"The Porpoise of it all"

(Or, "Goin' Coconuts!")

"WELL, THE LAST TIME AS YOU CAN RECALL, ROCKY NEARLY GOT DIGESTED BY NONE OTHER THAN FRED THE LION, MANSERVANT TO HENRY CABOT HENHOUSE THE III, BUT WAS SAVED IN THE NICK OF TIME. WHO COULD'VE DONE THIS FIENDISH PLOT?!"

"Ju SERIOUSLY vanna know?!" Boris replied.

"Ees us, dollink!" Natasha smirked. "Alvays ees!"

"NOW, WHILE BULLWINKLE AND ROCKY WERE ON TOP OF THE BANANA BOAT (which is a real thing most resorts have for those of you who may not know), BORIS AND NATASHA PREPARED THEIR PLAN OF ATTACK...coconuts?!"

"Not just any coconuts, boyo..." Boris pulled out a coconut with a fuse tied to it. "Vhen dey blow up, moose and sqvirrel gonna smell like piña colada!"

"And here dey come now, dollink!" Natasha replied.

"SURE ENOUGH, ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE WALKING DOWN THE BEACH. BORIS AND NATASHA LOBBED THEIR COCONUTS FROM THE TOP OF A PALM TREE AT THE MOOSE AND SQUIRREL BUT THEY BARELY EVEN EXPLODED!"

"RASKOLNIKOV! VHY! YOU! NO! KABOOMSKY!!?" Boris exclaimed, punctuating his words with jumping, completely frustrated. "Ju NADSAT coconuts!"

"Dollink don't look so stressed." Natasha hugged Boris. "Vait, look zere!"

"BULLWINKLE HAPPENED TO PICK UP ONE OF THE COCONUT BOMBS, UNAWARE OF THE FUSE."

"Hey Rocky!" He hollered. "Lookit' that, a coc-a-nut! I'm gonna drink what's in it!"

"You might wanna crack it on that big rock over there.." Rocky replied.

"Da...crack eet on beeg rock..." Boris replied, he and Natasha still watching them, while rubbing his chubby little hands together. "And zen go KABOOMSKY!"

"AND SO, BULLWINKLE WALKED OVER TO THE LARGE ROCK THAT ROCKY WAS TALKING ABOUT, AND SLAMMED IT DOWN...but it did not crack."

"Huh...must be a thick shell." He replied, staring at the coconut. "Kinda like me."

"BULLWINKLE SLAMMED IT DOWN ONTO THE ROCK AGAIN, BUT IT DIDN'T BREAK FOR SOME REASON. ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT APPEARED AS THOUGH SOMETHING CAME FROM THE WATER."

"Rocky, what's that?!" Bullwinkle asked, rushing over to the water.

"IT WAS A PORPOISE, AND THE OCEAN-DWELLING MAMMAL REALLY LOOKED LIKE IT WANTED TO PLAY WITH BULLWINKLE AND ROCKY."

"He seems to really like that coconut!" Rocky noticed. "Why don't you toss it to him?"

"Okay!" Bullwinkle replied, throwing the coconut to the porpoise.

"THE PORPOISE NOTICED THE COCONUT, AND BALANCED IT ON HIS NOSE."

"Wowee!" Bullwinkle exclaimed. "He can do tricks!"

"See if he can balance any more coconuts!" Rocky replied.

"Alright..." Bullwinkle picked up another coconut. "Let's just see!"

"ONE BY ONE, BULLWINKLE THREW MORE AND MORE EXPLOSIVE COCONUTS, BUT THEY DID NOT BLOW UP, THE PORPOISE JUST BALANCED THEM ON HIS NOSE."

"This guy is just the coolest!" Rocky exclaimed, eyes widened and amazed at the sight of what the porpoise could do.

"THEN, THE PORPOISE STARTED TOSSING THE COCONUTS BACK ONE BY ONE...BUT HE MISSED CONSIDERABLY..."

"Uh, Natasha?" Boris asked, greatly concerned.

"I see zem too, dollink." Natasha replied.

(*KABOOMSKY!!*)

"THE COCONUTS EXPLODED DIRECTLY ON THE NOGOODNIKS. THE FACES OF BORIS AND NATASHA WERE NOW COMPLETELY BLACKENED."

"Owsky." Boris replied.

"I hate zat dolphin." Natasha replied as well, then she and Boris fell from the palm tree.

"MEANWHILE ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE SAT DOWN ON THE BEACH IN FRONT OF A PALM TREE, WATCHING THE BEAUTIFUL HAWAIIAN SUNSET."

"Ahh, I love Hawaii." Rocky spoke.

"Me too, buddy." Bullwinkle replied. "Me too."

"WELL, LOOKS LIKE THAT'S THE END OF THIS EPISODE, BE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR—" The narrator started, then was interrupted.

"Cheeseburger and a pair a mice,

Some lady's wide girth with an onion slice.." Peachfuzz sang, still clothe-less but this time floating on a rubber duck inner tube and playing a ukulele.

"Not too perpendicular not too Miami Vice,

I'm just a cheeseburger and a pair of mice!"

"Uh...yeah, well anyway, BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE!"

End.

Music Credits:

⁃Margaritaville (Parody) originally by Jimmy Buffet

⁃Cheeseburger in Paradise (Parody) originally by Jimmy Buffet