This chapter containts suicide thougths. So read on with caution. It shows how deep you can spiral down and that somethimes the littliest thing can get you out of it.
Hope you enjoy it nonetheless :)

It already did. Dylan got over his past and revenge. So, there was nothing left here but memories. "What if I would become a memory too?" Daniel whispered to himself. What would happen? Would anyone come to his funeral? Would there even be such? He had no family left. His mother died when he was young and his father… his father was a drunkard since then and would beat the shit out of him for resembling his mother so much. Less likely that his father was even still alive…. Only possibility was his sister, but she never saw him as family anyway. The day their mum died, she left. Nowhere seen since.

So would it matter? He made quite the impact on the world with the show but… was it enough to be remembered…? Maybe even like Shrike?
*sigh*
Daniel sat down. The cold muddy ground felt wet. The rain hasn't stopped, and his face was drenched. But was it the rain that made his cheeks wet and eyes swollen red?
*sigh*
The sun had gone down, and it was dark. The only light came from the houses in the distance. There was this numbness across his body. A light tingling but at the same time nothing. Listening to the sound of the water, smelling the leaves and looking at reflections in the water, time seemed to stop. He felt everything but nothing. Every sound, smell and sight just flew by. Like it wasn't there. He didn't really recognise their existence. His chest felt tight and body heavy. Was there a point? He slipped his hand back into the cold water and moved closer. Would he ever find someone special? Someone that cared for his demanding and tiring self? He even got sick of himself most of the time, so how could anybody else ever love him?

There was no way that the strong-willed man with a singe of childishness would fall for him. Nor ever care for him. Does he even deserve Dylan? Does he deserve being treated well? With everything he did. As much of his asshole attitude he had… did he deserve being treated with kindness? He felt sick.

Daniel was now looking directly at his own reflection in the river. The water was quite calm by now, as the rain had turned into a drizzle. In his reflection he saw his malnourished, stubbled face. He looked worse than ever. Would anybody even recognize him? His hair got pretty long too. The hair that was falling into his forehead reminded him of a picture he had seen. In the head quarters was a room full of pictures, and one of those had Lionel Shrike on it posing with his son. The very tiny Dylan at the time had had almost the same hairstyle.

A grin crossed his lips as he thought about that. So right now, he looked like Dylan in a way.

Just like Dylan.

Dylan…

Dylan.

Dylan… the man who… found him…

Who used him.

Who recognised him.

Who bewitched him.

Who… saved him.

He got up from the water and stared the distance. Daniel had been so blinded by his self-loathing he had overseen. Dylan did not hate him. He cared for him deeply. There was a family he still had.

The Horsemen!

They cared for him; he was just so too self-despising to realise. He had to let them be part of his life. But what if they hurt him?

…

Then it struck him. He wasn't mad at them nor at himself so much. He was just… afraid. Opening to them meant caring for them. Letting them in. And if they got hurt or if they ever would betray him, he would certainly die inside. That scared him. So, he pushed them away without actually wanting to. Daniel wanted to be part of them. He wanted to be with them. Lula, Jack, hell even Merritt had his charm. In his own way, though. And Dylan… Dylan was especially special. He thought that maybe he could bear to lose Merritt some day but Dylan… The thought of losing Dylan tore him almost apart. "Luckily only a thought…" he paused. Right now, it wasn't just a thought. His Friends weren't here, nor was Dylan. Because he pushed them away.

"I'm an Idiot." He realised that it had been a stupid, over the head decision he had made six days ago. Now he had to correct his mistake.

With both hands he splashed some river water onto his face. The cold felt refreshing and relieve went over him.
*sigh*

With numbness in his legs, Daniel got up slowly. His body was lighter than before, but still heavy.

"DANIEL?!"

Jolting to where this deep manly voice came from, Daniel slipped. "DANNY!" Everything around him went cold and wet for a second. A sharp pain strung up his back as he landed. Before he could gather his thoughts, he was enclosed into a hug. Air leaving his lungs he felt surprisingly hot. Without thinking about it he put his arms around the others waist and nestled his head into the collarbone of this suddenly emerged human being.

Dylan.

„Dylan." He took a deep breath. Inhaling the cologne of the older man.

„Yeah?" – „I'm sorry"

„Can you not be so dramatic please?" – „Oh, come on Merritt. We got him back! We are whole again!" Lula was sobbing into Daniels shirt while trying to put Merritt in place. A smile pulled across the Showmans face returning her hug. Jack jumped in as well and put his arms around Lula and Daniel. A wave of relieve went over him. Kind of uneasy about the attention but happy to be here. With them. "Where have ya been the past few days?" Merritt did not know what else to do right now. It felt awkward to hug the young showman, so he wanted to tease him instead. Like they used to do. But what should have been a cocky question, was actually heartfelt and sounded worried. Geez he felt like a dad hovering over his son, that was out the whole night. "Wandering around" Daniel took him out of his thoughts. "Nothing more really…."

Daniel slightly pushed Lula and Jack away. He now stood with straightened back in front of the others. "I have to apologies to you guys. Not only have I been acting like a prick, I also did not recognise your help."

Everyone but Dylan was surprised at that. They looked at him like they just had seen a ghost. Daniel J. Atlas apologised and meant it. Lula started to bawl again, and Jack tried to calm her. Merritt took a step forward and bumped his fist into Daniels shoulder. "You made us worry. You should be… So… never do it again, ok?" – "Yeah. Thanks."

"Now *sniff* l-let *sniff* lets eat! And celebrate!" – "That's a brilliant Idea, darling. Come on guys!" Jack pushed all of them into the living room. Pulling out his phone, he started asking if everyone was alright with pizza. "Ah, Merritt I need your card." – "Why? You wanted pizza so it's on you" – "But I don't have anything on it!" Daniel just listened. Taking in the scene. Overwhelmed with being back. Being with them. He felt at ease and his body was relaxing. Following their gestures, just to revert his gaze back to his leader. Dylan had the last word and decided to pay this time. He moved his head over to Daniel and smiled softly. This made Daniels heart melt.

That evening they all ate dinner together in the living room. Laughing, drinking, being silly. Daniel was not a bystander and looked the scene go by. He was in the middle of it. Lula tried showing a cards trick Jack had taught her, but it didn't really work out. She made Daniel try it because he was laughing at her. At first, he looked at Jacks hand movements and tried to mimic it. It wouldn't work, what now made Lula laugh at him. He held the cards more comfortable in his hand and tried it like he would have done it. It worked. Merritt and Dylan began laughing as well, trying to tell Lula that that was it what made Danny an amazing magician. Not giving up and making it in his own style. She shouldn't copy, rather take the idea, and make it in her style.

Multiple bottles and a few pizza cartons everywhere, the fun and relaxing evening went to an end. Tired they went to bed. Lula at first wanted them all to sleep in the living room but Merritt and Dylan objected, with the reason their backs weren't so young to survive a night on ground. So they went into their separate rooms. Daniel hesitated laying down into his bed. Nightmares foreshadowing… but he decided to try it anyway. Closing his eyes and attempting to sleep he felt his cheeks glow up. As happily he felt right now, there was one thing his stomach did not like. With his fingers he traced his lips. Recalling the touch, the butterflies in his stomach began anew. Embarrassed over what happened at the Hudson River, he put his hands over his face and rolled over to the other side of his bed.

„You better be." You could hear his voice break at the end.

Both began to shiver, which was the moment for Dylan to grab into water, around the younger ones legs and lift him out of the flowing river. Daniel didn't release his arms nor looked up. Head still pressing onto Dylans collarbone. Not letting go either, Dylan carried the lost showman to the nearest bench and sat down. Crawled up Daniel on his lap, in his arms.

None of them wanted to break the silent. Nor destroy this moment. They took in the warm feeling, and also a bit of a sogginess, of the other. Calming down. Both of them. Heartbeat slowed and the pulse in synch with each other. Daniel felt like sleeping.

Dylan was the first to break the silence. „Please come back to my side." These words made Daniel sat up and look into his favourite coloured eyes. He examined the elders face. Dylan had reddish eyes, messed up hair and giant bags under his eyes. His usual tiny wrinkles on the side of his eyes were giant. His skin seemed to have sagged down, what made him seem even older than normally. Not that Daniel thought Dylan was old but still older than him. But attractive older.

Daniel put a hand on Dylans cheek, brushed over it with his thumb and said: „You look terrible." Both began chuckling and Dylan returned: „You don't look so bad yourself, thanks."

Daniels eyes began to water, and a frown grew. After swallowing hard, he asked in a whisper "Why are you here?" Dylan returned the question "Why are you here?" - "I asked first!" – "And I asked second!" Slightly irritated Daniel answered first. "Just happened… I was getting sick of being pushed around by the crowd, so I left through an alley. Then I just… just walked mindlessly and ended up here." Shrugging he shook his head lightly keeping eye contact. The hand that before was on Dylans cheek had moved down to his neck. Holding himself and the other steady. He bumped against the Agents chest hand with the words "Your turn" and let it rest on the other side if the neck after that. The older Horseman pulled Daniel a little closer, with his hands strong and tight around Daniels waist. "I always get back here to think. The last few days though I came here to search for you. Somehow hoping you would end up here…

In the end, it seems like I was right. You are here. Still can't believe it." Their faces were only inches from each other. "I have you back in my arms", Dylan whispered. Daniel could feel the breath of his beloved person on his lips. Breaking eye contact he looked down on Dylans lips. He held his breath for a second until he inhaled sharply because he was pulled in a deep a loving kiss. His whole body warmed up instantly. Time seemed to have stopped while he felt his heart strongly pushing against his chest. His hands moved on their own now. One pulling on Dylans neck. Closer. Even closer! His stomach was upside down. Something felt like crawling inside of his stomach or maybe it was just turning upside down. His body felt light and heated.
The other hand got into Dylans hair. Slightly pulling on the hair strings it got hold of. Dylan pressed harder against Daniels lips. Lips parting slightly allowing him to slip his tongue inside. Their teeth clashed at first, what made Dylan change position without breaking away even a second. Daniel was now on his lap, legs spread along Dylans side.

Slightly shifting his weight made Dylan groan softly into their tight moving lips. Dylan took a chance and bit into Daniels lower lip. A shiver went up the showman's spine, and he let out a moan. Dizziness got the better of him and he did not have any strength left. Daniel let himself fall into a tight embrace. His head, resting on the former Agents chest. Regretting losing the warmth on his lips.

"That's something that was long due." Heavily breathing Dylan said resting his head on top the younger ones. Daniel began chuckling, face glowing from heat, heart pounding against Dylans chest and his pals were sweaty. He couldn't tell about his body, cause they were still soaked from the river water.

"I guess we have a lot to talk about." – "Yeah, we do. But before that we should head home. The others are worried sick for you. And we gotta take a shower. I feel muddy and wet." "Well I appreciate the latter one." Smirking into Dylans chest, he waited for a reaction. "Calm your thoughts young one. This stage comes after the first date we have to have first."

Jolting up the younger one repeated "Date." Letting it sink in, Dylan began smiling. He pressed a quick kiss on Daniels lips and pulled them both up from the bench. "Let's go home! We can talk about everything in a cosier setting."

Holding in for a moment he stood in front of Daniel and got serious. "And Daniel… please, no lies this time. I want to know everything. And I mean everything." Putting a hand on Daniels cheek he awaited the answer. Danny only nodded silently. Knowing this had to be.

Taking Daniels hand into his, he led them along the river back home.

Home.

Home, where the other Horsemen where impatiently waiting for Daniels return.

Home, where Daniel felt safe.

Home, where Dylan would always be with him.

Daniel looked up. The sun was rising and enlightened Dylans back. It looked like the Agent had grown wings. Like an Angel. His Angel.

With a smile on his face and light-hearted, they walked home.

Together.

~ End of chapter six