Howard poked around the dock, staring at the lake water. The sun was going down, but he didn't much feel like going home. He knew Astrid would be there.

Business was good, he mused. That was alright. That was fine. He'd have to haul himself all the way to Coates Academy soon if he wanted to have enough cabka to last the rest of the month—some stoner kids had decided they wanted to be regular drinkers after he'd told them he'd run out of weed—but that was okay, too. Mostly. He didn't want Orc to be alone too often, not when Astrid made the habit of showing up constantly. It was annoying being in the trailer with them, but at least then he didn't have to deal with the ambiguity of not knowing what was happening on that stupid air mattress.

Howard stripped off his shirt and pants and hid them underneath the dock before wading into the silty shallows of the lake. The freezing water, its temperature amplified by the deepening twilight, made him shiver. Still, he trudged on until he got deep enough to dive, the water enveloping his head. He began to dog paddle, lifting his arms over his head and slicing through the murky water, accompanied only by the sound of his own harsh panting.

Before the FAYZ, Howard swam at the public pool occasionally. When he started hanging out with Orc, that mostly stopped, for no real reason he could think of. Now, swimming was the only thing he could really think to pass the time after doing his rounds. He wasn't going to partake in his own stash, obviously, and he didn't want to hang out with any of the druggies that inevitably tried to cling to him in hopes of getting special privileges. Orc was the only person he really wanted to be around—but, of course, he was busy learning his precious Bible.

Howard came up for air, chest heaving. He'd circled around and was now paddling toward Sam's houseboat, gentle waves lapping at his chin as he swam. There were rumors around the FAYZ that Astrid had moved out. He wondered if it was true as he looked up, dripping, at the boat's darkened windows. He wouldn't be surprised.

Why wonder? he thought bitterly. He could just mosey on home and ask her himself. Howard shook his head, dove into the lake, and swam toward shore. He walked home, lake water seeping through his clothes in patches, as the sky grew dark. He pulled open the trailer door just as the moon was rising high in the sky.

Howard brought a lighter out of his pants' pocket and flicked it open, squinting at his darkened surroundings. He'd made his way to the kitchen table before he stopped, his heart giving a jolt of fear. He heard something—someone—moving. "Orc?" he called. "That you?" He gripped his lighter tight. It didn't sound like him.

He moved deeper into the trailer until he reached Orc's mattress. It was illuminated by a pale shaft of moonlight. Howard, stony, lowered his lighter. Of course.

He saw how Astrid's tall, slim figure splayed awkwardly around Orc's bigger, bulkier frame. Her arm was wrapped around his, her head nestled into his thick stone neck. She looked placid, peaceful, pale skin glowing in the moonlight.

Howard's skin crawled; his heart clenched. He dropped to his knees and shook her shoulder until Astrid's eyes opened. "Hey," he hissed. "Hey."

Her eyes widened and she bolted up, slipping her arm out of Orc's. "Howard."

"Yeah," he snapped. "It's me."

"It's not—this isn't—"

Orc stirred, and both of them stiffened. "Leave," Howard hissed, and she glared at him, setting her jaw. "Leave," he repeated, and seethed in silence as she leaned over Orc's sleeping body. She touched the skin on his cheek with her forefinger in a sort of goodbye—but her icy eyes stayed on Howard. Then, she stood up, back rigid, and left. He waited until her hushed footfalls fell away before turning back to the mattress and seeing that Orc's eyes were open and looking at him.

"Hey," he mumbled sleepily.

"Hey." Howard tried not to sound as bitter as he felt. "Sorry your girlfriend left."

"Shut up." His eyes closed again. He didn't sound angry.

Howard tried again. "What'd you do, make out or something? That doesn't sound very Christian—since she has a boyfriend and all."

"Shut the hell up, Howard." There was more of an edge in Orc's voice, his good eye peering at him with a bleary irritation.

That was good. Howard opened his mouth to say something else, but then Orc turned on his side with a sudden shifting of gravel, ending the conversation. Howard bit his tongue and silently crawled into his nearby bunk. The night was cool and his skin was still damp from the lake.

If I'd been here, Astrid wouldn't have tried anything, he thought. Neither of them would. His stomach churned as he stared at the ceiling. It had never made sense, Orc's feelings for Astrid, but at least before she'd been wholly unattainable. Now what? It just didn't make any sense. And what about Sam? Howard couldn't tell him what he'd seen, of course...whatever it was. He couldn't do that to Orc. Not only was it a pretty shitty thing to do, it would also probably entitle him to a beating or something.

Howard rolled over, restless. The curiosity he felt made it difficult to sleep. What had they done together? Had they kissed? Made out? It was hard to think about a girl as uptight as Astrid making out with anyone, but she'd done it with Sam, probably. Right? Surely she and Orc hadn't slept together. Howard winced at the ceiling. No, he couldn't even think about that; the very notion made him queasy.

This whole thing was crazy, Howard reminded himself. Astrid was with Sam. They belonged together. Sam had to be told. It was his duty as a good citizen or whatever. Sam might not be the leader of the FAYZ anymore, but he still had power and influence.

Besides, he thought, running a hand through his hair as he approached the entrance to Sam's houseboat the next morning, it would be good for Orc in the long run. He didn't deserve to be manipulated like that. Astrid didn't care about him—not like he did.

Sam opened the door. His eyes narrowed when he saw who it was. "What are you doing here, Howard?"

"Nothing much." Howard stuck his hands in his pockets, casual. "I just thought you might be interested in what Astrid's been doing lately." He paused, as if something had just occurred to him. "So, are you guys broken up, or—"

"That's none of your business." Sam's voice was curt, his eyes flinty. "And you don't have to tell me. I know she's been helping Orc."

"There's more. She's been…." Howard trailed off, feeling hot and foolish. He wasn't used to being unprepared like this. "I saw something happen. Between Astrid and him."

Sam blinked. "Between Astrid and Orc?"

"Yeah. They were lying together on his bed."

He gave a sharp barking laugh. Howard's face began to heat up. "I know it sounds crazy, but hold on—"

"Howard, why the hell would Astrid be—"

"I don't know!"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't," Howard lied. "I thought you would." He felt stupid, off his game. This had been a mistake, he knew.

"Okay," Sam said. He frowned, thinking, then added, "Well, thanks, I guess."

Howard left a few minutes after that, fuming with embarrassment. Of course Sam wouldn't care. Astrid technically hadn't done anything. When he arrived home, he saw that Orc was sleeping. That was the only time he looked really peaceful, when he was asleep.

It was hard to be angry when Howard saw his face all relaxed like that. It reminded him a little of when Orc used to sleep over. He did that sometimes when his parents were fighting really bad. They'd both sleep on the floor of Howard's bedroom, watching something stupid on the crappy little TV he'd begged his parents for when he was ten. They wouldn't even use sleeping bags, just a bunch of blankets and pillows. They wouldn't talk or anything—they'd just watch TV until they dozed off. Sometimes they'd kinda share a blanket, on account of it being warmer close together, and it's not like either of them really cared about, you know, the implications, because it wasn't like anyone was looking, anyway. At least, that's what Howard thought.

He wasn't sure what Orc thought about them sharing a blanket, because he'd just kind of stare at the TV with his eyes glazed and his mouth half-open. Howard always wondered if he'd notice if he moved his leg or arm just a bit closer. Out of curiosity's sake.

When Orc was drunk, he didn't care. He'd get angry and then he'd get weepy and then sometimes Howard would comfort him and he'd cling to him. It'd be funny, almost, with Orc being so big and tough and made of rock and Howard being so skinny and small in comparison, but it wasn't. It was scary and depressing, but also kind of a relief—a horrible, perverse relief—because Howard could wipe away his tears and touch the skin on his cheek without worrying about Orc finding out anything.

But he'd probably be ecstatic if Astrid comforted him while he was having a drunken crying jag, Howard thought, stewing in bitterness. He'd let her touch him and do all sorts of affectionate crap, because Astrid was a girl. Even though she was arrogant and supercilious and probably at the end of the day thought Orc was dumb as the rocks he was covered in.

It never failed to make Howard seethe, these thoughts, but he couldn't stop having them. They were liable to drive him nuts, but they kept banging around in his brain, fervent and buzzing.

He should get going, he told himself. He should grab his stash and start making his rounds. Just to have something to do.

Instead, Howard crawled back into his bunk.

They'd been sitting in her bedroom, Sam's leg touching her blanket-covered knee, when Diana leaned over and kissed him. It was a light kiss, a platonic kiss, she reasoned later. The type of dry, papery kiss you'd give a grandmother. She kissed him below the eye, on his cheekbone, and when she pulled away and saw the look of shock on his face, she swallowed, looked away, and said, "Sorry."

"Wh—"

"It was an accident." Her face burned.

"No, I mean—Diana, you know I'm with Astrid." Sam's face was red. He looked thoroughly ashamed despite not doing anything wrong. Diana found that frustrating. He held his whole body stiffly, like he didn't trust himself to move normally, to relax in the stuffy heat of the gently rocking bedroom.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"I mean, you're a friend. I don't have any feelings for you like that."

"Oh." Diana knew this. She knew it like she knew the sky was blue, but it still felt like someone had slowly and firmly pushed their hand down on her heart, flattening the tender organ into something rubbery and flat. "I mean, I know."

They hadn't been doing anything particularly charged before that. They'd just been sitting, relaxing. Diana hadn't even been trying to read Astrid's stupid book. She'd been looking around her room, and her eyes alighted on Sam's face as he read a magazine, and she'd been entranced by how determined he looked. It was funny—he was so focused on reading something so drab and inconsequential, and his eyes looked so blue, so deep. Diana felt pulled in despite herself. She needed to do something, needed to express to him how endearing he looked.

Sam still looked abashed. He bit his lip. His eyes darted briefly to her mouth, something Diana didn't fail to catch. "You're still very, uh, beautiful—"

"I know you're with Astrid." She suddenly wished they'd get off the subject. "I didn't mean—I just...you're sweet."

"Oh. Thanks." Sam turned redder.

Diana swallowed. "I'm just really hormonal right now, actually."

"Okay."

They sat in silence for a few horrible, slow moments. Diana wanted to disappear. She stared at the coverlet, feeling Sam's eyes on her.

"Diana," he said softly.

"Yeah?" She looked at him. He stared back at her, looking serious. He was so close she could see the golden-blond color of his eyelashes and the flecks of green in his irises.

"It's not that I don't...y'know...I mean, you're...you." Sam's words were a murmur against Diana's mouth.

"Oh." Diana didn't know what that meant. She tried not to look at his lips, instead concentrating on his eyes. She could feel her body filling with heat. "Just so you know," she said, heart pumping fast, "it's not because of what Astrid was supposedly doing with Orc."

"Oh, yeah. I didn't think—I just meant that, maybe if I wasn't, if we weren't—" Sam combed his fingers through his golden-brown hair, bashful. "It's not like I haven't thought about it."

Diana's stomach turned with unease and excitement. She flushed deeply, unsure of what to say. Get it together, she thought sternly. Jesus, you're not in fifth grade anymore.

"I think Howard's lying, anyway," Sam said suddenly. He can't stand the silence, either, she thought. But he wasn't backing away. They were still close.

"He's, like, a drug dealer, right?" She knew Howard was, but she'd do anything to get off the topic of that stupid kiss.

Sam grimaced. "Yeah," he admitted. "Not officially, but yeah. He's no Caine or Drake, but he's unreliable. No one's really close to him. Except Orc, I guess, but he's...Orc."

"He doesn't seem like the type girls would fall for."

"No way." Sam laughed a little. "He scared even the ninth graders before all this, and that's when he looked human. I can't imagine anyone...you know. Especially not Astrid."

"Yeah," Diana echoed, looking at him carefully. Sam stated everything so matter-of-factly, as if trying to convince himself. He looked fine, but maybe he wondered if Howard was right. She personally didn't believe him for a second. Astrid was too uptight to cheat with anyone, even in a remote, vague sense, and especially not with dumb thugs. She'd seen Orc's type before—there were a few of his ilk at Coates. Their breath smelled like cigarettes or weed and their fingernails were always grimy. Creeps, the lot of them. Diana started to wonder. If what Howard said was true (though, she reminded herself, it most likely wasn't), it couldn't have been consensual.

Diana suppressed a shiver. No, she couldn't go there. Howard was lying, like Sam said.

"Diana." Sam's voice was husky. She was brought back to the bedroom, the dryness of her mouth, the green in her housemate's eyes. He looked at her with a kind of desperation and hunger that stirred her, so much so that she couldn't think any more about Astrid.

His hand crept to touch her jawline, tilting it slightly. Diana closed her eyes as his mouth pressed to hers, hungry and passionate and full of frustration. His teeth knocked against hers, tongue slipping into her mouth. For a moment, Diana let the pleasure swallow her up, glorying in the physicality of his soft mouth and tongue, before forcing herself to relent, pulling away.

"I'm sorry," Sam said, short of breath.

"No—" She bit her tongue. Let him apologize, she thought suddenly. How many times had she apologized for the kisses boys and men had initiated? Screw it.

"I shouldn't have done that," Sam said, running a hand through his hair again. He looked suddenly wan, not red-cheeked and passionate like he'd been just a second before.

"No," she admitted, face heating with shame. "You shouldn't have."

They looked at each other, at a loss for what to say.

Sam left quickly after. Diana didn't blame him. She sat on her bed, befuddled and embarrassed. Her lips burned from the kiss, which made her think of Astrid. Maybe it hadn't been a lie, she thought suddenly. Maybe she had kissed Orc, against all odds. It wasn't impossible, right?

If she had...he could confirm to Sam that Howard was making it all up. Maybe that'd make up for that stupid kiss.

Astrid looked surprised to see her. Once she sat down at the table, huffing a little due to the strain of walking for so long, Diana searched her face for signs of internal struggle. There were bags under Astrid's eyes, and she looked maybe a little paler than usual, but other than that, she looked normal. "What?" she asked, bewildered. "Why are you staring at me?"

Diana hesitated. "Howard came by the houseboat," she admitted. "He said some things, and—"

Astrid's eyes narrowed. "Sam didn't send you to check on me, did he?"

"No! I came on my own. I wanted to see if it was...true." Diana stared hard at the girl across the table, suddenly feeling heavy. Something was there, she realized. Something had happened. She could see it in Astrid's face. "Oh, my God."

"It's not what you think," Astrid blurted hastily. "Whatever Howard told you and Sam, it isn't true."

"Then what happened?" Diana leaned forward, and watched conflicted emotions play out subtly on Astrid's face. It was so odd to even contemplate: Astrid—perfect, prudish Astrid—had crossed a line with Orc. The knot that had grown in Diana's stomach ever since the kiss loosened. So she is fallible, Diana thought. Weird as hell, but fallible. It made her weirdly giddy to see Astrid so uncomfortable, so caught. It felt similar to how she felt when she found out that Astrid started having sex with Sam. It was like she was stepping off her snow-white pedestal she perpetually clung to.

"I can't tell you." Astrid's face was beet-red, her lips thinning.

"I swear I won't tell anyone. Swear to God." Diana switched to a different tack. "You don't need to feel ashamed, if that's the problem," she said gently, catching Astrid's eye. "I won't judge you. If anyone would understand what it's like to have guy troubles, it's me."

There was a heavy pause. Astrid looked down at the table. "We kissed," she said softly.

"Okay." Diana kept her tone neutral, but inwardly, she was an uneasy mixture of ecstatic and horrified. Astrid had kissed someone else. That meant Diana was at least somewhat off the hook for the kiss, but it also meant that Sam was wrong in believing in his girlfriend's fidelity. Despite her mind whirling, Diana managed to keep her tone soothing and even. "What was it like?"

Astrid paused and looked thoughtful, her brows knitting together. "It was...interesting."

How romantic. It sounded more like she was talking about a science experiment than a kiss. "What do you mean?" Diana asked.

Astrid looked down at her hands as she spoke. "His lips, they're mostly encased in stone, but it's not stone exactly, it's something a little more pliable. It feels like keratin, like lizard skin or fingernails. But a part of his mouth is still flesh, so it's not all hard. He wanted to kiss me only out of the corner that's still human. He was worried he'd scare me off, I think, if he kissed me with the gravel part."

Astrid put her hands on the table, looking up at Diana. "He's gentle," she added quietly. She frowned as she said it, as if she was still sorting out how she felt. "Part of me was worried he wouldn't be. Part of me thought...I don't know. Part of me was nervous. But he was more scared than I was."

Diana's face warmed with embarrassment. This sort of intimacy was weird. She didn't think she'd talked with anyone about guys this way.

"Was it...good?" she asked carefully. This was important; if it was, then she could let herself fully off the hook for the kiss she'd given Sam.

"I don't—"

"Yes or no. Was it good? Did you like it? Would you do it again?" These weren't supposed to be difficult to answer. Diana ignored her own complicated feelings regarding those very same questions; Caine was a whole different thing. Besides, at the very least he was cute. She couldn't say the same about Orc, who looked like just as much of a monster on the outside as Caine was on the inside.

Astrid paused and pursed her lips. After a moment, she said, "No."

Shit. Diana wasn't sure what to say next. She was at a loss; there was no chance of Astrid moving onto someone else. "Then...will you be coming back to the boat?" she asked, biting back any indication that she wouldn't be welcome to. Be a better person, be a better person.

"You're asking if I miss Sam." Astrid looked at Diana in that keen, discerning way that meant she was putting up the walls of her ice palace, her blue eyes narrow.

"I guess?" Diana frowned. She didn't like words being put in her mouth. When her host didn't reply, she added, "Sam misses you."

Astrid's face fell. She hunched over a little, as if curling in on herself. "He must think I'm a hypocrite," she said glumly.

Diana couldn't muster much sympathy. Well, yeah. "I mean, he's cheated before. He'd be throwing stones in glass houses," she said, shrugging off the remaining guilt clinging to her.

Astrid flinched at the word cheat. "I always thought that would be a line I wouldn't cross," she admitted.

Diana resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "I guess you're just not as good as you thought," she said as innocently as possible—not sweet enough that Astrid didn't glare at her, though.

"But I didn't mean to," Astrid continued in that same desperate way. It was beginning to get on Diana's nerves, that tone. "It didn't feel like cheating."

"Oh, my God." Diana snorted. She couldn't stop herself; it was just too good. She wanted to have compassion, really, she did, but the words popped out of her mouth before she could think about them. "No offense—and I mean that—but I bet literally every cheater would say the exact same thing."

Astrid's lip curled. She pushed her chair back and stood up. "You just don't get it," she snapped. "Never mind."

"No, I get it more than anyone." Diana stood up, too. They glared at each other. "You feel guilty 'cause you cheated. Big deal. Now you just gotta own up to it. Don't be a coward, don't be your ice queen self about it. Sam doesn't deserve that." Diana's skin crawled. You don't deserve that.

"I know that!" Astrid's eyes flashed. "I know he deserves the truth."

"Then tell him!" Tell her!

"I can't!" Her voice rose, her face flushing. "I don't understand why I wanted—why I did what I did. I can't tell him until I work it out. Please don't tell him, Diana. Please."

Diana stiffened when Astrid reached across the table to take her hands. She gripped them tight. Her palms were damp, but Diana didn't pull away; something about the guilty look in her eyes made Diana soften.

"Okay," she heard herself mutter. "Okay. Fine."