of a nice girl.
Nodding in agreement, Kirishima in the audience said, "Yeah, part of being manly is being a gentleman towards the girls. That's part of why I don't think Mineta acts all that manly, because his conduct towards the girls isn't what a gentleman would do."
"That being said," Kyoka said, "Chances are that Mineta will blow it big time."
"Hey, give me a chance!" Mineta demanded.
...
Later when Kirishima had his trial set up, he had Kaminari and Mineta stand in front of him while Bakugo, Sero, and Mina stood by to watch. "Alright, I just want to ask you two one simple question," Kirishima asked, "What would you like to do with Kyoka if she agreed to go out with you?" Gesturing to Mineta, Kirishima said, "We'll start with you, Mineta."
"Well I'd be interested in doing what any guy would want to do with a fine lady," Mineta replied, "You know, wine and dine her, get her in the mood, give her the business-"
"Figures you'd want to have sex as soon as you can," Kaminari scoffed, interrupting Mineta in the middle of his explanation.
Turning on Kaminari, Mineta snapped, "Oh, like you're one to talk, Kaminari! Like I said, what guy wouldn't want to indulge in his base instincts?"
"Although he's not as bad about it as Mineta from what I have been able to gleam," Uraraka in the audience began, "I still get the idea that Kaminari still has a bit of a perverted side to him."
"All guys once they find first wood are like that," Mineta explained in a knowing tone. This got him a few thrown objects lobbed at his head.
Shrugging, Kaminari replied, "Yeah, sex is cool and all, but there's something even better and more valuable that a girl can give to a boy."
Mineta, as well as Kaminari's friends that were watching, all looked interested at what the electric quirk user was implying. "Oh?" Mineta asked, "And what, pray tell, is that?"
Instead of speaking, Kaminari pointed to somewhere out in the living room area. Looking in the direction that Kaminari was pointing, Mineta and everyone else saw Izuku and Uraraka sitting on the sofa together, watching the news as they were cuddled right up next to one another. Uraraka had even fallen asleep and was resting her head against Izuku.
"That," Kaminari said, "Little moments like sitting together all cuddled up on the sofa while watching TV, or maybe holding hands while going on a stroll through the park together. Hell, it'd be badass as all get out if Kyoka was around to give me a shoulder to cry on when my family's pet cat that we had since I was two died."
"Aww, that is so sweet," Mina in the audience gushed again, sounding like she might even cry out of how touched she was over Kaminari wanting to love, to have love.
Kyoka, for her part, blushed a bit out of embarrassment. "That...well if Kaminari had a side like that for real, and dropped his Mineta-influenced side, then maybe..."
"And Uraraka looks so cute cuddled up with Izuku like that," Nejire commented.
Nodding in agreement, Mirio said, "Yes, I'd have to give Midoriya-kun props for getting to that point in a relationship with a girl." Where she sat on Aizawa's lap, Eri clapped her hands as she cheered for Izuku.
Looking at Kaminari in confusion, Mineta said, "What are you saying?"
"That what I would love to get out of being with Kyoka," Kaminari began to explain, "More than anything else, would be comfort and emotional support. I pretty much want with Kyoka what Izuku has with Uraraka."
"You won't want sex with her?" Mineta asked, sounding a bit surprised.
Shrugging, Kaminari said, "Hey, if she wants it then I'd be glad to oblige. But it's not like I'm going to try to force the matter onto her just to-"
"Really?"
Everyone stopped short and turned to look, seeing Kyoka come out from around the corner. "That's...that's what you want? Just to love and be together? You'd even let me call it if and when we do it?"
"Ooh, this looks like the moment," Gentle Criminal in the audience said.
"I got a feeling that things will soon bring tears to our eyes," Skeptic remarked.
Looking from side to side, Kaminari replied, "Well you'd be surprised with how much guys love it to have a gentle touch help them when they go through a rough patch in li-" Kaminari was cut off when Kyoka rushed him, threw her arms around him and just stood there, hugging and holding Kaminari.
As Mineta looked up at him, Kaminari gave him a smirk and flipped him off, neither of which Kyoka saw. Mineta scowled in annoyance as he could clearly tell that not only did Kaminari win, he was rubbing it in Mineta's face.
...
The following morning, Mineta walked down the stairs to the ground floor of the 1-A dorm building, went into the kitchen. Upon entering, he saw that Kyoka was sitting next to Kaminari while Sero and Kirishima sat around. "...So I failed with every girl in our class," Mineta said, a slight hint of defeat in his tone.
"As he should have," Hagakure in the audience commented.
Sighing, Mineta said, "Please be quiet."
"So maybe now you'll leave us alone?" Kyoka asked dryly.
Shrugging, Mineta replied, "Well since there are seven untested potential fine ladies over in class 1-B, I'll be busy."
Eyes widening out of concern, Sero said, "Wait. You're going to try harassing the girls over in class 1-B now?"
"I don't harass girls, Sero," Mineta declared, "And why shouldn't I?"
"Yes, you do harass girls," Kyoka in the audience said dryly.
"And there could be a myriad of reasons why bothering the girls in the rival class could blow up in your face even worse than how things went for you when you tried going after the girls in our class, Mineta," Ojiro pointed out.
"I got it that over half of the girls in 1-B either one, likes boys in our class," Sero began to explain, "Or two, boys in our class like them. You'll either be rejected outright by a girl who is interested in another guy, or one of the boys in our class will fight you tooth and nail because you're making a move on his crush."
Shrugging, Mineta said, "Oh please. At most, I'd probably have to face off against Aoyama or Koda for a class 1-B girl in that case. I can take them."
"Oh really now," Aoyama in the audience said as he and Koda both turned to look at Mineta.
"Well can you blame a guy?" Mineta replied.
Sighing, Sero said, "Whatever. Just don't come crying to us when you fail with all of the girls over in class 1-B."
"I'll succeed with one, mark my words!" Mineta declared confidently.
"No," Kyoka replied flatly.
FIN
Sighing, Mineta said, "Well at least I have a chance with the girls in 1-B."
"I've been warned about you by Yaoyorozu," Itsuka said, "So I hope like hell you fail with me."
"I wanna see how we screw with you when you try flirting with us," Setsuna commented.
Turning to look at Aizawa, Sekijiro said, "Oh Shouta, that reminds me. I'm not sure how you run your class, but if any of your boys harasses any of my girls, I will take action."
Nodding in understanding, Aizawa said, "Duly noted."
Turning to look at Kotaro, Tale asked, "What do you think will happen in this realm when Mineta tries going after the girls in 1-B?"
"A whole new kind of crazy," Kotaro said, "Everything up to now was contained in just one class, but now there will be cross-class chaos." Rubbing his hands together in eager anticipation, Kotaro went on, "Methinks the fun will be doubled."
END OF CHAPTER
Author's notes;
Yeah, I was planning since the beginning to start with 1-A, finish them, then do 1-B. I mean, if you think about it, it would actually be the most logical thing; the 1-A girls are the ones who are most familiar to Mineta, so he'd try all of them out first. Now that all of them are off the table for him, Mineta will be forced to try his luck with the girls in class 1-B.
Who wants to bet who the first 1-B girl Mineta will go after will be?