VII

Where was my fault in loving you with my whole heart?

He should've seen it coming but, after realizing he loves Julie he's not been able to think about anything else.

It's been four days, sixteen hours and some minutes since he realized that he loves her and he hasn't seen her because he doesn't know what he'll do when they see each other again. So he's been burying himself with work and taking time to check that everything is going fine with the souls and the other gods. He does such a great job focusing on his chores and avoiding thinking about Julie, that when he comes face to face with an unexpected surprise he feels as if he'd been slapped in the cheek. How fucked up it is that that's what he feels when he sees his parents?

"Hades." Is the way his father greets him. He has to use all of his strength to keep himself from saying that he doesn't go by that name anymore. It won't do him any good, if his parents are here it's better to just play along until they leave him alone and he wants that to happen as fast as possible.

"It's nice to see you're in the underworld and performing your duties." That's the first thing his mother decides to say to him after decades of silence, great. The worst part is that he knows it's bound to go downhill from there.

His relationship with his parents has never been good, especially after he decided to ditch his obligations from time to time and indulge in the human world. After they discovered their son's mischiefs and realized there was nothing they could do to keep him from leaving his obligations their relationship became downright horrible and both parties started going longer periods without seeing each other. He personally wouldn't mind not seeing them again for another millennia but here they are and there's nothing he can do to avoid them. So, he wordlessly leads them to a chamber he designated to be his 'office' a.k.a the place where he's apparently capable of having a human headache and eventually uses to accommodate the eventual god who ventures down there.

He lets them get comfortable in their seats, simply waiting for them to speak but they don't do it right away, which gets on his nerves. He was right about something when he realized that place was one of the main sources of his discomfort.

"Well, you tell me what brought you here." He crosses his arms, still waiting for them but his parents still answer him with silence and so, before he loses what little patience he has, he excuses himself from the room and goes to look for some nectar and ambrosia, thinking that maybe when he goes back they'll be ready to speak or, better yet, left the place without saying goodbye.

A god can dream, okay?

He puts the tray on the table without much care and takes his seat, wordlessly letting them know he's not going to have more patience with them. That apparently does the trick and his father speaks.

"We came to see you because it has reached our ears that apparently you've been… For lack of a better word, dating a human girl." He explains in a calm manner, using the voice he resorts to when sharing the prophetic wisdom he's known for.

After hearing his father, Luke maintains a stoic front and tries to hide what he's experiencing. There was annoyance at his parents presence but now that they finally revealed the reason they visited he feels confused and angry. Why do they know about Julie and, more importantly, why do they care? He gets that he should take the opportunity of two more voices joining the chant for him to leave her but he hates doing what his parents want, especially because he doesn't understand the why of it all and he's not going to ask mostly because he knows they won't tell him.

"We need you to stop that immediately. It's one thing that you choose to delegate your responsibilities and take off regularly to go and interact with humans but another one is to actually pursue that human girl. You need to drop this, Hades." He looks at her mother and although he's enraged about her attempt to make him desist he can't help but to be himself and try to stir the conversation elsewhere. He's not sure where this enjoyable chat is going and doesn't like the idea of walking in the dark, so he shares nothing. They do not get to know anything about him and Julie.

"After all these years you really think you can bend me to your will mother? I thought you were supposed to know better than this." When he says he's not evil or vicious he's right, but when it comes to his parents… Inwardly he sighs because he wishes it wasn't like this but the three of them are immortal beings and they are too stubborn and know how to hold grudges. He wishes he could love them or at least tolerate them, but that bridge burned eons ago. "Aren't you supposed to be a font of knowledge? Then you must already know this one: I won't do it."

"This isn't a request, it's an order son." Says his father taking over after his mother failed to get him to understand. "You will do as we are telling you, it's not up for discussion."

"I thought you guys knew this already but there's no changing my mind. Especially not about her." He remains strong in his position yet he can't help but wonder why he's entertaining them. He could leave or could make them leave… He guesses there is still an ounce of respect for them. How long will it last? He's unsure.

"Look, we know you're unhappy here and you blame us. You can do that if you want but Luke…" He can't help but to break his facade at the sound of his chosen name. They have never used it and he guesses his mother is only using it to manipulate him. "You need to stop whatever relationship you have with Julie Molina. We know you think badly of us but this is us trying to warn you not to go down that road. She's not for you."

That hurts him because, once again he's reminded him that his relationship with Julie is wrong. Reggie and Alex at least did it with care, unlike his parents who are supposed to love him the most and yet they just go to his kingdom and start making (very reasonable) demands without giving him an explanation. He stays silent because he knows he'll end it and they'll get what they want, he's just trying to buy himself some time, but they don't need to know that.

Suddenly, he realizes this little reunion has lasted too long and it has been more intense than he expected. He stands from his seat and looks at them in the eyes, "Everything in the Underworld is in order so if there's nothing else… Mitch, Emily." He says with a smile mostly to mask his rage and anger by annoying them with the names he and his friends baptized them once they swapped theirs for human ones. Even in his state he takes pleasure in seeing the disgust in his parents faces. "Can't say I loved this family meeting so please let's not do this for another century or two. Heck, let's try and not this ever again, how about that?" He doesn't stay to hear their answer, he just rushes past them to go to his room to change his clothes and go to the only place he wants to be right now: Julie's arms.

While he changes outfits he wonders what would've happened if his parents had participated in the Titanomachy alongside the rest of the Titans. He knows they would've ended up taking residence in the Tartarus, just like everyone who confronted and were eventually defeated by the gods, but he wonders if he'd still exist. Maybe it would've been better that way; better for them because they wouldn't have a son who is a huge disappointment and better for him because that way he wouldn't exist and he's sure everyone wins at that outcome.

But alas, Coeus and Phoebe didn't participate in the war and after he was born the gods decided to praise them, for not only turning their backs on their siblings but also supporting the gods with knowledge and prophetic wisdom about the war, and so the son of Coeus and Phoebe, two key players for the gods in the war, was bestowed with the Underworld.

They had been overcome with emotion, his son Hades the king of the Underworld, what an honor.

"What a piece of shit!" Luke thinks for the hundredth time while he leaves the place.

He knows, before he even crosses the door, that Julie's probably going to be busy and won't have time for him immediately but he's fine with that. The reason he's there is because he needs to forget about his parents and his ridiculous demands; before meeting her, playing guitar or writing music would've done the trick right now what he needs is to be surrounded by beautiful sights, pleasant smells and Julie. Even if she's busy he'll distract himself doing something, hoping that just being in her space will help calm the fire that started inside of him.

Once inside he sees Bobby and goes to say hello. Out of Julie's employees he's the one Luke has actually talked and knows a little bit, mostly because they have seen each other at open mic nights which allowed Luke to introduce him to his friends and the band. They talk for a couple of minutes exchanging pleasantries and discussing the music scene of this weekend while the guy checks the water on some of the flowers, before letting him know that Julie is on the counter. Luke then says goodbye and has to prevent himself from running towards her.

It's a good thing he decides to walk because when he's close to the counter he can see she's with someone and assumes it's a customer, although the behavior she's displaying does not match what he's seen when he sees her dealing with clients. No, she seems relaxed and casual, actually laughing the way she does when she's not on the job. He's unable to keep on watching from a distance because Julie spots him and waves him over.

"Hey! I wasn't expecting you." Says his girlfriend, making him smile as he takes a couple of steps to finally reach where she is. That's when he can finally see the person Julie is talking to and realizes… "I'm glad you're here though, I've been wanting you to meet my new friend. Luke, this is Flynn. Flynn, meet Luke."

He has to remain calm and not show any emotion other than happiness. He doesn't know what Hecate is doing there and he's not sure he wants to find out because the reason behind her presence cannot be a good one. Every part of his mind is trying to come up with a reason to answer why she's there: Is she here to gain information? Was she sent by his parents? Is this the moment he loses Julie forever? What is going on? He doesn't know what to think but he sure as hell is feeling scared, very. Hecate is not someone to mess with and her being here must mean something.

She's the one who takes the first step. "It's very nice to meet you. Julie has told me a lot about you." She offers her hand and for a second Luke doubts but his girlfriend is there and he has to pretend everything is fine despite everything being decidedly not fine.

"It's nice to meet you… Flynn, isn't it? What kind of name is that?" He can't help himself but he hopes it lands with a cheeky tone. Flynn cocks an eyebrow up, clearly seeing through his bullshit but Julie elbows him and tells him to behave. "Sorry, is just that Julie never mentioned you."

"It's okay. I told her to keep her eye candy to herself." She answers completely unfazed by Luke's antics. "Flynn is not really my name, is just something some obnoxious classmates came up with when I was in middle school and I decided to claim it. There's power in owning what people throw at you, you know?" It's obviously a jab directed at him, because the name Flynn was something that came up when his friends were renaming the Underworld and giving everything human names. He can't explain to her it was just a joke, not right now when Julie is within earshot, besides, he doubts it'll help, the damage is already done.

"Thanks for the compliment." Is all he can answer, giving him one of his charming smiles, showing all his teeth. "I really meant it when I said it's nice to meet you."

"Mmm... I'm still on the fence about you. Julie talks about you all the time but all I see is very underwhelming arms." She's able to pass it as a joke and that's why he forces a laugh, just to play along.

"Oh, c'mmon Flynn. You make it sound like I talk about his arms a lot." Julie's blushing so he stretches himself over the counter to give him a kiss on the cheeks.

"It's okay babe. I'm not complaining." This time both his smile and laugh are completely real. He lets himself stay close to her, without caring about how uncomfortable the position is just because of how pretty she looks when looking at him. That simple gesture makes him forget about his parents and the possible threat that Hecate's presence supposes. He's happy seeing her so he lets himself enjoy that for a second…

Until Hecate coughs to snap both of them out of their reverie. "Wow, you two are seriously lovesick." She deadpans and while she's not completely wrong, at least on his side, she is wrong on Julie's account which he confirms when his girlfriend starts to distract himself and avoids his gaze. "Anyways, I have to get going. I have to get to class."

"Oh, that's cool. What are you studying?" He's completely mesmerized by the fact that her cover apparently includes that kind of information. He has to admit she's good at whatever she's doing.

"I'm studying fashion design." She answers, before walking around the counter to hug Julie and give her a proper goodbye, he even hears them make plans about hanging out, which surprises him. "Don't worry Rockstar, once I graduate I can give you fashion tips and better clothes… You definitely need them." Those are the words Flynn leaves them with, making Julie laugh so hard she has to duck under the counter to not disturb the couple Bobby is dealing with.

Luke imitates the action Flynn did a couple of seconds ago and once he's behind the counter he bends down to be at her level. "I'm sorry, she just has a lot of sass but she's the best." His girlfriend says just as he helps her stand up. Once they are standing up she takes the opportunity to hug him and kiss him properly. "I happen to like the way you dress, so don't mind her."

"Yeah, I'm beginning to think you only like the gun show." He answers, giving her a wink. It's incredible how Julie makes him forget about everything and help him feel fine, even if the threats are closer than ever. Out of the corner of his eye he realizes there's more people coming in and he's not there to interfere with her business. "Hey, I know you're busy but I really need to hang, is it okay if I go upstairs? I don't mind waiting until you close."

She beams at him and steals another kiss before answering. "Yeah, make yourself at home... I believe your guitar is there from last time. Just give Carlos his food at five and if you want there's arroz con pollo that my tía made. I'll go as soon as I can."

"I'll be counting the hours." He says, making her giggle and kisses her again just for the sake of it, before going upstairs and, taking her words to heart, makes himself at home.

He does his best to keep his thoughts centered while waiting for Julie. He knows himself too well and if he doesn't keep them on a tight leash he's capable of spiraling and getting down a rabbit whole he's not sure he'll be able to get out of. Seeing his parents was one thing but not the added presence of Hecate to the mix is enough to actually make him feel sick. He knows he should've followed her and demanded an explanation but he couldn't, he was there to see Julie and he realizes that if their time together is coming to an end he'll make the best out of it.

So he plays guitar and feeds Carlos and entertains himself for almost three hours and a half, when Julie finally closes the store and is able to come upstairs to eat a warm dinner. "I didn't want to eat without you." He says when she crosses the threshold. She looks tired but smiles as she hears his words and skips to his side to give him a tight hug. He reciprocates and buries his head on her hair before giving her a kiss. "Sit down, I'll do everything okay?" After opening her chair for her he opens a bottle of wine, thinking it'll help both of them.

"Thanks, but you don't have to bother…"

"Nonsense. You seem tired and I'm hiding out here anyways, the least I can do is actually help." He reassures her because he likes doing this for her, it makes his heart feel like singing the song he's been writing about her.

He can't tell her he craves this kind of domesticity and he wants to indulge in it the same way a kid would indulge in chocolate cake, only that, unlike the kid who will probably end with stomachache he won't, he'll crave this domestic moments with her forever, even when a couple of centuries have passed and she no longer walks the Earth he'll remember warming up dinner and drinking cheap wine with her. He was never one to think about how lonely he was until they met and now, every time he leaves her home and goes to the Underworld alone, he realizes he wants a world where he doesn't have to say goodbye to her so often. He wants his reality to include her and they can be domestic all the time.

There he goes, always wanting something he'll never get to have.

When is he going to learn?

They eat in silence for a while but when he's refilling her glass she interrupts the silence. "You said that you needed to be here, when we were downstairs and now you just said that you're hiding… Is everything okay?" She asks, extending her hand and offering it to him, which he takes without doubting it.

"My parents dropped in unannounced today." He says, leaving his fork on his empty platter. That's enough information to make her start caressing his hand, which makes him smile. Julie knows that he doesn't get along with Mitch and Emily and that they do not support his music endeavors, so he can tell her about the awful meeting with them without delving into the real reason why they paid him a visit in the Underworld. "It's been a while since I saw them and it was an awful reunion. I was mean to them but… I don't know Julie, I really wish I could love them or at least tolerate them enough to be civil because these are the people who gave birth to me. I owe them at least that."

Once again, he's not lying about what he's saying and yet he's surprised about voicing those thoughts out loud. Not even Alex and Reggie, who are his best friends and brothers, know how much he would like for things to be different with his parents. However, he should really stop being surprised by the fact that he's once again baring his soul to Julie, after all she's the one who gave him one.

"Luke, you don't owe them anything for bringing you into this." She looks at him in the eyes, speaking in a deadly serious tone she rarely uses. "I wish you could get along with them but it's hard having a relationship with someone who's so out of touch of who you really are." She says, before standing up and setting herself between his legs to give him an ever tighter hug than the one she gave him when she went upstairs.

He rests his head in her chest and lets a couple of tears slide down his cheeks. He's not crying because of his parents, he's crying because Julie's words have hit so close to their relationship he can't actually bear it. Unknowingly she's making him realize he needs to let her go and that makes him cry more.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry on you." He says, once they separate and he can see Julie's shirt. She shakes her head and rests her forehead on his before cleaning his tears and kissing him on the tip of his nose.

"Don't apologize for anything Luke Patterson. I'll always lend you my shoulder or shirts to cry on." She says, playfully before tugging his hand and leading him to her bed.

Without giving it a thought or stopping to remove her shoes she accommodates them both so that she's cuddling him and even if he wants to cry some more he can't because he gets lost on the fact that Julie's hands are running through his hair, messing it even more than before and her other hand is rubbing his left arm, giving him goosebumps. His head is still resting on her chest and he finds it funny that even if this is the closest thing he'll get to feel her breasts he's not really paying attention to that, rather, his hand is brushing a patch of skin around her hip that feels smooth to the touch. He likes that he can see that she also has goosebumps.

"Tell me how you got into music." She says after a while and Luke is so out of touch with reality he doesn't even question where the hell does her query comes from.

"I guess in a way, it's always been a part of me." He starts explaining, conscious enough to not blurt out that it all started in ancient Greece. "When I was younger it was one of the few things that actually caught my attention. There was nothing like it, you know? Food is fine but if I could I would just sustain myself through music."

"When you find out a way to make that work, let me know. I don't doubt that if anyone can make that happen, it's going to be you." She jokes, making him laugh.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. You'll be the first one I'll tell, of course." He guarantees her, before continuing with the altered version of how he got into music. "I liked guitar the most, I tried a couple of other instruments yet none felt the way guitar did so I took lessons but that was like forty percent of the work the other sixty was just me becoming obsessed and teaching myself. I just loved it and my brain craved it, all I could think was music."

"I would argue that that is still the case." She says and he has to shake his head because the only fitting answer for that is 'Now all I think is you, Julie' but he can't tell her that, what good it'll do to them?

"No, I get what you are saying but it was way worse. Before meeting Alex and Reggie my brain could only process music, the rest was just background nonsense." He explains feeling how Julie's hand is now on his back, under his shirt. He smiles at that, shivering when her nails come into contact with his skin. "I met them at class. Where we learned we had some communal classes and we bonded. It didn't even occur to me, not in my wildest dreams that we would form a band together. It's one of the best things that ever happened to me. The other one is you."

He can't help himself and says it out loud, slightly relieved that they can't see each other because of the position they're at. But once again, he needs her to know this even if he's going to pull the plug in the relationship. Because...

He's going to miss this.

He's going to miss being with her and talking about everything and nothing.

He's going to miss listening to her talk about her day and her life, which he still finds fascinating.

He's going to miss being listened to by her, knowing that she's giving him her whole undivided attention.

He's going to miss her touch and the way she easily understood that was an important thing for him.

He's going to miss her and every aspect of their relationship. Especially the quiet moments, the ones when they are just two people against all odds comforting each other.

"You're also one of the best things that happen to me." She whispers and he can't help but to raise his head, almost cracking his neck, just to see her. She laughs softly at his reaction and brushes his hair to a side, looking at him fondly. He gets lost in her brown eyes and dreams of a future they cannot have together. He hopes that whoever gets to live his life with Julie is really worthy of her, he knows he doesn't deserve not even an ounce of affection that her eyes radiate.

He could tell her he loves her right now. Maybe he should but…

"Can I stay the night?" Is what he ends up saying instead and she nods, before closing the distance and giving him a kiss that resembles the one they share the night they met. She's clearly trying to seal her words to him and make him feel better. She's succeeding at it.

"Yeah, I was not letting you go today." She says once they break the kiss.

He takes advantage of the solitude when she goes to the bathroom and tidies up the kitchen so that tomorrow there's no mess for her to clean up. When he's done he crouches to check Carlos' water and sand before standing up and realizing that on the side of the fridge there's a picture of them. It was taken by Reggie some weeks ago, at the Santa Monica pier. He was giving her a piggyback ride because she was complaining that he was a terrible boyfriend after not winning her a single stuffed animal. They were making fun of each other when his friend took the picture and Julie claimed it for herself.

He steps back, realizing he's crying again because of all the good memories they have accumulated in their little time together. By the time Julie comes out of the bathroom he's already in bed, trying and failing to get a hold of himself, something she clearly notices because instead of taking her side, she goes to his and spoons him.

"I'm here, It's going to be okay Luke" She whispers in his ear, before turning off the light.

He doesn't sleep, he spends the whole night trying to memorize the way her body curls up against his, the way her breaths tickle his neck, the way her scent is all he can smell.

He's going to break up with her but he hopes that night stays with him forever.