A plume of smoke erupted from the cauldron, bursting into a magnificent cloud of lilac mist that hung suspended in the airーsuch a beautiful color for something that could smell so fetid. Lily coughed as she inhaled a gulp of air redolent of rotten-egg and she could practically feel her hair losing its weight as it rose off her shoulders, sucking in the humidity.

Lily rose from her seated position in the corner of the dining room, slowly untangling her criss-crossed legs and pushing herself to her feet with one hand braced on the corner of the long table behind her. One hand waved at the air in front of her nose and she walked through the open doorway into the living room, eager to escape the foul odor. There, she flopped onto their worn settee and blew on a piece of stray hair that stubbornly fell right back in front of her eye.

"That smells delightful," Remus droned from his perch on the couch.

"Doesn't it? It's what I'd imagine Petunia's new house smells like if she'd ever invite me over to visit," Lily responded with a scowl.

Remus tactfully said nothing. They all knew that Lily's vain hopes for a miraculous reconciliation with her sister had better odds of becoming reality than Sirius moving back in with his dear mum. And Lily knew it too. Though she just couldn't help herself from clinging to that last shred of hope.

Lily pulled her frizzy hair into a ponytail at the nape of her neck and finally took a good look at her friend. Remus was as pale as ever after the full moon, his scars shining brightly against waxen skin and dark bags hanging from under his eyes. Every movement seemed like it caused him pain, and though he bit back the agony with well-practiced ease, she could still see through his facade.

"Do you want some healing potion?" she asked.

Remus gave a hollow laugh. "No, I shouldn't have anymore. I already took some this morning."

"Some tea then?"

"I should be the one getting you tea, Lily. Not the other way around," he chided with a tired smile.

She cocked an eyebrow. "And why is that?"

"You're six months pregnant! You shouldn't be on your feet so much."

"And what would you know about being pregnant, Remus?" she retorted with crossed arms, instantly rising to her feet just to prove her point.

Remus sighed. He should know better than to tell Lily Evans-scratch that, Potter-what she should and should not do.

"Besides, you're less than twenty-four hours after turning into a werewolf for Merlin's sake. And contrary to what all of the Order seems to think, I am not completely incompetant." With that, she stalked off towards the kitchen, her stomach protruding from under her magically enlarged t-shirt stolen from James' closet. She returned a few minutes later with a kettle and two porcelain mugs floating in front of her.

"Here," was all she said as she directed one cup to float in front of Remus's face and the kettle tipped forward to spout water in a graceful arc. When the kettle floated lazily towards Lily's mug, Remus grasped his by the handle and blew carefully into it, his eyes never leaving Lily's flushed face and darkened brows.

Eventually, he leaned forward and set the mug onto the low coffee table, leaving his hands free to fall into his lap, his fingers barely interlaced to form a tent. He gazed at Lily, watching her bright green eyes dart around the room, searching for something other than him to settle on.

"What," she finally demanded.

"Are we not going to talk about that?" Remus asked with his patient, all-knowing smile.

"Talk about what?"

"Oh come on, Lily. You know exactly what I mean."

She huffed and her eyes finally settled onto the mug of tea clasped between her hands. "Fine. Talk all you want."

"Okay. I will. Do you really think that all of the Order thinks of you as incompetant?"

Lily set down her mug and twirled her wedding band around her finger before she responded sullenly. "No, I suppose not."

Remus nodded, verifying the point, but Lily pressed on.

"But I feel useless, Remus! I can still go out and fight, but all Dumbeldore wants me to do is stay home and stay safe. This is a war. We have no use keeping anyone willing to fight at home, not right now." She finally met Remus's gaze and she hated the way the corners of her eyes were prickling, threatening to let loose a stream of salty tears.

"Lily-," Remus began in that soft voice of his.

"Don't 'Lily' me!" she cried, instantly jumping to her feet. "Don't tell me I'm just being foolish, or the hormones are getting the best of me, or that I'm some kind of delicate flower in need of protection."

The corners of Remus's mouth quirked up. "Did James really say that to you?"

Lily let her hands uncurl from the fists she didn't realize she had made and she started to feel the sting of her nails cutting half-moons into her palms. "Just the last one. The other two were coined by none other than one Sirius Black," she admitted with a guilty smile.

"Ah yes. Sirius Black, all things feelings and female expert."

Lily chortled and sank back into her seat, sitting as close to the arm as possible as if wanting to become part of the cushion.

Remus smiled patiently. "And I wasn't going to say anything of the sort. I was going to say that no, you can't go out and fight right now. You're pregnant. That's just a fact. Like it or not, you're not as inexhaustible as you usually are. Your reflexes may be slower, you're definitely less mobile, and you'd be a danger to others too, including James."

"What do you mean?"

"Think about it," he urged. "Right now, Sirius and James are off on a mission, right? James is fighting for his life, but also for the chance to come home to you and your child. But if you were there, fighting at his side, he would be so worried about keeping the two of you safe that he'd actually be more in danger."

Lily blinked slowly, then heaved out a pent-up breath, knowing that Remus was right but willing it not to be so. It was much easier to fill her heart with anger than worry which ached at her very core every minute that James was away.

"I suppose so," she conceded with a hanging head.

"James doesn't really think you're… what was it? A fragile flower?"

Something tugged at the corner of Lily's lip. "Something like that."

"Right. Well, he knows you're not a fragile flower, but that doesn't stop his protective urge and try not to take it personally, he has that urge for everyone. He would stand up to Voldy himself with just a wand in hand if it meant saving a single innocent life, let alone what he'd do for you or your child."

Lily blushed a deep scarlet that clashed spectacularly with her hair. "I suppose he's a Gryffindor for a reason."

"And don't pretend you wouldn't do the same," Remus added in a soft voice.

The two friends fell silent, each wandering through their own thoughts, taking tentative sips from their scalding teas.

Lily set her tea back onto the coffee table, harsher than intended so that a little slopped over the edge. But she didn't notice. Instead, she flung her hands up in exasperation. "But I still feel so helpless, Remus! I can't just sit here for another three months doing nothing!"

"Longer than three months. You'll have to recover after labor."

She groaned. "Not helpful."

He laughed and leaned forward, balancing his tea on a knee with one hand. "Okay, okay. You're not being useless though. You're providing basically the entire Order with all of their potion needs. You're helping everyone with all of their missions."

"But I used to brew potions and go on missions," she insisted.

"True. But you also used to get far less than the recommended hours of sleep."

She snorted. "Now I get far more than the recommended hours of sleep."

"Don't you dare complain about getting too much sleep, Lily," Remus warned, waving a long finger and a genuine laugh lighting his face.

"Please, I barely sleep anyways with all the lovely dreams I have."

The laughter died in Remus's throat. "Don't we all," he muttered darkly.

She took in a breath then sat up, her back as straight as a rod. "Well enough about me and my self-wallowing. What about you? How've you been?"

"Other than the whole werewolf thing?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Other than that," she said with a wave of her hand.

He sighed. "Fine enough, I suppose."

"I don't believe it. Not for a second."

Remus raised a quizzical eyebrow at her.

"I can read you just as well as you can read me, Remus Lupin. You came in here with something on your mind and instead, we've just talked about me. Let it out," she ordered with her chin in the sky and eyebrows raised expectantly.

He ran an exhausted hand over his unshaved chin, feeling the sharp stubble run against his hand. "Similar to you, really. Might get deja vu if I do let it out, as you so kindly demanded."

"I'm all for reliving the past."

Remus smiled and slurped his tea, letting the words form on his tongues before he spoke. "Inaptitude, incompetence, ineffective. Take your pick. It's all the same to me."

"Why would you of all people feel useless?" Lily asked, genuine bewilderment clouding her expression.

He sighed and cast his eyes to the floor again. "Don't worry about it. It's not a big de-"

"I'm having none of that. Just get it over with and tell me. You know I won't judge you."

A nostalgic smile crept onto his face as he admitted that that was always the case with Lily Ev-Potter. She was incapable of hasty judgements and loved each friend whole-heartedly, flaws and all. "Well… I'm a werewolf," he finally said, as if that explained it.

"I've noticed," she said with an eye roll.

"I'm out of commission for days on end every month. Plus, I'm usually not even fighting! I'm off living with other werewolves," he spat, the disgust evident on his face.

Lily forced herself to her feet, belly first, and made her way to Remus's side on the sofa. The cushions sunk under her and she placed a gentle hand on his knee. "You can't help being a werewolf any more than I can help being pregnant. But your jobs are so important for the Order and just as dangerous as actual fighting, if not more so! If the little toddler Remus Lupin knew that you were going to be a spy for a secret organization trying to save the country, infiltrating underground lairs and gathering intel, would he have believed it?"

Remus let out a snort. "You make it sound a lot cooler than reality."

The color drained from his face and he turned to Lily, casting baleful eyes on her. "You didn't tell anyone else about what I do when I'm not around, right? Dumbledore warned me not to tell anyone."

"I know, I know. Of course I haven't told anyone. But we'd all go crazy if we had no one to confide in, don't you think?" Lily wrapped an arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze.

"Very true. What would I do without my invalid friend?"

"We can mourn being useless lumps of soldiers together," she laughed, the typical light back and dancing in her eyes.

Remus joined in her laugh, but like all good things, it ended too soon and the room was once again filled with silence. Lily rested her cheek against his shoulder, burrowing into his cardigan, and he let his head fall against her hair, staring blankly at the wall.

"When do you think James, Sirius, and Peter will be back?" he asked into the quiet.

"Not sure, but I'm starving."

"You're always starving," he grinned.

"I'm always pregnant. It's a side effect."

"Well I don't really feel like cooking."

"Me either," Lily moaned. "Laugh all you want, but my feet are actually killing me."

Remus did laugh and Lily joined in for a splendid moment.

"We probably shouldn't bother Molly for food again, huh," said Remus.

"No, once a week is enough. She has plenty of mouths to feed without us."

"Plus she's pregnant herself."

"True. Though I think she's been pregnant more often than not these past few years," Lily commented.

Remus sighed. "Take-out?"

Lily smiled and carefully lifted her head off of Remus's shoulder. "You took the words right out of my mouth."

"But I'm picking it up," Remus demanded, rising from his seat and stretching his back. "As stubborn as you may be, you are not apparating unless absolutely necessary."

Lily rose to her feet with a sharp breath of strained effort, her eyes rolling dramatically, but she didn't bother arguing the point. "Fine by me. Maybe I'll just embrace this whole invalid thing. Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Enjoy it now before you have a screaming baby to wake you up."

"The good news is we have three built-in babysitters," she said, slapping him on the shoulder with a good-natured grin. She grabbed their two mugs from the table and headed for the kitchen, Remus following behind with the kettle.

"Let's get Indian food!" she decided over her shoulder.

Remus smiled. "Is James paying?"

"Obviously."