dote

(dōt)

intr.v. dot·ed, dot·ing, dotes

To show excessive fondness or love: doted on their only child.

Neji tried not to gag at the utterly nauseating scene playing out in front of his eyes. Why did he have to see this while he was eating?

"Boruto, open your mouth and say 'ahh,'" Hiashi-sama said, holding a rice ball in one hand and a very sullen Boruto in another hand.

"Jii-chan, I'm...not...a kid anymore," he grumbled, trying in vain to wriggle away from his incredibly doting grandfather. "I can...feed myself...ya know."

Hiashi-sama, or rather, "jii-chan," seemed to not have heard. "A growing little boy like you needs to eat healthy," he said, simultaneously ruffling Boruto's hair and attempting to stuff the rice ball into his mouth.

Clearly, old age had robbed Hiashi-sama of his remaining common sense, or else he would have known that stuffing an entire rice ball into someone's mouth was quite imprudent. Boruto would choke! What was wrong with his senile uncle?

But Neji need not have worried; ever since graduating from the Ninja Academy and formally becoming a genin, Boruto's reflexes had improved drastically. He ducked his head just as the rice ball was about to collide with his mouth, broke free from his grandfather's grip, and raced away.

"Boruto, come back! You haven't finished your lunch. Let jii-chan feed you!" Hiashi-sama yelled, rushing off after his grandson.

"What's wrong with this clan? You're all such weirdos!" Boruto yelled from somewhere off in the distance.

Neji glowered at the dining table. It had been almost three hours since Hinata-sama had dropped the children off at the compound, and Neji, so far, had not been allowed the opportunity to even speak to them, because of certain incredibly enthusiastic elderly people.

His eye twitched.

Stupid Hiashi-sama.

Unfortunately, the situation with Himawari wasn't much better.

"Himawari, get ready for tickle torture!" yelled Hanabi-sama, pouncing upon Neji's niece and making her explode in a fit of giggles.

The nerve of her. Hanabi-sama was much greater in size than his poor niece. Himawari could get crushed. What was she thinking? First Hiashi-sama, now her.

A part of him wondered if Tenten was right about calling him a "helicopter uncle," but he brushed the thought out of his mind.

He was just concerned for their safety. Death by choking on rice balls was a serious hazard. So was tickle torture. Hadn't Hanabi-sama heard of excitable crowds stampeding and crushing people underfoot? And kusuguri-zeme was a real method by which criminals were punished a few centuries ago!

He suspected that if he voiced these concerns to Tenten, she would scoff and accuse him of wanting to put his niece and nephew in bubble wrap or something, but Neji was a genius. He made connections that other people didn't and he could easily tell that this "fun doting playtime" stuff could lead to something regrettable.

He boldly strode forwards, grabbed a breathless, tearful Himawari (clearly because of the ogress Hanabi-sama torturing her), and pulled her to his side.

Himawari blinked at him curiously. "Oji-san?"

Hanabi-sama crossed the long-sleeved arms of her flame-pattern kimono and scowled at him. "Neji nii-san. What are you doing?"

Neji also crossed his arms and scowled right back. "Preventing you from killing Himawari."

"Excuse me, what?"

"You and Hiashi-sama clearly don't know how to play properly with children!" he snapped.

"We were having a tickling contest!" Hanabi-sama yelled.

"You're so much bigger than her, what if you crush her and she chokes?"

At this, the young heiress gaped at him in shock. "What the hell, nii-san? We were just playing! Hima isn't going to get seriously injured by a tickling contest!"

Himawari giggled at this, clearly enjoying the spectacle her aunt and uncle were offering her free of charge, but upon Neji directing a frown at her, immediately turned her eyes downwards and assumed an incredibly mournful expression.

"Admit it, nii-san! You're just jealous that you didn't get to spend any time with them this morning, thanks to tou-sama doting on them and trying to force-feed them!"

"J-jealous?" Neji spluttered. "I – why would you think I'm jealous?"

Hanabi-sama snickered. "I can't believe everyone here calls you a genius. You're denser than Naruto nii-san, and I always thought that was impossible."

Neji's eyes narrowed at the unforgivable insult. No one was denser than Naruto. How dare she.

"Take it back."

"No. Go whine to nee-sama if you want to." Then she turned to Himawari, ignoring Neji completely. "'Kay, Hima, how about some hide-and-seek?"

"Okay!" Himawari said, also ignoring Neji completely. "You're it, oba-san!"

Neji tried to keep his face stoic, but he had a strong suspicion that he did not succeed. Himawari...

Ignored him. To play hide-and-seek with Hanabi-sama.

The betrayal.

Stupid Hanabi-sama.

In the end, though he would blush and completely deny it, he did end up whining to Hinata-sama about the events of the day.

Unfortunately, he had lost his last reliable ally in the world, it seemed. Hinata-sama burst out laughing at he related to her Hanabi-sama's dangerous game of tickle torture.

"Nii-san, I think Hanabi is right." She mercifully stopped her laughing, though she did not stop smiling. "You're jealous that you have to share them with the others, right?"

"Tickle torture is – "

"Neji nii-san, really."

He scowled. "Fine. Maybe I am. A little."

Hinata-sama said nothing. She simply nodded and continued to smile at him sympathetically.

"But it's only because everyone in the clan is obsessed with spending time with them," he said sullenly. "Hiashi-sama, Hanabi-sama, Ko – "

"Ko?"

"He gave them both a piggyback ride after lunch," Neji said flatly.

"I see." Her lips twitched. "You have good reason to be jealous."

"Hinata-sama," he complained. "You're making fun of me."

"I'm not!"

"You are."

"Neji nii-san." She held up her hands in an appeal for calm. "I think you're looking at this the wrong way."

"Huh? Wrong way?"

"Instead of being jealous of the others, you should do something for Boruto and Himawari that no one else does. Something that they could only get from Neji oji-san."

"Something...they could only get from me?"

"That's right."

...

Neji's eyes narrowed as determination blossomed from her words and spread through his veins.

It made perfect sense. Hinata-sama was truly even more of a genius than he was.

The battle with Hiashi-sama and Hanabi-sama was only just beginning. But he would win. And become the best, most amazing and awesome uncle of all time.

The war was on.

A/N: For Iwik, who wanted to see a war between Neji and Hiashi on who would be the most doting relative. Only I kind of added the other Hyuuga too. I really think that Boruto and Himawari would be a massive hit within the strongest clan of Konoha, wouldn't you all agree? :)