April 17, 1912

He and Rose don't have a room for the first night on the Carpathia-- or rather, the first night out of the infirmary for them. Jack woke up yesterday morning, Rose warm at his side. The last remains of the handcuffs are gone from his wrists; Rose said they took them off while he was out with only minimal questions about how exactly he had ended up in them in the first place. His wrists are still tender from where the metal froze to his skin. Before noon the nurse had tired of them whispering to one another, kissing, and being under the same blankets, and saw that they were both checked over by a doctor before they were sent on their way.

They are given some blankets by Carpathia's crew, and left to find the softest, most private patch of floor that they can in the third class common area belowdecks. It's crowded with other steerage passengers from the Titanic-- some were lucky enough to find rooms to share with other passengers, but after more than a day in the infirmary for the both of them, Jack and her don't even bother to look. They won't complain about a lack of a bed when they are still just grateful to be alive more than anything else. Besides, it would be difficult for them to find a room which they could share together, and neither of them wants to be separated yet, even for the night. It's easier for the family groups to find rooms together-- those with children, brothers and sisters, mothers and daughters-- but not married couples, with no children. Because for lack of a better term at the moment, that is what he and Rose are; husband and wife.

Newlyweds, is what they tell anyone who asks. Married the eve Titanic set sail, and that the marriage license went down with the ship. It's a lie, of course, one that Rose came up with under duress and that he doesn't have it in his heart to deny. Jack fully intends to marry Rose as soon as they can, when the ship docks in New York. He has promised her that he would, and she has promised in return.

Although no licenses have been signed, and no vows have been taken, Jack feels that he and Rose are already married in every way that matters. They are wed to one another, not by the law or by God but by their own hearts and vows. Before long, even that technicality would be taken care of. Fiancé doesn't quite seem to encompass what they are, the commitments they have made and the level of belonging they feel to one another. In the meantime everyone thinks they are married. She is his wife. He is her husband. It is as simple as that.

My wife, He thinks, looking down at Rose, curled up beside him. It's a strange thought, and yet it isn't.

The first night, they lay down together at the back corner of the room. Rose lays between his body and the wall, partially shielded from view. There is a blanket beneath them, and one resting underneath their heads, and one shared between the two of them, with Cal's coat. They are in each other's arms, and it's all the warmth they need. There are others in the room, and yet they are alone, and it is quiet. It is more private here than it would have been if they'd shared a room with another passenger.

Neither of them sleep.

They pretend they do. They rest together, but they don't sleep. They don't speak of it. They kiss one another occasionally-- on the forehead, on the hands, on the lips-- but they do not make love. For now, it is enough just to hold one another.My wife,he thinks over and over again, letting the sound of her heart lull him into a stupor, her hands in his hair. My wife, my wife, my wife.

On the second night, Rose broaches the silence.

"Jack," She whispers, breath warm against his skin. "Are you asleep?"

What time is it? He doesn't know. It's got to be after midnight. It's late, but they haven't laid down together yet, though the others have. They're sitting against the wall in each other's arms, in their little pile of blankets. Her head rests on his shoulder, tangled up in one another as much as they can be. The other night, some old woman had glared at them for sleeping so close in public, sneering at the open affection between them like it was indecent. Jack had just pulled Rose closer and glared right back until it went dark-- he's so sick and tired of people telling them that they shouldn't be together, or love one another. It's hard for Jack to make himself care about it any longer; he knows Rose doesn't either.

"No," Jack answers. "I don't think I can." Sleeping means dreaming, after all. How can he dream now, knowing what may await him? It doesn't matter that he's bone tired. If he sleeps, he'll see that man trying to drown Rose, and all those bodies in the water, and that flickering hallway. How can he face that, with the ocean still swaying under them?

"I'm afraid I'll close my eyes and go back there," Rose says, shuddering, with her eyes shut. "To that door. That frozen, floating graveyard." Her hands clutch at his shirt, voluntary or not, so Jack pulls her tighter against him. "I thought you were dead," Rose confesses. They don't look at each other. Jack feels his heart stutter against hers. She thought I was dead. She hasn't spoken extensively of what happened once he fell unconscious, and he hasn't pressed her on it. Rose would share when she was ready. What he does know is that it must have scared her terribly that she's only just speaking of it.

"I'm not," Jack promises her, lips brushing against her neck. He presses a soft kiss to her skin, breathing in the smell of her. "I'm not, Rose. I'm here. I'm safe, and alive." My wife, He thinks at the warmth of her, even through all of the layers between them. My wife.

Rose rests her head over his heart-- listening to it beating, he realizes a moment later, like she has to assure herself of that fact. "I saw the lifeboat come," She continues. Jack can feel her tears against his skin, but her voice is steady. "And I said your name, and I shook your hand, and you wouldn't wake up. You wouldn't wake up, Jack. I don't even think you were breathing. I wanted to lay down and die right next to you. I was so angry with you for leaving me alone, and making me owe my life to you. But I made myself live," She tells him. "I took the whistle from the officer's mouth, and called the boat over. And I couldn't let you go-- I had to try. I had to take any chance that you might still be alive, Jack. I pulled you up on the door, and I made the officers take you from the water even though you weren't moving. I laid next to you in the lifeboat, waiting to feel you breathing, or to feel your heart beating. I waited, until I felt one. And then I counted every one until dawn. And I'm terrified that if I go to sleep, I'll wake up in the water, and you'll be gone. If this is a dream, Jack, I don't ever want to wake up."

Jack gathers her closer to him, as if such a thing is possible, and kisses her forehead. He feels his heart swell with love for her as he realizes just howclosehe came to not being here at all. Rose thought he was dead. The officers thought he was dead. If it weren't for her own stubbornness, he would have died days ago. "I for one am really glad you saved me," He says. "You know, since I wouldn't be here otherwise." She smiles against his chest-- he hadn't thought she could, at a time like this, but she is. The joy, relief, at her smile settles in his stomach like a warm weight. "That night… I kept on thinking about how I was going to die. There were at least three times when I was sure I wasn't going to live to see morning. And every time you saved me, Rose. Every time."

"Is this how it'll always be?" She laughs, her voice barely a whisper. Her lips brush against his throat, sending his heart racing in his chest. "You save me, and then I save you? You jump, I jump?"

Jack feels his face curl into a smile. "I'll always try to save you, Rose. Always. I just hope it's not always so dangerous." With a breath, he goes on. "I was sure I was going to die chained up back there. And you came and saved me. When you got on the lifeboat to leave, I was sure I was going to die again. Cal wasn't going to help me. When you came back, it saved me. You gave me something to fight for. And then in the water…"

"Jack,"

"I need to say this," Jack says. He needs to voice the truth in his heart, what he'd felt when everything around them was cold, except Rose's hand in his. "I knew I was going to die in the water. Okay, Rose? I knew. And it didn't bother me at all, not the way it should have. I… I was sad that I wouldn't get to keep my promises to you. About all the things we'd never do together, the life we wouldn't have. But I was also glad, because you were safe. You were going to make it, and if it cost my life… I was willing to give it. It didn't matter that I was going to die if it meant you would live. If I had to die, I was glad I was dying for you. I won't apologize for that, I won't take that back."

"I never wanted your life, Jack," Rose says. She looks up at him with a soft gaze that he can see even in the dark. Her hand reaches for his, tangling their fingers together in a soundless dance. It reminds him of the car only three days ago, how she'd melded their hands in the same way, how she was so warm and soft and alive under his hands. Put your hands on me, Jack. The words are burned into his memory. He longs to touch her like that again, to make love to her again, to have nothing between them again.

"I know," Jack answers. "It's yours anyway," He says. It will always be hers. It's been hers for days, since she saved him, made love to him, asked him to draw her. Since they kissed on the bow and danced through the night. Since he pulled her over the railing, since he first laid eyes on her. His heart will always belong to Rose, Rose and no one else. That's why he's so sure about what he's about to do. "I know I already asked you," He says, reaching down to take off the shoe he keeps his mother's ring in. Rose backs up a little too give him room to work, although she probably can't tell what he's doing with his shoe. Jack starts to pull at the laces. "But I wanted to do it right this time." The ring comes free. He takes her hand. "This belonged to my mother," He tells her. "It was all my Father could afford to give her. It didn't feel right to leave it behind, so I've just been carrying it around ever since. I want you to have it." He swallows and holds the ring out to her. Jack can hear her breaths in the silence. "Rose DeWitt Bukater, will you be my wife?"

In the dark, he watches her take the diamond ring from Cal off her finger, and replace it with the pearl one in his hand. She looks at him with more love than he's ever known in a gaze. "I already am," She says. And then Rose kisses him.

"What if we dream?" She asks, when they are lying down together. Her arms are around him, and his are around her.

"I'll wake you," Jack swears. "I promise." He kisses her.

"And I'll wake you," Rose swears. "I promise."

The second night, they both sleep.

April 18, 1912

"So what do we do with the other ring?"

Rose shrugs at his side. They're huddled up together in the third class commons this morning. Tonight they'll dock in New York. Jack longs to go above decks with her to stretch his legs and feel the sun, but he doesn't dare with Cal on the same ship as them, not when they could easily find Rose. Her name may not be on the survivor's list, but he won't really feel safe about their situation until there's land beneath their feet again, and they can put as much space between them and Rose's family as possible. Until they can get a legal document that says they belong to one another. "We could throw it over the side of the ship," He suggests drily. Jack truly has no desire to see it ever again, despite the money he knows it's worth. How many meals could it buy? He wonders. How many nights in a warm, safe, dry place?

"We should sell it," Rose says. She looks up at him with soft eyes. "I don't want to start out owing Cal anymore than you do, but…" We need what we can get, He thinks as she draws off, her hand clutched in his, their fingers laced together. "What are we supposed to do when we get to New York? It's only a ring. It won't be easy for him to find. He may have given it to me, but it is mine. Mine to sell, if I want," She says, tipping her head up to him. "Besides, Cal's money is so important to him-- I do enjoy the thought that some of it will go towards the last thing in the world he would've wanted to spend it on." Our life. The life they'll have together. Once, she chose to bear Cal's presence in her life, and now she's choosing to put it behind them.

Rose presses her lips to his-- her lips are soft, and she tastes like salt, and coffee. He could kiss her forever if they weren't surrounded, if he didn't need to breathe. "There's something else," She whispers when they part. Rose holds him close, so no one else can hear. Jack is so breathless from her kiss that he barely notices she's spoken at all. "This is Cal's coat," Rose says, her face only an inch from his. And that makes no sense, because why is Rose still talking about Cal when she's just kissed him? Jack's face must show his confusion. "It's got Cal's things in it,"

And then it makes sense. Jack's jaw clenches. "What kinds of things?"

"Money," She says. "Lots of it. I haven't bothered to count, but it's twenties. A whole stack of them. And the necklace. The Heart of the Ocean." The image of the necklace floats into his mind-- silvery stones, and the blue heart pendant. He sees it laying on Rose's chest as he draws her. He sees it in the Master at Arms' hand, damning him to drown in the bowels of Titanic. And now it's sitting in Rose's pocket between them at this very second.

Well, shit, He thinks. What are we supposed to do with that? "We can't sell it," He says. It would be too easy to find, too valuable. Rose knows, the same way he does. They can keep it or throw it in the ocean, but it will never do them any good. Rose can never wear it where anyone would see it. They can never leave it in plain view.

"We don't have to decide now," Rose shakes her head. "There'll be time. Besides… I think I want another drawing off you, Mister Big Artiste," She teases him with an open grin. "We'll consider it a wedding present,"

"For who?" Jack laughs.

In the end they decide that they'll sell the other ring, because it was Rose's to do with as she wanted, and they needed the money. With what they make off it, they'll start a new life together, in Santa Monica or Chippewa Falls or elsewhere. The other money, they'll save as much as they can. They'll try not to use it.

They keep the Heart of the Ocean. One day, they'll return it to the depths of the sea, where it belongs, with everyone and everything else that was lost there.

I hope you guys liked this! I felt compelled to update this again, considering that a few days ago was the 109th anniversary of the sinking. I really just felt like addressing a few things, and giving them a proper proposal. The next chapter will be set after the Carpathia docks in New York, and will follow some fairly important events there. See you again soon!