Adrien's heart leaps with as much force as if he was trying to burst out of his chest.
"Chat".
It's only a word, a simple and unique word, but the young man recognizes this voice without a shadow of a doubt. He had hoped for it for too long, had heard its echoes too often in his wildest dreams not to identify it immediately.
Ladybug's voice.
Suddenly dizzy, Adrien clings to the window frame.
The emotion catches up, fast and strong.
After having spent so many years drowned in a suffocating nightmare, Adrien suddenly feels like he has too much oxygen. His pulse is fast, way, way too fast, and his blood rushes through his veins at an infernal rate. The young man has the feeling that his chest is burning, that his lungs are exploding, that the whole world is tilting and rocking around him.
"Chat? "Ladybug repeats in a worried voice he barely hears through the deafening sound of his own heartbeat. "Is... is that you?"
A wave of panic immediately crashes on Adrien.
He has to answer.
He has to answer now.
Quick, quick, before his Lady panics and hangs up.
The young man opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. His tongue seems to him to be made of lead, emotion knots his vocal cords.
Adrien wants to scream in frustration. Speaking has never been a problem, especially not for Chat Noir. So why? Why now?
But there's no way that he let his chance pass. Not when he's closer to Ladybug than he's been in years, not when it might only take a few words for him to finally find her.
He shakes his head sharply, and, with an extraordinary effort of will, finally manages to regain control of his body.
"M-My... My Lady?" He whispers hoarsely.
On the phone, he hears a muffled hiccup. Like someone desperately trying to catch their breath. Like a sob.
Or maybe both at the same time.
"Yes," she resumes after a moment of silence. "Yes, I... It's me, Chat. It's me. "
A powerful surge of emotions immediately washes over Adrien. Joy, disbelief, unspeakable relief merge, unite to strike him with such devastating force that it almost leaves him stunned. Ladybug's few words touch him in the heart, slip through his veins, crisscross every nook and cranny of his being, setting fire to everything in their path.
Ladybug.
Sensing that his legs threaten to betray him, Adrien wavers, trembles, clings more tightly to this window which seems to have become his lifeline.
Ladybug.
He found her.
He finally found her.
"My Lady...," he says in a moved voice. "I-I... I am..."
Unable to continue, he suddenly fell silent.
To the happiness of having found Ladybug suddenly mingles the shame and guilt of having abandoned her. The remorse suffocates Adrien, crushes him, threatens to deprive him of the last scraps of self-control that remain.
He can no longer speak, can no longer think.
Can no longer breathe.
It is as if all of the oxygen has suddenly been sucked out of the room.
Forehead pressed against the cold glass of the window, Adrien mechanically brings his free hand to his throat and takes a deep breath. Then another, and yet another, focusing on those precious gulps of air to try to regain his composure.
He feels caught in a maelstrom of feelings whose power exceeds him. It's too much. His emotions take control of his being, make his body shiver, speed up his breathing. They relentlessly take hold of his heart, making it beat hard, so hard that its heavy pulsations resonate to the depths of his bones.
Adrien has the feeling of having been propelled into the heart of a terrible storm.
He trembles, fights, clings to the only thing that can allow him to keep any semblance of reason.
Ladybug.
Over and over again.
Staring at the giant portrait of his teammate, Adrien swallows hard.
"I'm sorry," he finally resumes. "I'm so sorry I left like this. I... "
Again, Adrien stops.
His nerves are on edge, exacerbating his emotions to the point that they become difficult to bear. The fear of rejection paralyzes him, and his words get stuck in his throat once more.
He needs to talk to Ladybug. To tell the reasons for his departure, to explain the stifling hell that his life has become since his father's betrayal.
But not today.
But not like that, not now.
It's not that he wants to run away again, but for now, only one thought obsesses him. A primitive, vital need that overshadows everything else.
"I want to see you," he confesses in a whisper.
Nothing has ever been truer.
He wants to see her again. With all his heart, with all his soul.
Without Ladybug, he's only half of himself. A shadow, an echo, a creature that will only be able to live fully once he has found her.
"I... I certainly don't deserve it after what happened, but I want to see you again", he continues painfully, drawing on all his reserves of energy to succeed in speaking. "I'm sorry, if you only knew how much I'm sorry..."
His voice betrays him and Adrien must remain silent once more.
This relentless fight between his body and his emotions drains all his strength. Adrien is exhausted, even more so than if he had just fought the hardest of battles. His pulse echoes in his temples like a drum, his breath is still way too fast and burning searing tears sting his eyes.
Adrien flutters his eyelids furiously, trying as best he can to contain this new manifestation of emotion.
" Chat..." Ladybug murmurs in a moved voice.
The still lucid part of Adrien's brain wonders distractedly if his teammate is plagued by feelings as intense as his. But the rest of his mind is consumed, carried away by the sound of the young woman's voice.
Ladybug is the center of his universe.
At this moment, Adrien has the impression of living only to hear her, only to hope to find her again one day.
"I missed you, my Lady", finally resumes Adrien. " You missed me so much. "
"I missed you too", replies Ladybug without any hesitation." And I... I want to see you again, too. I can't go on like this. I miss you so much. Oh, kitty, you can't even imagine how much I miss you!" sheexclaims with a laugh that sounds a bit too much like a sob.
In shock, Adrien freezes.
Ladybug's words echo in his head, making his heart beat so hard it feels like it is on the verge of exploding.
"I want to see you again."
Ladybug doesn't blame him. Or at least, not enough to want him to disappear from her life for good.
Around the young man, the world rocks, flips again. Adrien suddenly has the impression that his universe is adorned with more vivid colours. That the air is cleaner, that the lights are suddenly brighter.
Perhaps gravity has also abruptly changed as Adrien now feels extraordinarily light, as if an immense weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He stands up mechanically and breathes, finally.
"I beg your pardon...," he goes on with an emotion that is hardly contained. "I should never have gone to Master Fu without talking to you first. I should never... I should never have left like this ..."
He hears Ladybug let out a slight hiccup at the mention of Master Fu.
"I would have preferred things to have happened otherwise", she approves softly. "I would have..."
Ladybug pauses for a bit.
"Well, it's the past," she sighs finally. "We can't change anything, but whatever. I found you, Chat. That's all that matters to me," she concludes fervently.
"That... That's all that matters to me too," stammers Adrien, still stunned by the turn of events.
He still struggles to believe that his Lady does not hate him for his terrible mistake. That on the contrary, she still cares about him. That she misses him.
It is a real miracle.
"Are you still in Paris?" abruptly resumes Ladybug, tearing him from his thoughts. "If ... If you're free in the next few days, we could meet in a cafe. Or under the Eiffel Tower. Or... Or where you want. As it suits you. I'll figure it out. "
In shock, Adrien freezes, jaw wide open. He stares blindly at his own reflection in the glass, not even noticing how his eyes have widened in surprise. After several seconds of incredulous amazement, he slowly closes his mouth, opens it again, closes it again, like a fish out of water.
"Do you... You... Do you offer me to hang out with you, my Lady?" He stammers feverishly, suddenly fearing that his ears have played a cruel trick on him.
"I never thought I would say that one day, but yes, Chat. I'm offering you to hang out with me," Ladybug replies in an amused tone. "Unless you'd rather we just talk to each other on the phone?"
"No!" Adrien exclaims immediately, instinctively shaking his head to back up his words. "No. Certainly not. I... It's not that I don't like it, on the contrary. It... It's been a long time since I had been so happy," he confides, running his free hand nervously on the back of his neck. "It's just ... Plagg isn't here anymore. I will not be able to transform myself. You will see who I am. "
"Tikki is no longer with me either, kitty", retorts his teammate immediately.
Adrien flinches at the mention of this name.
Tikki.
Ladybug's kwami.
This explains why the heroine of Paris has never appeared again since their last fight.
But not why her teammate separated from her kwami.
Adrien bites his lower lip. He may be curious, he does not dare to ask his Lady why she abandoned her Miraculous too. It's not that he doesn't want to know, of course, but he's not sure he'll like the answer.
"What... what happened?" », he hears himself say in spite of himself.
Ladybug hesitates for a moment, as if she isn't sure whether it would be wise to answer either. Then, after long seconds, she lets out a heavy sigh.
"She ... Master Fu came to see me after you left ", she finally answers. "He took my earrings back. I haven't been a heroine since that day, kitty. Ladybug disappeared at the same time as Chat Noir. "
The young woman's words hit Adrien like a slap. He feels a violent chill run through his skin, commensurate with the sensation of cold shower that seizes him now. The gentle warmth that had previously enveloped Adrien vanished, leaving the young man with the impression that his blood was now laden with rivers of ice.
He would never have imagined that his hasty departure could have such disastrous consequences.
Having discussed it a lot with his teammate, Adrien knows how close Ladybug and her kwami were. And because of his impulsiveness, not only did his Lady loses her partner, but she also loses her most faithful friend.
Remorse resurfaced, gripping his heart like a frozen hand. Adrien opens his mouth to try to say a few words of apology, of repentance, anything to tell his Lady how much he regrets having been so stupid.
But the latter does not give him time.
"You couldn't know," she says in a firm voice. "You don't have to blame yourself. You had no way of knowing what Master Fu would do. I don't blame you anymore. "
"Anymore?" Adrien points out mechanically, regretting his words at the very moment when they cross his lips.
The guilt leaves a bitter taste on his tongue, and the regrets he had managed to brush aside painfully come back.
"I would be lying if I told you that I was never angry with you," Ladybug confides in a hesitant voice. "But once again, it's a thing of the past," she insists. " So, you better not mope about it, you stupid cat!" "
While Adrien remains silent with amazement, slowly assimilating the words of his Lady, the young woman continues her speech.
"If I was still mad at you, I would never have tried to find you", she continues. "I don't know what happened to make you go leaving like this, but I know you didn't mean any harm. I know you, kitty. You are stupid, you are impulsive. But you are also the most generous and courageous person I know," she concludes with a tender voice. "I'm glad you're here. "
A smile of incredulous happiness slowly appears on Adrien's lips. The words of his teammate slip to the depths of his heart, chasing the shadows that threatened to take hold of it.
Ladybug's unwavering support is for Adrien like the sweetest of flames. Warm, comforting, and synonymous with a home he should never have left.
"So for our meeting, you will also see who I am and that's not going to make me back down", resumes Ladybug without hesitation. "I can't take any more of those secret identities. It doesn't make sense anymore and already back then, I was a fool to be so strict on the subject. If I hadn't ... If I had accepted that we tell each other who we are, I would never have lost you, Chat," she lets out in a trembling voice. "So it doesn't matter whether we are transformed or not. I miss you. I miss you way too much for me to care about this. "
" So you want to see me?", Insists Adrien. "Even without the mask? "
"Even without the mask ", replies Ladybug in a moved but firm voice.
Adrien briefly closes his eyes. In him, suddenly, everything is bubbling, everything is agitated.
Everything is alive.
Freed from all constraints, his heart sings, dances with joy, revives in him feelings of an almost terrifying intensity. Adrien mechanically puts his hand to his chest, as if trying to contain the violent palpitations he feels pulsing between his ribs. He wants to laugh, to cry, to give up everything to go find his Lady right now and hug her with all his strength.
Eyes shining with tears, he gazes at the smiling portrait of Ladybug.
"A meeting...", he says carefully, savouring this word so simple and yet so heavy with meaning.
A smile emerges in spite of himself on his lips.
A meeting.
He'll see Ladybug again.
"I'll let you choose the time and place, my Lady", he finally answers. "Do as you please."
As Ladybug protests, arguing that she doesn't want to disturb him more than necessary, Adrien gently interrupts her.
"I assure you, there is really nothing cat-astrophic", he replies in a light tone. " I don't have any particular constraints, I will adapt to your schedule. And that will give me time to prepare," he continues immediately. "There's no way I would appear before such a charming young lady without being purrfectly purrfect. My feline honour is at stake! "
The puns roll on his tongue with ease, as if he had never stopped doing them since he gave up his role as protector of Paris. Right now, he feels closer to Chat Noir than he has been in years.
However, he doesn't completely feel like he's his heroic alter-ego, and he's not quite Adrien either.
He is himself.
For the first time in far too long.
In the hushed calm that reigns in the room, Adrien can distinctly hear the crystalline laughter of his Lady rising from his phone.
And suddenly, within a fraction of a second, his universe shifts.
Adrien freezes, as if struck by lightning. His muscles become tetanized, his breath stops and a sudden short circuit violently paralyzes his brain.
Impossible.
It's impossible.
He heard the laughter of his Lady.
He heard it twice.
A first one from his phone. And a second, at the same moment, from the depths of the apartment.
As in a dream, Adrien looks up in the direction from which the laughter came.
Impossible.
She can't be there.
Not so close.
Not without him knowing it.
The situation is so unreal, so absurd, that Adrien suddenly feels strangely dissociated from his body. Without even realizing it, his eyes scan the room, looking for the origin of this sound that has just shattered his certainties. With curious detachment, the young man looks at the walls. At the dresser adorning one side of the living room. At the corridor where Alya and...
And Marinette.
Adrien has the feeling of suddenly regaining his body, and at the same time receiving a violent punch in the stomach.
Marinette.
Marinette and her black hair, her bright smile, her eyes of an inimitable azure colour.
Marinette, who has never been akumatized.
Marinette, who, of course, would have had no trouble getting in touch with Alya to post a message on the Ladyblog.
The blood rushes back from Adrien's face, fleeing in his veins at such a speed that the young man suddenly feels on the verge of fainting. Now as pale as a dead man, he staggers slightly, blinks in an attempt to chase away the darkness that reaches the extremities of his field of vision.
Fingers clenched around his phone, Adrien takes a mechanical step forward to regain his balance, while looking for Nino. It only takes him a fraction of a second to locate his best friend, busy chatting quietly with Chloé, Sabrina and Max.
"My Lady, excuse me," he says abruptly. "I have to go away for a minute. Just a tiny minute. Please wait for me. "
Ladybug agrees and Adrien quickly pulls the phone away from his ear. He walks towards Nino, grabs him by the elbow to drag him aside.
"Nino", he breathes in a pressing voice. "Do you think Marinette could be Ladybug?"
Obviously struggling to believe what he heard, Nino remains speechless for a moment. Adrien is perfectly aware of not having taken the time prepare his friend for his question, but he has never been in such a hurry. He needs an answer, and he needs it now.
His Lady may be there.
Certainly, even.
"What... huh?" Nino stammers, visibly taken aback. "What? "
"Marinette. Ladybug," Adrien insists. "Do you think it's the same person?"
"I... I don't know," replied his friend, still in shock. "But... It's... It's possible. It's even very possible," he continues, nodding his head sharply. "That would explain w-"
But Adrien is already walking away.
Nino doesn't know anything, that's obvious. He should have guessed. The chances that his friend had concealed the identity of his Lady from him while knowing how her absence gnawed at him were slim.
Nino doesn't know anything.
But it doesn't matter.
Adrien knows exactly where to find the answers to his questions.