Laying in her rack Kate sighed It had been a long day, made even longer with everything that had happened. Everything playing over and over. Wondering if there was anything she could have done differently that would have changed the outcome.

The day had started off fine, nothing out of the ordinary, then after responding to a mayday of a vessel reporting a pirate attack. Things went south very quickly. The Pirates were nothing more than a scared family of immigrants trying to get to Australia for a better life but their boat was barely seaworthy. After getting the family on the boat deck both Chefo and Jaffah went down with a mystery pain attacking their arms.

Standing in the junior's cabin Looking at Jaffah lay in his rack, the morphine knocked him clean out but it was needed as it was the only drug, they carried that would stop the pain. She felt helpless when Spider asked her if Jaffah was going to be okay It was the one thing she couldn't answer.

The Drama didn't stop there and was made worse as the little daughter of the family they had brought on board vanished of the boat deck. They had to turn around and retrace their course in case she went overboard. She was found thankfully, hiding in a cupboard in the galley. Sadly, though in the search Jaffah had died in his rack. the only grace was Cheffo looked like he would pull through, he woke from the coma the Irukandji syndrome put him and the first thing he was worried about was who was burning scran in his galley

Rolling on to her back she staired at Nav's rack above her. Nav was on middle watch so she was all alone in her cabin. Normally she liked that but for some reason the silence that came with being alone was deafening. Sighing she slipped from her rack pulling her boots back on, pulling the laces up tight she tucked them in the side not really bothering to do them up as she was only heading to the galley.

Walking through the ship it was so quiet, a silence she hadn't heard before. The only sound was the low rumble of the engines below as Hammersley skimmed through the waves. Entering the galley, she quietly pulled a cup from the side making herself a cup of tea, she would have preferred coffee but knew if she had a coffee at this hour then she defiantly wouldn't be sleeping. She could see the light was still on in Mike's cabin. Grabbing a second cup she made a second brew.

Carrying the two cups across the passageway she used her foot to gently knock on the open door.

"X?" Mike said turning to look at her

"I thought you might like a brew" she smiled holding out the cup she had made for him

"thanks" he smiled dropping the pen he had been holding on to his desk. "Anyway, what you doing up at this ungodly" he smiled

"couldn't sleep" she smiled "not after everything"

"yeah" he sighed "same I am just trying to write this letter to Jaffah's parents but I have no idea on what I can say. If there is anything that I can say that will make things easier" he sighed sipping the drink Kate had just handed him. "i just wish I knew more about him. He slipped under my radar"

"You can't know everything about everyone even on a small ship" she smiled softly

"i always try to know my crew especially as we are so small and so close everyday" he looked up at her

"i am sure you will come up with something" she said "Just tell the truth and say it from the heart. There is nothing you can say that will lessen their grief but it may be of some comfort." She smiled softly,

"Thanks X" he smiled

"I best get back to my Rack" she smiled

"Goodnight Kate" Mike smiled

"Goodnight Sir" she said walking back down to her cabin.

Placing her cup on the side of the desk she carefully pulled her boots back off, sliding under the blanket she sighed. Her own words going over in her head about not knowing everyone. On a Frigate it was easy, the officers kept to themselves and the same with the juniors. On Hammersley even in just a few short months she had been taught the value of at least knowing a little about those who you are serving alongside. It also stung as although they all knew what they were signing up for and the possibility of them facing their mortality in the services was very real dying at the hands of a jellyfish in home waters was not something she had ever thought possible.

Arriving home later the following afternoon, it had been a hard day, after arriving in port and heading the family over to immigration so they could be processed and a decision could be made whether they met the asylum criteria or whether they should be sent home,

Dumping her hat on the side and her bag under the table she headed straight to the kitchen pulling out a bottle of wine. Hearing a knock at the door she placed the bottle on the side walking over she pulled it open.

Seeing Mike stood at the door she half smiled

"Sir..." she paused "Mike" she corrected herself remembering what he had said about being on First name terms on shore, "what are you doing here?" she asked

"i just wanted to make sure you were okay you left in a bit of a hurry" he smiled

"i just couldn't face it really. I feel bad he was just a kid really"

"i know" Mike paused reaching in his jacket pocket. "i managed to finish that letter, I wanted you tot read it before I sent it" he smiled handing it to her

"i am sure it will be fine Sir" she said holding back

"Read it please" he said softly

Nodding softly, she took the creamy white envelope from his hands reading the letter he had penned. Scanning the few short lines, he had written, she smiled. She had no idea that he was a fan of Star Wars. She wished she the chance to know more

"its good" she smiled placing the letter back in to the envelope "i am sure Jaffah's family will appreciate the sentiment" she said passing it him back.

"thank you X your words last night really helped" he smiled. "i guess I will see you back on board in a few days" he smiled

"i guess so" she said the pause between them suddenly feeling so much more awkward

"have a good shore leave" he said walking back towards the door

"and you" she half smiled as he made his way out"

Pushing the door shut behind him she rested her head against the closed door. The next 5 months couldn't come quick enough, it was horrible and it was getting more and more painful as the days went by. Her heart and her mind having a constant battle of trying to or not to love him

so hope you like this. i decided to skip eps 2 and 3 as i always write stuff with those. anyway i also wanted to show a little of what Kate might be feeling as you can see she is moved when Spider is asking her if jaffah is going to be okay and then equally on the bridge after jaffah has died and not knowing how old he was. anyway hope you like and let me know what you think x