To My Dearest Daughter,

Ten years, ten years have gone by since I got to hold you in my arms since I last heard your voice and since I got to hear your voice. A lot has happened in the ten years since you left us.

Well, Pj married Skylar, guess you were right, they were made for each other. He's got three children, Teddy, she's eight now and is exactly like you. If I thought reincarnation was a thing, I'd swear you were her. They also have five-year-old Mark and six-month-old Bob. They are the cutest little boys you'd ever see. They are so happy Teddy and after your death, I didn't think I'd see Pj happy again.

Gabe's married and has a little one on the way, which is bizarre as out of all of you I didn't think he wanted children. He said after your death he didn't want to go through what I went through. Taylor seems to have made him realize that having children is a wonderful thing. He's thirty-six now, my little boy is all grown up.

Charlie is twenty, yeah that's right twenty. She's moved out with her girlfriend; I don't know if you'd be shocked by that. Apparently, Charlie got in contact with Ivy. Did she ever tell you she was bisexual by the way? I didn't see that coming. Anyway, yes, she got in contact with Ivy and together they told me that Charlie was in a relationship with a wonderful girl called Hannah. You know what Hannah did when she first came around, she asked to see your last video diary. She told Charlie it was okay if not but Charlie let her. Afterward she looked your father and I in the eyes and said that she'd do her hardest to make sure that we never had to live through losing another child. I didn't quite know how to respond to that but I smiled anyway. She makes Charlie so happy though, they're planning on getting married at some point.

As for Toby, he's a month off being eighteen. He's such a gentleman, he's top of his class and on track to receive a football scholarship to one of the best universities in America. You'd be so proud of him.

So yeah, I currently have a thirty-six, thirty-one-, twenty- and seventeen-year-old. It's official I'm old. I should also have a thirty-four-year-old but you never did make it there, did you? I hated you for that, you broke my heart. Sometimes I wonder if I failed as a mother because I outlived my child. I'm told that if I outlived a hero which really doesn't make any sense. You were barely an adult, you had so much life to live. Sometimes I wonder what your life would have been like if you had lived. Would you be married? Or would you be changing the world one country at a time? Would I currently be helping you pick out a wedding dress or helping you change your child's diapers? I really don't know.

Speaking of Diapers and marriage I don't know if anyone told you about what happened to Spencer. After your death he fell into a really bad crowd and started doing things he shouldn't, he overdosed a couple of times before I lost contact with him. Last I heard he was living in a halfway house.

So, there is a purpose to this letter Teddy, I have some news, some sad news actually. Your fathers dying, I know in his letter he told you about his alcoholism. He's been sober for three years but due to the sheer amount of alcohol he used to drink his liver is failing. I wish I could say I didn't see it coming but truth be told I lost your father the day you died. If we had no children, I can honestly say I don't think we'd be together. Still the past three years whilst he's been sober it felt like I had the love of my life back. Now I don't blame you, Teddy, truly I don't but could you please watch for him? He's going to be happy to see you.

I miss you, Teddy; I really truly do but I know that one day we will be reunited.

Love you with all my heart,

Mum x