"You are an idiot."

His only answer was the slamming of a door and Itachi expected no different response. This has been their only true encounter since the whole ordeal happened. All of their other interactions have involved few words and if anything bruises was the only outcome. Their relationship was rocky to begin with, but it was clear to Itachi now that his relationship with his brother would never be what it once was.

For once, he was okay with it.

Looking out the window of the living room, he could scarcely see the ocean before him through the red-lace curtain. His eyes softened, the irritation that is usually brought on by being in the presence of his foolish brother evaporated and instead placed with a calm. It wasn't common knowledge, but he quite enjoyed the waves. Not so much the heat from the sun, however he did fancy the coolness and weightlessness that the water made him feel. It washed away all of his worries and stress.

"Mother, I will be heading into town to the office. I will try to be back in time for dinner," Itachi says quietly as Mikoto comes into the living room. Her hair didn't have a single strand out of place but he could smell a hint of bleach once he leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek which told him that she was cleaning. He hoped Sasuke got roped into it. Cleaning with his mother was no easy task.

"Oh okay, dear. Just call me, okay?" She says with a smile and watches him get to the door before she stops him. "Itachi! Won't you check on Sakura for me? I'm worried about her."

"Of course."

The work day was irrelevant. Itachi could work through the day with his eyes closed and perhaps that is why he was trusted with the business and not Sasuke. Whatever the reason, he simply did not care. He couldn't find it in himself to care, this job was just simply that: a job. He would much rather pour himself into other things - things he enjoyed.

It was why music was slightly difficult to give up. He knew that he had to out of respect for his father and his fathers wishes, but there were times he regretted it.

His fingers strummed lightly against the strings of the guitar in his lap, his head bent low and bangs gathered in his face.

"Long day?"

Itachi looked up to see Kisame, another long time friend of his, sitting down on the floor next to him.

"Not really. It was just the same."

"I don't understand why you stay at your family's company. You're one of the most talented people I have ever met. It's a waste," sighs out Kisame as he takes a swig of a suspiciously strong scented drink. It figured that his friend would be day drinking, not that Itachi minded.

"It's expected."

"Yeah, yeah," Itachi is waved off and for a moment the only noise between them was the sound of Kisame's drink and the music from Itachi's fingertips. It was comfortable and it was a different type of sameness that he was used to. He didn't mind this kind.

"Did you go?"

"Not yet. I was going to go after dinner," hummed out Itachi and Kisame fixed him with a look. He lightly knocks the black haired man against the shoulder.

"You know that we are here for you."

"I know."

"As long as you do."

The cemetery was quiet.

The trees surrounding the perimeter were tall and proud, their leaves free, and their existence everything that Itachi felt he was not.

He found himself crouched down on the ground with a bouquet of flowers in front of him. His eyes stared at the headstone in front of him blankly and he felt empty. It has been nearly five years since she was swept out of existence and it still felt like a fresh wound heavy on his heart every time the date passed. He supposed it made sense. She was his first love and he was the reason for her death.

Not literally, but he couldn't help but carry the weight around on his shoulders. She was involved in a car wreck and he always found himself thinking "if she hadn't been so concerned about me and not checking her phone" then she would be fine. In reality, it was a mixture of distracted driving and a drunk that was responsible but he shouldered it all the same.

Itachi had loved her since he was fourteen and her death at sixteen hadn't erased that.

Ring.

Ring.

"Hello?"

A beat of silence and he stares at the headstone in front of him. The blue eyes of his first love that he so fondly remembered slowly morphed into the emerald of the person on the other line of the phone.

"I'm doing fine, thank you, and you?"

He was not fine.

He felt a little guilty the more he talked to her when he was sitting in front of her grave. It felt like disrespect to her memory.

"I'll be sure to tell my mother."

He could almost pretend that they were the same person, but he couldn't and he wouldn't. It wouldn't be right to either women. Still, his mind hovered over the thought of the two. He couldn't deny the similarity between the two personality wise. Outside of their shared burden family wise, it was that similar light in Sakura that drew him to her. It was unfair of him, but he couldn't help but feel like the victim when it seemed like the universe wanted to torture him with another one of her.

"You are always welcome over. I have to admit, I miss beating you at mario kart."

He missed more than that, but none of that had anything to do with her.

"Of course, take care, Sakura."

Hanging up, he stared down at his phone and sighed. He didn't understand what was wrong with him. It could be just the day or maybe he was really just as much of a piece of shit as his brother, but for different reasons. The likeness of Sakura to his dead lover made it hard to keep things platonic. His mind wandered to the ferris wheel.

He wasn't talking about the city when he called the view beautiful, but he wasn't sure if he was talking about Sakura either.

Oftentimes, he would find himself thinking it to be her and not Sakura. The image of the two often overlapping in his memory. And yet, for as often as it overlaps, he still found himself craving to be in Sakura's presence and not hers.

It was confusing and made him feel guilty all of the same.

School was the one thing that Sakura could throw herself into.

She wasn't much for parties and that was proven when she actually partook and the embarrassing moment with Itachi happened. But school work? That she could do.

Sighing out, she sets her highlighter down.

Sakura's birthday was coming soon and she didn't know how to feel about it. She knew that her friends would want to do something, but Sakura didn't really feel like celebrating because in a way it felt like she was still celebrating the first time that he said "I love you" back to her. She regretted even bringing him along for that trip during spring break but most importantly she regretted even giving him the time of day during that summer.

Except, that she also didn't.

Sasuke brought more with him than just pain. He brought her Itachi, one of her closest friends now, and he also brought her some kind of happiness. While it had lasted, Sakura had felt over the moon and she was glad. She would think back on those memories fondly, but she would always feel disdain. She hated that her first love wouldn't be her last.

As Sakura entered the basement of Naruto's house, dread filled her.

It was her birthday and she had requested that it wouldn't be too crazy. Having Ino and Naruto as two of her best friends did not help her in that regard, she quickly realized as she saw how done up the room was. Streamers and balloons were everywhere and there was even a mini stage - for what, she had no clue, she just hoped it wasn't inappropriate.

"Oi, forehead, watch out!" Shouted Ino as she came rushing by the pinkette with trays of what suspiciously looked like jello shots.

"I thought this was going to be tame," says Sakura pointedly and the blonde shrugs innocently.

"It is! We only invited our close friends and a band."

"What band?" Sakura asked, only because she was curious. She wasn't super into music as of late and if she did listen to any it was mainly songs about broken hearts and whatnot that people listen to when they are heartbroken. Sakura felt that it was a whole other genre of its own.

"Oh, it's nothing special.." She trails off and Sakura raises an eyebrow. Sakura wasn't sure why she was being so secretive.

"Okay.." Sakura let it go and instead focused on setting up. She arrived early so she figured that she might as well make herself useful.

It wasn't too long before the guests started piling in and Sakura realized a little too late that it wasn't just her close friends, but rather a mixture of everyones. She tried not to let it get to her, but she still found herself on that damn couch off to herself. It was her birthday, but she couldn't help but feel a little lonely. She knew her friends meant well, but it was a little difficult to stay with her group when all of her group was busy snogging faces together.

The lights flickered and panic swelled up in her chest when they took a second too long to come back on. She rested a hand against her chest once they did and let out a deep breath. She supposed she didn't gain her breath back too well because it was taken from her again once she looked at the mini stage. Surprise was all over her face as she took in the sight before her.

There, in the center, was Itachi holding a microphone.

"What in the world…" Sakura breathed out.

"Happy birthday Sakura, yeah!" Shouted Deidara as he hammered down on the drums. Embarrassment flooded her face as people looked around at her. The happy birthday posts finally clicked in their minds, but it didn't matter much. They were here for a good time and Sakura couldn't blame them.

Sakura shyly smiled and waved at Itachi from her position on the couch when he caught her eyes. The makeshift overhead stage lights created an ethereal light around him and Sakura had to admit that he was still good looking even after his young band years-

"Stop it, Sakura, he is your friend and his brother," she quietly beat herself up.

"He's pretty cute, huh?" Ten Ten sighed out as she leaned against Sakura's shoulder.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sakura quipped and stole the cup from the brunette's hand. Taking a drink, she notes distastefully that it was alcohol. Was there ever anything else to drink at these parties? She seriously needed to talk to Naruto about his beverages.

"Oh, please, you can't deny it. Your face is red."

"It's the lighting," Sakura said and conveniently the lights on the stage were red. It didn't save her for long though because the colors changed and her face didn't as she watched Itachi perform. She couldn't help but feel like even when she wasn't watching him, he was watching her.

But she's imagining things, this is Itachi after all.

"You don't owe him anything," Ten Ten says and drags Sakura back in. Confusion is written on Sakura's face and Ten Ten only laughs before answering. "Sasuke."

"Oh."

"You can go after anyone you want. You deserve to go after what makes you happy, not him."

"Thank you, Ten Ten," Sakura smiles. "But it's not like that with him."

Sakura rarely found herself away from the couch, but somehow she kept finding drinks near her. Out of politeness, she wouldn't decline them, but it was starting to feel like she should have declined the last two that she drank.

"Are you having fun?"

Sakura blinks blearily and looks up at the person in front of her. Her mind works hard to figure out who it is that is and in no time, it works.

"Of course, I love getting shit faced for my birthday," she snarks and shoots a glare at Ino. She didn't mean it, of course, but she would be having a talk with the blonde about what she considered tame. Itachi chuckles, sitting down next to her. "You sounded amazing, by the way."

"Thank you.." He trails off before settling a heavy gaze on her. "Happy birthday."

There was something about the way that he was looking at her that made her blush and feel different. Her heart was beating erratically and she had to tear her gaze away. It was either him.. Or the alcohol. Probably the alcohol.

"Thank you," Sakura answers simply before stifling a yawn. Since the band stopped playing, the stereos were turned up all the way, and it caused for a pounding in her head.

"Do you need a ride home?"

"Please," she says softly and he nods. She was appreciative. Sakura knew that this party was for her, but she didn't know how much longer she could have stayed awake. Sakura could only find Ten Ten and as such said goodbye to her before the two of them quietly slipped out.

The night air was cold and Sakura hummed out as the wind picked up. It was chilly considering it was Spring but for once Sakura didn't mind after being cooped up in the basement for hours.

"Thank you, again," she said as she got into his car. She could finally hear herself think and it was relaxing. She felt more calm without the erratic beat of the music in her ear or the sound of her friends screaming so that they could hear each other. The party life would never be for her and it held true considering she had only had three drinks but she knew she should have stopped after one. It is just difficult for her to turn things down.

"It isn't a problem," he says softly and starts driving.

As they drive past the houses, the residences slowly give way to sand and water. Sakura lets out a soft breath, loving the way the moonlight shines against the water. She needed to start going back to the beach more, but it was hard when every time she did, she just thought of that night and all of the other nights that she had dumbly given into him.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm just thinking," she answers softly and he doesn't say anything. She's grateful because she didn't really feel like talking.

As they pulled into her driveway, he turned to her. "Goodnight," he says softly and relishes in the way that her gaze softens on him.

"Goodnight," she says softly and gives him a smile, "And thank you again."

"Anything for you."

From: Pig

Subject: Birthday

To: Forehead

Was I just really drunk

or did I see you sneak

out of the party last ni

-ght with Itachi?

(2 p.m.)

Sakura rolls her eyes before texting out her response.

From: Forehead

Re: subject: Birthday

To: Pig

Don't get excited. He ju

-st took me home becaus

-e I was tired. Nothing

Else. (2:04 p.m.)

It was honestly Ino's super power that allowed her to read too much into anything. Though, it was one of her traits that made her pretty entertaining to have around. Sakura wouldn't change her out for anyone else.

Her first two years of college went by fast without too much of a hitch outside of the Sasuke fiasco. Honestly, not having a boyfriend to worry about made it a little easier for her to concentrate because she wasn't having to balance too many things at once. It was a slight blessing in disguise. Though, she did find herself missing the comfort of having someone.

There was just something about having someone to turn to after a rough day or someone to press kisses to her forehead and cheeks when everything else was falling apart. It was nice to have a constant in her life even when that constant ended up not being a permanent one.

Stirring the sugar in her tea, Sakura hummed out as she overlooked the way the sun hit the water. Currently it was summer break and soon she would be starting university to get her bachelors. She felt a little overwhelmed by it all, but she knew that she had what it took. In the end, it would all be worth it.

"Enjoying yourself?" Asked a voice from behind her.

"It's about time you showed up, I was starting to think that you just stood me up," Sakura joked as she watched the person pull a chair out from across from her. Somewhere within that time gap, it had become normal for her and Itachi to meet up a couple times a week at the new little cafe` that was built on the beach.

"My mother wanted me to give these to you," he hummed out as he set a basket of various fruits on the table.

"She is too kind, tell her I said thank you." Sakura says and she stares at the fruits longingly. They were nature's finest creation in her mind and she was immensely grateful for the generosity of Mikoto in sharing the gatherings from her garden.

"You could always come by and tell her yourself," Itachi commented off-handedly but still giving her a pointed look.

"I know.. I just don't feel comfortable.."

"He isn't ever there."

"Maybe one day."

They leave it at that and silence falls over them. Neither party minds it though. The both of them were comfortable enough around each other that it made little difference to them.

"How did your father react to you starting to do gigs again?" She asks after a while, taking a sip from her drink.

"He.. It could have been worse. I don't think he cares as much as long as I'm still putting the business first."

"I see.. I'm glad that you decided to go back to music, at least as much back into it as you can," Sakura hums out and she gives him a smile. For a moment, Itachi sees someone else but it is quickly gone and instead guilt is in place. "You seem happier since then."

"I wasn't before?" He asks amusedly.

"I wouldn't say you were like a broody main character, but that is what I'm saying," laughs out Sakura and Itachi chuckles along with her.

These moments were what got her through every week. She cherished each and every moment with her friends, not taking it for granted.

The beach was no longer avoided and that missing feeling of peace was restored in her life. Sakura wouldn't say that she was over it all, but she had definitely moved on. It still hurt her, but she didn't dwell on it anymore. Sasuke had since moved on and so would she - she wasn't going to let her life revolve around cutting pieces of him out, anymore. The beach was hers first.

The water felt nice against her toes and she decided that not even sex felt as great as the feeling of the ocean and the breeze. There was nothing better.

It was hard to believe that she had avoided the place that brought her so much peace over a silly boy she had known for a year and some change. It was ridiculous, she decided, and found herself laughing at the thought of it.

Though love had you blind, that much she knew to be true.

Slowly, she starts to walk forward and go deeper into the water. She lets out a soft breath as the water gets deeper and deeper until eventually just her shoulders are barely above the water. Leaning backwards, she dipped her hair in the water and swished it around.

The sun was hitting her just right and the water was warm. All of her worries were being carried away into the water and she was no longer feeling drowned. It was a relaxing feeling and it was liberating. Kicking against the sand, Sakura waded around on her back and just relaxed in the water. She didn't have a care in the world. She couldn't fathom how some people were filled with so much anxiety when it came to the ocean when all it did was bring her joy and happiness. Sakura supposed everyone hailed from different callings and she was pretty sure that she must have been a sea creature in her past life. Nothing else would explain how at home she felt beneath the waves and among the sandy ocean floor.

She wades for awhile and eventually the sun begins to set. She could feel how burnt her skin was, but she didn't really care. She needed the comfort of being beneath the sun and in the sea. It was much needed therapy and she felt sated as she sat on her towel. Watching the sunset, she couldn't help the smile that was on her face. Everything finally felt right.

"Care if I join?"

"Of course, you don't even have to ask," snorts Sakura as she scoots over on her towel. Drinking from her water bottle, she turns to observe the man beside her. It wasn't often that Itachi joined her to watch the sunset, but she didn't mind when he did. They were both usually quiet when it did happen and she expected today to be no different. Instead, she finds him looking back at her.

Her face heats up and she looks away. Sakura didn't know why him catching her looking at him was so embarrassing. It was something she never understood - how he made her act the way he did. It was nerve wracking. The way she acted or even he acted was unpredictable.

"The sunset is very pretty."

"It is," he hums in agreement but out of the corner of her eye she can tell that his attention is still on her. She squirms slightly, but doesn't let it show that she knows. It was all in her head. "Are you going to the faire this year?"

"Yes," she answers and gives him a smile. She ignores the way it seems like he focuses on her and laughs out "but I always go, you know that. Are you?"

"I was thinking about it."

"I see," she hums out and leans backwards onto her hands. She could feel the heat from off of his body because of how close her position brought them but she did her best to pay it no mind. This was her friend and a good one, too. She didn't want to make it weird.

"Do you want to go together?"