Chapter 6 The Spring Festival

Thanks to Johanna002, When-A-Sprite-Meets-Unicorn, Ms S, VeraRose19 for reading and commenting. I'm totaly in late in my updates, and also in my reading of your stories. I'll have more possibilities to do it that week. I hope all of you are doing well.

XXX

When she was a child, Cecilia went to mass with her grandmother every Sunday. First, she had done everything she was asked to do. She had sung, she had prayed. But, when she was about ten, boredom had set in and her eyes had slipped towards the stained glass windows. One of them represented the Virgin Mary. Cecilia loved to look at her long dress, and her sweet face. Instead of addressing her prayers to God, Cecilia addressed them to her.

When her grandmother asked her to be more focused, and to stop dreaming, she had started to close her eyes. Her lips were moving. She said what she was asked to say. But behind her closed eyelids scrolled the details of Mary's face. She realized she could do it again, replace something boring with a beloved image.

That morning, lying next to Ingrid, she wasn't bored at all. Yet she did the same thing as in the little church where her grandmother took her: she knew that the piles of books on the floor, the green carpet, and the large mahogany mirror were there. With her eyes closed, she was filling her mind with those details that helped her wake up slowly. She was happy to be in this room listening to the birds singing during the sun was rising .

Ingrid moved next to her. Three weeks had passed since she had asked Cecilia to come to her own place after a dinner with her parents. Against all odds, that night, they both finally fell asleep in this bedroom that reminded of adolescence. Since then, there had been other dinners, and nights like this one.

Cecilia curled up on her side of the bed. Ingrid was giving a lot, and she didn't want to take too much. She wanted this to continue. She wanted to believe that those moments, those so important moments in her life, were always hers.

"What are you doing?" She jumped slightly when she heard Ingrid's sleepy voice.

"I respect your space," she replied.

Ingrid slipped towards her. Cecilia smelled the pink scent of her shampoo, her long red hair against her cheek.

"It's a bit late for that, isn't it?" She grumbled. "Each time, I tell myself that I should stay away from you, and yet I let you come back."

Cecilia laughed. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to tell Ingrid that if she gave her back her old place in her life, she wouldn't change anything, she wouldn't tell her mother about her. Still, her girlfriend deserved it.

Then she thought of the prayers she addressed to the Virgin Mary. She didn't really believed in God since a long time, but when the going got tough, she whispered her little litanies that she made up. She knew that once in her car, she would ask Mary to give her more strength, courage to assume to be the woman she was, in the eyes of all.

"I would like to do it, you know," she said calmly. "Sometimes I want to phone my mother, tell her I'm a lesbian, and that we almost live together."

"We've talked about this hundreds and hundreds of times." Ingrid stood up with a sigh, walking over to a chair where her messy clothes were.

"I know, but since I can't change my attitude, and you can't get me out of your life ..."

"You want me to do it," Ingrid snapped, her arms raised, her T-shirt in her hands.

"No, no." Cecilia joined her. She was now in front of her. She grabbed the shirt, took one of Ingrid's hands in hers.

"Please don't leave me," she pleaded. "That's all I can tell you, that's all I can ask you. I don't know if I'll be able to talk to my mother, but I want you to stay in my life, please."

Ingrid sighed, removed a few strands that had fallen on her face.

"You tire me out, Cecilia," she whispered.

"I know. I'm sorry," Her voice broke, and she felt her hand shake. "Maybe I could live without you, but it would be too sad. I tried and I don't want to"

"I didn't tell my parents that I wanted to break up if you didn't tell your mother and the others about us," Ingrid muttered. She frowned, "It sounds horrible, when I say it out loud," she chuckled.

"Don't be mad at me if I don't comment on this," Cecilia retorted.

"You're a lucky girl, Mendosa. Me neither, I'm not good at being a responsible adult."

"Maybe we grew up too fast," Cecilia remarked.

She grabbed her own jeans, neatly folded on the floor. Ingrid chuckled. Maybe it was weariness, fear of being apart, or the need to enjoy life, but Cecilia felt she still had a place in her partner's.

XXX

It was a Wednesday like any other. It was 5:00 pm, and the coffee shop was filled with the usual 5:00 pm customers. Teenagers who had come to study were actually giggling loudly. Tired parents were seated with their children, for a little break, after music lessons or a sports afternoon. Gloria barely heard Joe Caputo. Although, unfortunately, she understood perfectly what he was saying to her.

"It's just a little festival going on in the spring, you know. The coofee shop could join it. You'd have to serve drinks, that sort of thing." He was smiling, and Gloria remembered his goodwill, that urge to always do the best thing for everyone.

But, she gave him a dark look, the kind of look Flaca and Maritza received when they neglected their work in the kitchen.

"Think about it Mendosa. I mean, Mrs. Mendosa," stammered the poor Caputo. At Litchfield they had made a good team, and Gloria knew he respected her, perhaps more than the other women. But since the warden / inmate relationship no longer existed, things were a bit difficult for him. Because Gloria found the situation rather amusing.

"The money raised will be donated to the Poussey Washington Fund." There was so much hope in Caputo's voice that Gloria didn't have the heart to refuse his offer.

"Okay, I'll tell the other girls about it," she growled resignedly.

Caputo repressed a movement of glee, and Gloria smiled. The festival was held in March, in a long time. She had other concerns. Flaca and Juliana had returned to Colombia. Since their leaving, Gloria had a lot of free time to think about Cecilia. She had rarely spoken to her daughter since their argument over Christina's situation. Gloria hadn't told Aleida about it. She wouldn't, just to show Cecilia that she could trust her. She didn't know what to think about the young girl's decision, or if she was right to keep this information to herself, but she had no other solution.

XXX

Sophia was living in Newyork. Most of the time, Gloria enjoyed this, because as she had a place to sleep when she visited her family. But, tonight, she would have wanted Sophia to be near her, to go drink some cocktails, and talk to her about everything that was wrong in her life. She firstly had called Sophia to get news. The warmth in her voice had prompted her to continue, to talk about her worries. An hour later, Gloria was watching the smoke from her third cigarette evaporate into the night, as she paced her small balcony.

"Are you upset with your daughter?" Sophia asked.

"No," Gloria replied. "I was surprised, but she's a nurse. Nurses do that things."

"The firefighters too. I mean, the most important it's the patients and their needs."

"Hmm, I know."

Gloria added nothing. She thought of Umps, whom she had asked Sophia to save, whom Sophia had rescued, despite the man he was. She knew Sophia was thinking about it too.

"I hope Christina is doing well," she finally said .

"You can't talk to her about it but you can ask the question to your daughter ," Sophia observed.

Gloria inhaled some smoke, huffed. She smelled its pungent odor in the night air.

"Three cigarettes, you should stop," Sophia scolded her gently.

Gloria smiled. It reminded her of their good moments at Litchfield, though there hadn't been many.

"It's difficult," she said. Her daughter's closed face passed through her mind.

"It takes time, that's all," Sophia replied.

"There is something else." Gloria didn't want to talk about it, but Sophia was the only person in the world she could do it with.

"The other day, one of Ceci's colleague,a girl with whom she comes often, came to the coffee shop."

Sophia said nothing, prompting her to continue.

"It was a quiet morning, I was serving hot drinks, pancakes, stuff like that. I felt a look on my back. When I turned around, I saw her, sitting alone at a table. "

"She came to see you?" Sophia asked.

"I think so. When I brought her her cappuccino, she asked me if I remembered her. We talked a bit and she told me that her steepmother had the same first name as me.

A few seconds passed. Gloria knew Sophia understood.

"I think, maybe they are ..."

"Together."

"Either that or this girl is a stalker."

"You really believe?" Sophia asked michivously.

Gloria thought of the redhead girl, her shy voice and sad face. However, she remembered the joy in her daughter's eyes when she saw them together.

"No, I don't think so," she replied.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"A little," Gloria admitted. I mean, it's Cecilia, we've had a better relationship those last years, but I'm pretty uncomfortable with her overall. I don't know how to talk to her about this. "

"Maybe it's a good thing ... that your daughter is gay," Sophia said thoughtfully. She continued before Gloria asked her to clarify. "She'll be happier knowing who she really is and accepting it. You should wait until you're completely comfortable if you talk to her about it. But, maybe it's better if she does it herself. . "

Gloria sighed, it was obvious.

"If she is hiding it from you, it means your opinion is important to her. She may be afraid of your reaction."

Gloria smiled. Sophia knew what she was talking about. She thought about the support Chrystal was giving her. Their relationship had not been easy, but her friend had always been able to count on his wife's unconditional love. Sophia had become the woman she was now, in part thanks to Crystal. She wondered what person Cecilia could become if she gave her her own support, her own approval.

"You are right," she said.

A deep gratitude washed over her. Things weren't always easy, but at this point, she was happy to have Sophia in her life.