The room was enormous. Zuko felt sweat drip down his spine as the temperature of the room continued to rise. He found himself in the war meeting room of his nightmares, but instead of being at the foot of the throne in front of his father, he sat on the throne. He felt taller sitting in the chair. He had long hair that was pulled halfway up in a top knot, and Zuko could feel the weight of the Firelord's crown digging into his scalp. Beside him were two enormous creatures. From his peripheral vision Zuko saw blue and red dragons that were three times the size of him, if not bigger. The blue dragon smirked dangerously at him.

"It's getting late. Are you planning to retire soon, My Lord?" Azula's voice came from the dragon's mouth.

Zuko looked at her confused. "But I'm not tired…?" His mouth felt funny and he found it hard to talk. He wanted to get up and run away from the dragons, but he felt himself stuck to the chair of the Fire Lord.

"Relax, Fire Lord Zuko. Just let go….Give in to it," the blue dragon purred. "Shut your eyes for a while."

The Red dragon pushed itself in front of the Blue dragon and wrapped protectively around Zuko. " No, Fire Lord Zuko! Do not listen to the blue dragon. You should get out of here right now. Go! Before it's too late!" Came his uncle's voice from the body of the red dragon.

Zuko looked at both of the dragons, unsure of what to do. The voices of his sister and uncle mixed together in his head making everything feel fuzzy. Maybe closing his eyes would help.

"Sleep now, Fire Lord, Zuko" the blue dragon repeated. "Sleep...Just like mother."

The room started to melt away as the dragons disappeared and Zuko's mother appeared before him, giving him a sad smile like she had the night she ran away. Zuko reached out to her, calling her name. She didn't seem to hear him as she turned away from him again and walked away. "Mom!" Zuko called, his voice echoing in his ears.

"No! Don't go to sleep, Prince Zuko!" demanded the other dragon. Zuko felt foggy as he tried to turn and face the dragon, confused that his uncle's voice came from the creature. The room fell away leaving Zuko falling through the darkness, unable to reach anything to stop his freefall. Zuko cried out in alarm and flailed around for anything to hold onto to pull him out of the dark, empty hole. A hand reached out to him and held onto him tightly.

Zuko woke with a start and instinctively reached to the left side of his face, only to find his scar was gone He found himself in a completely different room than when he had gone to sleep. There was a sleeping form beside him, making the blankets rise up and down softly. There was a mirror on the wall in front of him, and Zuko caught his reflection and yelled. Blue tattoos scaled the back of his bald head and blankets around him fell away to reveal darker skin and a star-shaped scar wrapping around his sternum. The body was older than Zuko was, but also older than the young 15 year old that he had chased for so many years and months.

The body beside him stirred and he looked back to see an older version of the waterbender girl look at him in confusion. Her face faded into Mai's and Zuko slowly felt himself return to his own body, but much older.

"What's wrong?" Mai whispered, her voice gravelly. She reached out for his arm, but Zuko jumped back in surprise. He hadn't seen Mai since they were both little and he couldn't understand how the older version was meeting him now. "Zuko, come back to us." Mai's face faded into Zuko's mother's face and Zuko reached out to her, but she was always just outside of his reach. "Never forget who you are, Zuko," Ursa urged.

Zuko shook his head. "I didn't forget, mother. I promise!"

Before Zuko could do anything more, Zuko was shaken from his nightmares by his uncle, bringing him back into the little attic of the tea shop in Ba Sing Se. Zuko sighed a breath of relief and sank back into his sweat soaked bedding, exhausted but relieved as the fever broke.

Zuko rolled his neck and sighed as he woke up. His room was dark and quiet. He wasn't used to it even after a week at home. He missed the rocking of his ship, but he also missed the sound of clinking dishes downstairs in the tea shop. If he strained his ears, he could just hear servants scampering outside of his chamber doors. With a sigh, Zuko got up and tiredly put on some extra, black training clothes. Telling by the flickering flame inside of him, it was just before sunrise.

Instead of going out the door, Zuko leapt onto his windowsill and crept out of his room. He and Mai had started to meet in the mornings before any of their commitments so they could practice their mental shields and sometimes hand-to-hand combat. It was also practically the only time they could find for each other. Zuko found himself bored often in the palace as his father never gave him anything to do, but Mai had had meeting after meeting for weeks straight, taking Azula's place for several of them.

Their place was Zuko's mother's old garden that had overgrown years ago. Casting a glance around, Zuko found he was the first one there that morning. He settled on the grass in front of the old turtleduck pond and settled into a meditation pose. Even if he couldn't firebend, meditation still helped him center himself in the morning.

He heard the grass shift under the weight of a foot, and he opened his eyes to Mai sitting near him in silence. She dropped her bag for the day next to her with a thunk. Zuko extended a hand, which she took. They sat in communal silence, enjoying the early morning light that was just breaking the horizon.

"Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to fly close to the sun?" Zuko mused aloud.

Mai breathed out of her nose heavily and laid her head back, squinting at the sun. "Let's not go there right now, Zuko," she of the corner of his eye, he saw Mai looking at him with a soft look in her eyes.

Zuko turned towards her, shaking his head. "No, I'm serious. What if it was possible to be close to the sun and feel its warmth fill your whole being?"

Mai rolled her eyes, but let a small smile crack through her mask. "Ugh, firebenders. What will we do with you? Always obsessed with the sun and warmth."

"You like my warmth," Zuko countered, bumping Mai with his elbow, making her glare at him, but Zuko could see the blush in her cheeks rising.

"I never said that."

"No, but you display it every time you put those cold hands on me." Zuko took Mai's hands in his and brought them to his lips for a quick kiss. Mai tutted at him, but didn't pull her hands away.

"It's not my fault I'm always cold," Mai pouted quietly. Zuko watched as her public mask fell and her generous, soft smile radiated off her face, letting only him see. Zuko felt calm for the first time that day, and he reached in to steal a kiss to savor the moment.

"I never meant that. I'm just happy I'm the only one that can warm you up." Zuko pressed another kiss against Mai's jaw tentatively, still getting used to her proximity to him, still in awe of how she opened up around him.

Mai scoffed at Zuko's words. "You're such an idiot," she whispered fondly.

"But I'm your idiot right now," Zuko assured, tickling the back of her ear, making her squirm away from him; her smile reassuring him that she didn't' dislike his portrayal of affection.

"Ugh, you are impossible." Mai continued to glare at her boyfriend, but Zuko preferred to think of it as her version of a smouldering gaze. Zuko felt like he couldn't breathe for the moment, and he leaned his head against her shoulder to hide his blush. Mai rested her head against the crown of his and the two sat there, listening to the world awake. "Orange is such an awful color," Mai murmured, looking up at the sunrise.

Zuko laughed breathlessly. "You're so beautiful when you hate the world."

Mai gave him a look, her lips folding into a smirk. "Thanks," she replied sarcastically. "I don't hate you," she added in a hushed tone.

Zuko leaned closer to her. "I don't hate you either."

Mai rolled her eyes at his cheesy tone, but placed a careful kiss to his lips. Zuko melted into her touch, but couldn't stop smiling. She pushed at his shoulder playfully. "Come on, I don't have much time this morning. Let's practice your shield."

Zuko groaned softly and shifted so their knees rubbed against each other and he was facing her while sitting in the overgrown grass. He schooled his face into a blank slate and breathed out, loosening his shoulders.

"I'll start with statements today: The Fire Lord is an ostrich-horse."

Zuko's lips twitched, but he forced down the image his brain supplied.

"The world is round. I hate reading."

Zuko let out a laugh. "That's a lie."

Mai rolled her eyes. "Of course it is. You try lying now."

Zuko rolled his shoulders. "I hate turtleducks. I am a firebending prodigy." Zuko's right eye twitched, earning him a flick on the knee. "The Avatar is dead."

They continued, going back and forth, telling truths and lies as well as several questions, trying to get the other to react. Zuko felt that he was getting quite good and his knee was less bruised from it.

"Why were you avoiding me?" Mai suddenly asked

Zuko's eyebrows rose, rewarding him with another flick on the knee. He frowned. "I wasn't?"

Mai gave him a leveling look. "You never come and see me during the day."

"You have things to do!" Zuko protested. Another flick on the knee. He took a deep breath and rearranged his face, focusing on the burning feeling that started low in his belly and rose to the tips of his hair. "I thought you would want some time to yourself" Zuko said evasively.

Mai rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I have meetings, but not a ton. Is it something I did?" Mai asked, looking truly confused at his actions. "Is something wrong?"

Zuko shrugged, keeping his nonchalant position. Mai's face screwed up, frustrated at his lack of reaction. "Nothing's wrong. I'm home where I belong. I'm the happiest I have ever been. I have a nation that loves me again; a father who cares about me; a sister who wants to spar with me and a girlfriend. What more can I ask for?" Zuko's hand crept onto Mai's own knee, seeking to join their hands, but Mai visibly flinched at his touch. Zuko paused.

"We both know that's a lie." Mai suddenly snapped. "Is that all you've got?"

Zuko looked at her, confused. "Um...yes?"

"Is that all I am to you?" Mai clarified.

Zuko looked at her, slowly becoming more bewildered. "What are you talking about? Everything's fine between us, right? What do you mean is that all?" Zuko sounded truly confused as Mai pulled away from him and her eyes glaring at him. "What?"

"I'm just a girl who happens to be your girlfriend then? Just a girl that you can do things with? That's it. Sounds like a fun job position for someone to fill," Mai replied sardonically, rising to her feet. She crossed her arms and looked down at Zuko, who was still sitting cross-legged on the ground.

"What are you talking about? Why would someone else fill-What?!" Zuko stood up and reached out to her, but Mai pulled away. "What?!" Zuko repeated, growing frustrated at her strange actions. Only a few moments ago, she was reaching out to him and kissing him, now she was pushing him away. Zuko couldn't figure her out. "You're not making any sense! What's your problem?" Zuko lashed out.

Mai looked at him like he had grown a dragon's head. "My problem?" She asked in a low voice, her voice void of emotion. "I'll leave you to think about it," she replied cryptically, leaving the overgrown garden without another word, her footsteps echoing on the stone corridors surrounding the hidden place. Zuko growled in frustration at her retreating back, and he dug his hands into his air, pulling at the strands.

"Ugh! What's wrong with me? What is wrong with you!" he called after her. Zuko got up to follow her, but a voice called out to him.

"Trouble in paradise?" Azula leaned against one of the archways that had a vine growing up, around it.

"What do you want?" Zuko spat out, almost angry enough to stomp his feet like a toddler.

"I came to find you. I need you." Azula picked at her nails.

Zuko grabbed Mai's discarded bag at the side of the pond and glowered at his sister. "Go away, Azula. I'm not in the mood."

Azula shrugged. "Whatever; your loss."

Zuko ignored her as he followed the hallway that Mai had taken, with her bag in hand. He heard her voice up ahead and he sped up, only to halt as he heard a loud male voice.

"Is the prince coming?" the man drawled.

"I'm afraid he is hung up at the moment," Mai responded, her voice monotone and gravely.

Zuko frowned and leaned around the corner to catch a glance. From what he could recognize, the man looked like one of his father's councilmen. Zuko's frown deepened as he continued to listen.

"That's too bad; his father would have wanted to come."

"I'm sorry to disappoint," Mai quipped. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend." The two bowed to each other, and the councilman left down an adjacent hallway.

Zuko, filled with a sudden hurt and anger, stomped out from behind the column he was hiding behind and marched over to Mai, tossing her bag. Her eyes widened in surprise, not bothering with a mental shield.

"What do you mean I'm busy," Zuko growled. "You couldn't tell me I was needed at a meeting."

"Zuko, you don't understand. I wasn't keeping this from you," Mai replied quickly, holding her hand out as if to physically protect herself. "It's a stupid meeting that's about another banquet. I'm going to it because I have to, but for you to go would be an insult of your character," she tried to explain. Zuko huffed and opened his mouth to speak, but Mai put a hand against his chest to stop him. "I need to go. Thanks for bringing this." She motioned to her bag of clothes to change into before the meeting. "I can explain more later, but I swear you are missing nothing."

"Yeah nothing really important," Zuko said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Mai gave him a sharp look. "Stop it, Zuko. You know I am not in charge. I'll speak to you later," she urged, pushing away from him.

Zuko growled, watching her leave once again. He spun around and left for the training grounds. Everyone was hiding something from him, or at least that's what he felt like. He hadn't even been avoiding Mai. It felt like she was avoiding him! Zuko took his double swords out of his scabbard and started on the training dummy. If that's the way it was going to be, so be it.

It had been a long day. He didn't have to go to meetings today, but his father had sent him traipsing across the capitol picking up this and that. Zuko was allowed to finally return to his chambers and he was exhausted. At this point in the day, anger still filled him, but he wasn't in the mood to attempt to firebend and watch his fire pitifully fly out of his hands, nor he didn't feel like practicing his swords again, so Zuko settled for turning his bed into a punching bag. When he had burned up all of his energy, the prince collapsed onto his bed, letting all of his breath rush out in a disgruntled huff.

"I wish Uncle was here," Zuko found himself mumbling. His chest hurt like it had been bruised as he thought about his uncle. He knew he shouldn't even be thinking about his uncle, but he could not help but wish for his uncle to be there to help him through his thoughts. "He is a traitor," Zuko repeated like a montra, but the words were starting to lose meaning.

Outside, through his window, the stars hung in the sky. The light of the moon was hidden as it was the cycle of the new moon. Zuko cast a glance over to his chest of clothes from his banishment that he had insisted on keeping. It wouldn't be too hard to sneak out… would it?

Zuko slung his darkest cloak over his shoulders and untied his topknot to let his longer hair fall over his face like a curtain. He grabbed a black overcoat and attached it over his daily robes. He switched out his shoes for his quieter set and took off out his window and towards the prison right outside the grounds of the grand palace.

There were several guards out, and Zuko only had to pause a few times to prevent himself from being seen. He scaled the roofs of the palace, his feet making a soft pattering sound against the tiles. He jumped down lightly on his feet in front of the entrance to the prison and walked in without any trouble. Prince Zuko avoided guards when he could, not wanting to alert anyone to his presence. There was a small list in one of the guard rooms that he snatched, quickly scanning it to find the cell he was seeking.

Zuko walked down several flights of stairs to the basement. He turned the corner, but quickly pulled back and groaned under his breath. Of course there was a guard in front of his uncle's cell. Zuko pulled his hood farther down on his face and rearranged his bangs. Best case scenario, the guard lets him through no trouble. Worst case scenario… he has to play the prince card. Taking a deep breath he rounded the corner and walked resolutely towards the guard.

"You again? Stop where you are!" The guard called. Zuko angled his brow, wondering who else would have visited his uncle this time of night. Zuko tried to step forward again, but the guard called out again. Zuko sighed, relenting.

With one swoop of his hand, Zuko pulled his hood down to reveal his face.

"Prince Zuko!" The guard cried in wonder, immediately falling into a low bow.

Zuko grabbed the guard by the collar and shoved him against the wall. "I'm going in for a visit. You're going to stand guard here, and no one is going to know about this," Zuko demanded. The guard nodded meekly and fell to the ground in a hoveled puddle. Zuko stepped over him and led himself into the next chamber. He dug his hands into his pocket and he fiddled with the ends of his hair as he stepped into the room.

His uncle looked small. That was the first word that came to Zuko's mind. "Uncle?" Zuko called out. "Uncle it's me." The old man inside of the prison that ran from the bottom to the top of the room barely moved at the sound of Zuko's voice. Zuko tried again. "Uncle, it's me...Zuko."

Uncle Iroh moved his head up, but since his back was to Zuko, Zuko could not see his face, nor see his reaction. He did not speak. All Zuko wanted to hear was his voice, but he was denied it.

" Are you going to talk to me?" Silence. Zuko crossed his arms. "You brought this on yourself, you know," Zuko declared. He kicked the side of the prison idly. "We could have returned together. You could have been a hero!" Still no response. "You have no right to judge me, Uncle. I did what I had to do in Ba Sing Se, and you're a fool for not joining me," Zuko bit out. He looked imploringly over at his uncle, begging for him to look up at him or make a noise at least. His uncle continued to ignore him.

Zuko sighed. "Uncle, I need you," he whispered. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I thought I did the right thing, but I feel so lost. I have my father back, my sister...Mai. It doesn't feel like enough." Zuko kicked the prison cell again in anger. "Why isn't it enough!"

Zuko panted, rubbing at his forehead. He glanced over at the old man in the corner, but he had not moved. "You're not going to say anything?" Zuko yelled. The prince pointed his fist at a stool in the corner of the room just outside the cell, blasting it to smithereens with his firebending. It was the strongest flame he had produced in weeks. Your power is guided by anger, said a nagging voice in the back of Zuko's mind. It was the closest thing he could get to his Uncle's voice. Zuko screwed up his face in anger. "Fine be that way, you crazy old man! Crazy! You hear me! You're crazy! If you weren't in jail, you'd be sleeping in a gutter! You should count yourself lucky!" Zuko fled the room, leaving his uncle behind. Only when he left the room did his own words register and Zuko felt the guilt begin to gnaw at his bones.

He had lied to his father. He had lied to his Uncle. He hadn't killed the Avatar. He hadn't done anything worthy of his place back in the Fire Nation. The Avatar was alive, he just knew it. The spirit water that the waterbender had offered him would have magical properties. Properties that could raise the dead. Zuko shivered as he made his way out of the prison and onto the streets of Caldera.

Zuko walked into the lower areas of Caldera, slipping into a busy inn. He was unnoticed by the crowd of drunkards as he crept towards the innkeeper. He slid a coin onto the counter. "I need to get rid of someone. Do you know someone who could help me?" Zuko said in a mysterious manner. The innkeeper looked Zuko up and down, sizing him up. Zuko ducked his head so his hair carefully covered his scar. The innkeeper shrugged.

"Yeah, I know somebody. What are you going to do about it?" The innkeeper folded his arms.

Zuko pushed another few coins towards the man. The innkeeper grinned. "I'll have him meet you out back in five." The innkeeper was losing several teeth as he grimaced at Zuko. Zuko nodded grimly before sliding back outside, heading towards the alley to wait.

Zuko felt jittery. Why did he think this was a good idea? He should just go after the Avatar alone, but how well did that go last time? Zuko growled at his own thoughts. He needed to get the Avatar taken care of. The sooner, the better.

Prince Zuko heard heavy footsteps approach and a door to the inn bang open. Zuko crept out of the shadows with his hood pulled high over his head. In the corner of one of the alleyways, Prince Zuko spied the criminal. The man was at least twice his size, if not three. A red, tattooed diamond was at the center of the man's head with large streaks branching out of it. The man's eyes were cold and dead. "I need you to do something for me," Zuko called out.

The man shrugged. Zuko took it as a sign to continue.

"The Avatar is alive," Zuko whispered to the burly man. The man's gaze delved deep into Zuko's soul, unblinking. "I want you to find him….and end him," Zuko commanded.

The burly man nodded grimly. He took the sack of coins Zuko offered him. The red symbol ingrained in his forehead caused the light of the lanterns to glint oddly off of his forehead. "Done," he said simply and turned away.

Zuko stood there for a moment, shocked that the man agreed without thought. A chill went up Zuko's spine, but he shrugged it off.

"Mai," Zuko said in surprise, spying her from a short distance as he slunk down his hallway back to his chambers.

Mai glanced up from her position against the doorframe of Zuko's rooms. She looked like she had been standing there for at least an hour and had been playing with one of her shurikens. She looked at Zuko, boredly, but her crossed arms hinted at her annoyance with him.

"What are you doing here?" Zuko squirmed in front of her gaze, his hand hovering over his door's handle.

"Waiting for you. What did you think I was doing here at this time of night?" Mai retorted, her voice short and clipped.

Zuko rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Ummm, come in?" Mai pushed his door open without pause, making Zuko walk in behind her.

"What were you doing out so late?" Mai asked right away. She did not take a seat, and merely stood, glaring at Zuko.

Zuko rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, I had to do some errands," Zuko replied. It wasn't an outright lie. He was careful to keep his face straight and void of information. Mai continued to glare at him, but this time with an eyebrow raised. Zuko waited for her to speak again, but she didn't look like she was in the mood. "Would you like to sit down?" he offered.

"No."

Zuko bit back a growl and sat down himself in the chair closest to him. "Well, what do you want?" Zuko's tone was a little angrier than he had intended, but he didn't apologize.

Mai took a deep breath, almost like she was trying to calm herself down. Zuko leaned back in his chair just in case. "I thought you would want to talk."

"Thanks, but I'm going to bed," was Zuko's response. Zuko got up. He was exhausted from the day and he couldn't take anything more. Being on land and having such an exhausting day was enough for him. He needed to think, and not when he was around someone else, someone who had lied to him no less. From the corner of his eye he caught Mai's head drop and her gaze darken. "What?" Zuko repeated. He threw up his hands and glared back at her. "What's your problem? You clearly are not in the mood to talk civilly so what's the point? Want to apologize about hiding things from me? Go right ahead, but I'm not really in the mood to listen to your excuses."

Mai's expression didn't change. She had clearly shut herself off to him, but Zuko didn't feel like caring at the moment. "I'm not here to apologize; I am here to explain," she bit back, displeasure clear in her tone.

Zuko gave her an exhausted look. "What is there to explain? You want to explain that you didn't tell me about a meeting that I was invited to? You want to talk about hiding things from me? Or do you want to talk about our first fight? You don't like being called my girlfriend? You are. If you don't want to be, just tell me." Zuko's brows knit together. His hands fell to his sides and he looked at her imploringly.

Mai swallowed carefully, but didn't pull her gaze away from his. She opened and closed her mouth several times. "I-No, I mean yes…" Mai took a deep breath, finally looking away and recollected herself. "I want to be your girlfriend, but I guess it feels like I'm simply filling a position whenever you bring it up…" She turned back towards him, but the way she looked over her shoulder at him made her look so defensive it made Zuko hesitate to fill the silence. "I ca-care about you and I- I had hoped it meant more." She turned her head away again and Zuko could tell she was fiddling with one of her blades again. "For hiding information from you...I wasn't I...that meeting was about the upcoming banquet that only ladies attend. I hadn't heard that you were meant to attend it, and you probably weren't, but the councilman asked me about you to get a rise out of me and you because it is an insult for you to even be asked to come. I swear it had nothing to do with hiding information." Mai paused again, but she turned around to look at him, her eyes melting her mask. "I care about you, and they know that, and just...I wanted to protect you...sorry," she ended quietly.

Zuko waited for her to elaborate, but she simply stared up at him. Zuko found himself grappling for words as all of the information sunk in. "I...You do?" He finally blurted out. He stuttered as he tried to form a more coherent sentence that actually explained his thoughts. He tried again. "I didn't know…" Zuko ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I didn't understand the situation at all." He let out a weak laugh, which melted into a cough. "You mean a lot to me too, and of course you're not just a "girlfriend" to me." He took a step towards her. "What made you think that?"

Mai pursed her lips as she surveyed him. "Nevermind," she murmured, turning to leave. "Goodnight, Zuko."

"No, Mai." Zuko reached out to her and gingerly wrapped his hand around her wrist, but not too tightly so she could still leave if she wanted. "Let me try again." Zuko huffed and ran a hand through his hair that had fallen out of the topknot long ago. "Is it because you thought I've been avoiding you?"

"You were avoiding me," Mai retorted, her voice scratchy and rough.

Zuko sighed again. "I just, being home is a lot. I guess I didn't think."

"You do that a lot."

"I didn't mean to!" Zuko defended. "What do you want me to do? When I made time to spend with you you got mad! What do you want me to do?" Zuko repeated.

"I don't want to be hidden," Mai finally admitted.

Zuko raised his eyebrows in shock as he thought back to the places they met: the secret garden, his or her rooms, never a public place, not even the hallway. "Oh...I guess I didn't…"

Mai gave him a look out of the side of her eye. "Yeah, you ignore me whenever there's someone else around or if we're in a room that has practically anyone else in it." Mai raised her eyes to the ceiling and took a deep breath. "Just- I don't know...work with me? I'm a partner, not just a title."

"I will try harder." Zuko leaned in and pecked her on her lips. "We okay?"

She nodded. "Sure."

Zuko shuffled from foot to foot. "Cool."

Mai stepped away from him, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Alright, I have to get home to sleep, you should too." Mai squeezed his hand before letting go. "Goodnight, Zuko."

"Goodnight," Zuko replied. When Mai left the room, Zuko banged his head against the door frame. "Why am I so bad at this?" No one could answer that question for him.