Chapter 7: Sea
He kisses her in Ibiza after he spent nearly a week convincing his wife she had nothing to be concerned about.
Nostalgia hangs in the air as the cast reunites for the first time in nearly two years on the Spanish coast. Nikki insists on joining him for the trip (much to his surprise) and he wishes he didn't resent her for it, but somewhere beneath her forced nonchalance, he feels like he has his own personal babysitter. They all chat and drink by the sea and it holds its own sense of perfection away from the watchful eye and careful scrutiny of the fans.
Kevin and Julie rent a yacht for the day to celebrate with the cast and he breathes a nearly audible sigh of relief when his wife says she's going to head out shopping instead of tagging along.
He had been concerned that things would be weird, but everyone picks up right where they left off, laughing and joking around with one another.
She opts for being standoffish at first, unsure if she should err on the side of caution or follow her heart. Even so, she isn't able to avoid him long, catching his eye from across the deck and offering him a shy smile.
As the morning wears on, their gaze finds one another far too often, even as they are genuinely invested in discussing everything else with everyone else.
Sometime around noon, she decides to cut the tension, sidling up to him at the indoor bar when everyone else is preoccupied lounging by the pool.
"I've missed you," he breathes into the air around them before she has a chance to greet him, and somehow his words feel like a lazy good morning kiss.
She doesn't reply, but the sentiment is echoed in her eyes. He pulls her in for a hug and he swears that's his only prerogative until he feels her fingers instinctively clutch the hair at the nape of his neck. He should feel pathetic that such an innocent gesture is his complete undoing, and yet, in that moment, he is fully consumed by her.
When his lips close over hers, it's not the same as before. The heat and the passion are replaced by tenderness and misplaced devotion. And just like that, she's crying, tears streaming down her face as she pulls away and averts her gaze, too ashamed to look him in the eye.
He moves to comfort her and she shakes her head violently.
"I can't keep doing this, Ian." He doesn't think he's ever heard her this dejected. "I love you and I wish we had our happily ever after, but I screwed that up a long time ago."
Before he can process what she's said, she's leaning up to place a featherlight kiss on his cheek before shouldering past him to join the rest of the cast on deck. For the rest of the day, she laughs and dances around with the girls. She drinks entirely too much and he pretends not to notice. He pretends not to care.