AN: I guess I take creative licensing with the spelling of some names, I do want to thank the one that pointed out Brooke, because that is how I have spelled it in other stories. I will also stay to Betsey as well. I am trying to be better at editing before I post, but honestly since I know what I am saying my eye is not catching things.

Jackie took a deep breath as she processed what Randy had just told her. Steven wasn't married, he had gotten scammed, but he still thought he was married. He was going to pick that girl over her. Even if it wasn't real, it didn't take the hurt away.

Donna wrapped her arm around Jackie, giving her the comfort she knew she needed.

Angie just sat there stunned, "What was he so drunk in Vegas a girl was able to convince him they got married?"

Randy turned his focus to Angie, knowing the questions Angie would as were the ones that Jackie would ask if she wasn't too stunned to speak.

"Yea, and then when Sam saw how he was living before he went to Vegas and confronted him about how rich she thought he was. I guess somehow she thought he owned Grooves or something. So she admitted they didn't really get married and she was going back to her husband."

Angie just sat there almost as stunned as Jackie, then Jackie began to laugh hard. Donna had only seen Jackie laugh like she was when they had been in a circle in the basement. "Jackie are you OK? You are laughing like you have only done when high."

"I am just picturing Steven in the stupid helmet, I mean to be convinced he got married to a stranger, that has to beat anything either Eric or Michael has ever done, probably combined. Do you think he would make sure to take his glasses off before the helmet is shoved on his head? Need to get the crazy glue from Michael and put it there permanently. I mean he is such an idiot, and he has thrown away a great future with me over it. If he thinks that he gets another chance after that he will need something more than the stupid helmet."

Angie took one of Jackie's hands, she had come to care for her brother, they had an almost normal sibling relationship now, and she cared for his girlfriend, they had become close after the initial spite of everything that happened in the office and with the opening of the store. "Jackie is there anything that you think would lead back to you able to forgive him?" She held out hope, Jackie was good for her brother, that time they were broke up earlier in the year she saw how hard it was for him.

That comment sobered Jackie up, "Honestly I don't know if there is a way past this, I know I was wrong with that ultimatum, if he had just read my letter before coming to Chicago. I mean our communication was pretty bad, he wouldn't let me talk about anything important. I don't even know how we are going to be able to communicate about the babies, I don't even know how I am going to tell him that there are two."

Randy thought for a moment, "What about a Parent Trap solution? You each get a kid and that is it? And think they can't pull the trap on you guys since they won't be identical" He hoped if anything it would lighten the mood, he knew that was a no go as soon as he thought it.

"Yea, I am barely trusting him for visitation rights, not going to trust him to raise one of my babies on his own" Jackie said.

"Yea I didn't think it would work, yea I couldn't see Hyde stepping into full time dad anyway."

The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. They all looked at each other confused, they didn't know who would be there. Finally Randy got up to check who was at the door, afraid that Hyde had found out where Jackie was. He was relieved to see WB, "Hey we didn't know who was here"

WB stepped in, "Well I just got back and figured Angie probably was still here and she didn't have her car. Plus wanted to see what you girls thought of the place."

Jackie stood up and went over to hug him, "Thank you WB, it is perfect. We are going to wait on the nursery for the last since we might be able to find out what the sex of the babies are before they are born. Thank you for bringing the cradle, that was really sweet of Mr. Foreman to let me use it."

"Well when I left this afternoon he was going to work on another one in the garage, so each will have their own. I do have a casserole that Kitty sent along with some cookies, she is sending more when the guys come with your things."

Donna stood up and took the dishes from WB, "Thanks, Mrs. Foreman is one of the best cooks I know. I know I am going to have to learn to cook if anything to take care of myself. I mean Jackie has learned and cooks a good breakfast."

"Well maybe Kitty can make a trip for a weekend sometime in the future to give cooking lessons. I think her biggest worry of you two on your own is if you will eat enough."

The girls laughed, that sounded like Mrs. Foreman.

Angie stood up, "Well we should get going and let them rest, Randy has to drive back tomorrow and I am sure everyone is tired." She leaned down and gave Jackie a quick hug, "our numbers are on a notepad by the phone in the kitchen. You may want to call Mrs. Foreman or Mr. Pinciotti to let them know you are here."

As they were walking out, WB turned, "Donna call your dad, Steven is staying with the Foreman's till he can find his own place." He made sure that Jackie didn't hear.

Donna nodded in understanding, she couldn't believe she hadn't called before now.

Jackie decided she would let Donna make the call while she went to get in her pajamas and start putting clothes up.

Donna sat down next to the phone on the couch in the living room. She had looked at the notes Jackie had made of what little things to add to make it feel more homey. She knew she would need to write Eric soon about the changes. She wondered if Hyde had read his letter from Eric that Donna left on his cot in his room a few weeks ago.

"Hi there, ho there" her dad's voice came through in answering the phone in his typical way.

"Hey dad, we are in the condo in Milwaukee, sorry I hadn't called before now, we have been busy. We left this morning after Randy showed up, and then we met Angie and she led us here riding with Randy. WB just stopped by, they just left. We have a spare bedroom, so Randy suggested you all when you bring my car and the rest of our things you all can spend the night, you can have the bed and the boys bring sleeping bags and sleep in the nursery or the living room."

"That sounds great pumpkin, it is going to be hard being in this house alone now, but Red and Kitty are next door and I don't know if I want to be far from them. We might be depending on each other for a while now. I know Hyde is still living in the basement, his car is in the driveway. I'll wait a bit before I go over to let them know. How is Jackie doing?"

"She is doing OK, I guess. Randy told her about the marriage being fake, she took it a little better than we thought she would. If you want to sneak into the basement and superglue the Packer helmet on Hyde, I think she would appreciate it. The guys have called it the stupid helmet, and well Hyde is now king."

Bob just laughed, "I don't think I could sneak in the basement, probably wake the whole house, but Red might be willing to help me with that helmet."

"Dad I am going to get off here, but I do miss you. Let Mr. and Mrs. Foreman know we are getting settled in and that we will enjoy the casserole that she sent us."

"Love you too pumpkin, take care."

Bob hung up with Donna and made his way next door, Kitty was in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner. Red seemed to be sitting at the table reading the paper. Kitty motioned for Bob to come in, "Have you heard from the girls?"

"Yea they are getting settled in"

What they didn't know was Hyde was on the stairs and stopped when he heard Kitty ask Bob about the girls, he decided he would sit on the steps and listen, maybe get a clue as to where Jackie was.

"Donna said that Jackie knows about Hyde's marriage, she took it pretty well. Suggested he have the stupid helmet glued to his head."

Red put down his paper, "I can't say I disagree with her. Most grown men would know if they got a girl that was better than they deserved and that loved them like Jackie did him, they would do everything to secure her. I mean despite some of my dumbass son's actions, he hasn't left Donna ever wondering about his feelings about her. Eric talked to me in depth before he left, he said he wanted to take the time to be apart where they could just write each other. Eric said they had trouble talking about the main issues and expectations. He hoped that being apart and relying on letters exchanged would help them communicate and see what they each wanted for their future."

Kitty had by this point sat at the table, "that is like how we communicated after we met, when you were in Korea."

Red looked at his wife and nodded, "Eric had asked a month or so before the Africa and everything how I communicated about our future, I had told him that the fact I was over in Korea and we could only communicate via letters for that year before I finally came home, I think that is why he jumped on the Africa trip."

Kitty had tears forming as she remembered all those letters she and Red wrote to each other, the things that he shared she knew he would have a hard time saying in person. For the first time she was starting to understand why Eric left for Africa. "We did talk a lot in those letters, didn't we?"

Red looked at his wife and gruffly stated, "Well I was able to hide the letters and didn't have to worry about one of the other guys hearing what I said."

Hyde quietly went back down the stairs and headed to his room, there he shut the door and pulled two boxes out from where they had been stored under his bed. The first one was the one he had taken from Jackie's room at her and the second was one that had been under his cot for several years now, it was the box his boots Jackie bought him all those years ago was in and now held all the things that he kept that was between the two of them. Knowing what was in his box he didn't start with it. He opened Jackie's box, notes he had sent her his senior year, usually not much but just things like meet him in the parking lot after her practice, or if she wanted to go to the movies or things over the weekend. There was little bags with what seemed like dried flowers, probably the ones he picked out of the Foreman's or Bob's yard to give to her. There was also several pictures, including the prom picture he couldn't help but notice how big her smile was with him in the picture. The picture from the Valentine's Day dance, the one they almost missed because of them almost breaking up. They both looked happy in most of the pictures. The most recent picture of the two of them was at the LOPPs Christmas party, as he studied the picture he had a look of annoyance and Jackie just looked sad. He realized his actions not only showed how immature he was, but he clearly didn't see that he had let her down and she wasn't just sad but she was disappointed in him. He had basically just told her not long before the picture was taken that life with her would be crap. He thought back, amazed she didn't just break up with him then. She had basically out Zenned him, she had worn a mask and wore it well. He had been busy with the store and making time for her, but he wasn't giving her the attention she needed. He was so happy when they got back together, he almost told her then he loved her, now he was kicking himself for not doing that. Had he finally opened up she might still be with him now, they would be planning their future, he would have her helping him pick out an apartment or even a house, she would decorate but he would have some veto power. He would be going with her to doctor's appointments making sure her and the baby was OK, they would probably argue over baby names. He then noticed a jewelry box at the bottom of the box, he opened it up recognizing the pearls she had shown him once. He remembered when she had gotten them on her eighteenth birthday. She had gone to see her grandmother for the weekend and she came back and showed him the pearls. He knew she was told to save them for her wedding, but everything going on with Foreman and Donna and the wedding that wasn't kept her from saying it out right. He wondered if that was why they were in this box and now with her other jewelry. He saw the grasshopper bracelet she used to always wear, she probably took it off when she got back from Chicago, or possibly right after he got back from Vegas. He put everything back in her box, then got up and reached in his top drawer, he pulled out the ring that was there. He was a little surprised that it was still there, he had left for Chicago in such a hurry he forgot it until he was half way there, and figured that as long as he said the word with a promise the ring was in his room Jackie would forgive him. He would have thought Jackie would have gone through his room while he was gone, he wondered if she even stepped foot in his room when she got back. He had bought the ring right after they got back together the last time. He had told himself he was waiting for the right moment, why he didn't when she gave him the ultimatum he didn't know. Why he went to the warehouse that night he couldn't even remember. He had told himself one last blowout before he settled down. He was so pissed when he read the first part of the letter Jackie left him that she had left and didn't bother at the time to read the rest. He opened his boot box and placed the ring and those last two letters from Jackie. He needed to fix this, he needed to fix his life and fix things with Jackie, not just for their child but for each other. He didn't want to think of a life separate from Jackie, never seeing her again. Why did he say those things to her when he got back? Then he remembered, 'I am surprised you didn't fake a pregnancy.' He felt sick. The things he had said to her, hell some of the things he had done in the past had she done them to him, he would have never thought to forgive her. Why did he always think she would take him back after the stuff he had done? Because she had with Kelso all those times. But did he ever think after some time she would grow up and realize she deserved more? That was why he kept holding her at a distance, because one day she would realize he wasn't worth it and move on. And it looked like she had finally moved on, but she might not have realized it but she had ripped his heart out of his chest and took it with her. It was payback, she had willingly gave him her heart and he had crushed it, like that egg he tossed around with Kelso that time that Jackie had gave Kelso to take care of. What was that saying? If you broke it you fix it. He realized he needed to start fixing what he had broke, but he didn't know exactly where to start. He glanced over where the letter Foreman had sent him, he talked about how this time was going to be spent in communication via letters to Donna about their future. Then he thought of the conversation he overheard of Red and Kitty exchanging letters when Red was fighting in Korea. Even Jackie stated in her letters it was easier to tell him the truth in the letters than in person. He wasn't sure if she would even read the letter, but he figured he would try.

Hyde got up and started to search for a notebook. Not finding one in the basement, he made his way up to the kitchen, not hearing any voices he figured the kitchen was empty. He was surprise to find Red sitting there nursing a beer.

"Um, I was looking for some paper" Hyde looked around the kitchen.

"Steven sit down, I want to talk to you." He sat across from him at the table. "You know over the years Kitty nor have I never had to call someone's house to send Eric home. But you would think for the number of kids that hung out in our basement we would get calls constantly to send you kids home. But you know who I got calls from?"

Hyde just looked at him, he knew Edna never called, he just shrugged his shoulders.

"The Ergman's, they would call for Fez. The Pinciotti's were next door and knew where Donna was, and Donna would know when she needed to go home. The Kelso's well, you know they couldn't keep track of all their kids. I don't have to say anything to you about your mother, because you know. But never once did I ever get a call from Jack or Pam Burkhart, the princess of Point Place as some of you used to refer to her, had parents that didn't give a crap about her. You guys were doing career day all those years ago when she showed up here looking for her friends. I found out that day she was pretty damn smart and not useless, not only could she hold a flashlight but she was handy at helping me with the car. We spent most of the day together, not once did one of her parents call to check on her. I knew back then that despite the fact of where she lived and who her parents were she was in the same boat as you. Only you could speak out about your mother, heck it was part of your image you created, Jackie had her own image and she couldn't tell anyone. I remember she talked about her dad was going to buy her a mustang, but he never did. Remember I was the one that drove her home after her father was arrested, I had to stand there in her kitchen holding her while the police said that she wouldn't be able to speak to her father and questioned about her mother. I was dumb enough at the time to believe that her mother was on her way back from wherever she was, that she had a live in maid that would watch over her."

Hyde felt his stomach turning, he remembered all that, he could remember when he found out the maid quit after her paycheck had bounced and Pam wasn't back. They got into an argument that day that ended in her sneaking into his room and staying.

"You know the night we caught Jackie in your bed I was angry but I will be honest I was touched. I was angry neither of you came to me or Kitty about Jackie being alone, but I was also impressed that you two were sharing that small cot fully clothed." Red gave Steven a look that had a twinkle in his eye. "Now considering the condition Jackie is in now, it hasn't always been just sleeping and keeping her safe. I am no dummy, hell Eric and Donna were caught by the police, we actually saw them on the kitchen table, and there was the pregnancy scare Donna had a little over a year ago. Honestly I was starting to warm up to the idea of having a grandbaby when we found out Donna wasn't pregnant. I don't know if you even noticed, but I was taking it better than I did when Kitty thought she was pregnant a few years ago. Well it looks like you are giving me my first grandchild. I don't know how things are going to work out, but you are going to be sober around your child." He motioned at the can he was holding, "it is time you learn that this isn't something to use to escape your responsibilities or answers to your questions. This may help you relax at the end of a long day, but when abused will lead you to be dependent on it, and lead to bad choices."

Red stood up and poured the rest of his beer out before putting it in the trash, "You might want to get some sleep and pray to God that you figure out a way to get yourself out of the whole you dug."

Before Steven could say anything else Red was gone.

That night at the beer warehouse all he thought about was that stupid ultimatum, and said he was looking for answers at the bottom of the keg. The only thing he was left with was a major hangover, he could blame that hangover for not finishing the letter Jackie had left him. He found an empty notebook over on the counter by the sink, he grabbed it and headed back to his room.

Before he started to write Jackie he needed to make a list of what he needed to do with his life. Sitting in his normal chair in the basement he grabbed a pen and began to write.

Grow up

Quite the circle and getting drunk just to get drunk

Don't be Bud or Edna

Move out of the basement

Start taking care of the store more

Stop caring what others think of him that don't matter (Jackie is really the only one that matters, maybe the Foreman's)

Become the man his kid will look up to

Become the man that Jackie always said she saw in him

Fix things with Jackie

Never let Jackie ever doubt his love for her ever again

He knew before he got to the last two things on his list he first had to take care of everything else. He picked up the calendar on the table, if he was right Jackie got pregnant in February and from what he remembered from his high school health class was nine months, the baby would be due in November. Could he get all this done before the baby gets here? He thought back after the incident with the nurse, no he probably couldn't, he just had to make sure this time he didn't screw it up when or if she decided to give him another shot. He still wasn't sure why he had that chick that he threw in Jackie's face because she took the summer decide if she could forgive him or not. The thought of her not forgiving him and giving him/them a chance to be a family felt like a knife to his chest. He decided he needed to sleep, tomorrow he would start on what he needed to do.

Donna sat at the kitchen table that morning, so much had happened in the last few days and she had been so busy that she decided to write Eric. His last letter had taken a load off of her. He told her to take the year to work towards her future, he hoped she would still think of him as part of that future. He hoped that over the time he was in Africa they could work on talking about what each saw in the future along with what they were doing. He talked about the school, the village and how he was finally beginning to feel self-assured in himself. Donna grabbed a cup of coffee, it was still early and began to write to Eric.

Eric,

I think your idea of our letters is a great idea. I don't know if you noticed the post mark or return address, I am now living in Milwaukee, I will start summer school at Marquette. I know your program is not tied down to any certain school, but there are several different colleges here, and I hope maybe when you come back you might think of coming here and going to one of the colleges here.

I guess I need to fill you in on what all has happened that has led to me here. Honestly I just got moved in somewhat yesterday. I had gone to stay with Jackie and her aunt and uncle in Chicago for a bit, mainly as a support for her till we figured out where we would go. Hyde finally came back, and was a world class dillhole, he has been in Vegas this entire time. Your parents were not happy with him. He never finished reading that letter Jackie had left him. Then not long after he showed up some blonde in very inappropriate clothes showed up to claim to be his wife, saying they got drunk and married in Vegas. Jackie asked if he was staying with his wife, and if so they would be over and never see each other again. I won't go into details, but it wasn't pleasant. Your dad refused to let them live in his house. Jackie and I ended up going to my house and then over to Randy's.

Jackie let us (me, Kelso and Fez) know she was pregnant, that was the point of her ultimatum, Hyde wouldn't talk about their future and she needed to know, on top of that the mansion was being lost to foreclosure. At this she was desperate to find where she stood with Hyde. She admitted it all in the letter, aside from the pregnancy. She decided she needed out of Point Place. After talking to your parents and WB, WB offered us a condo he has here. I will be enrolling in classes in a few weeks after we get settled in.

Hyde's marriage ended up being a scam, the girl thought he was some rich dude till she saw where he was living. She admitted she thought he was richer than her husband, yea they weren't legally married.

Before you get upset Jackie wrote a letter to Hyde before we left Point Place and left it for Kelso, the letter was telling him about the baby. After we got to Chicago it seems that Hyde got a little nostalgic or something and went to the mansion, he found a box Jackie kept her stuff from Hyde in, well she also had put the pregnancy test. Kelso and your dad gave him the letter from Jackie. Your parents let him stay in the basement after the tramp left. While he was reading the letter, Randy came and helped Jackie and I move here yesterday. Later dad and the boys, (Randy, Kelso and Fez) are going to come with the rest of our stuff along with my car and probably a ton of food your mother is fixing.

Something else I haven't mentioned is that Jackie found out she is carrying twins. I am going to be honest with you, I am in a way glad we are out of Point Place and the stress she would have there, she hasn't been gaining the weight she needs to. Fez filled me in that the whole Burkhart Mansion foreclosure is the big gossip right now. She doesn't need to be there in the middle of that. Not to mention what would be said if her pregnancy became known. Jackie doesn't want to cut Hyde out of their children's lives, though right now we don't know if he knows that it is twins yet, but Jackie wants nothing to do with him. I don't know how that is going to work, but for now I am going to do everything to support Jackie and make sure she stays healthy and has two healthy babies. I wish you could be here to support me, but I know you probably right now are glad to be an ocean away from a pregnant and hormonal Jackie Burkhart.

So for now my life is being the best friend and support to our favorite midget, and working on getting started on a career path. I guess once we get settled and I have my car here I will look into a job. The bright spot in all this for Jackie is her grandmother left her a butt load of money and she has been handed over her trust fund that her parents couldn't touch. At least here in Milwaukee we have the support of WB and Angie, both are furious with Hyde as are the rest of us. I know Kelso hates that you guys went to the warehouse that night with Charlie while Jackie was going through so much. Charlie was in trouble with his dad, but is working to make up for all you guys drunk that night. He has kept in touch with Kelso and Fez. He said he may try to come back to Point Place for the New Years.

I miss you, I know you would be able to help me to laugh when I need to, my heart breaks for Jackie. I just hope and pray everything works out. We did last night let her know that Hyde was not married. She was relieved that the tramp wouldn't have issue with being part of her babies' lives, but I could tell she was hurt too. I hope everything is going to be settled around here for a while. Of course once the babies are born, that will be over. We have wondered if you would want to come back after they are born and be a nanny? You don't have to answer right away, just a thought. You have a few months to think about it.

Miss you so much, looking forward to hearing more about your adventures in Africa.

Love,

Donna

Eric put down the letter, he couldn't believe all that had happened back home. He could imagine the line of people ready to put their foot up Hyde's ass, with his own father in the front of the line. Everyone knew Jackie was Red's favorite. Though he would still call Jackie the Devil, but in truth they really did get along. They had had their own moments of heart to heart conversations that he would later talk to Donna about. Somewhere along the way Jackie had become one of his best friends. Sadly he knew some of the things she wasn't able to share with Hyde. He remembered back when Donna was able to talk to Hyde about the issues with her parents instead of him, he wondered if Hyde even knew about the conversations they had, he had never said anything because he was afraid that Hyde would be worse than he was. He had at times really wanted to talk to him about what Jackie had told him, but he never wanted to talk about his feelings or his future, he understood what led Jackie to the ultimatum. Sure Red was a hardass, but in truth he knew how his dad felt about him. He wondered what type of father Hyde would be? And with twins, Donna didn't say much about the twins, two girls, two boys or one of each? It would serve Hyde right to have two girls just like their mother. Or maybe two boys just like himself, no matter what they would probably give their parents hell in the years to come. But one thing he knew just from how Jackie talked in some of their conversations, they would be loved by their mother. Jackie had talked about how lucky Eric was to have his parents, Jackie was the one that helped him understand his father did love him. After finding out how Jack Burkhart behaved in opposite of Red Foreman. Jackie didn't want people to feel sorry for her, but she wanted Eric to appreciate what he had. Those that Jackie let in knew the girl had a huge heart, despite the parents she had. He was proud of Donna for standing by Jackie at this time and getting out of Point Place. He had never thought of other colleges around Milwaukee but it would be something to look into. He decided to write his old buddy Hyde, he never thought he could be disappointed in a friend, even when Kelso was trying to get out of things with Brooke. He could never understand why his friend could never admit to anyone what he really felt.

Eric remembered when Donna first said she loved him, he was an idiot and responded with 'I Love Cake' he could easily blame the influence on his friends, Hyde never said anything like that wouldn't even say he liked something, Kelso said it but mostly to get out of trouble, and who could understand much of what Fez said back then. Sure his friends thought he was a wuss, especially after the broke up and then again after Donna left for California, but he had given Donna his heart and even now she had it.

He had several letters to write, one thing Donna was completely right about, he was glad to be so far away from Jackie and her hormonal changes. He decided to write to each of his friends, Jackie included, it was time they stopped picking on each other and burning each other constantly. He took out and wrote to Fez and Kelso encouraging them in their work, making sure they did what they could for Jackie and to stay close to Hyde to make sure he didn't self-destruct. He wrote Jackie congratulating her on her upcoming motherhood, telling her he thought she was going to be a great mom because whatever she set her mind to do she did it 100% and would do everything to make sure those babies had the best life, the most love. He also hinted he was putting himself out there for godfather. He struggled what to write Hyde, he didn't know what to tell him, he wasn't happy with him. He wasn't even sure if he read his last letter, the others would write him back but it would be a cold day in the African desert before Hyde would write anything. How do you keep writing someone that won't take the time to write you back? He decided this might be his last letter to Hyde, if he wasn't going to grow up and take responsibility than he was done.

Hyde,

Man I don't know where to start. Or if I am just wasting my time and paper here. I always thought we were closer, more like brothers growing up but it is like I don't know you anymore. I thought you never wanted to be Bud and Edna, but the guy I am hearing about from our friends is just like them. The way you have talked to Jackie, the way you are drinking. Growing up you were this cool guy I looked up to, you didn't care what others thought about you. But now I realize you really do care what others think about you, you want everyone to see you as that cool uncaring guy. How dare any of your friends see that you have real emotions, sure we were dicks to make fun about it, but that is just what we do. Did you have to go so far to prove us wrong that you don't have to emotions and you don't care for anyone or anything that you have done what you have done? God I hope I am wrong and maybe by the time you get this letter you have started to come to your senses. I would have thought you to be a real man back when Kelso was glad to be off the hook with Brooke when she found out she was pregnant. Jackie was so proud of you taking him to task about doing the right thing.

Yea, Jackie and I talk we have for a long time. Sort of like the conversations you have had with Donna over the years. I learned to accept that over time. Though I know despite Donna talking to you about her problems, you never talked to Donna about yours. Honestly Jackie and I have talked, I probably would have royally screwed things up several times if not for Jackie. Back when I found out about you and Jackie I was probably madder at her for not telling me than you, I expected you not to share, because whenever have you let anyone in. But Jackie told me she was falling for you and she has was scared where it would lead. I knew Pam had taken off, she finally told me but made me promise I wouldn't tell anyone. You don't know how bad I wanted to break that promise to you especially that day we sat at the kitchen table and I told you that you were happier with Jackie. Jackie has become like a little sister and well I like her a lot more than Laurie, so I guess right now it is best I am this far from you. I wish someone could record if Red does finally kick your ass. I guess a kid growing up without a father is better than growing up with a father that never cares and treats their mom like trash.

I don't know that I'll write again, I am tired of this being a one way friendship, I guess I understand where Jackie is coming from, after a while it gets too much. Maybe I should have just never said anything back when Edna left. You didn't want anyone to care for you and now you are showing you don't care for anyone else. If you cared for my parents at all you would have never left like you did and be gone without a word. My parents may have forgiven you for that, but honestly I am not sure it will be easy for me. They brought you into their house and at times treated you better than me, sure you needed it from where you came from and you seemed grateful, but I don't see that now. I guess if I hear from you I'll write back, but the ball is in your court now, I don't need a novel but a haiku would suffice, just don't wish me to die away from you like you did Jackie. Where I am now that is at times a possibility, but something I am not letting mom, Donna or even Jackie know the dangers here.

Eric Foreman

Eric sat back and took a deep breath, he felt like he had just in one letter let out all the frustrations over the last several months. He remembered asking Jackie after the Christmas party where her mom was when they found themselves alone. He so badly wanted to tell his parents, Donna and Hyde what was going on. He knew if things got really bad she had family in Chicago, but that was a last resort. If it wasn't for getting that cable program and his encouragement to keep at it, she probably would have left for Chicago then. It was when he was with Donna in California that he told her about the odd friendship he had with Jackie, how she was the one to encourage him to go after her. He said they had long ago decided that they would still put on the front of the dislike of each other. Eric would always tell Donna when him and Jackie talked, and most times what they talked about. Like when he decided to pawn the engagement ring off, he offered Jackie the money she had paid for it. Jackie told him now she was paying for his silence that they didn't confide in each other like they did. Donna understood, there were times she talked to Hyde about things that would be hard to talk to either Jackie or Eric, it made sense.

Next he finally gathered his thoughts to write Donna, he wanted to congratulate her on moving to Milwaukee and starting her college life, to let her know how proud he was of taking that move and sticking by Jackie. He shared what all he was learning and what was happening with him, leaving out the dangers. He just wanted to share how they were working for a life together and wherever that would take them. He also stated he was not interested in a nanny position, so they could drop that idea. He did let her know about a bad trip he had with a peace pipe a few days ago and didn't know if he would ever participate in something like that again including the circles back home. The last thing he wanted to happen was come back home and be like Leo.

He finished his letter and got them all ready to go out in the mail tomorrow. Something he had started while in Africa is pray at the end of the night, he wasn't religious but considering the people he was with he was beginning to grow faith, and his mother had told him before he left that when all else fails pray. He prayed for Jackie and her pregnancy, for Donna and her new adventure, he prayed for his family and friends to be safe, and for Hyde to grow into the man he thought he was. Finally he prayed he would be safe here as well. There was illness all around, there was talk that the program might be cut short but not sure as of yet. They were doing their best to make things safe and clean, it wasn't teaching the three Rs like he thought it would be, but teaching them basics of survival, how to treat wounds, how to dig clean wells for clean water. His dad would be impressed if he saw him now, he was building muscle and having taken time in the day to play with the children he was finally getting the hang of catching a ball and playing sports. For the first time he felt like he was doing something that was making a difference in the world. He didn't know if he would go to college for teaching or maybe something else, but he felt like he had more of a focus on his life. Maybe that was everyone's problem back home, the lack of focus. But now Kelso had Betsey and his job on the police department, Fez had his job at the salon and was working on getting into school for hair and such, Donna was finally getting serious about her schooling and Jackie had the babies to focus on. Hyde should be sharing in that along with the fact he had a pretty decent job running Grooves, but he didn't seemed to want to focus.