Credits: ScuffedSenku, me

Chapter 7: Petelbitch's twisted and twitching corpse

Ryan then decided to save the village, as any hero of his caliber would do. He simply snapped his fingers as the discount librarian connected the nearby door to a village's door. The smell was ordinary unlike the perfumed interiors of the expensive hotels he used to live in. He walked out as the villagers bowed down in front of him to show respect. They had heard from the radio about Ryan being the new sword saint. They all began to sing his praises as he used his 5,30,000 iq brain to figure out what must be done. He then proclaimed, " I as the new sword saint am giving you the privilege of being eloped first!"

Ryan then chanted, 7th element magic, Gravitus Negatus and flew off into the sky, surveying the land, searching for a certain green man.

If you were closer to him you could look him in the eyes and see anger and fury welling up. "You tortured my kitten didn't you? I will make you know true hell." If one was to look into his eyes, they would immediately look away in fear.

He could see from the distance, a man standing in front of a cave moving weirdly. He teleported right in front of him like gojo satoru. Ryan was welling in anger, his white hair over his wrathful eyes as he walked towards Petelbitch.

The archbisop began spouting, "Ahhhhhhh, what a day to meet you, ardent believer in love. I see that the witch's love bathes you plentiful- ghk"

The archbishop was interrupted by something, he was being held up in the air by Ryan as he choked him with just one of his hands.

Betelguese said, "You should have killed me when you had the chance, to engage in behaviour like this is sloth!"

As he said this Ryan's eyes started to glow, "You're having something I want, GIVE IT NOW. This is an order, and you shalt not disobey, you pussy."

Upon hearing the order, Betelgeuse went silent and started shaking in fear, knowing what's about to come. After those moments of silence Petelgeuse slowly started to cry like the little bitch, Subaru, "Witch, Oh Witch, The proof of my love, my devotion, my love, my authority, my drive, my life, why did you give it to him. whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhyw-"

Still babbling, the mad archbishop was being lifted higher, strangled by his own authority. As his limbs slowly started being twisted. "Now suffer like my kitten had to, BITCH!" The archbishop screamed like a dying animal.

His limbs proceeded to twist 720 degrees (which is 2 full circles by the way. Learned that in my math class today ;P).

Now his body stopped moving, and I heard similar laughs from another place as more hands appeared all over the place, 'That guy, did the authority get cloned?' Ryan simply smiled in place, "Interesting! but I have my revenge, you are irrelevant just like the rest of your existence"

Ryan just chanted a spell, "Severus lifeus kadavrus." This made the new cultists' heads get clean chopped off, which created fountains of red liquid.

After that came another one from the shadows.

"LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE!" just before he got dispatched in one arm motion. This just repeated for another 8 times as Petelbitch screamed, "My lifeblood, my cause, my devotion, my action, my life all of it."

Ryan just replied, "It's all useless. Didn't ask, don't care."

After this Ryan had a brilliant thought spark in his 5,30,000 IQ brain, 'If I have his authority I am an archbishop now. So I will just have all the cultists kill themselves. Not surprised that idiot Subaru didn't think of it, can't expect too much from losers anyways'

Upon coming to this realisation, a shit eating grin appeared on Ryan's face, which would make any woman wet. He was kind of disappointed in the author of Re:Zero for overlooking that simple solution. What an amateur writer, overlooking that huge plothole, shaking my head.

I cleared my throat and shouted "MY CULTISTS, KILL YOURSELVES! I'M THE ARCBISOP OF ENVY, RYAN SHIROKURO!"

At my command I could feel the Od lagna the collection of worlds get much heavier from all the souls getting added to it. 'It definitely worked! The archbishops seem to be unaffected though. It's like a discord role then huh. I used to be a moderator for an anime server, but I was demodded for asking for pics from a girl. It's not pedophilia if you're both 12. What a bunch of losers. They are all now fapping crying in their own rooms, while I get another chance at life and fuck all their waifus. HAHAHAHAHA!'

After the complete and utter victory, Ryaew off towards the Whale's corpse, which didn't even resemble a whale. A thick carpet of blood and meat covered the grass plains, hiding the corpses of the mad soldiers underneath.n fl

He had to try a new move and deal with a homeless kid and a scrawny ass man who thought he was god. But before that, he tried to bring out his mega authority, which had evolved into something else after being concentrated 10 times over.

Ryan chanted, "INVISIBLE DARK SUSANOO!"

At his command an Invisible Susanoo appeared that was visible only to Ryan. It covered his body which was at the very center of its chest being the core of nigh infinite power.

"Lesgo." He said, looking towards where regular cornyass and homeless child Ley baked potatoes would appear in an hour.

Chapter 7 end.