Harry traced the edge of Hagrid's house, hoping to slip into the class unnoticed. His heart was pounding like a sledgehammer in his chest. Would he ever be able to accept what had just happened with Professor Snape as reality?
"Where have you been?" Hermione hissed as Harry slid in behind Ron. Harry visibly grimaced, slightly annoyed that his friend had drawn unwanted attention to his tardiness.
"Sorry, I'll tell you later." Harry mouthed, his voice barely above a whisper as he tried to think of a believable lie to feed to his friend. His eyes searched the herd of classmates, searching desperately for Draco, hoping beyond measure that for some reason or another he wasn't there.
He spotted Crabbe, then Goyle. He winced as his eyes wandered a little further to the right.
There he was. A large grin adorning his smug lips as though he had been waiting for Harry to finally spot him.
Damn it.
"Split into pairs and grab a Bowtruckle from the crate." Hagrid nodded, though it seemed to be more to himself than the class as his large signature grin rested on his lips.
The class divided itself as whisperings quickly gave way to loud chatterings.
"So, Potter." Malfoy spat as he strode through muddy grass towards the darkhaired wizard, Crabbe at one side and Goyle at the other.
Harry's heart pounded, this was the moment he had been dreading.
"What were you doing in Severus's store cupboard with him?" The smirk on Draco's lips seemed to grow as Crabbe and Goyle erupted into fits of hysterical laughter.
Damn you Malfoy.
And Severus?
Since when had Draco been on a on a first name basis with Snape?
Harry clenched his teeth as he felt Hermione's and Ron's gaze upon him. He didn't need to look at either of them to know their eyes would be filled with confusion.
"Making out?" Draco suggested at the lack of response from the Gryffindor.
Fuck.
Harry grimaced, though he did his best not to let it show.
Did he know?
Was he standing outside the door that entire time?
How much would he have heard?
Or was he simply just provoking him?
It had to be that.
Or so Harry told himself because anything other than that would be too horrible to face. The whole school finding out about him and Snape. It was bad enough that they all looked at him as though he had killed Cedric himself and made up some cock and bull story about the Voldemort and the Death Eaters.
"Why do you care?" Harry spat before turning on his heel, not waiting for, nor desiring an answer.
His heart was racing now more than ever as he stormed away from the blonde 'pure blood'. He hoped beyond hope that Malfoy would not pursue him.
"Harry?" Ron raised an eyebrow as he finally caught up to his friend.
"It's just Malfoy making trouble." Harry sighed, trying to make his voice sound as casual as his body would allow. At least the truth sounded stranger than fiction and would not be believed by anyone unless they had witnessed it with their own eyes.
"What did Snape want with you?" Hermione butted in, not bothering to disguise the concern in her eyes.
"It was nothing, he just wanted to give me something."
Damn it, he'd had all this time to come up with a remotely believable story but he still had nothing.
"Give you something?" Ron screwed up his face as though he'd just heard the most unbelievable tale.
"Since when has Snape been nice to you?"
"By giving me something I meant he gave me a bollocking." Harry corrected, feeding his friends the only believable lie he could come up with.
"Oh right." Ron nodded as though finally understanding his friend again.
"About what?" Hermione persisted, her mind seeming to race through everything they had done of late to figure out what may have caused her best friend to get into trouble.
Great.
He should have expected this.
"He heard me mutter something about Malfoy's father being a Death Eater."
"Oh right." Ron nodded but Hermione still didn't seem convinced.
He had bought time, but for how long?
*~.~*
Harry laid back in his bed, soft rain tapped gently against the ornate glass window of Gryffindor tower. Its gentle melody was interrupted every few seconds by one of Neville's thunderous snores.
He closed his eyes, suspecting he was the only one still awake. He focused on the rain in a vein attempt to stop his mind from wondering.
But of course it was no use.
This used to be the time of night he looked forward to, the momentary escape from his uncle, Dudley and all the endless school yard bullies that all seemed to be 'friends' with his cousin.
It used to be the promise of a time when he could escape into another world, one that was entire his own.
Only now it offered him nothing more than hopeless despair.
His attempts at falling asleep were marred by the seemingly permanent imprint of Cedric's lifeless face lodged in his memory.
When sleep finally did pay him a visit, shadows in the form of Death Eater's invaded his nightmare's, robbing him of any chance of a peaceful sleep. Voldemort clawed at him like a piece of meat, tearing his soul to pieces while his legacy in the form of Tom Riddle mocked his pathetic existence. Tom Riddle told him he was only safe as long as Dumbledore was around. He told him that he was a weak pathetic coward who deserved anything but the title of being the chosen one.
The graveyard had been too close, it was a mixture of his parents and pure luck that allowed him to escape and nothing more. His escape was attributed to their efforts and had nothing to do with his skill, but how long could he rely on the help of others?
He really was useless, wasn't he?
A tightness clawed at his chest, strangling him, choking him as tears began to well in his eyes.
What was wrong with him?
The only thing worse that Voldemort telling him how useless he was, was him believing the Dark Lord may be right.
No.
There was no 'may' about it.
He was right.
Harry finally sat up.
This was no use.
It seemed tonight would be yet another sleepless night. He sighed as he rose to his feet. He wished he had another chunk of that root Snape had given him to calm his mind.
Perhaps he ought to find out if Snape was still awake.