I thought, that I had known hell ...

That I had felt his flames burning in every inch of my skin. That I had known the demons that inhabit the interior of people, prepared to bite. That I had been tortured under the yoke of my own sister. Not...

I still didn't know what the word hell meant.

Professor Snape slapped his table with the palms of his hands, then quickly got up from his chair and walked the few meters that separated us in a few seconds. At that I had been petrified, my muscles had been tense with fear and my hands were sweating in my clenched fists. Snape's gaze was indescribable, but from the violence of his act I knew I had made a mistake in asking. This time I had crossed the line. He grabbed me by both arms with great force, shaking me violently from front to back. I had really angered him because I had never seen him in that state.

―Do you have any idea what you're saying, Rosenberg ?! ―I could almost hear him grinding his teeth while he said it, because he kept his mouth tightly closed ―Who has told you such a thing? I want to know all the names immediately!

―Professor Snape enough! You are hurting me, sir! I don't know who says it, I only know that it is said in Slytherin that you were one, sir!

He stopped moving and released me, of course, I couldn't help getting dizzy. I fell on the door until I slipped and fell to the ground. He had no right to treat me like this, what did he think I was? A doll to mistreat? But I had to restrain myself if I wanted him to help me in any way. I was very dizzy, I didn't trust myself to get up off the ground, my head was spinning. Snape remained standing with his back to me. I don't know when that scum of a man had turned around. He didn't even look to see if I was okay. I suppose he was also trying to control his fury and not kill me right there as an insolent traitor according to what he said.

―You were, sir? ―I had to keep trying ...

―Miss Rosenberg, if you open your mouth again you will be expelled from Hogwarts.

Damn he wasn't telling me. I had to know, I had to ask, I had to save Izzie, sister ... At what point did you let go of my hand? With one hand on the door and the other on the cold floor, I was able to stand up and look at the black robe of my potions teacher.

I did not know if I should pronounce a sentence. Actually, I didn't know what to do, because he kept his back to me, he was still quiet and thoughtful. What was he thinking? Every second that passed made me hours, I was standing there like an idiot doing nothing but looking at him. I couldn't take it anymore and I was reckless ...

―Please Professor Snape. You have to help me, sir! ―I said, letting go of all my despair.

He turned at my plea, but his eyes were still cold and stern, his brow furrowing to the point that his eyebrows were almost touching. I was afraid, now I knew about his character and maybe he would become violent with me.

―I have no reason to help you in anything, especially now that you are going to be expelled, Miss Rosenberg.

He turned around and ran to his desk to draft my expulsion. Fact, I had earned expulsion from Hogwarts. What my sister hadn't achieved in years, I had done to myself trying to help her. But this could not end here, I was very close to achieving it, I could not give up now.

I walked over to his table until I fell to my knees before his desk and his inquisitive gaze. I could no longer hold back my tears, I was going to lose everything because of my foolish sister. I felt the small tears fall on my flushed cheeks quickly. I couldn't find my voice, it had disappeared from my throat, I was trembling with fear, I didn't know how to get out of it ... With a little effort I found the courage within me, and I spoke with the little and weak voice that remained. I looked like a hurt dog.

―Professor Snape, my sister Isobel intends to join the Death Eaters once this course is finished. I fear for her life because I know they will kill her or do something much worse to her ... That's why I asked you, sir. I am sure that you were a Death Eater sir, and therefore can help my sister to deviate from that path.

―I repeat, Miss Rosenberg, that I have nothing to do with her problems. Are you not a courageous and imposing Gryffindor? You alone are enough to hinder your destiny, you don't need anyone, Miss Rosenberg.

His sarcasm hardly hurt me in this situation, but I found no comfort and my tears were pouring out of my eyes uncontrollably. That man had no mercy of anyone. He felt no compassion when he saw me on my knees desperately asking for his help. I was going to lose everything. I had humiliated myself before Snape for nothing ... I had proved that I was a weak girl, when I had always appeared to be strong, but I was weak ...

―Please sir, I'll do whatever it takes! There must be something I can do for you sir in exchange for what I ask ―I didn't know what else to say to him, at any moment he would kick me out of his office and the next day I would be out of Hogwarts.

―I do not want anything from you, Miss Rosenberg, get out of my office.

I stood up, ready to get out of there. I had failed but I would try one last time. I couldn't lose anything else.

―I will do whatever, no matter how hard or disgusting it may be, whatever you ask me, Professor Snape.

He put down the scroll to look directly at me without reservation. He bent his elbows on the table, interlocked his fingers, and lightly rested his chin on them. At last I was relieved, he had taken an interest, or so it seemed to me.

―So, anything ...

―Yes, whatever you want, sir. I promise not to say anything to anyone and not complain whatever it is.

I have to say that he was thinking about it, of course because I was putting it on a silver platter myself. I don't think he's going to regret paying attention to me now. He got up from his chair, walked around his table and he was a few steps from me. But he moved a little closer until his pale hand reached for one of the strands of my brown hair. Maybe he was thinking of asking me to cut my hair, oh no! He wanted to make me bald! I hope not, because I could not bear it, that would be humiliating. Now he was so close to me that I could hear him breathe, even felt the warmth of his body.

―W-What? Why are you sir touching my ...? ― He didn't let me finish.

―Miss Rosenberg, you are a virgin. Certain?

―How do you say, sir?

I went blank, that took me by surprise. However it was a very rude question, of course I could not expect anything good from him. He released my lock of hair and stood behind me, so silent was he that I hardly noticed.

―Just answer the question Miss Rosenberg and remember that you have promised to do whatever it takes without replying.

In that he was right, I had said it. I swallowed my pride as best I could and responded sincerely but at the same time fearful, because I still did not know his intentions with me.

―I am.

―Well, in exchange for helping your sister not to end up dead at the hands of the Death Eaters, I want you to give me your virginity Rosenberg.

Can not be. I must have heard wrong. No, I had heard perfectly what that man wanted from me, who now was not only despicable but also a miserable pervert. But of course man is like that, all men are animals and have that "need". What was not so clear to me is whether I would accept that that scoundrel would touch me, even touch me. Now I could only feel disgust, neither fear nor contempt, only disgust. How old would he be? Thirty? thirty-one? And I was just a kid, you fucking perverted bastard ...

But, I had no other choice, if I rejected him he would expel me immediately, and my sister would die. Izzie wouldn't even remotely listen to me, and Snape had been a Death Eater. Anyway my soul was rotten, I had done things that I preferred to forget. I loved my sister more than myself. To sully my body for her would be a consolation, because it would be worth to save her life …

―And?

He was behind me impatient for the answer I would give, I felt his breath in my ear. I have no choice, I must.

―Done.

And I who thought I had known hell, how naive ...

Now real hell would begin for me.