He had been in deep thought.
It was all he could really do now. That, and teach. Try to, anyways. He never really believed that whole 'Do or Do Not. There is no Try' lesson that had been instilled in him at a young age because how can you "Do" something without first trying to do it?
He never really questioned their teaching methods (or more specifically, Yoda's) before until the culmination of it all came crashing down on them 23 years ago. Because of their teachings the Galaxy had succumbed to Evil's cold embrace. Because of their teachings he had never made things right with those which he wronged. Because of their teachings...
Because of their teachings Luke would never have the family he so desperately deserved.
Why is he teaching Luke? He had failed him more then he had ever failed Anakin. Because of him, his father held no trust in him which in turn caused a domino affect, all leading to his part in Anakin Skywalker's downfall as well as an involuntary part in Padmés death. And that's just the finale. Just look at how he treated Ahsoka in the waning years of the Clone Wars.
Ahsoka, who had easily become a part of the little family he had, was almost executed for Treason because the he and the Council had blindly put their trust into the Senate, a Senate that would rather bicker of politics and greed than focus on what was right and just, rather than conduct their OWN investigation into matters regarding the Force and its use ESPECIALLY in the case of murder, than their own Padawan who he knew in his very soul could never be responsible for such a heinous act. It was because of her Master, who had never lost faith in her and pushed himself to find the truth with no help from his peers, that she had been spared.
And the Jedi had thought that the title of Knight would woo her back into The Order that had raised her, which then abandoned her when she needed a fallback, and have all this be classified as "An Act of the Force" as if they had done nothing wrong.
"We deserved this fate"
Because of their misguided sight they had doomed themselves to near extinction and had rested all their hopes on the Son of their Slayer. And the way they would have Luke avenge them was with a lie. A lie so terrible that it broke the ever optimistic starry-eyed boy more then the War ever would.
"I can't do it Artoo...I can't go on alone."
He had been so deep in a state of self loathing that he almost didn't feel Yoda pass into the Force, nor see Luke come out of his hut. He doesn't want Luke to feel like he's alone, but he doesn't want - No - he doesn't deserve to be the one to comfort his conscience. That would go to someone else...
"Yoda will always be with you..."
"Obi-Wan..."
His face may have been still but mentally he was taken aback. Luke had always referred to him as "Ben" no matter the circumstance. To refer to him as Obi-Wan in that particular tone sent waves of shame in him. He had failed another student. Another Skywalker.
'No use in trying to run away from it this time.'
He had made his way towards Luke, as ever since Bespin he had been avoiding him for fear of where his anger would take him. Not that he would blame the younger Skywalker. So he waited for the eventual anger filled outburst with a myraid of questions and accusations against him like his father would ha-
"Why didn't you tell me? You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father."
...That is a lot calmer then he was expecting considering the circumstances. Time to tell the truth...maybe with a little bit of perception in the mix.
"Your father...was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed."
He seemed to take that in surprisingly well, even if he did find out the truth a year ago.
"So what I told you was true...from a certain point of view."
And he felt it. A swirl in the Force. But not one of Anger, but of confusion.
"A certain point a view?"
He's going to need to sit down for this. Even as a Spectre of the Force does he feel the need to really reach like with this. As this peace of wisdom, one he had learned NOT from the Jedi teachings but from personal experiences for over 40 years now, was the one thing he can't fail to teach Luke.
"Luke you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to, depend greatly on our own point of view."
Luke seems to take in that information well. He continues:
"Anakin was a good friend... When I first knew him, your father was already a great pilot, but I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi."
This next part doesn't come easy to him, but he has long since accepted it.
"I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda... I was wrong."
And Luke doesn't know just how wrong he really was.
"There is still good in him."
That wasn't a question. That was a statement. A statement so hauntingly reminiscent of his mothers last words alive in this galaxy. And that scares him to his core. So he tries to have Luke see reason. To have him see that that is naivety manifesting in his thoughts so that he doesn't meet his mothers fate.
"He more machine now then man. Twisted and Evil."
Then comes the stubbornness inherited from both parents:
"I can't do it, Ben..."
He knows the emotional turmoil Luke is experiencing on a similar level, as he himself experienced 23 years ago. The difference being astronomical. But nevertheless, the Force needs to be balanced again. He just hates that it has to fall upon the shoulders of the very person he considers his nephew.
"You cannot escape your destiny... You must face Darth Vader again."
But even after saying such a sentence with so much conviction, he already knows what Luke will say:
"I can't kill my own Father..."
Never did he think that the Jedi would stoop so low as to convince someone to commit patricide. Even if it's for the good of the Galaxy. Anakin can't be saved. No matter how wrong the Jedi teachings were, the one thing they taught he knew was certain: Once you start down the dark path, it will dominate your destiny forever. And if Luke was unable to strike down the evil that was his father-
"Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope..."
And it was true. Although Leia did share the same potential, it was her temper, her anger towards Vader that would be her undoing. Luke is to Padmé what Leia is to Anakin. And if the Emperor ever got his wretched decrepit hand on her...
"Yoda spoke of another..."
Although catching him off guard, he did appreciate the change in thought. Luke deserved to know of the other, but he couldn't know of her identity until AFTER the Sith were defeated. If either Vader or Palpatine found out, it would plunge the galaxy into further darkness the likes of which have never been seen before. So with a ghost of a smile, he begins to tell Luke about her.
"The other he spoke of is your twin sister."
"But I have no sister."
And the smile is gone. Those words should never have been uttered. But there is nothing he can do about that now.
"To protect you both from the Emperor you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I do, that if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat today. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous."
"Leia! Leia's my sister!"
Well, there goes that...
"Your insight serves you well."
But it could also be an omen of what is to come...
"Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made go serve the Emperor."
And Luke took a moment to think, to consider Old Ben's words. How his thoughts could be turned against him by the most powerful being alive in the galaxy. How it could mean the downfall of the Rebellion when they're at their strongest - or most desperate depending on who you ask. Then another thought crosses his mind:.
"Ben...the Jedi of Old, did they have to bury their feelings as well in moments like this?"
"Of course, Luke."
"Did it always work?"
And a flurry of memories depicting the final days of the Republic as he knew it all came rushing back. All of which he knew of, gone. Either blasted or struck down by a lightsaber. All because they buried their feelings. All because they taught the next generation to bury their feelings. All because one Jedi felt too much, and it costs the galaxy an unfathomable amount turmoil.
"...No Luke. Not always."
"Luke...I want you to know something. Something I've kept to myself for over 20 years."
And he just stares at him like an ever obedient child.
"As you have probably surmised, I'm not the wise experienced Jedi Master you first thought I was. Nor am I as...soft spoken as you know me now. In the days long before the Clone Wars I was a rather firm and blind follower of the Jedi Code. A Code that Master Yoda and I now see as a blueprint to our downfall. A Code I never taught you in the time I knew you or had forced you to learn weeks after my death. Because of that Code, along with my and the whole Jedi Order's assistance, is the reason your Father fell...and why your family is undeservingly broken."
Surprise and Confusion pulsate in the Force, as strong as if you were standing right behind the thrusters of a starship. If it weren't for Dagobah's position in the Force, Vader and his Master would've pinpointed their location in an instant.
"I have made many grave errors in my teaching of Anakin. Many that were of my own making. Many that I never resolved either due to thinking the Force with grant him peace with my decisions or not thinking of the consequences of them. And it wasn't just your Father, Luke. I have made errors with his apprentice, who he would've had you call your Aunt if she were here. I knowingly didn't speak up for her when she needed me the most. I had taken your Mother's friendship for granted, betrayed my Men's trust in me when they needed morale to survive through the day. I even used the woman I loved to sell a lie to protect a Liar, and Liar's former pupil had slain her in front of me. I didn't even get the chance to properly and utterly apologize. Not to her. Not to your mother. Not to anyone. I had pushed them all so far away and I just couldn't..."
He can't even look at the man. He can't even hold his weightless head up to face the last person he ever wronged.
"I just couldn't find the words to make them understand. That was my whole problem. And when I understood why I was like this and how wrong it was, it was too late. In each and every instance, it was too late to make amends. I am so sorry Luke. I am so so sorry that you didn't have the family you or your sister rightfully deserved because of my mistakes, my teachings, my own-"
"I forgive you, Ben."
What?
"What?"
And Luke gave him a smile. A smile that betrayed his age. A smile that wasn't of the barely trained 23 years old Jedi that stood before him, but that of a Grandmaster of Old.
"I may not know all of the specifics, Ben. But I do know this: You didn't do any of what you said on purpose. You didn't go out of your way to ruin the relationships that you had with the important people in your life. And you didn't mean to separate my family. You had been following a certain way of living for years and tried to teach it on someone who was different from you, which never works, but that didn't stop you from interacting with them. And the family I had, even though they weren't by blood, had loved me just the same. And I can assure you that Leia would say the same about her parents. If there's one thing I've learned under both yours and Master Yoda's tutelage, is that we all still have much to learn. Living or dead. I may not be able to speak for the others, but I forgive you."
And for the first time in his very existence was he truly speechless. This boy-no-this Man is speaking to him in a way that actually gets through his own stubbornness and self loathing that it completely destroys the last remnants of guilt he had.
It is a blessing.
"Luke...I.."
"I promise you, Ben. I won't let you down. Nor will I be coming back empty handed."
And with that he had left. Strapped in to his X-Wing and flying off towards the Rendezvous Point of the Rebellion so they can strategize a plan that would decide the fate of the galaxy as they knew it. And all he could do was be proud of the Jedi Knight, as with those words he truly spoke like one. Not like how the Order in his day were, but long before him. Maybe even dating back before the Old Republic and its Jedi Order.
But he would be left with one thought: 'What did he mean by "I won't be coming back empty handed?"
And the next thing he knew, there was Celebration. The Rebel Alliance had done it. They had succeeded in destroying the 2nd Death Star, along with the confirmed deaths of the Empire's head enforcer Darth Vader and their Leader Emperor Sheev Palpatine. With this they were not just one step closer to demolishing the Empire and restoring the Republic, but a Galactic landslide closer. And then some.
He was looking on from afar, hidden to all but those he chose to see him. Smiling. Peace would be restored, and a new Jedi Order would rise with it. One left by Luke Skywalker, the Hope for the Galaxy.
'If only Anakin were here to see this...He would've been beyond proud.'
Unfortunately, the passing of Darth Vader made that impossible, as once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your des-
And he felt something. Something he hasn't felt since...
He had turned to try and find the source of that something, but with no luck. As he turned back he had found Luke joining up with Leia and Han, embracing both of them. It was wonderful. Then he strayed away from them, and turned towards him. He was doing caught off guard by this that he didn't even sense Yoda appear next to him, watching alongside him. He could even feel Qui-Gon's joy in the background as well no matter how well he kept himself hidden.
He was smiling at them. And as he was about to smile back, that something appeared to him again, only this time with a form.
He was tall. Taller than he was. His hair was greying and short but combed back. He had soft features on his face as if he hadn't been outside in a very long time. And when he looked at him, a small, but content smile was all he needed to give, before turning to face Luke. And his face beamed joy and his face shined with fondness over him. Like that of a proud father looking at his son...
And he needed no words. Neither to speak nor understand. He just knew. While this is not how he expected to meet him, especially as no one had ever seen him in over 20 years, here he was. Undamaged. Happy. The Force even gave him a rare gift: To have his Son see the real face of his Father, untouched by harm and aged appropriately, looking as he would today. And even though they shared one brief look at each other it was a clear as day that both had forgave each other.
Luke was right. In both aspects. Not only did he still have much to learn, but he didn't come back empty handed.
Anakin was with his family.
Anakin was home.
I have no hate towards Hayden Christensen, but Sebastian Shaw just feels more like Luke's father to me. And before I get the "Force Ghost Anakin appeared young because that was the last time he was really Anakin Skywalker" that's wrong. The last time he was truly Anakin Skywalker was when he sacrificed himself and saved his Son from the Emperor. At 46 years old. The Force would give Luke what he would've wanted: To see the face of his father and it would only make sense if the Force made Anakin what he would look like to Like in current day, but unharmed like Obi-Wan was.In the end, Sebastian Shaw will always be Forced Ghost Anakin for me. Thanks for staying with me until the end of this story. Be safe!