Chapter 7
"Hi Bobby!"
"Hi, Jason. How's your first day been with the baby?"
"Good." He answers, then realizes that back then he would've been more unsure. "Leaticia helped and…"
"Leaticia?"
"Oh, the nanny."
"Oh! Well that's good."
"Also…" Jason continues the thought he was trying to push into the conversation before Bobby interrupted.
"Carly's back."
"Oh!" Bobby looks surprised, then pleased. "That's good. If you can get her to hold him, it should ease her post-partum depression."
"She's holding him, as we speak. She's upstairs. I think she will be happy to see you." Jason offers as he turns heading towards the stairs.
"Not likely." Bobby scoffs.
"She has changed a lot, Bobby." Jason chooses her words carefully, "getting away from this time has given her better insight."
He stops just before reaching Michael's door.
"She's in there. That's the nursery. I have a quick phone call to make." Jason latches on to the excuse. He still needs to phone Filipo to call off the search for Carly. He also still needs to order a bed.
"Carly?" Bobby asks tentatively as she enters the room, somewhat expecting to be tossed out.
"Hi, M… Bobby." Carly greets her, somewhat reserved and smiling. In truth, she is nervous.
"Thanks for helping Jason while I was… away."
"Oh, no need to thank me… I'm just glad you're back and…" she gestures towards Carly, "holding him. It's so precious Carly, you have no reason to be scared. You're a mom now. You won't hurt him."
Carly smiles at her. She doesn't know how to answer. The looming revelation is sticking in her throat.
"Um, yeah, uh, thanks… I, um…" She gestures towards the reading bench in the corner.
"Do you want to sit down? I… um, I need to talk to you."
Bobby frowns, no doubt expecting some kind of attack. She sits down.
"Um, Bobby…" Carly starts. Then busies herself with Michael, moving his sleeping form from one arm to the other and fussing a bit with the blanket.
"Um, Bobby? Can I ask you a favor please?"
"Well…"
Carly continues before she can answer.
"I need to tell you something. And… and you are going to be really, like in really angry with me, as in want to throw me out the window type of angry, and I really need to ask you to hear me out. Please, just, let me tell you everything and then you can do and say whatever you want. I won't even fight back. Promise."
Bobby is staring at her, slack jawed.
"What else can this little tramp have done now?" she wonders to herself.
"Fine." She bites out, "But you need to remember what you said about fighting back."
"I'm just going to tell you the whole story, why I did what I did and… really once you know everything, I really have nothing to defend myself with because you will already know why I…"
Bobby crosses her arms, and sits back.
"Spit it out, Carly."
"Okay, um, see… I lied about my mother. She… she isn't dead. The woman who raised me, adopted me. She lives in Florida. Her name is… Virginia… Benson."
"What lies are you…." Bobby starts, looking shaken. Carly expected it, so she pushes on.
"I also lied about my name. My name is Caroline Benson."
Bobby is shaking her head.
"The PI you hired, to search for me, found me… and I paid him to tell you I died."
"Why would…" Carly bulldozes over her, knowing if she didn't push all of it out, she may not be able to.
"I did it because I was angry. In fact, I hated you, without ever even meeting you. I felt that you threw me away and I wanted to hurt you the way I thought you hurt me. So I came to Port Charles, under a false name, and that's also why I… did what I did… with Tony. I mean, that wasn't the plan, but when he started paying attention to me, and it suddenly felt like someone in the world could love me, I… used it as revenge and…" Carly ran out of words.
Not knowing how to continue she finishes, lamely.
"I'm your daughter… and I'm sorry… and I was a total brat about."
Carly has been staring at the carpet while she spoke. She dares a look toward Bobby as a movement catches her eye.
Bobby is as white as a sheet, anger is rolling off her in waves, and tears of shock and pain is slowly pooling in her eyes, spilling over. She is shaking with the force of her rage.
"Bobby? Mom?" Carly asks in a small voice, contemplating putting Michael down in his crib to be able to reach out to the other woman. Holding him in her arms through out the conversation was for her to feel safe and connected and somewhat shielded during her confession, but now, she needs her hands free. Holding him feels like an obstacle to her reaching out. She makes a move to get up and put him down, but stops as Bobby's words fall between them.
"Don't ever call me that!" Bobby whispers, her voice hoarse, "How… How… You…" Bobby gives up, before sweeping out of the room.
Carly sits back, tears running down her cheeks, dripping on her hands. She cradles Michael to her.
"That actually went better than the first time around." She mutters, wishing the words could make her feel better. She knows Bobby forgave her. She knows she should give it time, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. And she can't help the nagging irrational fear that Bobby won't forgive her this time.
She had gotten used to knowing a mother's love.
Just as Jason is hanging up the phone, he hears a loud banging as Bobby comes pounding downstairs.
Seeing her reaction, he steps forward.
"Bobby?"
She rounds on him.
"Did you know?"
"I… Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
Jason can't help the creepy feeling of déjà vu crawling up his neck.
"It wasn't my news to tell."
Bobby scoffs, shaking her head.
"For someone who cannot lie, you're really good at it!" she spits at him.
"I'll phone you with a number of a private nurse, I can't…" she shakes her head, leaving the rest of the sentence hanging, then heads to the door, leaving without a single word.
As soon as the door closes, Jason turns to head upstairs.
This situation has him worried. He knows Carly. Through the years, having a mother's love, having him always by her side as back-up and having built up her confidence and caring less what other people think, has matured Carly. It made it so that her crazy plans only involved keeping the people she loved safe. She learned not to lash out because she can, to not go into self destructive mode when something small feels like her life is imploding. But, being back here, Jason can't help but worry that all that progress will fade and Carly, and her fear of rejection, could manifest in her old self destructive behavior again.
He stops short of the nursery as he hears her speaking, sniffing and crying in between.
"That was your grandma, Michael, and she loves you. And I have to believe that she will love me too, eventually. You know, Jason is always right, even when it looks like he's not. I have to remember that. He's all I have right now, Mister-man."
He sighs with relief. He will keep reminding her. Both of their futures depend on Carly not going rogue.
When he enters the nursery, Carly is bending over the crib, ensuring that Michael is snug before straightening and turning to him.
Without any words, he opens his arms, and she walks into their safe haven, burying her face into his chest as she cries.
As the elevator doors open, Carly steps out into the foyer, heading towards the penthouse, balancing the 2 pizzas she went out to go and buy, on one hand.
The door opens before she reaches it, Bennie in the doorway, turning back towards the inside.
"I'll get right on that." He answers, then turns, spots her and nods as he passes.
"Miss. Roberts."
Carly heads in, Johnny closing the door behind her.
"It's eary how much the town has changed. I never really noticed through the years." She announces as she heads to the couch, putting the pizzas on the coffee table, finding the cheese one, and then proceeding to dig in. She looks over at Jason who hasn't yet answered or made any indication that he heard her. He is scribbling something on a note pad. When he is done, he looks up at her, then heads to the couch, grabbing his own pizza.
"Jason?" Carly asks, as he is still quiet.
"I'm not sure how I'm going to get Sonny back here."
Carly frowns.
"What do you mean?"
"Last time, I left the business, for Robin. Things got unstable, Merino tried to take over, it was a situation I made, but I pulled Sonny back in to help, remember?"
"Right, and this time, you'll be keeping the territory stable."
"The way I see it…" Jason goes quiet, "Carly, can you give me 2 years?"
"What do you mean?" Carly is momentarily confused. Jason doesn't often leave a thought undone before pivoting to a new topic.
"I've spent a lot of time thinking, about the past. I don't do that often, you know that. I don't ever think, what if I could change this or that… but now, I don't have a choice. I have already changed things."
"For the better, I told you back then not to trust Robin." Carly smiles, self satisfied while taking another bite of pizza.
Jason just glares at her, that in turn makes her broaden her smile even more.
"Point is, back then the family lawyer said after 2 years the parentage cannot be disputed anymore, so if we can keep a united front till the end of 1999, Michael is safe."
"Okay." Carly shrugs.
"Carly."
"What?"
"What I'm saying is, maybe we should wait to bring Sonny back here until then."
Carly is quiet. How can he even suggest that? Sonny is the reason they went to Cassadine island in the first place.
"I miss him, Jase, I want to see him."
Jason sighs, rubs over his face.
"I know. I miss him too, which is why I was thinking, maybe we can arrange to go visit him, but not yet, first I think we need to figure out how we are going to get Virginia back in your life. At least we know Sonny is… alive. And isn't in any danger as long as we don't call attention to him for a while. The five families don't know we are still in contact."
He looks over at Carly when he doesn't get the expected argument.
She is staring off into space, thinking. Getting hasty could actually put Sonny in danger, again. She imagines going to Puerto Rico and seeing him again for the first time since, well, in her world, since he died. Then it suddenly dawns on her, that reunion she had with Jason when she thought he had died, that won't happen with Sonny. This isn't her Sonny.
"I miss Sonny." Carly answers him in a small, little-girl-lost voice, " I miss my Sonny, Jason, and the Sonny that is here, he doesn't know me, at all, I don't think we've even met." She frowns as she tries to remember if she had ever had any interaction with him, even just perhaps helping him at the hospital at the nurse's station or anything, prior to Jason fetching him when the shooting on Mac went down, and Jason had her pack up her, his and Robin's things to come back to the penthouse.
She shrugs as she comes up empty.
"You know what is strange?"
"What?" Jason asks.
"I can live with knowing that he may never be my Sonny, the one I remember, but if I came back here, and you were young-you…" she leaves the sentence hanging, then shakes her head, clearing the expression of horror on her face.
Jason sighs.
"I know. I get it."
One day Sam will come to town, and she won't be his Sam, and he can live with that. He'll get to know her again, as she is then. If young-Carly was sitting here next to him, he would grief his Carly every time young-Carly opened her mouth.
They're both quiet for a while, then Carly speaks again.
"Do you know what scares me Jason?"
He looks over at her, sitting back, done eating.
"What if I'm so different that Sonny from now and me can't make things work?"
Jason quirks an eyebrow, as if to say, "Really?"
"I know it sounds stupid, but what scares me is…" Carly stares up at the stairs, "What if I never have a chance to… Morgan. I have a chance to save him, but not if… he never exists."
Jason is silent. He had not even thought that far. He is very certain that Morgan won't be an issue, but can he watch her go through the whole Jax thing again, would she even be able to? Without doing something about Jerry, just to have Josslyn? Then again, Jerry won't be breathing at that point. He would make sure of that. What if they change things so much that…? Would he be able to… Jake? He doesn't reflect much on feelings, but in all honesty, with where he came from and have lived, he can't see himself cultivating some sort of relationship with Elizabeth again. It's the same like with Robin. He can't fake that kind of intimacy, especially not on a timeline that requires making the exact same kid at the exact same time…
He sighs, and rubs over his face.
"Carly…." He pauses, trying to find some kind of words of encouragement despite his own fears. He has nothing.
"I'm sure you and Sonny will find a way. I don't think you have to worry about Morgan, but then there is Josslyn… and… and Jake. I don't know. We still have time to figure it out."
"We can steal Elizabeth's eggs and I'll carry Jake." Carly jokes, laughing, she stops when Jason just stares at her.
"I'm joking Jase."
She starts feeling uncomfortable when he keeps staring. She can see his brain going at a mile a minute.
"Jase?"
"No you're not." He answers, "You just gave us a plan B. Eggs, sperm, anything is possible with technology. When the time comes, and it doesn't look like we will be able to get the timing right with whoever, we have a plan B." Jason actually looks relieved.
Carly starts smiling.
"You mean like, the pressure is off, we can try and make it happen but if it doesn't work out… "
"Yes."
"Good." Carly pauses, "I actually do really feel better now." She sounds surprised.
With some of their biggest fears laid to rest, they spend the rest of the evening planning a trip to Florida and working out where they can find a place for Virginia in Port Charles. Carly is adamant that Virginia will be a part of their lives. Perhaps she will still go from a stroke, perhaps with less stress, she will be around longer, but either way, Virginia will have the love of the daughter she fought for her entire life.