Chapter 6
It wasn't even close to dawn when she shot up in her bed, pyjamas clinging to her sweaty body, hand shakily covering her downturned lips to try and mask the horror.
The nightmare was so uncomfortably vivid that Sakura still felt as though she was burning – yes, literally burning alive. In her dream, she was trapped in the destroyed camp of her clan, surrounded by sobs and wails of torture but unable to help any of her clansmen as they lay before her dying. All the while, the fire that ravaged the camp drew closer and closer to her, the smoke filling her lungs irreparably, the flames licking at her skin and mangling it and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get away from it.
There wasn't a chance in hell that she was going back to sleep, Sakura decided and clambered out of bed on unsteady legs, taking a long moment to try and collect herself. It would be best if she got started on her day, even if that meant having absolutely nothing to do–
No, not nothing to do, Sakura reminded herself and turned to her desk, picking up a scroll Itachi handed her before they parted ways the day before.
Its age showed in the discoloured paper, but only in that regard, since it was clearly cared for over the years and protected from all other kinds of mishaps. She unwound it carefully, recalling that the scroll was his as a child, presented to him by his father when Itachi showed promise during the war.
Gentle, wary fingers grazed the kanji and Sakura wondered sadly if Sasuke was ever given a scroll similar to Itachi's, or if they perhaps shared the one in her possession.
What would Sasuke think of her situation? Would he be as put out as he was in the past, having to share Itachi and Shisui's attention with her? Would he be happy that there was a chance she was an Uchiha too?
"Stupid," she mumbled to herself with a quivering bottom lip.
Why would Sasuke even care?
It shouldn't even matter to her, Sakura thought angrily. He was the one who left them on his quest for more power, making it painfully obvious he didn't care in the slightest. Nobody forced Sasuke to leave. Nobody forced him to beat his friend and teammate to a bloody pulp and leave him for dead.
Sakura sat on the edge of her bed, skimming through the contents of the scroll and forcing herself to forget about everything for the time being.
"Wow," came the unhelpful whistle of her rival. "I take it you didn't sleep well last night."
"That obvious?" she drawled.
Leaning forward onto the counter so that she was propped up on her elbows, Ino tilted her head to the side, blue eyes assessing her body language with an eyebrow that slowly started to raise.
"You could give Sabaku no Gaara a run for his money with the dark circles you have at the minute," she continued, subtly prodding. Of course, knowing Ino, she would wait for Sakura to open up first. Their friendship was still in that precarious stage of repair where they didn't want to come on too strongly or unnecessarily push any boundaries, although it was certainly much better than it had been prior to Sasuke's desertion. "Stop being such a shut-in at the hospital. No guys are going to want you at this rate."
Like guys were even on her mind, Sakura thought grumpily. The only boy who'd ever meant anything to her in that regard, or even caught her attention, was Sasuke – look where that got her. She sure as hell wasn't opening herself up to that sort of pain again.
"I know you're worried about how far ahead of you I am, but don't be so jealous, Ino-Pig," Sakura shot back with a smile that took away any bite to her words. "It's not a good look."
With it being close to Mother's Day and knowing the flower store was opening earlier than usual for the next week, Sakura had decided there was no harm in checking to see if Ino was working. At the very least, she could kill an hour or so hanging around and talking, seeing as they only had a couple of customers so early in the morning. If not, then going for a run until it turned a reasonable hour wasn't so bad.
"Please," she snorted and flicked her long, blonde hair over her shoulder, standing tall at the chime of the bell signifying someone had entered the store. Ino waved cheerfully in greeting, taking several moments out of their conversation to ask if the person needed any help, before returning to Sakura with a haughty tip of her chin once they were seen to. "Everything looks good on me."
"Took you that long to think of that comeback, huh?" teased Sakura.
Blue eyes rolled, but she could see the traces of embarrassment in the pinkening of her cheeks. "Shut up."
Even after all that happened between them, she couldn't deny that being friends with Ino again was exactly what she needed following the disbanding of Team Seven. The best part was that it rarely got awkward between the two of them, for they were so ready to move on and rebuild their friendship.
Having Ino by her side was… It reminded her of why they became friends in the first place. Not because she was popular and beautiful and always so stylish – it was before then. Despite being all those things and having no reason to help her out, Ino stood by side without a shred of hesitancy and went toe-to-toe with the bullies harassing her. While knowing how low of a standing Sakura had at the academy and the vast differences between their worlds with her being a civilian, they became fast friends. Best friends.
Breaking up their friendship was one of her biggest regrets.
But there she was. Once again standing by her side during a hard time despite everything.
"So, what's up?" questioned Ino. Lingering towards the front of the store, the blonde double checked the signs were up to show that they were open, her smile while standing in the doorway and watching the streets slowly fill with more people warm and welcoming. "How's training going?"
Grimacing at the reminder of another responsibility being piled on top of everything she already had going on, Sakura walked to the side of the store, admiring the white lilies on display. "Rough. I got tag-teamed yesterday by Shisui-sensei and Itachi-san."
"Wait, they tag-teamed a genin?"
"Right?" she demanded, exasperated.
Exhaling sharply with an air of disappointment, Ino returned to the counter where it was considerably warmer. Although the weather was beginning to look up, it was still remarkably cold first thing in the morning, so she couldn't blame her friend for ditching her task of trying to draw in customers. Of course, if one of her parents approached, Ino would be right back out there, busying herself with the display bouquets or the plant pots that hung off the windowsills and pretending like she hadn't been slacking.
"Isn't it weird hanging out with Itachi-san?" she questioned curiously. "I mean, he's Sasuke-kun's older brother."
Yeah, but there really weren't that many similarities between the two, which made it easier to spend time with Itachi. The only time it got uncomfortable was when Sasuke was either brought up, or it was obvious the other was thinking about him – it was never weird, though, now that she was thinking about it.
"No," Sakura answered honestly, surprising the blonde. "If anything, it's been kind of nice."
"Because he gets it?"
"…Yeah," she said before sighing deeply. "Itachi-san's hurting too, you know? It's comforting knowing I'm not alone in missing him."
Ino frowned at that, saying quietly, "I miss him too."
"I know, but–" Sakura cut herself off at the twitching of Ino's frown, knowing how deeply she'd also cared for Sasuke. The last thing she wanted to do was invalidate how she was feeling in some way, even though the irrational side of Sakura screamed that they didn't have half the bond she and Sasuke had. "We both could have stopped him that night and we…"
The hurt in her blue eyes doubled and she stepped forward, blocking the view of Sakura from the windows. "You both feel like you failed?"
"How can we not?" she couldn't help but whine, quickly wiping beneath her eyes to catch the tears trying their damnedest to fall. "I was there that night, Ino. I was right there and I just… I couldn't do anything to stop him!"
Damn it, she hadn't wanted to break down over Sasuke in front of anyone. Not again. Not when it felt like that was all she'd done for months after his desertion – hell, even leading up to it too, due to the curse mark on his neck and all the implications that came along with it.
Hiding the pain was impossible though, especially in front of Ino, who could read her or drag the information out of Sakura without even trying. All she had to do was look at her with that knowing gaze – no, not knowing. Empathetic. All she had to do was look at her a certain way and Sakura couldn't help but spill everything to her.
"Sakura," sighed Ino unhappily and spared a brief glance to the door behind her. When she looked back to Sakura, Ino's tone was more open. "We all failed Sasuke-kun in one way or another. I can't imagine how isolated and unhappy he must have felt to go to someone like Orochimaru."
That was… It just wasn't the same. Sasuke never really spoke much with the others who'd graduated in their class unless they were working together, whereas Team Seven had met up daily. And even if he hadn't felt comfortable going to someone on their team regarding his problems, then surely he would have spoken to his parents or Itachi?
"None of us noticed him slipping away, Sakura," Ino continued brokenly. Taking a deep breath like she needed to compose herself, blue eyes averted, blinking several times. "It breaks my heart knowing that even with how intensely we both love him, he couldn't feel it."
But he had. Sakura knew that Sasuke, at the very least, understood her love for him and on some level, cared for her too. Why else would he have protected her so fiercely time and time again? If he hadn't cared, why would he have comforted her that time before the exams, when no one else even noticed that she was feeling apprehensive and unsteady?
No, Sasuke felt her love.
It just wasn't enough for him.
"Sakura-chan~"
Thankful for her heart-breaking thoughts being diverted, Sakura gave her entire attention to the man who appeared in the flower shop's doorway, smiling faintly at the flash of concern in Shisui's eyes.
"I spoke with Hokage-sama and she agreed to joint custody," he told her with a smirk that unsettled her greatly. "So, today, you will be joining us on a mission."
How she missed Itachi standing behind Shisui, she would never know, but once noticing his quiet presence in the background, she felt her heart sinking at the carefully smooth mask he wore. The chances of the two of them missing their conversation was slim to none, seeing as they wouldn't have seen her in the window due to Ino's positioning, meaning they'd heard her voice or name at some point.
Taking a moment to shake away her sadness, Ino spun on her heel with false cheerfulness, smiling warmly.
"Joint custody, huh?" she enquired, the lilt in her tone telling Sakura that she was about to rinse the two men for all the money they had on them. "Then I can't let you leave with at least buying Sakura celebratory bouquets!"
"Bouquets? Plural?"
Ino's smile widened.
Breathing in the scent of the flowers in her arms, she walked towards her home with a skip in her step, pretending not to hear Shisui sighing heavily at the sudden emptiness of his wallet.
"How did she do it?" she vaguely heard him complain to Itachi. "Why couldn't I say no?"
Ino was the perfect salesperson, but more than that, she was the sweetest friend (when she wanted to be). Seeing how down Sakura was, she'd brightened her day considerably with the several bouquets of pretty flowers and to take it that one step further, all bouquets were passed to the two behind her, forcing the men to gift the flowers to her like they hadn't just been coerced into buying them.
"Thank you both," she told them sweetly. "Nobody's ever bought me flowers before."
"I suppose I can't complain then," sighed Shisui. "Not if it's made my student this happy."
Finally glancing over her shoulder at them both, she asked, "Did Tsunade-sama really say that this is okay? She doesn't mind you training me?"
He nodded and only took a single stride to walk alongside her, leaving Itachi to trail behind them. She noticed the younger Uchiha was lost in his thoughts, his mind no doubt on the same devastating path her own had been stuck on before their arrival. Could she help him out of it, she wondered? Was it possible to cheer Itachi up and did she even stand a chance in doing so?
"I emphasised the importance of your training to become a medic-nin and how that would take precedence, but also expressed the importance of experience." Reaching out, Shisui touched one of the white lilies Ino had been adamant in her getting, visibly wary of getting the vexing pollen on his fingers. "Hokage-sama agreed on the grounds that even while you're gaining this experience, I ensure that you will stick to the medic rules."
Of course she would. Even with the intensifying training, Sakura knew she was not up for battle, mainly because of her storing away chakra in the hopes of one day activating the Byakugō no In, leaving her with a considerably lower amount of chakra at her disposable. If she fought in her current condition, the chances of fainting and becoming a huge liability was way too high and she would never put her teammates in such a predicament. She couldn't risk their lives like that.
"What's the mission?" asked Sakura curiously. She briefly glanced behind herself once more, part of her hoping Itachi would be the one to speak up.
He wasn't.
"Nothing too exciting, but I would understand if you can't go through with it," Shisui told her at length.
Couldn't go through with it? Sakura returned her gaze to him, frowning in confusion as she thought over the missions that generally allowed a shinobi to decline them. The only ones she could really think of were assassinations, seductions (both due to her age) and lastly, because they were–
"It's personal," Sakura deduced, arms loosening slightly around her flowers. Coming to an abrupt halt in their walking, she turned to face them both, looking between them with a knot of dread in her stomach. "Why is it personal?"
Don't say it.
Shisui spared a glance with his cousin and at the single look, no matter how guarded their expressions were, Sakura knew exactly why.
"We're meeting with Jiraiya-sama and Naruto-kun."
Wait.
Naruto?
Her gut instinct was wrong?
Hope and happiness bloomed in her chest at the thought of seeing that idiot.
"We are meeting with them to see what information Jiraiya-sama has to offer about Orochimaru," Shisui added quietly, clearly not wanting others to listen in. "Depending on what we hear and how far his closest hideout is, we have permission to investigate it."
The warmth that was radiating in her chest vanished abruptly.
"O-Orochimaru…" Looking straight to Itachi, she took a step closer, brows knitting together. "Do you think we'll see…?"
That was why he was so quiet, she realised belatedly. Although more than capable of apprehending his little brother, Sakura could suddenly understand from his stiff body language that he was anxious. Perhaps even wary of getting his hopes up.
"The chances of crossing paths with them are low," Shisui admitted lowly and sighed unhappily. "Orochimaru won't want to risk losing a valuable asset like Sasuke."
But not zero, Sakura added inwardly and she knew from the setting of Itachi's jaw that he thought that too.
What would they do if they did see Sasuke? As she'd just thought: Itachi was more than capable of apprehending Sasuke – going off what she'd witnessed yesterday, even at half his strength, it wouldn't be classed as a fight between them and that was without adding Shisui to the mix. The pair of them were relentless and she hadn't lasted five minutes against a fraction of their strength. Sasuke was impressively strong, but… He wasn't up to their level.
That dangerous, stupid hope rekindled and she tightened her grip on the bouquets, expression growing serious.
If they saw Sasuke, that was it.
He would be coming home with them.
"How long will we be gone?" she asked.
"It will take about two days to reach Jiraiya-sama and Naruto-kun. From there, we could be gone anywhere between a week or two," explained Shisui. With sagging shoulders that complemented his dejected sigh, he glanced down at the flowers, mumbling brokenly, "Which I knew from the start and still Yamanaka-san somehow talked me into buying those."
Up to two weeks.
"I suppose you could give them to your mother," he suggested, apparently not realising that neither of them were even listening by that point. Sakura's mind was too busy coming up with potential scenarios, and she knew Itachi was thinking along the same lines as their eyes met once more. "Or even to Hokage-sama to thank her for agreeing."
Two weeks' worth of possibilities of crossing Sasuke's path and bringing him home.
Curiously watching how focused Shisui was on his task of decoding the scrolls, Sakura lowered herself to the ground beside Itachi and brought her knees up to her chest. A fire burned only a few feet away from them, warming the immediate area and she relished the comfort it brought, its glow relaxing.
The travel so far had been quiet and uneventful, with the most exciting piece of action being a pigeon that almost flew straight into her when it left its nest without taking note of its surroundings. Luckily for the bird, Sakura's reflexes were improving drastically and dodging it before it collided with her had been effortless on her part, though admittedly, her heart had taken a few minutes extra to calm down from the shock.
Mindful of her storing away chakra (for she was obligated to share such information with the captain of the mission – Shisui), they were taking regular breaks so that she wouldn't be drained by the journey, in addition to stopping at night. It made her feel like a burden, but that feeling lasted about as long as her mini heart attack from earlier that day, because it truly couldn't be helped. To get her through those feelings, Sakura reminded herself that one day, it would be worth it. One day, she would hopefully have the same techniques as her shishou.
"I hate instant ramen," Sakura said conversationally at Itachi's continued silence, bringing his attention to her cup by raising it slightly.
"Then why did you pack it?"
Mostly for nostalgia. All those times during Team Seven's year together when she or Sasuke (a couple of times even Kakashi) would nag at Naruto that his choice of dinner was always so predictable and unhealthy – the smell was almost comforting to her and once or twice, Sakura found herself making a cup only to let it grow cold, just so that she could try and go back to those moments and pretend like everything was okay again.
Gods, it felt so long ago now.
"Quick and simple," Sakura told him instead, smiling. Then, noticing that his hands were empty and knowing he hadn't already eaten, she asked Itachi, "What are you having?"
"I don't feel like eating."
Worry laced through her, but she hesitated in acting on it at the reminder that Itachi was her superior and calling him out felt wrong. Returning her eyes to the ramen, Sakura stirred the noodles absentmindedly, wishing more than anything that there was something she could say or do that could ease the weight in Itachi's heart. Of course, she knew deep down that there was nothing she could really do, however it didn't stop her from trying anyway.
"You should probably try anyway," she tried to tell him. "For the sake of your body, if nothing else."
Itachi surprised her by snorting, saying amusedly, "My body will be more thankful for denying it of ramen, considering the sodium intake."
Yeah, it wasn't the greatest and she often wondered how Naruto was even still alive with how much sodium he ingested on a daily basis. But then again, the guy was a weirdo who had always been so frustratingly different from the rest of them, so it was probably nothing to him.
"I can try and make you something–"
"Sakura-san," he cut her off gently, smiling. "I will be fine. Thank you, though. I appreciate the gesture."
Humming disbelievingly, Sakura glanced over to Shisui and frowned, wondering if he was going to intervene at any point, but considering the thoughtfulness in his expression as he focused entirely on the scrolls, she knew he probably wouldn't. Could he even hear them? If he could, then Shisui showed no signs of it.
Besides, she really wanted him to focus on the scrolls.
They were a full day away from Konoha, almost at the border between Fire and Oto, and the notion of being so close to the village where Sasuke was likely living had her itching to find something to distract herself with. Going into enemy territory while so lost in thought – something that always happened whenever she thought of Sasuke even under normal circumstances – was reckless. She had to push him out of her mind for the time being.
"Where are we meeting Naruto and Jiraiya-sama?" she asked to try and fill the silence.
Itachi reached forward to stoke the fire, eyes focused on the task until he belatedly realised Shisui was too captivated by his decoding to hear them. Huffing once with a smirk at his intense focus, Itachi reclined once more against the large tree trunk that had collapsed long before their arrival, meeting her gaze easily.
"Just before the border," he answered. Bringing one knee up, Itachi slung his arm over it, other leg outstretched towards the fire. "I am assuming they will both join us from that point, despite Jiraiya-sama originally only acting as a scout."
Yeah, she highly doubted that Naruto would simply watch them leave if he knew where they were going. Even if they weren't likely to come across Sasuke, the blond would rather be there just in case, and Sakura knew she could never take that chance away from him. Not when he'd made such a weighty promise of being the one to bring Sasuke home to everyone.
"I hope they do," she admitted sheepishly, unable to hide her smile.
"How long has it been since you last saw him?"
"Almost six months now," Sakura recalled with great ease. The pain of being left behind was still intense, so recalling the exact day Naruto left was ridiculously easy when it was burned into her mind. "He left a few days after getting out of the hospital."
It felt like a lifetime ago that she was standing in the rain and watching Naruto vent his frustrations after losing to Sasuke. She wondered how far into his training with Jiraiya he had gotten and whether it was noticeable. Did he still look like the same old idiot who could drive her insane just by looking at her? Was he more mature yet? Sakura inwardly scoffed with annoyance towards herself for asking for the impossible. That much change in just six months? Was she an idiot too?
In those six months, little had changed in regard to her abilities. She was faster now, Sakura supposed, and she was somewhat resilient to low level genjutsu, but in terms of ninjutsu there wasn't much to talk about. What would she respond with if Naruto asked if she'd learned anything that was as impressive as the Rasengan? Gods, she could just imagine it now. Him boasting about a level beyond the Rasengan or something along those lines, and her replying with something lame like… Like, "Me? I made it to my fourteenth birthday."
It was probably her only major achievement.
Sakura sighed dejectedly. Her appetite hadn't been all too great to begin with and now it was gone completely, leaving her to stare down at the cup of ramen with a turning stomach. The sight of the noodles that had soaked up the majority of the soup, leaving them fat and slimy, only made the turning worse.
"What is it?"
"I…" Smiling sheepishly, helplessly, because why she was inexplicably in such a pitiful mindset when there were more important things to worry about, Sakura kept her focus on the ramen. "I can't help but wonder how much stronger and far ahead of me he's gotten."
The contemplative silence following her admission had Sakura looking to Itachi and frowning, the sight of his distant gaze on the fire with its unsteady glow lighting up his features attractively captivated her until he finally met her eye, making her blush somewhat as he caught her staring so blatantly at him.
"We had a similar conversation that day in the rain before Naruto-kun left," Itachi recalled, apparently not seeing her embarrassment. "Do you remember what I told you?"
How could she not when Sakura had made his words her mantra at the start of each day?
"Give it time and give it your all," she murmured.
"It's easy comparing yourself to others and fixating on the differences between you but remember that everyone's circumstances are different." Settling further back into his makeshift seat against the tree trunk, Itachi returned his focus to the fire, adding quietly, "People are too hung up on what they can't do, that they don't see the impressiveness of what they can."
…Like Sasuke. That was where his mind was, wasn't it?
The smile sent her way after several long moments didn't ease her heartache – it added to it and left Sakura wondering when she would ever see Itachi's real smile again. Not the fake ones that were more for the sake of others, but the ones that actually reached his eyes.
She remembered seeing his real smile for first time back when he first took over for Kakashi and it followed Sasuke nailing a jutsu he'd struggled with for months beforehand. Itachi had looked so proud of his younger brother and so happy for him, and Sakura recalled standing there in awe of the emotions that shone so freely on his face for them all to see.
Why couldn't he see it?
"Just think back on all you couldn't do this time last year, that you can now. You are improving drastically, Sakura-san, both physically and mentally and it is impossible not to see."
Nodding silently in thanks, she turned her solemn gaze back to the cup of ramen.
Why couldn't Sasuke feel their love for him when it was so obvious?
"Well," Shisui said from his place across the fire, not even looking their way as he jotted something down in the scroll he was using as a decoder. "This one is going to take longer to decipher."
Biting back her instinctual whine of disappointment, she placed down her now cold ramen, asking, "Why?"
"As you saw for yourself with the first passage, your ancestor keeps switching between our clan's code and her own, but it wasn't impossible to understand given the overall tone and language used. This passage possesses more of the Haruno code. I've done what I can to decode what I recognise, but it's not enough to get a real read."
Why would she do that? Frowning, Sakura looked between the two men and took note of their pensive expressions as they considered the same question in their minds.
"It's a possibility that she was in the process of learning our clan's code," Itachi spoke up thoughtfully. "I imagine Uchiha Tajima ordered her to document the new era of the Haruno Clan."
"But with her being so young, it's possible she wasn't well-versed with the Haruno code," added Shisui, finally looking to them. Sighing, he told her apologetically, "Out here, I can't decipher it."
Just out there? "But… you can try?"
He nodded and offered a smile. "Once we're back in the village, we can investigate your family's history a little deeper and see if there are any vaults. It may hold valuable information."
"Have your parents ever mentioned anything regarding your family's history?"
Sakura sighed irritably much to their surprise, but they seemed to catch on instantly when she muttered, "No, nothing. Dad's always been really cryptic about our history." Then, capturing their attention once more, she said thoughtfully, "Although, he once said something strange about how choices were made for a reason. Looking back, it sounds pretty weird, right?"
Shisui sat up straighter and rolled up the three scrolls he kept in his possession, keeping all of them sealed with his chakra. To others, he no doubt seemed paranoid, but Sakura knew vaguely of the trouble he could get into for deciphering the Uchiha code for others. Even though they were technically her scrolls, it opened up the possibility of her deciphering the Uchiha scrolls too, which was bad enough. If her deciphered scrolls (or the decoder scroll he'd created to keep track of everything) fell into the wrong hands, then she knew all hell would break loose for him. The clans were all incredibly secretive of their practices and histories.
"Well, now I'm really curious," he muttered with a chuckle. "But that does tell us that there's possibly a decoder for your clan's code somewhere. Would your father be the patriarch?"
Grimacing, because she didn't really know, she said, "I think so. He's the eldest of my grandmother's children, anyway."
"Is your grandmother alive?"
She shook her head. "She died before I was born."
"Her possessions?" enquired Itachi curiously.
It took her several moments to think about it until Sakura grew frustrated and sighed, telling them apologetically, "I don't know. My dad's really weird about that kind of thing – I just assumed it was because he missed her."
"You might not be proud of our ancestry, but choices were made for a reason and I am honoured to possess the Haruno name."
What the hell was her father hiding from her?
A/N - Just going to leave this here because I know not everyone checks out my profile or knows it's been updated etc.
I've dropped to just one weekly update due to my mental health being shitty right now and not wanting to burn myself out with having twelve stories on-going (I know it says different below, but that's because Discoveries is a bit of a pain right now). The schedule:
Week 1: Ghost Inside My Chest (COMMISSION)
Week 2: Could Roses Bloom? (COMMISSION)
Week 3: The Shadows of Your Heart
Week 4: Dying Embers
Week 5: Then Our Hearts Combined
Week 6: So This is Love
Week 7: Unravelling Since I Found You (COMMISSION)
Week 8: But Still, I Rise (COMMISSION)
Week 9: Red String of Fate
Week 10: Mercy, Love & Other Useless Things (COMMISSION)
Week 11: Come Undone (COMMISSION)
Thank you all for supporting me and this story so far!