The Trickster God
The Other
The Other had more free time then most, he had his orders, but most of the time there was nothing to do. The place he lived was dark and stony, it had no seats nor tables, not that he knew what it was like to have seats and tables. All he could do was wait for the pieces to fall in place. His master wanted Infinity Stones, he would get him infinity stones.
There were two Infinity stones on Terra, the plan was to send someone to retrieve them. The question in his mind was "Who?", he was in the middle of his musings when something strange happened, a helmet fell at his feet. No signs of it's owner could be found, an idea struck him like a lightning bolt. He knew the right follower of Thanos for the job, he would give her the chitauri army as well.
The Trickster God
The Ancient One
It was the morning of 2 February 2012, and the diner clock read nine-fifteen. Yao had received a message to meet Loki here at nine, he was late, as usual. The waitress didn't bat an eye at her outfit, she only asked if she could bring her something, Yao asked for a black tea. She sat at a corner table, overlooking the door.
The diner was a typical one, a counter with stools and tables by the window. The place was empty, it was a Thursday, people were probably at work or school by that time. There was only one waitress and in her name tag you could read the name Maria, she was an elderly looking lady. When her ordered tea was given to her, it was surprisingly good.
"Are you waiting for Loki?" Maria asked, with a kind smile on her face.
"Yes, how did you know?" Yao responds with a question.
"Oh, he told me he was coming and was meeting a friend here, the clothes were a given!" She was wearing her sorcerer clothes, she had stopped trying to blend in about a hundred years ago.
Loki had a way of communicating, notes. He would write little notes in pieces of paper and leave them in places he knew you would see. It was how he had arranged their meeting at that diner, it was probably how he had notified Maria. To Yao it wasn't a surprise that Loki knew the waitress, he knew people everywhere. One time they had met in a little tea house in Taiwan that she had chosen, he knew the owner.
A man came through the front door, at six foot four he stood on the tall side of life. He wore a slim-fitting three piece suit with an overcoat, all black but his green scarf. His hair was jet black and reaching below his ears. The usual smirk and the twinkling emerald eyes in place. Loki was there, he was late. He turned to Maria and spoke.
"Well, aren't you looking lovely today darling?"
"I'm always looking lovely, sugar! Your friend is waiting for you, very ungentlemen-like of you to keep someone waiting like that"
"You're completely right, as always, Maria!" Loki smiled at the waitress and turned to Yao's table, taking a seat before her.
That morning she had found a note at her tea table, it said "The sling ring was very much helpful, meet me at Westway Diner on 9th at 9- Loki ;)". It was nice hearing from him, they hadn't talked in months before that day, but something unexpected had happened. He had used the sling ring she'd given him.
"It would appear that spring it's on it's way, the groundhog didn't see his own shadow!" The man started, of course, with a random fact of trivia. "Glad to see you in good health, Yao, it's been a while…"
"Yes, indeed… But something happened, or is going to happen, and, by your message, you didn't see it coming…" The situation was probably serious, but she had an amused smile on her face. It was amusing to watch Loki squirm, he usually did that whenever he didn't fully comprehend what was going on.
"You are always direct. You're also, infuriatingly, always right. I fell from a bridge, but I didn't fall where I was expecting to. That means I don't know what to expect from the near future." He said in the most serious tone she had ever seen him use. "But that does mean something new is going to transpire!" And just like that the smugly smile was back on his face.
"I'm going to assume the bridge is the magical Bifrost, connector of worlds. But I don't see how you could know where you'd fall, after all, a millimeter to the side and your destination is a completely different world."
"Yes, I just thought the plot would maintain itself, like it has done so far. I tried to change things, but it didn't work. I thought I would fall into Thanos domains, pretend to get mind controlled and play the bad guy for a while. Now there is no telling the future." It was an interesting sentence, 'no telling the future', she thought. One of them knew one future, the most likely one, and the other knew multiple, but they were all changeable.
"You know what Thanos wants, do you think that his plan will dramatically change just because you are not in it?" Yao asked.
Loki contemplated. He might have lived for hundreds of years, but his maturing wasn't the same as a human being. He was in something similar to his early twenties and Yao knew that in his previous life he hadn't gotten very far. He needed someone to talk to, about the future and the past, and she was that person for him.
"You are right, as usual. He will send someone to invade Earth, to retrieve the Infinity Stone we have. They will be given the chitauri army and likely the mind stone. It seems I'll get to play an avenger, this will be fun!"
They traded smiles as Maria brought a plate with two breakfast burritos in it. "The usual." She said.
The Trickster God
Maria Hill
The black SUV she was driving was silent, Nick Fury was not a man of many words, even with people he trusted, he was one that prefered the essential communication only. That didn't mean he wasn't what can only be described as "sassy", oh no, he was.
Too many people would let themselves be deceived by his looks. A tall black man in a leather trench coat and an eye patch over his left eye. His clothing would make him a great James Bond Villain , one could argue it was a great disguise for a super international spy, Maria wouldn't. She knew it was the directors melodramatic tendencies flaring up.
Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. had started in the aftermaths of World War II, Howard Stark had been looking for Steve Rogers when he found The Cube. He believed its energy was key to many humankind problems, so, after co-founding S.H.I.E.L.D, he started studying it.
After that, in the 1980s, Dr. Wendy Lawson, joined the Project. Her intention was to harness the Tesseract's energy to create a Light-Speed Engine. She was successful, but an accident claimed the life of the doctor and a pilot. Years later Hill would learn the truth of an intergalactic race war.
They had been studying the Tesseract for months, every time they seemed to understand it, something changed. Changed its energy peaks, its reads and even its
colour, if it was frustrating to her, she could only imagine the actual scientists' disappointment.
The project's lead man was Dr. Erik Selvig, something about him gave Maria an uneasiness feel. He was passionate about his research and, doubtlessly, intelligent, but she knew he was a man that would always put the discovery before everything, including his and his peers' safety. That was a security risk.
As she drove into the research facility, past the sign that read Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility, NASA, United States Air Force, S.H.I.E.L.D. and World Security Council, a shiver went down her spine. Her instincts screamed that something was wrong. Fury, who was on the passenger seat, noticed it.
"Something wrong, agent?" He asked.
She parked the car.
"Something feels strange, sir!" She answered
"Well, I'm not Strange, I'm not a sorcerer, you see…" Both Maria and Fury jumped into action, they drawed their hand guns and pointed at the new passenger. A man was sitting on the backseat, he wasn't there a minute ago, hell, he wasn't there a second ago.
"I don't know who you are, but I am tempted to shoot first and ask later!" Nick spoke up.
"Peace, mortals! I'm not here to harm you. You probably remember my brother, Thor. I'm Loki and I came to help you." The, now identified, Loki said. The Director lowered his gun
To say Maria Hill was confused, is to belittle it. She wasn't there when Coulson met Thor, the God of Thunder, but she heard stories of giants made of ice and warriors of superhuman strength. So it is understandable her surprise, when a man appears out of thin air.
He was smiling. His smile reminded her of a cat that caught its prey, white teeth shining. He wasn't as large as his brother seemed to be, by the pictures on his file, but he was tall and had some muscles in him. He was dressed in a black leather jacket and a white T-shirt, when he put his arms up in surrender, she was able to read the sentence printed on it. It said "Low Key".
"I beg your pardon, Scherbatsky, but could you put your gun down, I don't fancy being shot…" She pointed her gun away from him, but keeped it on her hand. Fury put his back on the holster hidden by his coat.
"Okay then, mister "I'm here to help", what is it that you can help us with, that you couldn't wait for us to get out of the car." Nick started.
"Straight to the point it is. The Tesseract is not a power source, it is power itself. Inside it there is a Stone, there are six of them, each connected to a fundamental aspect of the universe. This is the Space Stone." Loki told them.
Maria Hill was not a nuclear physicist genius, but she wasn't unintelligent. She had been the best in the military and one of the best in S.H.I.E.L.D. so she was able to understand where Loki was going with his story.
"It can open bridges" She said "If it is space itself, it can bring together two points in the universe, easily!"
Loki's smile fell from his face and he gave her a surprised look, and just like that his smile came back. She could argue it was brighter than before.
"Exactly, and something is trying to come here pay you guys a visit."
"Do you know what the threat is?" Fury asked.
"I don't know who will be coming through the portal, but I know who sent them, their army and what they want." Loki responded. "I also know about the Avengers Initiative, I know it is the only way to stop Thanos."
"Their boss?"
"Yes, ugly purple fella, I know how to beat him, but he won't come here unless he deem us important enough."
"And you have a plan?"
"Yes"
A/N
648 followers and 100 reviews, it's amazing. I did not expect this much interest in a funnier lighthearted self insert fic.
I wanna thank everyone that offered a help as Beta readers or as ideas people. If you have any ideas, please pm me. As I said before, there are no plans whatsoever for this fic and maybe your ideas are better than mine.
Few facts:
I choose Loki because of his sense of humor, wich seems fairly similar to mine.
I'm Brazillian and in Brazil we write Brazil with an "S", so it's Brasil.