As he heard the front door slam behind Revy, Rock slumped forward in self-disgust. He loved her more than anything, and he had driven her away. He knew her past wasn't pretty. Why had he pressed her for details?

He closed his eyes tightly. Of course. It was because he had a saviour complex the size of a city. He wanted to figure out what made her tick, so he could wind her up to be his housewife. God, he was selfish. She'd stepped in front of Balalaika's gun for him, and still it wasn't enough. He put his face in his hands as he felt a fresh wave of guilt and shame.

Some of her more violent behaviors made sense now or at least more sense than they had. She'd been raised by an abusive, neglectful, and alcoholic father. She'd survived by stealing until she was caught. She'd been hurt and isolated in juvenile hall and then was dumped back with her father afterward.

And then came the coup-de-grace. As a teenager she'd been raped by a cop. Rock shuddered suddenly at the mental image of a much younger Revy on her back with a cop on top of her. The scene nearly made him throw up. He felt tears roll out of his eyes as he bent double and brought his hand to his mouth.

Could he make this up to her somehow? Yes. He had to. He'd apologize as soon as she got home. He'd make clear she didn't have to tell him anything else when she came back.

Suddenly, Rock felt the cold sweat of fear. What if Revy didn't come back? She wasn't bound to him by anything other than her desire, and she could easily walk away. Had he upset her so much that this was the end? When Dutch had made his offer, Rock had let her go. But after each job, she came home just because she wanted to.

What if she no longer wanted to?

Suddenly, Rock's nausea reached a breaking point. Ignoring the pain in his side, he sprinted for the bathroom and managed to get his head into the toilet before vomiting. He knelt there for a few minutes, intermittently puking and spitting. When his stomach was finally empty, he flushed, rinsed his mouth out a few times, and staggered back to bed.

When he recovered sufficiently, he began thinking. He hoped that she would come back, but what would he say to her if she did? He'd apologize, certainly, but would that be enough? What else could he say to her?

He shook his head. He couldn't plan for that. He had no idea how to help anyone with this kind of trauma. He briefly thought about suggesting she see a counselor, but immediately squashed the idea.

"Rock," he could hear her growl, looking at him with the eyes of a wolf. "You call me crazy again, and I'll put a bullet through your fucking skull!"

In this city, such a thing would be a sign of weakness, and weakness was punished by death. Here, if something hurt you, you toughed it out. If you could, you hurt it back. The lucky ones had some friends or a gang they could count on for help. The unlucky were fed to the Cleaner.

Rock supposed that Revy was lucky to have his place to come back to. Then he realized he'd just thought of a rape survivor as "lucky" and closed his eyes again in shame.

His fear mixed with disgust and sadness that threatened to bring back his nausea. He needed help. He needed to know what to do, but he had no one that he could ask. He didn't know anything about helping someone who had been raped. To his credit, though, he correctly guessed that step one was to not tell anyone else without the victim's approval.

He pulled his laptop out from under the bed and began scouring the internet for tips. At first, he made very little progress. There just weren't many resources available, not for survivors, nor the people who loved them. After multiple searches, he felt himself growing frustrated, but the thought of Revy in pain forced him to continue. He altered his strategy. He searched for testimonies by rape survivors, trying to get a pattern. Trying to understand.

After reading a few of their stories, he drew a notepad and pen out from his bedside table and began jotting some notes. Several of the stories had a similar pattern, and he had some ideas. He also got lucky and found an article by an actual therapist with some helpful tips. After filling a page, he took a deep breath and looked back over what he wrote.

Do not try to "fix" or "save" her.

You can't

You don't have to

Listen, listen, listen!

Ask intelligent questions

Do not set a time limit

Do not silence her

Do not walk away

Admit when you don't understand

"I want to understand what you went through"

"I'm here to listen"

DON'T try to make suggestions. Just listen.

DON'T try to "fix" things with one line

NO - "Everything happens for a reason."

NO - "You're so much stronger because of this."

NO BULLSHIT - Just listen

Good things to say

"I'm so sorry that happened to you."

"I'm here to listen."

"I can't imagine what you're going through."

"I want to understand."

"I'm not going anywhere."

BAD things to say

"Why didn't you fight?"

"Why didn't you report it?"

Any question that starts with, "Why did you…"

Any question that might suggest it's her fault

Were you drunk? - BAD

What were you wearing? - BAD

Any comparison to anything that you went through.

Were you raped? If not, you have no valid comparison.

Rock nodded slowly. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. He shut his laptop. It was only now he realized how hungry he was and how much his side was hurting. He took another pill with water from his bedside table and then got up to get some food.

As he ate a bowl of cereal in the kitchen his cell phone rang. It was Chang.

"Why, hello, Mr. Two Hands," Chang said, referring to Rock by the nickname he used when referencing his relationship to Revy. "How's your side?"

"Hello, Dai Lo," Rock replied. "It's getting better. How can I help you?"

Chang looked around as he leaned against the hood of the SUV. He was surrounded by his guards, but he realized now that Revy had left.

"This just got a lot bigger than you, my friend. Someone just tried to take me out, and they used a hell of a lot of firepower. My men are going over what's left of them now. Doesn't look like there are any survivors, but we might still find something useful."

Rock's heart skipped a beat. He grabbed a napkin and began jotting some notes.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Chang smiled. You might almost call them friends. He resisted the urge to take a jab at him and instead went back to business.

"Well, they didn't manage to pump me full of lead, so I'm glad for that. Whoever they are, they sent three SUVs with a load of guys with AKs and grenades, but they weren't exactly the Flying Tigers. Two Hands and I took care of them on our own."

Rock froze in the middle of writing the word "SUV" on his napkin.

"Revy was there?" he asked.

"Yep," Chang answered. "I think the action did her some good too. Or at least," he dropped his voice so his men wouldn't hear, "At distracted her from whatever it is you two are fighting about."

Rock's shoulders sagged. He'd made her so angry she'd gone to Chang? He wanted to smash his head into the table.

"Is she okay?"

Chang's voice returned to normal.

"She's fine. Saved my ass from being roadkill. Did seem a bit odd when we were talking though. I'll tell you about that a bit later if you want."

Rock nodded. Chang was avoiding details of his and Revy's relationship while in earshot of his men. Rock appreciated the courtesy.

"Thank you, Dai Lo. Do you think our attacks could be connected?"

"Yep," Chang answered. "I don't get it either, but my gut says it's not a coincidence. You and I are two of the biggest players in this city. If someone was trying to take it over, it makes sense they'd try to take us out."

Rock nodded.

"I agree. But who?"

Chang decided to address the issue at the source.

"Do you think ...she's involved?"

Rock knew immediately he was talking about Balalaika; he also knew how important his answer to that question was.

"No. If you want to know what I think, we can meet later. Can't say on the phone. You still have the paper?"

Rock and Chang had coordinated quite well since the end of the Hotel Moscow war. They both wanted a more peaceful and prosperous Roanapur. Like Balalaika, Chang had often called on Rock's services to mediate disputes, coordinate investments, interface with the police, gather intel, and handle a host of other supporting roles that made Chang's life all the simpler. Chang liked simplicity. He also appreciated the value of discretion and security. Rock had presented him with a blank sudoku puzzle at the end of one of their meetings with an explanation that if he ever wanted to meet privately, they could discuss how to fill it out over the phone. Rock had a copy of the same puzzle. Anyone listening in would be clueless, and only Chang and Rock would know when and where to meet. Chang recognized the reference.

"So I do, mastermind. Shall I call again in an hour?"

"Please do. And thanks again."

Chang hung up.

Rock looked at his cell phone for a minute. His gut reaction was to call Revy to see that she was okay, but he hesitated. What if it pissed her off even more? Finally, he decided there was nothing wrong with showing the woman he loved that he cared for her. He dialed, but there was no answer. Chang would have told him if she was hurt, which meant she may have ignored the call intentionally. Rock slumped forward in his seat for a minute, but eventually he decided there was nothing he could do on that front for now.

He stood up and made his way over to a large painting on the wall. He slid it aside to reveal a map of Roanapur covered in notes and outlines. He slid multiple copies of the same map aside until he got to a blank one.

He began marking locations and writing notes in the margins. A red "X" where his first and second attacks had taken place, and one over the Triad office for Chang. First attempt: one Russian with a pistol after they tested his armor. Second: a van of gunmen with Uzis. Now: three full SUVs with AKs and grenades for Chang.

He stepped back. These attacks, it seemed, were becoming less precise and more expensive. It was almost as if someone had banked heavily on their first plan succeeding, and they were now desperate to make up for the failure. Who could it be? And why?

He began jotting more notes in the margins of the map.

Who had the resources for this and the motive? The main mafia leaders in the city were Balalaika, Chang, Ronnie, and Abrego. Chang had just survived his own attack. Revy was a witness. Still, Rock supposed he could have faked it to throw off the scent. However close they might be, he was still a mob boss. He wrote "5%" next to Chang's name, indicating his level of suspicion.

Next was Balalaika. Rock couldn't rule anyone out at this point, but he had serious doubts. Whoever was behind this didn't mind losing dozens of men. That wasn't her. Besides, not for nothing; she loved Chang. Rock wrote a "5%" next to her name as well.

Next were Ronnie and Abrego, leaders of the Italian Mafia and Columbian Cartel, respectively. One or both of them, Rock felt confident, were the likeliest culprit. They could be acting alone or together. He agreed with Chang that the quickest way to climb the ladder in this city was to take out the people above you. But why now? They'd still have to contend with Balalaika and the police, and it was a big risk. He wrote "40%" next to both of their names.

Rock's side ached again. He'd been standing for too long. He staggered back to the couch and plopped down. He covered his eyes with his hand. He wished he was well again. He wanted to go into the office and do some actual work- maybe interface with Benny. He wanted to figure out who was trying to tear apart the city he'd worked so hard to rebuild. More than anything though, he wished Revy was home.

Revy yawned, as she drove away from the gun range past the line of Triad cars that had appeared since Chang's first call. The momentary rush of adrenaline she'd experienced during their shootout had given way to boredom while she waited for him. Now she was just tired, but she didn't want to go home just yet.

Her phone rang. She recognized the number as Rock's.

"God damn it," she growled.

She let it ring a few times and then threw it aside. She had no doubt that Rock would want to continue their conversation from earlier, and she couldn't face that yet. The chance that Rock wouldn't want her anymore, or to convince her that the world was still worth living in, scared her more than a firefight. She cast her mind around for something to do, and realized that she hadn't drunk with Eda in a while. She could sure as shit use the booze.

She parked in front of the Church and approached the chapel doors.

Eda sighed as she hung up the phone in her bedroom. Things were just not going her way lately. Suddenly, there was a knock on her door. It was Rico. Apparently, Two Hands was calling for her outside. She put on her nuns' habit and sunglasses and went out to meet her.

"Been awhile, Two Hands," Eda said as she opened the door.

Revy nodded.

"Uh-huh," she answered. "Wanna drink?"

Eda jerked her head towards the altar and stepped aside. They strode towards their usual table.

A few hands of poker and a couple glasses of whiskey later and Revy found herself forgetting about Rock. She was losing the poker game. To distract herself, she told Eda about the attack on Chang. Revy recounted in detail how they'd slaughtered three SUVs worth of idiots. Eda seemed interested. But then she asked about the thing Revy was hoping to avoid.

"By the way, how's Romeo?"

Revy rolled her eyes as she took another shot.

"Same useless little crap he always is," she answered. "Only now he's in bed for twenty-two hours a day, and I've got to babysit."

Eda raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't he get shot several times?" she asked.

Revy shrugged and raised the bet. Eda called, but she wasn't willing to let this go just yet.

"Hey," Eda teased. "If you don't want him anymore," she grinned, "I might just snatch him up."

Revy prickled.

"Tsk. Fat chance, bitch."

Eda smirked. She liked poking this particular point.

"Oh, I can see it now," she persisted with a theatrical flourish of her hand. "I'll be kneeling by my bedside, praying to the good Lord. 'Dear God, send me a man to love me like the lady I am.' And right then, I'll get a call. Well, well, well, if it isn't dear old Rocky boy. Now, whatever could he want at this hour? And I'll answer," she held up a hand to her ear to simulate a phone. Revy scowled. "'Hey there, Romeo. Long time, no see! Now what can the good Lord do for you on this fine evening?"

She started fake-crying to simulate Rock. Revy gritted her teeth.

"(sniff) E-Eda?" she said in a pitch that more closely resembled Rock. "Revy's being mean to me again. Can I come get some of the comfort of the good Lord?"

Her voice changed back to her own.

"Why, sure you can, Rocky!" she continued. "Come on down to the church, and let me help you forget all about that wild boar!"

Revy seethed.

"Can it, Eda."

Eda looked at her.

"Seriously, Revy. You've been with him for how long now? You keep dumping on him, and you might not be with him for much longer."

Revy's face cracked into a smirk.

"Really?" she asked, drawing an envelope out of her pocket. "Cuz I got something here that says otherwise."

She drew out Rock's letter from the envelope and passed it to Eda. Eda took it and started to read. Her face had changed from curiosity to an open-mouthed gape by the end. Her eyes were so wide that Revy could see the whites over her sunglasses.

Suddenly, Eda smashed her fist down onto the table and rounded on Revy.

"Fuck you, bitch!" Eda roared.

Revy burst into laughter, as Eda continued to rant.

"Breakfast?!" she continued, raging. "Every fucking Saturday?! I want a man to make me breakfast! And he wants to carry you into his house?! Fuck you!"

Revy rocked backward and forward in her chair laughing.

Eda settled back in her seat, pouting.

"Damn it. How'd you land him again?" she asked with her arms folded.

Revy raised an eyebrow.

"Hey! I saved his ass a buncha' times."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

They played a few more hands in silence. Suddenly, Eda had a thought.

"Hey," she pointed at Revy with her glass, "You're on babysitting duty, so why are you here?"

Revy stared at her cards.

"Mind your own shit," she muttered.

Eda perked up.

"Uh-oh. You two have a fight or something?"

Revy thought about it for a minute.

"Nah. Not really," she answered. "I just... had to get out of there."

"He do something?" Eda pressed.

Revy glanced up at Eda. She was the closest thing Revy had to a friend. She decided to see where this would go.

"He asked me to tell him about my past."

"Uh-oh. You get up to the orphanage?" Eda asked.

She and Revy had first met at the same orphanage in the states years ago.

"Nah. I had so much shit I only got up to fourteen. Christ," she added, slumping forward on the table and laying her head on her arms. "My life's been shit."

Eda nodded.

"So, why'd he want to know all that?"

Revy thought for a second.

"I forget," she pointed to his letter. "I think he said."

Eda opened his letter again.

"Because he loves you and wants to know more about you," she cooed. "Heh, romantic fuck. I'll give him that. So, that's why you had to get out?"

Revy looked at her cards.

"Yeah. It's hard to talk about that crap."

"Are you going back to him tonight?"

Revy thought about it for a second.

"Yeah," she said finally. "I got some of my stuff there. If it doesn't work out, I'll head out tomorrow."

Even as she said it, Revy felt a chasm open up in her chest.

Eda smirked.

"Hallelujah! There's hope for me yet!"

Revy glared at her for a moment and folded.

They played until darkness fell. Revy lost three hundred dollars and decided it was time to face the music. She told Eda to fuck herself and stalked out to her car. As soon as she left, Eda pulled out her phone to make a call.

Rock was sitting up in bed when he heard the apartment door slam open.

"Revy?" he called.

She stomped back to their room and threw open the door.

"What?" she barked.

Rock looked at her for a moment. Her eyes were full of fury, but she didn't seem injured.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she yelled. "I'm hunky-dory! Anything else?!"

Rock shook his head.

"Baller!"

She stormed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. As she washed off the dust from the day, she realized that he hadn't told her to leave yet. She weighed her options. She could try seducing him. It's not like he ever turned her down when she wanted some. But he was still recovering. Hell, he could barely stand. She smacked her hand into the wall in frustration. What else could she do?

She finished in the shower and dried off. She changed into her best pair of cotton panties and fluffed her hair. If she was going down, she was going down swinging.

Rock didn't say anything, as she stalked into their bedroom half-naked. She lay down next to him on the bed, facing away. She didn't get under the covers. She was hoping he'd notice her ass.

"I heard you saved Chang," Rock tried. "It's a good thing. He's in your debt now."

"Whatever," she muttered.

Rock realized they were both thinking about the elephant in the room.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"Save it," she spat.

Rock felt a fresh wave of guilt wash over him.

"You don't have to tell me anything else. I didn't mean to… I'm sorry."

"Whatever," she muttered.

Rock looked over at her. He had never felt so much sympathy for anyone in his life. He desperately wanted to hold her. To tell her again how much he admired and loved her. That what happened to her was not her fault and that she was infinitely stronger than anything he'd imagined. The trouble was she was still lying there with her back turned to him. Nothing about her body language indicated she wanted any of that, and he was afraid of upsetting her again.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"You do, and I'll kick your ass," she retorted. Then, she drew a deep breath. "No, Rock," she said more gently. "I don't want you to leave."

She fell silent for a moment.

"I never told anyone... any of that before."

"I won't tell anyone- ever," he answered.

She turned over in bed to glare at him. She intended to ensure his commitment with a threat, but the look on his face stopped her. His sorrow and regret showed in the curvature of his eyebrows and mouth. She felt her anger fall away.

"Yeah," she said. "I know you won't."

Jerkily, as if afraid of upsetting her, he held out his arms to her. She nodded and sat up. They hugged there, sitting up on the bed. Revy was thankful she didn't need to cry anymore, and she felt better in his arms. She closed her eyes in comfort, letting his warmth cocoon her. She felt tired, but she felt the iron bands loosen in her chest and let her breathe again. She let him crush her gently against his chest as her cheek rested on his shoulder.

Suddenly, she felt him start to shake and breath heavily.

"Oh, my god," he said, as he sobbed, "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry."

Revy didn't mind anymore. She was glad that he had been the first one to break. She tied her arms around his back and let him cry.

Rock continued to intermittently sob into her shoulder for a few more minutes. She let them lay down while he kept at it. He kept repeating how sorry he was and how much he loved her. Revy kept her arms around him. She felt relieved. It didn't seem like he would send her away. But more than that, she found his crying oddly comforting. As if he was shedding the tears that she couldn't allow from herself. Part of her felt oddly proud that her story had made Rock cry. Eventually, he calmed down.

"You okay there, partner?" she asked into his ear.

Rock nodded.

"Yeah. I'm so sorry Revy. What you went through- no one should go through that."

"No shit." she replied.

"It should never have happened. It's disgusting."

She smirked.

"Hey, it can't happen again," she answered with false positivity. "I got my cutlasses now."

Rock fell silent for a few moments. Then…

"If I'd been there, I'd have tried something," he persisted. "Yelled, screamed, punched, kicked. I don't know if I could have stopped him, but I would've tried!"

She smiled at his bravado.

"Hold on there, Rambo," she joked. "You ever killed anyone? Like, for real?"

Rock hesitated for a moment. Then…

"Yes," he answered.

Revy started, and drew back to stare at him.

"His name was Johann Fischer," he answered the question in her eyes.

She felt something distant stir in her memory, but she couldn't place it.

"Who?" she asked.

"A German tourist. He was visiting during the Ivan war. I knew that to bring Chang and Balalaika to the table, I had to demonstrate the risk of international scrutiny. Nothing brings international scrutiny like the death of one of your people."

Revy stared at him. Part of her just couldn't believe it.

"Wait, you killed him yourself?" she asked.

It was a relevant question. She knew he'd had the former police chief, Watsup, killed as part of his plan to end that war. But she'd always assumed he'd just used others to do the dirty work. Somehow, she couldn't imagine him with a gun in his hand.

He nodded, looking her right in the eye.

"I did it to get you out of that battle. And I'd do it again."

Revy stared at him, utterly speechless.

Rock couldn't tell if she was impressed or horrified by this revelation, but he decided to go for broke.

"Revy, can I... kiss you?"

She blinked.

"Huh? Since when do you fuckin' ask?"

He dropped his chin to his chest and looked away from her. He blushed slightly.

"It just seemed right somehow."

She thought about his question for a moment. Suddenly, she realized that no one had ever shown so much respect for her own control of her body without the threat of her guns. She felt a warm wave of emotions spread slowly up from her stomach to her throat, and a small smile spread gently across her lips.

"Can't say I'd mind, buddy."

He brushed her hair behind her ear and kissed her. He broke up the first serious kiss with a series of more playful shorter ones. He bounced around on her lips like a bouncy castle, and Revy felt laughter bubble up in her chest. She flipped him over onto his back, as she laughed into his shoulder with a mixture of joy and relief. She couldn't quite get over how, after learning all the shit about her he had, the man who she wanted more than anything on earth still wanted her.

When she calmed down enough to stop laughing, she propped herself up on her elbows to look into his eyes. There was something new between them now. Even in the submarine, when she had told him about the night she spent in jail, she hadn't told him she'd been raped. Somehow it had seemed too dirty for him then, too dark. But now he knew. And he was still lying there.

Somewhere in her chest, she felt the part of her he held sway over, growing a few sizes. It didn't bother her.

She bent forward and kissed him again. Kissed him deeply and gently over and over. Until she felt a new desire rise up in her. Could she indulge it in his current state?

"You wanna do it?" she asked in between kisses. "Can you do it?"

He hesitated for a moment.

"I think so," he answered. "Just… can you be on top? And be gentle?"

She smiled in between kisses.

"Sure thing, baby."

She kissed him one last time before ripping the covers off of him.

She made sure to collapse onto his uninjured side after they finished. It wasn't their usual lovemaking, but it was good.

Rock groaned and moaned under her.

"Baby?" she asked, snapping out of her post-coital trance.

"My chest," he groaned. "The meds."

She scrambled off of him and opened his drawer. While searching for the medicine bottle, she saw his notepad. Several of the words caught her eye, but then something rolled in front of her that made her pause even more. It was a bullet. A nine millimeter shell. Why the fuck did he have that?

"Revy?" Rock asked, clearly in pain.

She jerked out of her trance, popped the lid of his medication and helped him take the pill with water.

"You okay, babe?" she asked.

He smiled and winked.

"Totally worth it," he rasped.

She snorted with laughter. Even in pain, he still had his sense of humor. She got back onto her own side of the bed.

"Oh, by the way," he said.

She looked at him.

"Chang and I had a call a few hours ago. We're gonna try to meet tomorrow at two o' clock at the docks. Can you drive me?"

"Babe," she objected. "You can barely stand."

Rock nodded and shrugged.

"He and I have some things we can't discuss over the phone. This has to be done."

Revy still didn't like the idea, but she knew the attacks weren't going to wait until he got better.

"Alright," she sighed. "But I'll be close."

Rock smiled.

"And that makes me feel a whole lot better."

She beamed at him. They kissed again, and Revy smiled as she fell asleep.

Author's note:

Thank you to everyone who has read and commented on my story thus far. Any and all feedback is appreciated. There are a couple of things I'd like to clarify from this and previous chapters.

The "Flying Tigers" referenced by Chang in this chapter is a nickname for the "Special Duties Unit," an elite unit of the Hong Kong police force. Prior to entering the Triad, Mr. Chang was an officer of the Hong Kong police.

One guest reviewer of chapter 6 asked, "is Revy jealous of boss Chang?" It's hard to know the full extent of Revy's feelings. However, in this branch of the Black Lagoon fan fiction she and Chang have a complicated history together. In chapter 6 and 7 of Sweet Attack (the story that precedes this one) we learn that Chang bailed her out of prison and trained her to dual-wield her pistols. However, when it became clear he did not intend to defy Triad protocol and keep her permanently she tried to seduce him. This is what he was referring to when he referenced her, "red lace." Later, Revy had to watch him give more affection to Balalaika than he did to her. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Revy was both deeply hurt and humiliated by Chang's rejection and is unable to get over it, hence her and Chang's argument in the last chapter.

If anyone would like to discuss this story in depth, please leave a review or message me on Reddit. I'm u/LeroyJ12.

Thank you again.