Sasuke had been going on only by seeing Naruto in school but when the blonde didn't appear one day he felt uneasy. He felt a strong need to go check on the blonde but he wasn't sure if Naruto wanted to see him. When one day of absence turned into a week Sasuke couldn't hold back anymore.
Going to Naruto's apartment he asked Kurama if he knew where Naruto was and the red head had been surprised to find out that Naruto had not been in school. There was only one more place that Kurama could think of and Sasuke asked the older boy to let him go alone although Kurama was concerned too.
Sasuke ran all the distance, not slowing down when he was out of breath and pushing himself further when his muscles ached only allowing his body the much needed rest when the blonde figure was in his line of site. He stopped before Naruto could see him and watched the blonde from afar as he caught his breath.
Naruto was sitting on the grass with his back against a grave stone and his hands wrapped around his knees. On the grave there was a single white rose and a lit white candle. Naruto was looking in front of him but he was deep in thoughts.
"Naruto." Sasuke called his name slowly approaching the boy. Giving a quick glance at the grave with a rose on it he read 'Uzumaki Kushina, Gentle mother and devoted wife and Minato, Loving husband and father May their souls rest in peace'.
The blonde's head turned towards him but his eyes were empty, devoid of emotion. "What do you want, Sasuke?" His voice sounded tired and Sasuke's heart ached to see him like that. He had never seen Naruto like this not even after all the bullying he went through in school and it scared him. Naruto was strong but now he was more like a shadow of his former self.
"You didn't come to school for a week." Naruto turned his gaze away once again.
"Were you sent to bring my homework?"
"Idiot, you made me worry?" Sasuke said as if it should have been obvious why he was there in the first place but Naruto didn't find it obvious anymore.
"There's no need for you to be here if you didn't bring the homework that I'll have to turn in when I get back to school."
"So now our relationship is just formal?" Sasuke couldn't hold back the anger that built up inside him at Naruto's words. Everything they had been through had been erased for the blonde and now they were just classmates. He won't have that.
"What do you want from me, Sasuke? You come to me and tell me that you love me, then you act all nice and make me fall for you only to hurt me and become distant. I can't do this, Sasuke. Go back to your lover and leave me alone."
The pain in Sasuke's chest became unbearable. He had promised to himself to make Naruto happy, to make him laugh more often so that he could see that bright blonde again, the one he became addicted to. Falling on his knees he began to cry. He felt so hopeless and desperate that he couldn't hold back his tears.
"Itachi." The word escaped his mouth with a tired and defeated voice.
"What about him?" Naruto asked confused.
"I've been having sex with my brother." Naruto was in shock and Sasuke could see fear in his expression too. There was no disgust though and that gave the raven who was also afraid a glimpse of hope. "He didn't rape me if that's what you're thinking. It just happened without me even realizing it wasn't normal behavior between brothers and when I did realize….I guess I didn't want it to stop. I can't do it anymore though."
"Why? You are not bound by your promise to me anymore."
"I can't have sex with Itachi when I can only think of you." Sasuke confessed. The last thing to do that he could think of in an attempt to mend his relationship with Naruto was to pour all his feelings and secrets to Naruto. His entire being was crumbling in front of Naruto.
Naruto wrapped his arms around his knees even tighter, as if trying to make his body smaller until he disappeared in the wind but of course that wouldn't happen so he was left there to face Sasuke's confession.
After a sleepless night the amount of information and emotions were overwhelming for him and he couldn't deal with them. He still loved Sasuke but what should he do? Should he try again and give the raven a second chance or stay distant and safe from being hurt again?
"I'm sorry…I won't tell anyone about your secret, don't worry."
"I don't know if you realized but I stopped playing safe once I told you my darkest secret, the only secret that I kept from you."
"And what does that mean?"
"It means that I still love you and I want you to be my boyfriend." Sasuke sat down on the grass beside Naruto and held him in his arms, the feeling that Naruto would disappear if he didn't do so being stronger than ever. He had lost the blonde once but will never let that happen ever again. "I just don't want to hurt you and it seems that it is all I do."
They stayed like that for a while in the cold breeze. A part of Naruto wanted to pull back and stay away from the one who hurt him so much but he was exhausted and cold and being able to rest his head on the raven's chest while being held felt so good, so right.
"This is so messed up." Naruto broke the silence. "You and Itachi…"
"Yeah, I know."
"You love each other…"
"I have always loved him as a brother and nothing else but he was the only one who was there for me as I grew up, the only one who ever showed me love and the only one I loved. We are not close to our parents as you might think."
"What about him though, what about his feelings? I'm sure you don't want to hurt him."
"I think I already have. I don't think he can let go of me especially now that our parents are planning to engage him to a girl he doesn't like at all."
Naruto raised his gaze to look into the onyx eyes. "I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me."
"I don't think that can be helped but I don't blame you. None of us can help how we feel. I can't help that I love you and Itachi can't help loving me either."
"I know…"
A pale hand reached to caress a tanned cheek and Sasuke smiled. In spite of the uncertain situation regarding their relationship and in spite of the fact that they were both hurt Sasuke felt content to hold Naruto like that, just to have him close and not be pushed away. He missed the proximity of the other and he wanted to do a lot more now that Naruto was there, he wanted to show the blonde how much he loved him with every fiber of his being, with every cell in his body. He wanted to give himself to the blonde entirely but that would have to wait because Naruto needed time to think and rest.
"Come on, let's get you home." Naruto didn't fight back and stood up yawning. Only now did he realize how tired he really was.
Naruto fell on his bed exhausted and closed his eyes. "Will you stay?" he asked softly, already half asleep.
"I'll stay for a while."
Sasuke decided to never leave Naruto's side again, he never wanted to feel the way he did in the last few weeks, to be forced to only look at Naruto from afar and crave to touch him and kiss him. Once he tasted those rosy lips he couldn't go on without kissing them again that's how addicted he was to Naruto.
The blonde was asleep and Sasuke gently kissed his forehead before going home.
"Do you miss it?" Naruto asked him one day and Sasuke gave him a confused look. They hadn't talked about their relationship since Sasuke's confession and although Sasuke's patience was running thin he didn't want to rush Naruto. Enough damage had been done already.
"Miss what?"
"Having sex with Itachi."
The words felt heavy on Sasuke's consciousness. The answer to this question would hurt someone even more but the desire to be honest with Naruto was strong. He needed to be honest with the one he loved because that's how he thought people who loved each other should be. It had been a principle of life for both him and Itachi and they had always been honest to one another.
"I do. But doing it now would hurt both you and him."
"Why do you say that?"
"I don't think you want me to have sex with him and if I did I'd only think of you. I always did it with him in my mind, completely aware of his presence and his actions and everything I did was for him as well as for me. It wouldn't be fair if my thoughts drifted to you when I'm with him, he'd know and he'd be hurt."
"You are so considerate." Naruto smiled.
"I am towards the people who are important to me."
"Then show me how important I am to you."
Sasuke cupped his cheeks and gave him a light kiss on the lips, a kiss full of happiness that he was allowed to taste those lips again. That kiss brought forth desire and lust that had been buried deep and suppressed for a long time for the blonde's sake making the kisses that followed more urgent.
He pushed Naruto on his back on the bed and kissed him full of passion. The blonde moaned as Sasuke's lips moved to his neck, licking and sucking the soft sensitive skin.
Naruto felt the temperature in the room rise as Sasuke's hand moved along his bare skin and looked at Sasuke with pleading eyes. The raven smiled at him and helped him take the shirt off then kissed his stomach like Itachi kissed Sasuke's since he was a baby.
Sasuke was on top of him, their members touching and the raven sucked a nipple then licked it before moving to the other. His eyes were fixed on the blonde beneath him and a lopsided smile adorned his face at the sight of Naruto's flushed face.
"You have no idea how beautiful you are right now." Sasuke said fondly.
"Shut up." Naruto's face became even redder and his gaze moved away from Sasuke.
"Are you embarrassed?" His question was met with silence but the answer was obvious. "Look at me." He ordered gently. "I want to see your face."
The sky blue eyes met his own onyx ones and as he drowned in the endless blue once again he couldn't help the feeling that he just wanted to abandon himself to the blonde, give his entire existence to him.
"I want to give you everything I have: my heart, my soul and my body." Sasuke said with a pleading expression, begging the blonde to accept his offer. Naruto was obviously taken aback, not expecting something like that but was definitely moved.
"I accept you as my equal and nothing less. I don't want you to give me what I don't give you."
"And what are you not willing to give me?"
"Nothing."
Sasuke got off of Naruto and discarded his clothes in a pile beside Naruto's bed, remaining naked in front of the stunned blonde. Sasuke could tell that he was embarrassed especially since they didn't have any alcohol in their system this time but he didn't want this experience to be influenced by anything else than true feelings. He didn't want either of them to be able to blame alcohol or drugs if they regretted this later although he knew for sure that he never will.
"Would you regret it this time?" Naruto's heart sank as he understood what Sasuke was referring to and how he had hurt the raven that day he spent at the Uchiha's residence. Things have changed so much since then; now he was certain that he loved Sasuke and Sasuke had told him what he needed to know. He couldn't blame Sasuke for wanting to be certain though, for not wanting to be hurt again.
Standing up he too discarded his clothes on top of Sasuke's and looked the raven in the eyes.
"No." Sasuke made the first move kneeling in front of Naruto and taking him in his mouth and bobbing his head slowly never breaking eye contact with Naruto.
Naruto was once again overwhelmed by the hot, wet mouth that enveloped him and set his body on fire. The last time he experience this was enveloped in a blur due to the alcohol but now he was sober and could feel Sasuke's tongue licking his length and sucking his testicles with a clear mind.
"Oh God, Sasuke…"He moaned. His face was flushed and lewd and he was aware that Sasuke was looking at him which only made him more embarrassed. He almost wanted to be drunk again to not feel the embarrassment but at the same time he wanted to feel Sasuke. His hands reached the raven's head and his fingers tangled in the dark locks keeping Sasuke close to his member but not preventing him to move. Sasuke took him throat deep and using his hand stroke him until he climaxed, then swallowed and stroke him some more to take the last drips on his tongue.
Naruto's heart was beating fast by the time Sasuke pulled back and he hated the fact that he was a mess already while Sasuke was still composed. Seeing Sasuke so composed added to his insecurities. He needed Sasuke to be as much of a mess as he was to know that he had as much effect over the raven as the raven had on him.
"Sit with your back against the wall." Sasuke told him and he obliged. Straddling him Sauske cupped his cheeks. "Are you alright?" he asked fondly but with a tint of concern.
"Yeah…" He said not wanting to ruin the moment.
"You look like something is bothering you."
"Tell me what you want me to do to make you feel the way I do." Sasuke smiled at him, relived that his lover's concern was just something simple like that.
"You don't need to worry about that. I want to see you flushed and lewd because of me and don't worry I will tell you what I want you to do as long as you do too."
"So what do you want now?" Naruto felt a bit more assured although still uncomfortable. Sasuke was more experienced than him, having done this several times already and he couldn't help but feel helpless not even knowing how Sasuke liked to be touched.
The raven kissed him gently a few times to dissipate his worries "I want to feel you inside me." He then whispered in Naruto's ears. "Can I?" Naruto nodded and Sasuke aligned the blonde's member with his puckered entrance and lowered himself a bit until the head of Naruto's dick was inside him. "Is it alright?" He asked just to make sure Naruto was fine but his body was already on fire at the thought of Naruto inside him. Naruto nodded and with a swift motion the raven's puckered entrance swallowed Naruto's lengths. Sasuke began to move, grinding their thighs for more contact, feeling the throbbing erection inside him. It was smaller than Itachi's but that was to be expected. It didn't fill him up in the same way but it felt just as good. His head tilted backwards as he kept on grinding.
"Sasuke…I'm gonna come if you keep this up." Naruto whined.
"Good." Sasuke lifted himself up until just half of Naruto's lengths was inside him and gave Naruto a lustful look. "Move your hips." The blonde pushed his length inside Sasuke until their thighs met. Once he had a taste of what it was to be inside his lover he wanted more. Sasuke was only allowing him half way in and his movements became more urgent with the need to be inside. Sasuke shifted his position a few times until Naruto hit his prostate and let out a desperate cry.
"There….right there….do that again." he begged almost panting.
Naruto moved his hips a few more times. "Is that alright?" He then asked already flushed once again but happy that he was doing something right.
Sasuke's hands moved to his back, digging his fingers in the flesh. It hurt but Naruto didn't mind. Sasuke's lewd face that is mere millimeters away from his own, the hot breath that leaves the raven's mouth and caresses his tanned cheek, the onyx eyes glowing with need and desire are everything he could have asked for.
"Yeah…don't stop." The raven's lips met his and his hands grabbed tighter the pale hips.
They were both tired when he stopped and Sasuke almost fell on top of him. Naruto couldn't move even if he wanted to and Sasuke sunk onto him panting.
"You feel so good inside me." Sasuke said as he tried to catch his breath.
"Does it feel as good as it does with Itachi?" He must have said something wrong because Sasuke pulls away from the embrace and gets off of him.
"I'd never compare you to Itachi." He said with a cold voice and Naruto couldn't help but feel that he had messed up. "I don't care about your lack of experience if that's what's bothering you. This feels right, it is what I want. What do you want?"
"I want inside you." The blonde answered honestly full of guilt and Sasuke couldn't help but smile. He was not angry at his blonde, just sad that Naruto saw Itachi as a rival, a rivalry that should never exist.
"Then take me." Sasuke lied on the bed once again and spread his legs like he did for Itachi. "It will be easier in this position." Naruto took the gesture as an act of forgiveness and entered Sasuke once again, glad to feel his lover's warmth. He began to move his hips, his hands resting on Sasuke's thigh, spreading him further apart.
The raven squirmed beneath him, grabbing the sheets beneath him but Naruto wanted to see him with a lewd expression again so he searched for that spot again. He knew when he had found it from the moan that escaped Sasuke's lips and he tried to hit the same spot again and again.
The raven beneath him looked so vulnerable and beautiful with a lewd face and he was glad that they changed positions so that he can have a better view.
"Move faster." Sasuke begged.
Naruto picks up a pace that becomes faster and more urgent as a desperate need rises from the depth of his being. The need turns into desire and lust at the sight of the thrashing raven beneath him.
"Yes, Naruto…..fuck me." Sasuke moans, his breath labored by the violent way in which he is handled, every jolt cutting his breath for a moment and sending waves of pleasure throughout his body. He was being pushed further on the bed by the strength of the thrusts until his head hit the wooden headboard. He hissed at the sudden pain and Naruto pulled him away from the headboard.
"I'm going to come." Naruto cried.
"Then come inside me and make me come to your dick." Tanned fingers dug deeper in the pale thighs as the blonde released his seed inside Sasuke. Feeling more relieved he realized that he was getting tired again but Sasuke was not ready yet. The raven's neglected erection was dripping pre-cum and Sasuke was desperate to cum.
"Naruto." He said with a firm voice in spite of the lewd expression on his face. "Fuck me." The raven began to move his hips with desperate movements, fucking himself on the tired blonde's dick since the amount of power the blonde provided was not enough.
He came all over his stomach and that made him feel a little better although the desire was still there. It was Naruto's first time though and he could understand and wait patiently for next time, after all he had Naruto cum twice and the blonde must be drained.
"Sorry." The quiet, sheepish voice startled him.
"What for?"
"I couldn't do it right." A pale hand cupped a tanned, scarred cheek and Sasuke kissed his lover's soft lips.
"You did perfect, better than Itachi even." At that name being mentioned blue eyes rose to search for the onyx ones. There was a glimpse of hope in them and Sasuke couldn't refrain himself from kissing the blonde again. He looked so cute when he was shy. "Itachi loves to tease me and I let him do it but I actually wanted something different for once." He explained. "You're tired, I understand. Now come on, we need to get cleaned up and I need to go home."