Thanks for all the kind words everyone! It really means a lot. I mainly write this for my own enjoyment but it's nice to see that other people like it too. Enjoy!
"It's Christmas in two days," Misty breathed beside her. May had been daydreaming about the valley again. It had now been a week since Ash had taken them there. He'd stayed quiet for the rest of that day. He could probably sense her mood had changed too. Since then she'd done the usual- brought him breakfast whenever he wanted it in his room, cleaned for him, and talked to him. It wasn't getting any easier. She was starting to think he really considered her his friend. A ridiculous notion.
"Christmas sucks," Drew chimed in from beside her. "Too much work."
Serena threw her long blonde hair over her head and tied it in a bun atop her hair, then pulled out a giant red bow from the pocket of her dress and slipped it over the front of her head. "How's this? Do I look a little more festive this way?"
"You look lovely." May beamed at her. It was two days before Christmas, and she wasn't home with her family. It'd be the first Christmas she spent alone. She wouldn't be alone, not really, but she'd feel it. These friends that she'd made weren't real, and she had to keep reminding herself of that. She had to keep reminding herself that someday soon this life would disappear.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Dinner was almost over. She knew she had to go back to his rooms after this. She'd deliberately stayed the whole time, even though she'd finished eating over half an hour ago. Her friends started to say their goodbyes and head off, and she followed suit.
The moment she stepped outside, noise from outside grabbed her attention. She paused and listened to the sounds of a lady shouting, getting closer.
"It's not fair," she cried. She came into view. A tall, black haired girl wearing an over-the-top dress, and her maid, following behind with a panicked look on her face. "I thought everyone was supposed to get a fair chance to present themselves, and yet he spends all of his time with that bitch."
"My lady, perhaps you should keep your voice down-"
"Since when do I take orders from you?" The lady hissed down at her. May began walking to keep up with them. They were heading the way she needed to go anyway. They were a few metres ahead, and hadn't even noticed her.
"I'm sorry, my lady."
"I know for a fact I'd make an excellent queen. Don't you think?" She didn't even give her maid time to answer. "I would be. She's too… ditzy."
"You'd be a wonderful ruler, my lady."
"If he picks her…" she trailed off, and they rounded a corner away from May. "I'll have to do something about it."
May paused at the intersection. They were talking about Ash, and presumably Dawn. She hadn't been sure who he'd been going to see when he left almost every evening, but she'd guessed it was Dawn. It was only a matter of time before he picked her. She wanted to be gone before then. She was already struggling to stay here. She didn't know if she could cope with hearing the news. Once she rode off back to her country she'd be able to forget about him. Maybe.
She carried on the rest of the way to his room. When she arrived, the guard informed her that he'd gone out for the evening. She hid her disappointment well and decided to retire to her room. She couldn't let herself imagine what he was doing with Dawn. The thoughts would drive her insane. It was not her place to wonder anyway.
She lay in bed and closed her eyes tight shut, trying to push away all the intrusive thoughts that fought to take centre stage, flicking over one another like annoying flies. She didn't realise she'd fallen asleep until she woke to the feeling of being watched suddenly, and shot up in bed. Her window was wide open, and standing at the foot of her bed was her partner.
She sighed in relief and moved to sit on the side of her bed. "You don't have to be so creepy," she whispered. "You're freaking me out."
"Sorry," he said emotionlessly. "The boss is pleased you managed to take out the target without being caught. He's even more impressed that you took another one out for fun."
"That wasn't-" she started to argue, then realised it was pointless. "Am I to go home now?"
He shook his head, and she felt a heavy weight settle in her stomach. "Please," she said, hating how weak she sounded. "I've been here for so long already. I can't get any information. I've taken out a target. What else can I possibly do here?"
"You seem to have gotten pretty close with the prince. You have to try to create a rift between him and the king. Use the engagement."
She wasn't sure she understood. They wanted her to put words into his head, and make him hate his own father? Maybe they were becoming sort of friends, or at least he didn't mind her company, but she didn't have that much of a hold on him. Perhaps if she failed, they'd let her go home, so she nodded.
"When we give the signal, you'll have your final job to do here."
May scrunched her face up. "What signal? And what job?"
"You'll know when the time comes."
"What job?" She pushed, standing to face him. She couldn't see his expression under the mask. She did her best to hold the long eye contact, so he knew she wasn't going to back down until he told her. Then, he did.
"Killing the prince, and the king."
May had spent the entire next day in bed. When the prince had called for her she'd lied, saying she was sick. She knew he wouldn't make a fuss about it. When he tried to visit her, she sent him away.
She'd fought back when her partner had told her their plans for her. She'd tried not to show she now had emotional involvement, but it must have been evident. He'd given her an ultimatum- obey the orders, or be hunted down for the rest of her life. She'd never be welcome home again. As soon as he'd left she'd panicked, crying, and had thrown the chair in her room into the wall. The guard outside her room had come in to check what the commotion was and she hadn't cared. He'd wrestled with her to calm her down and held her down until she settled.
Now, as she lay in bed on Christmas morning, she wondered if the guard had reported what she'd done to the prince. She didn't even have the strength to be embarrassed. She tried over and over again to convince herself that this was just any other job she'd done. They had told her to wait for the signal, so all she had to do now was wait. It was her only option. If she disobeyed them, she'd never see her family again. She was being stupid, she told herself, and shut her emotions off.
She'd been awake for at least an hour but hadn't risen yet. Only a knock at the door made her stir. She barely had time to sit up before the door swung open and Ash entered, not waiting for permission. She quickly pulled the bedsheets up past her chest, knowing her nightdress was fairly revealing, and stared over at him. He had something in his hand, but she couldn't see what.
"Are you feeling better today?" He asked. She shook her head, shrinking back under the covers more. He sighed. "That's a shame. It's Christmas. Speaking of-" He approached her and held out a small box, wrapped messily. She hesitated to take it, but reached out for it anyway, letting the covers slip down to her stomach. Ash turned away and cleared his throat. Her hands shook as she looked back up at him.
"What is it?"
"Well, you're supposed to open it, duh," he said jokingly, but he seemed nervous. She blinked down at the box. Was this a gift from him? She carefully pulled the paper off and opened the box. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the beauty of the necklace that sat neatly in the centre. The silver chain was lovely but the real star was the pendant hanging from it- a ruby, and a big one too, shaped like a teardrop. Nobody had ever bought her anything like it before. She wasn't even sure how to react.
"T-This is for me?" She said dumbly, looking up at him. He crossed his arms over his chest and still wouldn't look at her. Maybe the nightdress was embarrassing him.
"Of course. I still needed to thank you."
"I can't accept this," she said, still in awe. "You didn't need to get me anything."
"Oh," he said, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "There's more, outside, if you're well enough."
More? What did he mean by that? She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and picked the necklace out of the box. She reached behind her neck, struggling with the clasp until he wordlessly walked over and took it gently from her, clasping it for her. No matter how hard she tried it was impossible to ignore the feeling of his fingers brushing against the back of her neck. It was impossible to ignore how intimate the whole situation felt.
"I'll wait outside for you."
He left her sitting there. She stood and looked at herself in the mirror. The ruby hung heavy in the centre of her chest. How would she explain it if anyone asked where it was from? Sighing, she grabbed her uniform and started to dress. If nothing else, it showed how comfortable he was with her. It made her job easier.
She joined him in the corridor and followed him outside into the grounds. In an attempt to ease the tension, she tried to make conversation.
"Do you have any leads on the poisoning?"
He shook his head, a grave look passing over his face. "Unfortunately not."
"I heard a lady talking about you the other day," she said, unsure of what else she could say.
"Oh? Which one?" He asked.
"She had black hair, but I'm not sure what her name is. She said she liked you."
He scowled at the mention of her, so May figured he knew she was awful too. They carried on in silence until May realised they were approaching the stables. Was he taking her out again? She wasn't sure she could handle being shoved on the back of a horse with him again. He gestured to the stable boy, who rushed inside, and then returned a moment later, reins in his hands, and-
May froze. He led out a beautiful snow white mare and handed the reins over to Ash, who looked down at her proudly. Entirely in awe, she couldn't even register what was happening to her as Ash held out the reins for her.
"She's yours," he said. Then he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Merry Christmas."
May took the reins and reached up to rub the horse's nose. It let her. "You…" She shook her head. "You're crazy."
He laughed. "I take it you like her, then."
"I love her," she answered honestly. The situation overwhelmed her with guilt. When she left, would she take the horse, or would she be too painful a reminder of what she'd done here? How was she possibly going to kill someone who'd been so kind to her? Without realising she'd started, May was crying, the tears streaming silently down her cheeks. Ash's face dropped.
"Are you alright?" He asked. She nodded and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand.
"Yes, sorry. I just really like her," she lied. Ash beamed down at her, and she wanted to jump on the back of the horse, ride away and never look back.
"Your Highness," someone called out. Ash turned, and May continued to pet the horse. "The king is asking for you, Your Highness."
Ash sighed, and gestured for the stable boy to collect the horse. "I'll see you after breakfast, if you feel well enough. Don't worry if not."
He was gone before she could reply. She let the stable boy take the horse's reins from her and headed back to the castle on her own. She was the first one in the dining hall, but it wasn't long until Misty and Serena arrived together. They flew over to the table and set down their food.
"Merry Christmas!" They both shouted.
"Merry Christmas." May smiled at both of them, and when she opened her eyes again, noticed both of them were staring at her chest. She blushed for a moment until she remembered the necklace, then swallowed hard.
"Is that real?" Misty asked. May nodded awkwardly. She wasn't sure what to say.
"Um... It was a present."
"May," Serena started, staring at her hard. "Did the prince get that for you?"
They both waited in still silence for her answer. After a moment she sighed and nodded. Misty gasped. "He's in love with you?"
May's face heated. "Shut up," she said defensively. "It's just to thank me for saving him, I think."
"No way," Misty said, raising an eyebrow. "A ruby the size of that? He's in love with you."
Dismissing her cruel joke, she continued. "There's more. He got me a horse, too."
"May," Serena started again, her tone serious. "Are you sleeping with him?"
May choked on air. "What?!"
"Well I'm only asking." She crossed her arms. "That's what people will think."
May blushed hard. She'd thought the same thing. She hoped nobody would mistreat her for it. There was no way Ash would do that. He was too… loyal. Whoever he picked as his wife, he'd stick by them, even if he had no true feelings for her. From what she'd gathered, he liked Dawn anyway. It was only a matter of time until they announced it publicly. He was probably sleeping with her instead.
She ate the rest of her meal, only speaking to answer the questions her friends pestered her with. Once she was done she dismissed herself, wanting to be gone before Drew arrived. She couldn't handle the same questions again from him. Once was embarrassing enough. She considered taking the necklace off and putting it in her pocket, but she liked it too much.
She took herself to Ash's room. She knocked, and he called her in. She kept her head down as she usually did when she entered, and when she looked up, she was greeted by Dawn's smile. Her heart sank into her stomach. Dawn looked beautiful in her yellow dress. Her hair was half up and half down, with little yellow flowers woven through it.
"My lady," she said, bowing a little. She bowed to Ash, too, though she usually didn't.
Ash sat at his desk, rubbing his temples. Dawn was standing by the doors out onto his balcony, watching the snow that had just started outside.
"I meant to tell you, May, that I'll be gone for a while. I was going to tell you yesterday."
She caught Dawn looking at the pendant on her chest and swallowed hard. She wished she'd taken it off. She wondered if Ash would be angry at her for wearing it in here. "A while?"
"About a month," he replied. She froze. A month? What was she going to do for a month? A lump formed in her throat.
"Shouldn't I come with you?" She tried, hoping she didn't sound desperate or needy. He looked over at her, then glanced quickly at Dawn. She worried for a moment that she'd said something wrong. She wasn't entirely sure what was going on here.
"I wanted to take you with me," he said, and his answer made her face warm. She looked to Dawn, but she seemed entirely unbothered. "You have to stay here, though."
Her heart hurt when she thought about being away from him for a month, and she cursed herself silently. Maybe it was just what she needed, no matter how much she hated it. Remembering the engagement situation, she had to ask.
"What about the ladies waiting here for you?"
A heavy silence settled over the room. Ash seemed to contemplate whether he should give her an answer or not. Dawn turned her head to face him, her hair swaying over her shoulders. She already seemed like a queen standing there.
"They'll be leaving too," he said eventually. "We're announcing the engagement later."
May's stomach turned heavily. Oh. Oh. Her knees threatened to buckle beneath her as she forced herself to smile and mumble congratulations. She hoped he wouldn't notice her chest heaving as she struggled to fight off the tears. She felt so stupid. This had always been coming, and yet it stung worse than anything else she'd ever felt. She didn't understand. Why did she have to feel this way? Suddenly the diamond ring on Dawn's finger stood out. How hadn't she noticed that before?
"Do you need me to do anything before you leave?" She asked, fighting to keep her voice steady, hoping he'd send her away before she exploded. She could have sworn she saw guilt on his face as he shook his head and refused to look at her.
"Listen," he said, and stood suddenly, pacing across towards her. Every step he took made breathing harder. He reached down and gently put his hand on her cheek, turning her world upside down. She opened her mouth to speak, but words were lost to her. She quickly glanced at Dawn, but she still seemed unbothered.
"Wh-"
The door opened quickly and Ash tore his hand quickly away from her like she'd burned him, taking a step back. She stood shaking as Ash greeted Gary as if nothing had happened. She knew there had to be an explanation for his actions, but she was so lost. She'd be expected to stay with them, but she couldn't handle listening to Gary congratulate Ash with such genuine joy. While they were distracted by each other she quietly slipped out.
She knew who she needed to speak to. She walked without stopping until she reached Serena's room. Serena had her own burdens to bear, but she was the only one she could share this with. She knocked, and didn't wait for an answer before entering. Luckily, Serena was actually there, folding her clothes. She looked up as May entered, and instantly dropped what she was doing. May let the tears she'd forced back free finally as the blonde girl pulled her into a hug.
"What's happened?" She asked gently over her shoulder. May couldn't get her words out between choking sobs. Serena let her cry onto her loudly until she calmed slightly.
"Everything's happening so fast," she managed to say finally. Serena pulled away to hold her at arm's length. "I- They-"
"Calm down." Serena coaxed her over to the bed, where they sat down together on the edge and May took a deep breath. It did nothing to calm her. She almost felt as though she could do nothing but watch her own world fall apart.
"He's engaged now."
Serena sighed, understanding instantly. She'd considered telling her about the murder she was expected to commit too, but had decided against it. Maybe asking her to keep that a secret was overestimating their friendship. "What happens if you leave?"
"They'll kill me." She shook her head. "And they really mean it. They'll make my life hell."
"You love him, don't you?" she asked quietly. The words went right through May. It would make it too real to admit it, so she chose to stay silent, not denying it instead. She had figured as much when the news of his engagement made her feel like the earth was tilting beneath her feet. She'd never loved anyone before. She didn't understand why it had to be him, if that's what it was.
"Hmm. Well I only have two ideas, and neither of them are very good." Serena paused, and May nodded for her to go on. "You could either deliberately get yourself fired, or… You could tell him."
"Tell him what?"
"About you. Who you really are."
May's stomach turned at the thought. "I don't… That's crazy."
"Is it?" Serena asked, a sparkle in her eyes. It was. She wasn't sure what Serena was thinking even suggesting that. Ash would hand her over right away and she'd be killed, surely. She wasn't even sure he considered her a friend, never mind someone he'd forgive for killing his people.
"I'm gonna go for a walk," May said, standing.
"It's freezing. Take this." Serena reached for her wardrobe and pulled out a cute fur coat. May took it from her and pulled it over her shoulders. It was warm.
"Thank you. For listening, too."
"I hope it works out for you, May."
She sighed. "Me too."
May sat on the edge of the fountain. She'd wandered until she'd reached the maze, an area she'd never explored before. She'd followed it for what seemed like an hour until she'd reached the middle. The snow was melting underneath her and seeping through her coat, but she didn't care. She sighed, watching her breath form a cloud in front of her. Even Serena's coat couldn't keep her warm in this weather.
She fingered the pendant, twisting it around in her fingers. She thought about her brother, and wondered whether he was okay. Being a young teenager, he was usually more annoying than anything else, but the distance reminded her how much she appreciated her family, and she missed him. She missed the way he always checked if she was okay when she got back from a job. She missed him teasing her relentlessly about getting a boyfriend.
The scar on her inner thigh burned when the water touched it. She was sure she was imagining it and pulled her skirt further down, making sure it was covered. There was no one else around anyway. She'd come up with a story to explain it if someone questioned her, but she hated even acknowledging it.
Suddenly, she heard a commotion in the distance. Men, shouting over one another and their boots on the ground. She stood, shaking the snow from herself, and headed back, somehow remembering the way she'd come through the maze. Once she reached the grounds she could see them by the stables, gearing up their horses. She saw Ash there, laughing with Gary, leading his horse out. He was leaving. She hadn't said goodbye because she'd been too busy sulking about the engagement.
She didn't get any closer, just watched from a distance as he jumped up onto his horse and his guards followed suit. They began to move and, just as he reached the bridge he turned, almost as if he'd sensed her standing there. Their eyes locked onto one another, and he smiled, throwing a hand up in goodbye. She couldn't help but smile and wave back as she watched him disappear.
She spent her next days working and observing the engagement celebrations from a distance. Even without Ash there, the palace was alive and abuzz with excitement. Dawn had stayed along with her father. Nobody knew how long it would be until the wedding, but supposedly the planning could take a long time. It would be the biggest event to take place in the country for a long, long time.
She missed him, but every day got a little easier. On the fifth day, once she was relieved from her duties, she wandered to his room instead of her own. Silver was still dining with the king, and his guards were with him, so the hallway was empty. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a hairpin. Lockpicking was easy enough for her. She was inside seconds later, closing the door slowly behind her.
She had to convince herself that she could still do this. Frozen, she stared across the expanse of his room, the silence bearing down on her. She pushed herself forward until she was standing over his desk. She knelt down to check the lock on the drawer. She wasn't sure if she could pick such a small lock. Anything worth finding would be in there.
She couldn't help feeling guilty as she pushed the pin into the hole and sucked in a breath, twisting it then reaching for a second pin. She flicked up her bent pin and heard the familiar click. She repeated it until she felt the click. She held her breath as she pulled the pin out, and-
The door swung open and May was standing at once. Dawn stood in the doorway, her face flushed as she noticed May, as if she was the one that had been caught. May's heart sank as Dawn entered and closed the door behind her. She knew she was going to be in serious trouble.
"I was just cleaning for him," she lied. Dawn, somehow, didn't seem bothered that she was in there after all. Perhaps she thought Ash had given her permission to be in his room while he was away. Dawn reached down for a photograph that May had never noticed before and stared fondly down at it.
"I'm not supposed to be in here," she said in a hushed tone. "But I just found myself here."
Unsure of what to do or say, May reached for the pins and pocketed them while Dawn's attention was elsewhere, then circled around the desk, approaching the lady to see what the photograph was of. It was grainy, and black and white, like all photographs, but she could tell that it was Ash in the photo. He couldn't have been any older than seven, and Dawn was beside him, holding a giant bunch of roses proudly.
"He picked them for me," she said, though May wasn't sure if she was speaking to herself or not. "He got in so much trouble for ruining the rose bushes. I was just so happy to be given them."
"That's really sweet," she replied. She meant it. She felt the guilt creeping back in. She shouldn't be sneaking around his rooms when he trusted her, but she was. She shouldn't be jealous of Dawn, but she was.
"He's really fond of you," Dawn said suddenly. May blinked over at her. "He talks about you to me."
May shook her head, embarrassed. "I'm only a maid."
"Maybe." Dawn grinned at her. How was she so nice too? "But he told me you're not like the others. He says he can tell you don't want to be around for the money or gossip. He says you're the only one that doesn't look at him like he's god just because he's a prince."
She had no idea he saw her that way. He had no idea that the reason she acted that way with him was because, technically, he wasn't her prince. "I'm not sure that's a compliment," she said back. Dawn shrugged.
"I think it is."
"You've been friends for a long time then, huh?" she asked. Dawn put the photograph back where she found it.
"We were born around the same time, and our fathers were close friends. They used to set us up on play dates. We hated each other at first. I used to throw things at him, and he used to pull my hair. After a while they actually gave up on it, until we came across each other again when we were around this age," she gestured to the photo, "and we got along great."
It was almost a perfect romance story, and it made May's heart hurt like hell. It was the kind of romance you would expect for a prince. It was the sort of romance anyone would want. Dawn was speaking about him with such a fondness that she couldn't even bring herself to hate her. She was nice, and Ash was nice, and she was sure they were nice together.
"Everyone here is so nice," she said sweetly, trying to hide the fact that she was holding back tears. Her voice cracked a little. "And you two seem really sweet together."
Dawn grinned sheepishly at that, and rubbed her hand on the back of her head. She seemed to consider saying something for a moment but stopped herself, and settled for "thank you." Dawn must have really trusted Ash for her to be able to tell May how fond Ash was of her without being overcome with jealousy or suspicion. She wished she were a good person like that. Instead she was sneaking around the room of someone that had been nothing but good to her, and that she had no reason to believe was the way she'd been told her whole life after all.
"Ash told me you have a boyfriend," she said next. May stared at her, gobsmacked.
"I don't have a boyfriend."
Dawn's face twisted. "Oh." She turned away, and made to sit on his bed. "He seems to think you do, and that you're hiding it from him."
"Why would I do that?"
She shrugged. She ran her hands over the top of his sheets like she was thinking about getting in. May wondered how bored she must have to be to be sitting here talking to her. If she didn't leave, May would have to leave empty handed again.
"Do you want to take a walk?" Dawn asked. "It's alright if you're too busy."
May shook her head. "I'm not busy." She did secretly want to walk with Dawn. Despite herself, she couldn't dislike her. Dawn was just too kind and perfect. The necklace that Ash had bought her that time in town gleamed on her chest. Dawn had grinned at that and then looped her arm around May's as though they were the best of friends and led her out to the gardens. On the way, Serena had spotted them, and gave May a strange look, but May only gave her the same look back. Dawn walked her around the gardens and didn't seem to get cold. At least it wasn't snowing. May tried once to ask about the wedding, but Dawn seemed to close herself off like she didn't want to answer, so she didn't try again. She really shouldn't have asked in the first place.